Transparently not finished. [June 2010, p.80]

By peddling this sort of single-minded crud to children EA are creating a new generation of absolute morons who won't be able to think one step ahead of themselves. [May 2008, p.86]

At best, this DLC is thoughtless, unoriginal and for those who simply must have two extra skill points. At worst, it's a waste of time and money, and poor form by Gearbox. [Apr 2010, p.88]

The puzzles are the main problem. [May 2010, p.90]

The only things you'll get out of Stormrise are a headache and a stress-related heart attack from trying to select a unit. [June 2009, p.66]

Championing pre-rendered backgrounds in this day and age immediately makes Neverend feel dated, and the gameplay does little to lift that 'samey' feeling. Despite its decent character models and combat system, there are plenty of other RPGs far more worthy of your time.

Granted, there's potential aplenty here, but with AI this idiotic, Legion Arena can only go down as a massively missed opportunity, more fit for the glue factory than the glories of war. Shame really.

Sadly, ten years on, Hospital Tycoon has added nothing new to "Theme Hospital's" stellar gameplay and ends up feeling, a bit like its subject, cold and clinical. [Aug 2007, p.75]

Massively ambitious, massively unplayable. [Sept 2007, p.74]

Sadly, much of the novelty wore off soon after and the rest of the game left me, just like many in the film, dead in the water.

Despite it being more intuitive than the Combat Mission games, Africa 1943 is no picnic. [May 2010, p.88]

Hateful game. [Sept 2008, p.60]

Avoid. [Nov 2008, p.75]

It's still ploddingly adequate in an unsurprising way, but the faults are just too many. [Sept 2006, p.72]

If you enjoy below average games or like adventures where the voices cut out halfway through every single sentence, then this one is for you. [Oct 2009, p.72]

A hollow, mind-numbingly dull MMORPG grind that stretches the boundaries of good taste and sensible design decisions.

Humour doesn't work. [June 2010, p.86]

The bottom line is that these events, while fairly dreary in reality, simply have no place in a game. For all its production values and official licence, ultimately you'd have a more interactive experience playing with a yoyo while watching the Winter Olympics on the telly.

Peacekeeper. [Oct 2007, p.75]

Lumbering and zombified. [Aug 2010, p.89]

Frustrating controls. [July 2009, p.70]

You really would be better off buying The Sims 2 and its Pets expansion though, and making up your own stories in your head. [Sept 2007, p.82]

I can't deplore enough how little story there is. [Apr 2009, p.66]

For anyone who hasn't already got a helicopter license though, playing Enemy Engaged 2 is about as much fun as eating a pair of sheep's testicles. Yum. [Sept 2007, p.84]

LOTR deserves a better action game than this, and with the rich source material available to them, Pandemic and EA should be ashamed of themselves for unleashing this on the general public - even if we know it'll go straight to the top of the charts regardless. [Apr 2009, p.52]

MKA's unresponsiveness and emptiness gives it the air of an MMO that was canned and crammed into a single-player format, or was designed for the soloing MMO player. [Jan 2007, p.82]

Everything about it feels floaty and disconnected, slowing down time makes you feel really sluggish and inaccurate, and you can forget about hitting anything while driving as your crosshair is jerked about rudely like a pogo-stick at a sexy bikini photoshoot. [Dec 2006, p.80]

The glass isn't 'half empty,' it isn't even 'not full.' It's a soundless, hateful asphyxiating void. [Oct 2007, p.74]

You can download content of similar or even better quality for free off the internet. Sorry guys, but we don't appreciate the thought.

Its nauseating, greased-pig feel makes it devoid of fun and vlaue. [Sept 2008, p.68]

When you consider that the game is far too ugly to be shown on an unforgiving monitor - cel-shaded Ultimate Spider-Man looked infinitely better - and that it asks for an unjustifiable 6GB of HD space, and that we couldn't get more than 30 frames-a-second out of a fairly hot PC... Well, it doesn't seem like the best way to spend £30. Our advice would be to avoid the PC version of Spider-Man 3 like a spunk-filled bowler hat.

