I'd be tempted to call the whole thing cartoonish, but that would be insulting to the real thing.

Doom may be by the numbers, with a roll call of colorful types systematically exterminated while The Rock entertains with cartoonish expressions and reactions (the closest the film comes to personality).

This is one of the most confusing, horribly written movies I've ever seen, and I'm the king of watching bad movies ... and liking them.

A credible action spectacular.

All processed sugar and artificial flavor, right down to the sticky but tasteless happy ending.

It’s a comedy, a romantic star vehicle, a thriller, a horror movie and a quasi-environmental parable that's calculated to appeal to all demographic groups. It's not enough of any one of these things to be particularly engaging.

Insipid, overcooked and dull.

Though it does present the facts of Susann's life, it skims them so quickly and with such glorious glee that we never get a sense of who this woman really was.

It's an original and rather clever premise, but first-time director Chris Koch doesn't do anything with it.

This is Epps' showcase. He can't cover all the film's flaws, but he'll sure gab your ear off trying.

This gory, ghoulishly funny horror goof is shameless fun in its own right.

What it doesn't have is a script that has anything original, cohesive, or, gasp -- funny -- to say.

A poorly written collection of comic-book movie cliches that offers nothing new to the genre, generates very little in the way of action thrills and plays like a self-important, humorless rip-off of "Kill Bill."

It's about as convincing as any other Arnie musclefest, but has a little too much resonance with real world events and ultimately comes off as insultingly simplistic.

A movie in which almost nothing works.

Since the expensive new movie version of the popular video game, Tomb Raider, is very true to its origins, it's a colossal bore.

An awkward and sometimes confused thing fraught with overwrought emotions and misguided ideals.

A preachy parable stylized with a touch of John Woo bullet ballet.

Most of Chasing Papi is a loud, frantic mess, a movie that wants to be a screwball farce but is simply farcical and screwy.

This week's excruciatingly dismal dating comedy. [8 March 1986]

Truly raunchy but it's more sweetly stupid and silly than anything.

As a director, Duchovny is in big trouble every frame of the way. His characters ring false, his scenes seem improperly motivated in a glaring way, and his distasteful obsession with imagery of unflushed cigarette butts bobbing in a toilet is beyond inexplicable.

Romano just doesn't have the stuff to bring off a role that requires a Jimmy Stewart or Tom Hanks. He's supposed to be overshadowed by his nemesis, of course, but Hackman chews him up and spits him out so effectively that the movie is glaringly lopsided.

Neither (Gooding nor Ulrich) has the distincitve spark of an action hero, and their Butch and Sundance repartee falls so consistently flat that you end up feeling a little embarrassed for them.

Cast and crew have a blast making a family movie that spoofs its James Bond-like premise, is jam-packed with action, sweaty-palm suspense and adventurous, high-tech fun effects, and yet never loses its at-the-core heart and sympathies.

Surprisingly, "North" fails most miserably on the level of children's parable. It has no solid emotional core to which an audience can relate: It doesn't touch the heart or come close to communicating a moral. It's just silly and trite and a colossal waste of time. [22 Jul 1994]

A family-friendly comedy with some gut-shaking chuckles and a heartwarming message. Sadly, it's also a fine example of what happens when talented people settle for utter mediocrity.

As far as these things go, the film's violence is not outrageously excessive.