The payback in Law Abiding Citizen doesn't have a cathartic kick, because the revenge is so extreme it's horrifying.

A breezy pleasure.

You, too, will roll your eyes at the film's lazy script, which is littered with gags pilfered from earlier movies and cartoons. In one scene, a loose boulder goes crashing down on Spade and Farley's mountain retreat. Heck, even Wile E. Coyote knew better than to build his house on the side of a cliff. [5 Feb 1996, p.4C]

A surprisingly straightforward romp in slasher-flick cliches, Friday the 13th is replete with gee-whiz gore, gratuitous sex and nudity and party-loving teens with a penchant for ending up on the wrong end of a pick ax.

In Celtic Pride, a comedy about sports fanaticism, two obsessive basketball followers want to see the underdog Boston Celtics win the NBA championship so badly that they kidnap the star player from the opposing team to make him miss the deciding game...Instead, they should've kidnapped the screenwriter and made him write a better movie. Celtic Pride is jaw-droppingly bad, a comedy so bereft of anything remotely humorous that you find yourself watching the extras in the background, desperately searching for something resembling entertainment. [19 Apr 1996, p.6G]

Year One is not really THAT bad and not ENTIRELY without laughs.

Besides the clever name and some striking images from director Dwight H. Little, the only other entertaining bits in Halloween 4 come from Donald Pleasence. [29 Oct 1988, p.C4]

The first film was tedious in the extreme; Monsters Unleashed, though it feels way too long and padded, it shows at least brief flashes of imagination.

Jingle All the Way is at its best when piling on the slapstick, which director Brian Levant ( The Flintstones ) wisely does often. [22 Nov 1996, p.6G]

Estevez is a self-important performer and his cockiness mutes most of the movie's laughs. If not for Sheen, a much more appealing comic actor than his brother, Men at Work would hardly be palatable. [29 Aug 1990, p.D5]

While there are some genuinely creepy moments, it never truly ends up as more than an average "X-Files" episode.

With their flair for wretched excess, Damiani and screenwriter Tommy Lee Wallace make it hard to bear Amityville II in good humor. [28 Sep 1982, p.D6]

May prove too dark to make the list of Schwarzenegger's biggest hits. But the movie suggests the actor still has a lot to offer -- and he's willing to take some chances, too. Welcome back, Arnold.

I can honestly think of no reason why anyone would want to see Testosterone apart from the rumor that the film contains a full-frontal shot of Antonio Sabato Jr. naked.

It has virtually nothing in common with the charming book written by the Gilbreths about their turn-of-the-century family and everything to do with making money on DVD rentals.

Director Deran Sarafian and cinematographer Russell Carpenter give Death Warrant a great gloomy feel and know how how to use extreme close-ups as effective eye candy. But candy is about all we get. [18 Sep 1990, p.C3]

You don't go into a movie called Ninja Assassin expecting a hell of a lot, but this shockingly disjointed and relentlessly dull picture can't even deliver the martial-arts kick its title so plainly promises.

An overly convoluted, tiresome mystery that exists primarily to antagonize the audience, Basic consists almost entirely of dense exposition, then concludes by laughing at anyone who tried to pay attention.

Just plain bad. Really, really bad.

Mann deserves credit for trying new stuff, of course; The Keep is nothing if not ambitious. But it isn't anything more, either. [20 Dec 1983, p.D5]

It's all as foolish as can be, and tedious in the bargain. The Clan of the Cave Bear acts as a parody of the earlier, more accomplished Quest for Fire, but since even that film was funny despite itself, this is not much of an accomplishment. On the evidence, it is hard to tell which way Hannah, who was Ron Howard's mermaid in Splash, is traveling on the old evolutionary ladder. [27 Man 1986, p.C6]

Essentially a rip-off of "Apocalypto" for audience members too young or squeamish to endure graphic human sacrifice and jaguar face-eating.

Miami Vice producer Michael Mann is the executive producer of this movie. Paul Michael Glaser, who has directed several episodes of that show, is at the helm on this film. As a result, that Vice feeling is everywhere in Band: plot and character development yielding to scenic Miami, violence and music. [15 Apr 1986, p.B4]

There are so many romantic-comedy cliches crammed into Valentine's Day that watching it feels like surfing through the channels of an all-chick-flick cable service.

What you'll remember most are a pretty face and the hot and steamy sex scenes. That is not enough.

It's fun to watch the stocky, scowling Ice Cube and skinny, jittery Epps play off each other; they click on screen.

A sentimental romantic thriller. But it’s a well-made sentimental romantic thriller, and that makes all the difference.

It's not much, but it isn't awful, either, provided you're interested in this sort of thing to begin with.