Awkward, clumsy, and unpolished. [Sept 2007, p.85]

Rarely have I come across a set of RTS missions as mercilessly unforgiving as these. [Sept 2008, p.72]

This game is clever, deep, multifacted and a strategy nerd's wet dream. It's just a shame that it all comes at the expense of being very, very boring as well. [Dec 2007, p.84]

The levels are uninteresting, the enemies unsatisfying, and the story non-existent. [Aug 2009, p.76]

It's mostly bland, somewhat interactive and slightly confusing. An improvement, then. [Oct 2007, p.75]

A lazy game that makes no effort to be atmospheric or fun, leaving only a husk of ideas that could have, potentially, been fun. [Apr 2008, p.76]

While some elements are playable and, occasionally, fun, this mixture of Fisher-Price "Theme Park" and a bunch of Flash-esque minigames isn't recommendable in the slightest. [Jan 2008, p.73]

The problem's with the lack of inspiration or effort. [Christmas 2006, p.81]

The game is tedious from start to end. [Sept 2009, p.74]

This really is a game for completists only. [May 2010, p.88]

With some ropey PC controls, SAW's something of a gory stinkpot. [Apr 2010, p.90]

As fun as malaria. [Christmas 2007, p.74]

A headache. [Feb 2008, p.88]

It's a bit shit...Dialogue is laughably bad. [Christmas 2006, p.94]

An inferior, dated FPS mess, a poor man's "Quake III" that borrows heavily from the illustrious classic and copies it with shocking ineptitude. [Apr 2006, p.80]

Awful on-foot controls. [July 2009, p.72]

A very lacklustre package. [Sept 2006, p.72]

Phantasy Star Universe is nothing more than the laggy, repetitive tranvestite cousin of "Zelda." Avoid this like a Paris-Hilton-borne strain of bird flu. [Feb 2007, p.78]

Patently unrecommendable. [July 2008, p.87]

Tedious missions. [June 2010, p.88]

Matters are made worse by the pre-2003 3D models, the atrocious voice acting, and the shocking writing. [Sept 2008, p.77]

The turn-based action is a mixture of crippling boredom, mild frustration and a mild sensation of imminent doom - based on a huge, hexagonal board-game style map with gigantic pawns that you control scattered across it. [Apr 2008, p.77]

Controlling the horse is a rather troublesome thing on the keyboard, and there's no option to use a gamepad. [Mar 2008, p.82]

It's so lazily developed, so utterly devoid of creativity and verve, that it's not even worth giving half a chance. [Jan 2008, p.84]

There are bigger, better and cheaper RPGs out there. [Jan 2008, p.87]

Ridiculously short. [Mar 2010, p.76]

If you absolutely must play this game, and the wretched commercial system that chugged out this idiot child hasn't put you off the whole sorry shebang, then get a console version. Please don't buy this. [Oct 2006, p.74]

It's for kids and that's fine. But children deserve better. Get them a version they can actually control. Better still, get your beloved sprogs a game that won't decay their minds through dumb repetition. [June 2007, p.82]

Food poisoning. [Dec 2007, p.81]

If you want something to put on the box, Mr. Marketing Man, try this: "This is so bad, it is like beating old ladies to death with hammers." [May 2009, p.77]

It's the least fun I've had since I had a catheter fitted during a spell in the hospital. [May 2008, p.82]

I honestly feel like I should donate some money to charity after having paid for such a nasty little swindle of a game. [Mar 2008, p.76]

It's just a dull succession of (il)logic puzzles, stuck on an ugly, incomprehensible hub. [Dec 2007, p.80]

Safe and very sorry. [July 2007, p.77]

Bad everything. [Feb 2010, p.78]

Paying money for something like this shameless and undercooked feels like shaking the hand of the guy who's shagging your wife. [May 2007, p.76]

Even at its bargain price, MOB is frankly appalling. [July 2009, p.73]

Clutch isn't worth the money. [Nov 2009, p.77]

Any sense of believability is quickly shattered the moment you shoot an enemy. The gargling that emerges from your TV sounds as though it was obtained by someone with gastroenteritis taping a mic to the inside of their toilet.

