And to top it all off, Lockdown features Lifetime channel–style scenes that do their damnedest to to make you think of your squad mates as real pals instead of the "meat shields" they really are.

Mindless hack-and-whack style gameplay stays hot thanks to interesting objectives. Spartan is constantly throwing new gameplay elements at you.

The irreverent, goofball sense of humor from the show is intact, which makes up for the sometimes iffy controls.

Elaborate levels and the multiple paths you can take to solve them go a long way in making you forget about the lack of narrative element.

At best, playing the game is like having someone shout in your ear for 15 hours straight. At worst, it's like getting a high colonic with balsamic vinegar.

The spicy, tangy combination of third-person action and real-time strategy is unlike anything we've played before.

A vibrant, eye-popping superhero disc that has more style, wit and compelling gameplay in its first 10 minutes than most games have in their entirety.

Everything from the official team rosters to the detailed fields and even to the smoke bombs set off in the grandstands at Wembley Stadium keep your head in the game.

After about 15 minutes of gameplay, our thumbs felt like Robert DeNiro in "Casino" had worked them over in the backroom with a hammer.

The game's nutty narrative would baffle Roger Corman, but the six-shootin' gameplay would make even Yosemite Sam giddy.

All in all, it seems like Activision has missed the boat. Instead of going the "Prince of Persia" route, taking a nostalgic title and darkening the action while beefing up the story, Lost Expedition wallows in mediocrity like a large, pink sow that uses words like mediocrity.

After two ass-kicking PS2 installments, the Guilty Gear fighting series has finally KO’d itself.

The irreverent, goofball sense of humor from the show is intact, which makes up for the sometimes iffy controls.

This unpretentious disc was cobbled together by a self-proclaimed "garage team" in the U.K., and is well worth your hard-earned quid.

The soundtrack, featuring James Brown and Strawberry Alarm Clock, keeps you going long after the Agent Orange has taken away your ability to feel.

Playing the game is like watching an episode of "Oz" while a priest performs an exorcism on your liver. And if you like your gore served up hot and fresh, you've come to the right place.

All in all, it seems like Activision has missed the boat. Instead of going the "Prince of Persia" route, taking a nostalgic title and darkening the action while beefing up the story, Lost Expedition wallows in mediocrity like a large, pink sow that uses words like mediocrity.

The tempo of the battle sometimes swings according to the level of each army's morale. Chip away at your enemy's self-esteem by ramming three feet of steel through their guts. Then tell your own troops to buck up. Try complimenting them on their weight loss.

Shockingly enough, is actually pretty damn good. Sure, it looks uglier than Ernest Borgnine in a tutu, and trying to use the controls is like operating the Space Shuttle while wearing oven mitts, but once you get the hang of it, beating the Stove Top stuffing out of agents is terrific fun.

A pleasant surprise. Yes, we were still creeping through bombed-out aircraft hangars and taking over bunkers brimming with Nazis, but we were enjoying ourselves for the first time in ages.

If you get three other players involved and a nice warm bottle of Mad Dog or a fifth of Ripple for the discerning 'neck, you’re looking at days of game play.

Mindless hack-and-whack style gameplay stays hot thanks to interesting objectives. Spartan is constantly throwing new gameplay elements at you.

Mindless hack-and-whack style gameplay stays hot thanks to interesting objectives. Spartan is constantly throwing new gameplay elements at you.

This is mindless, cartoony fun, like a cool breeze blowing through your video game collection.

A pleasant surprise. Yes, we were still creeping through bombed-out aircraft hangars and taking over bunkers brimming with Nazis, but we were enjoying ourselves for the first time in ages.

Watching our zombie army do our brain-eating dirty work for us was a gaming moment we won't soon forget.

If you get three other players involved and a nice warm bottle of Mad Dog or a fifth of Ripple for the discerning 'neck, you’re looking at days of game play.

The graphics are fantastic, particularly in the later stages, when some of the epic battle scenes are rivaled only by what goes on in your local trailer park.