The film is like watching Ozzy Osbourne bite the head off a rubber bat -- it's only almost heinous.

Nothing really works here, and nobody seems to have put in a huge amount of effort, except maybe the marketing department -- there are many product placements.

A Family Affair never even makes the case as to why these people should be together.

Noe isn't a graceful filmmaker. He wants to traumatize his audience, barnstorm us, make us pay in anxiety and sweat and scorched nerves for the ugly truths he wants us to swallow.

The movie reveals itself as not merely dull, but pointless.

The chief problem with Your Highness is its lack of imagination - its misuse and overuse of language and visual riffs that are only marginally amusing at best.

It looks like an exploding art project - but fails to capture the books' childlike voice and charm.

Sadly, fun is a rare element on Pandora, as “Borderlands” trudges through its treasure hunt scenario and endless ripoffs of better franchises from “Lethal Weapon” to “Star Wars.” It makes you want to go home and blow up your Playstation.

Goes nowhere.

Has to go down as a failed comedy. It's just not enough of a comedy.

This is how bad Table 19 gets: At a certain point in the movie, there is absolutely no reason that any of the characters would remain at the wedding or anywhere near it. So the movie devises a false reason to keep them in the general vicinity.

Its single biggest failing - an affront to Lewis Carroll and the charms of nonsense literature - is that it makes sense.

Credit the director for one thing. He could have stretched it to three hours, but he gets in and out of this mess in less than two.

Less an original product than a shoddy tribute to other mediocre cop movies.

With most movies that fail, the fault can be ascribed to carelessness or lack or inspiration or cynicism. But Chelsea Walls, directed by actor Ethan Hawke, is clearly a labor of love.

Coppola has no trouble convincing viewers that Marie Antoinette is an interesting historical subject, but there's a big distance between that and creating a fascinating personality or fashioning a compelling narrative.

Encino Man is so puerile and sophomoric that, by comparison, ''Fast Times at Ridgemont High'' is ''Our Town,'' and ''Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure'' is ''Gulliver's Travels.'' For that matter, Pauly Shore makes Wayne and Garth, the two cable TV rec-room rockers of ''Wayne's World'' fame, seem like they belong at the Algonquin Hotel round table. [22 May 1992, p.D3]

There should be drama here, but everything falls as flat as the withered valley floor. Not all is lost: The cinematography and special effects are quite competent. The script just leaves us thirsty for more.

Heartfelt but interminable movie.

The Nut Job 2 isn’t maddening like “Smurfs 2,” where you continue to hate yourself years later for spending the money. It’s an adequate babysitter that completely fails to inspire.

It’s so uncritical of its subject that it has the unintended effect of undermining its mission, which appears to be recruiting new devotees of the faith.

Here Balasko, best known as a comedian, is particularly satisfying. But the reward is too small on the investment, and the film's resolution is downright irritating - not just a waste of time, but a waste of time with attitude.

While "Saw" and "Saw II" were pretty good splatter films hampered by spectacularly unbelievable endings, Saw III is annoying for almost the duration of the movie.

Scream 7 is anything but cutting edge.

Worst of all, in promoting its hero's eccentric journey as a voyage of healing, the movie replaces emotional precision and intellectual honesty with syrupy sincerity and insistence. It turns boring and cute and begs us to love it.

Almost everything about the movie lands with an emphatic, preordained thud.

Only in the movie business could someone sell such shoddy merchandise and expect people to buy it. If The Hunger Games: Mockingjay — Part 1 were an appliance, it would be a broken toaster that people would toss in the garbage. Except that analogy is too kind, in that “Mockingjay” would be half a toaster.

Like Disney’s tepid 2019 live-action remake of “The Lion King,” it’s virtually a beat-by-beat remake of the original, but without the original’s energy and movement.