Depending on how much time you spend searching each of the 11 single-player maps for hidden items, it should take you a couple of days.

Hollywood creature designer Stan Winston lends his psychotic imagination to all of the monstrosities that pop up in the game. Instead of coming from obvious spawning points, creatures emerge from nearly any surface. The technique effectively adds dread to normally benign environments we haven’t experienced since our days in the Boy Scouts.

Interestingly enough, EA has served up a baseball title that will keep you interested in hardball. Nuanced controls like the Pure Swing System let you toggle the left thumbstick of your controller to dig out low pitches, reach for a hanging curve or, in our case, just fan the air where you thought the ball should have appeared.

Nuanced controls like the Pure Swing System let you toggle the left thumbstick of your controller to dig out low pitches, reach for a hanging curve or, in our case, just fan the air where you thought the ball should have appeared.

Hollywood creature designer Stan Winston lends his psychotic imagination to all of the monstrosities that pop up in the game. Instead of coming from obvious spawning points, creatures emerge from nearly any surface. The technique effectively adds dread to normally benign environments we haven't experienced since our days in the Boy Scouts.

Nuanced controls like the Pure Swing System let you toggle the left thumbstick of your controller to dig out low pitches, reach for a hanging curve or, in our case, just fan the air where you thought the ball should have appeared.

The cut scenes nearly steal the show. They’re a little too good, really. Once you see Snake and his enemies in fully choreographed action, returning to the actual game seems a little clunky.

Nuanced controls like the Pure Swing System let you toggle the left thumbstick of your controller to dig out low pitches, reach for a hanging curve or, in our case, just fan the air where you thought the ball should have appeared.

What we really like about the game is that the unrelenting, merciless killing just feels right.

Getting the timing down on when to load up the front suspension for extra liftoff on jumps takes a few races, but it quickly becomes second nature. Unfortunately, the game isn’t very realistic when it comes to rider collisions.

The jaw-dropping graphics help. As do the weapons, power-ups and the scope of the game (15-plus levels, 40-50 hours of play to complete). But it's the fighting that really won us over.

Getting the timing down on when to load up the front suspension for extra liftoff on jumps takes a few races, but it quickly becomes second nature. Unfortunately, the game isn't very realistic when it comes to rider collisions.

The kids who take the short bus to school will learn to drive stick faster than you'll learn to gain even a rudimentary level of control over the Vertical Tank.

All in all, it seems like Activision has missed the boat. Instead of going the "Prince of Persia" route, taking a nostalgic title and darkening the action while beefing up the story, Lost Expedition wallows in mediocrity like a large, pink sow that uses words like mediocrity.

All in all, it seems like Activision has missed the boat. Instead of going the "Prince of Persia" route, taking a nostalgic title and darkening the action while beefing up the story, Lost Expedition wallows in mediocrity like a large, pink sow that uses words like mediocrity.

All in all, it seems like Activision has missed the boat. Instead of going the "Prince of Persia" route, taking a nostalgic title and darkening the action while beefing up the story, Lost Expedition wallows in mediocrity like a large, pink sow that uses words like mediocrity.

It’s decidedly low-tech, but pleasing in a visceral way. While many scenes play out on foot, there are plenty of vehicles to operate, from tanks and choppers to a Porsche Cayenne.

We can almost guarantee that you will not find another game that allows you to smite your enemies with a caramelized Peking duck.

A solid technical effort from Konami, but mainly only serious soccer fans will want to lace up their digital boots for this one.

It’s decidedly low-tech, but pleasing in a visceral way. While many scenes play out on foot, there are plenty of vehicles to operate, from tanks and choppers to a Porsche Cayenne.

With over 20 weapons and gadgets at your disposal, you can rappel up a wall or bludgeon an enemy into submission with a wine bottle. It’s decidedly low-tech, but pleasing in a visceral way.

The game play is fairly brisk and the obligatory cut scenes are brief and well rendered - it looks like a classic "Iron Man" comic rather than schlocky animation.

The only problem is that unlocking each of the available spacecrafts is sort of like ripping off your big toenails with a pair of pliers. Well within the realm of possibility, but in the end, it just doesn’t make much sense.

While it’s fun to watch the dwarf hacking away with his ax, the death spells cast by the necromancer make for far more enjoyable viewing.

If you pumped more than a week’s worth of quarters into the old "Ghouls n’ Ghosts" machine, you ought to add it to the collection.

While it's fun to watch the dwarf hacking away with his ax, the death spells cast by the necromancer make for far more enjoyable viewing.

There are dozens of dazzling tracks, and the play gets fast, manic and difficult, but somehow always retains a magically fun ingredient.

If you want to make the most of the game, you’ll have to walk through the entire qualification process. Since it’s governed by actual military rules, you’re looking at a good couple of days from boot camp to field operations.

No excuses, you’re gonna have to buy this. Unless you don’t own a PS2, in which case, get out of our Internet!