Unexciting...Unrewarding...Uninteresting... Ungood. [Aug 2007, p.82]

The level of professionalism in this game can be summed up by the fact that they haven't even bothered to translate all the text. [Oct 2008, p.73]

This game is badly made and overwhelmingly bleak, and while the original F.E.A.R. still exists, there's absolutely no way I could ever recommend anybody buy this, even if you're on fire and this game is a bucket of water. [Jan 2008, p.80]

Refuse to accept a game with such little creative effort put into it and vote with your wallets. [Feb 2010, p.79]

It's too hard to be any fun. Not hard in a challenging way - more in a stupid, dull way that has EASY opponents refusing to shoot, and HARD opponents taking perfect cover and sniping you from the moon. [July 2007, p.84]

The maps are boring, units weedy, AI absent, trooper non-responsive, graphics dire, sound effects pathetic, music repetitive, resource gathering system incomprehensible, and the storyline, as mentioned, is woeful. [Aug 2009, p.75]

Combat though, is miserable. [Aug 2008, p.73]

The whole thing is an abomination. [Aug 2009, p.73]

Plays a bit like "Psychonauts," but lacks any and all of that game's wonderful charms. [July 2009, p.76]

Boasts a horribly uninteresting storyline, mundane point-and-click tasks and blindingly dire voice-acting. [Aug 2006, p.83]

A general lack of polish that makes me wonder if NovaLogic even care about the games they make any more. [Dec 2009, p.74]

The menus are too awkward - selecting a betting amount is fiddly beyond reason - and there's too much competition out there for Stacked to distinguish itself as anything other than one of the ugly cliches from its own character selection menu. [June 2007, p.74]

SunAge is a terrible RTS, lacking definition, originality, or fun, wrapped in a half-arsed story. Don't even think about it. [Mar 2008, p.82]

I have considered the benefits and cost of this pack, and settled on a representative numberical value. [Sept 2008, p.73]

Sadly, once the script stops, the game quickly becomes a joyless chore. [May 2006, p.90]

A massive pile of crap. [Feb 2007, p.80]

A distinctly shoddy game - iffy controls, rubbish bear fights, dull levels and gameplay obsessed with balancing, jumping and the most inane rhythm action ever devised. [Mar 2008, p.84]

Make no mistake, this game is two oversized coal sacks of crap - but The Mark has a redeeming hilarity. [Apr 2007, p.68]

Horrifically dated graphics, a sparse online population, tedious gameplay, and unfathomable online interface and a lack of progressive challenge. [Sept 2007, p.75]

Aaaaaaagh! [Oct 2009, p.72]

An unpolished, bland mess of a game that doesn't deserve a single megabyte of your hard disk space...It ends up looking like shit as well as playing like it. [Mar 2007, p.68]

Happy Tree Friends: False Alarm makes everyone behind it look like absolute bastards. [Oct 2008, p.69]

There's really no reason you'd want to play this, unless you like looking at the pert buttocks of a young girl while clicking the mouse button a thousand times a minute. [June 2009, p.74]

If you must have some Gobliiins action, just get the originals. This one should never have made it into the public domain. [July 2009, p.77]

This is a marketing bullet, heading straight for the impressionable brains of your child/wife/mother/effeminate brother (delete as applicable) - and possibly even your own pocket. Avoid it. [Aug 2006, p.77]

Painful in so many ways. [Jan 2010, p.74]

Smells like teen sh.t. [Feb 2008, p.88]

An insult to both fans, and the creators of the show, and serves as a lesson for developers on how not to treat licensed material. [Feb 2008, p.78]