An awful port of a dismal console game. Buying this would be a crime-in-itself. [July 2005, p.98]

It's as much fun as cycling up the wrong side of the M5. [Sept 2008, p.115]

We can't think of a time throughout the history of the PC when this might have been considered a well-executed title. [Christmas 2006, p.92]

Despite aspirations to intelligence, this is comfortably one of the dumbest first-person shooters we’ve ever come across. The FPS action is stilted, the RPG elements make you want to rip your own still-beating heart out, and the main character sounds a lot like Duke Nukem’s halfwit brother.

There is little new here that would make you choose this over the demonstrably superior games from Creative Assembly. [July 2007, p.72]

Messy, clumsy, and deeply unsatisfying beat-'em-up combat. Surpised? Catwoman is a poorly made tie-in game for a rubbish movie. Someone find me a bag and a brick. [Oct 2004, p.96]

More spit than polish. [Sept 2005, p.98]

If you were hoping, like I was, for some old fashioned, arcade dogfighting action, then look elsewhere. [Sept 2007, p.63]

Stunningly terrible. [Jan 2008, p.72]

It wants to be like the classic survival-horror games of old, and to be fair it does feel like it's at least a decade out of date and being played on a 386. [July 2010, p.101]

It makes Doom 3 look like a masterpiece. [Christmas 2009, p.94]

A low-tech and rather uninspiring 2D RTS. [Mar 2008, p.108]

It's just a deeply undeveloped game. [Aug 2004, p.90]

Another dreary RTS to avoid. Ho hum. [July 2006, p.102]

Slightly fun, but only in the most stupid definition of that word. [Sept 2008, p.115]

One of the most incompetent strategy games of recent times. [May 2005, p.104]

A great idea that's failed because of execution. [May 2009, p.96]

Generic online gaming with a single, barely attainable good idea. [Christmas 2006, p.100]

A truly spectacular failure. Long may it live in infamy. [May 2005, p.105]

Epic, steampunk fail. [Aug 2009, p.96]

You're left with Commodore-era finger bruises and PS2-quality graphics, and you don't even get the full complement of Olympic sports. Rubbish. [Christmas 2004, p.122]

A huge, horrible, gut-wrenching car crash, with blood-soaked teddy bears. [June 2005, p.100]

There are a million and one better shooters out there. [Dec 2006, p.118]

Combine all of this with shocking AI, unfair combat and limited ammo, and you're looking at a veritable festival of the mediocre. [June 2005, p.101]

Fill your house with treacle and grenades instead. That's actually more fun. [Sept 2005, p.102]

A perfect storm of cynical derivative design and slipshod implementation. [June 2008, p.102]

The usual amateurish nonsense. [May 2006, p.90]

The driving model is so bad, it makes you wonder if anyone involved has ever been in a car. [Sept 2008, p.117]

So bog-standard it's positively peaty, and more buggy than a pram warehouse. [July 2008, p.113]

It's hideous. The graphics are atrocious, the controls are ridiculous, and missions consist of running around the blocky levels, firing wildly until random chance results in you killing everybody. [Oct 2004, p.100]

For a fiver, it's not too bad - a little different, at least. But that's all. [Sept 2008, p.116]

The only thing you'll be smashing if you buy this game is the area surrounding your PC. It really is truly offensive. [Sept 2008, p.114]

Mistmare’s slow pace and dependency on dialogue steals the thunder from many of its fantasy elements.

A PS2 port, when there's an Xbox 360 version? This is a dreadful example of shameless corner cutting and an awful game. [Aug 2008, p.107]

The frustration of RTS interrupting RPG is maddening beyond belief, but you won't understand what's going on anyway, so it's not worth the worry. [Christmas 2005, p.102]

Drivel. [Mar 2007, p.76]

A sim of Arnie’s election campaign would be more entertaining.

There's so much wrong here, from the Matrix rip-off storyline and painful attempts at imitating "Deus Ex," to the lack of textures and dull levels. [July 2006, p.102]

With too much emphasis on the factory insteady of the beauty, this is a game that really is skin-deep. [Sept 2008, p.117]

This game is a shameful dismantling of an iconic (though possibly equally shameful) gaming figure. [June 2009, p.101]

All the thrill of the hunt, without the thrill or hunt. [March 2005, p.113]

Cheap, tired and dull. Avoid it and the inevitable fourth sequel. [Nov 2004]

Shiny, shallow, and sadly unremarkable. [May 2005, p.105]

Dull, dated, and deeply dim-witted. Let's snore together. [Dec 2004, p.104]

Fascinating, infinite possibilities, but it's rough around the edges. [Feb 2005, p.84]

Cheap, tired and dull. Avoid it, and the inevitable fourth sequel. [Nov 2004, p.103]

Frantic platforming with a whimsical bent. [Nov 2006, p.104]

It's a gaming experience like no other... A brilliant content-heavy update for an already excellent game. [Feb 2005, p.88]

To damn it with faint praise, this is the world's greatest fire-fighting RTS. [May 2005, p.99]

Plus you have to "insert a coin" each time you play. How warm and fuzzy is that? Enjoy. [June 2006, p.97]

It's a one-trick pony, sure, but at least it's innovative and fun...Fun, but neat physics offset drab visuals. [Sept 2006, p.104]

Sonic Riders resembles what I can only imagine Keith Richards' worst nightmares are like, but rendered in 1999-qualitiy Playstation-o-vision. What's more, if you have an ATI card, it's framerate is slower than evolution itself. [June 2007, p.64]

Hard as nails, and cute as kittens. [Oct 2006, p.102]

Just when ragdoll was becoming an irritant for gaming, Toribash swoops in to demonstrate why it's the best thing since shaded pixels. [Mar 2007, p.78]

It does what it does well, but tennis sim it ain't. [May 2007, p.67]

Not pretty or that clever, but tykes may find this amusing for a few hours if they're not already hooked up to "The Sims." [July 2008, p.113]

Fun while it lasts, but inevitably, nowhere near as funky as the life your character is supposed to be leading. [Oct 2007, p.65]

Not the longest of games, but one of hte first truly compelling physics puzzlers. [Nov 2007, p.56]

It's the kind of game that makes "FlatOut 2" look state of the art. [Oct 2008, p.115]

Exciting as this may sound, it's based on design and an engine that conspire to make Hunting Unlimited 2008 uniformly atrocious, with dull footprint-following, animals often running tight circles around you, and the awful voice over chap talking about how 'pumped' he is that he shot something in the head. [Apr 2008, p.112]

When you get online, you'll relise how internationally popular this game is. [July 2008, p.111]

One of the worst adventures I've ever played. [Sept 2008, p.116]

Sadly, those stand-out courses occur far too infrequently. [Apr 2009, p.98]

It's not quite challenging enough to make it a game that really does anything new, but it is delightfully presented. [Mar 2010, p.94]