There are no ogres to impale, no weapons (unless a fishing pole counts as a weapon), no panty-flashing fights between Amazons. Like your stoner brother, the game is a little too laid back for its own good, doesn't have any goals, and it farts like muffler-less Buick whenever it eats peanuts.

This is easily best Prince of Persia game yet. The new moves, including those delicious stealth kills, work perfectly.

This is easily best Prince of Persia game yet. The new moves, including those delicious stealth kills, work perfectly.

This is easily best Prince of Persia game yet. The new moves, including those delicious stealth kills, work perfectly.

This is easily best Prince of Persia game yet. The new moves, including those delicious stealth kills, work perfectly.

Greg Gumble and Clark Kellogg do a nice job with postgame highlights and their "Selection Sunday" show lends real NCAA flavor to the proceedings. In the booth, Vern Lundquist and Bill Rafferty do a solid job of keeping commentary interesting.

These are some of the best graphics you'll ever see. Your first confrontation with the V-Rex (yes, that's what Peter J. is calling it) will be very, very memorable.

Watching our zombie army do our brain-eating dirty work for us was a gaming moment we won't soon forget.

These are some of the best graphics you'll ever see. Your first confrontation with the V-Rex (yes, that's what Peter J. is calling it) will be very, very memorable.

Greg Gumble and Clark Kellogg do a nice job with postgame highlights and their "Selection Sunday" show lends real NCAA flavor to the proceedings. In the booth, Vern Lundquist and Bill Rafferty do a solid job of keeping commentary interesting.

These are some of the best graphics you'll ever see. Your first confrontation with the V-Rex (yes, that's what Peter J. is calling it) will be very, very memorable.

The actual gameplay mechanics blow. The's game's targeting and camera system is about as skittish as the Howells' from Gilligan's Island would be at the Vibe Awards.

Fact is, it's good. If you dig the Aeon franchise, Charlize's long, lithe getaway sticks, or third-person action games, check it out.

The actual gameplay mechanics blow. The's game's targeting and camera system is about as skittish as the Howells' from Gilligan's Island would be at the Vibe Awards.

After about 15 minutes of gameplay, our thumbs felt like Robert DeNiro in "Casino" had worked them over in the backroom with a hammer.

Fact is, it's good. If you dig the Aeon franchise, Charlize's long, lithe getaway sticks, or third-person action games, check it out.

Making a name for youself by climbing the game's Black List, aka series of bad-ass mo-fos you must beat, is good fun.

Making a name for youself by climbing the game's Black List, aka series of bad-ass mo-fos you must beat, is good fun.

Like this year's Philadelphia Eagles, this game is the quintessential example of a franchise taking a step in the wrong direction. Our advice: Run away.

The game is surprisingly rock-solid on the Xbox. The controls are on point. The game is full of well-crafted fight-or-flight moments. It's without a doubt one of the finest first-person shooters ever made.

Like this year's Philadelphia Eagles, this game is the quintessential example of a franchise taking a step in the wrong direction. Our advice: Run away.

Making a name for youself by climbing the game's Black List, aka series of bad-ass mo-fos you must beat, is good fun.

Like this year's Philadelphia Eagles, this game is the quintessential example of a franchise taking a step in the wrong direction. Our advice: Run away.

Making a name for youself by climbing the game's Black List, aka series of bad-ass mo-fos you must beat, is good fun.

The game looks terrific on the tiny screens. There's a nice mix of new and old school tracks. Making a Wi-fi connection is so simple, even Diddy Kong could do it (and he's Canadian!).

If there's any current genre in need of a Fight Night–style makeover, it's THQ's rasslin' line. In the words of the Undertaker: R.I.P., grappling games...at least for a little while. If you must, then rent.

Shockingly enough, is actually pretty damn good. Sure, it looks uglier than Ernest Borgnine in a tutu, and trying to use the controls is like operating the Space Shuttle while wearing oven mitts, but once you get the hang of it, beating the Stove Top stuffing out of agents is terrific fun.

Shockingly enough, is actually pretty damn good. Sure, it looks uglier than Ernest Borgnine in a tutu, and trying to use the controls is like operating the Space Shuttle while wearing oven mitts, but once you get the hang of it, beating the Stove Top stuffing out of agents is terrific fun.