A curiously inert and talky action picture about good-looking mutants on the run from bad (but equally good-looking) ones, Push wastes a decent idea and stylish direction on a script that's much more Ingmar Bergman than Stan Lee.

When The Guardian isn't goofy, it's as dull as plywood and just as thin. [01 May 1990, p.C4]

Universal Soldier, for all its sound and fury, isn't much fun. [15 July 1992, p.E5]

Hershey isn't bad in the role of the victim; she looks durable and acts like a survivor. And Furie does throw in a couple of nifty scares between the rapes, which are gratuitous and disturbing. The rest of the film is by-the-numbers B-movie thriller. [09 Feb 1983, p.D6]

This film, directed by Curb Your Enthusiasm's Robert Weide, makes an entertaining companion piece to his book.

Born American was made in Finland, a first feature by two Finnish directors. Their government reportedly stopped financing the project in mid-production and eventually disowned it. The guess here is that the reason for this was not so much fear of offending the Great Red Neighbor as it was simple embarrassment. [01 Sep 1986, p.D5]

Such a bad movie that its luckiest viewers will be seated next to one of those ignorant pinheads who talk throughout the show.

Masters of the Universe is an enjoyable escape, borrowing rather successfully from E.T., Star Wars and Back to the Future. [17 Aug 1987, p.C5]

A spectacularly mediocre movie.

Stealth is basically the kind of movie a 13-year-old boy given an infinite budget and creative freedom might cook up between Xbox games.

The best stuff in Jumper comes early, while the movie is still busy explaining its scenario. It's only when all the pieces are in place and the story actually kicks in that things start to fall apart, and quickly.

If only someone had recognized the inherent vileness of the premise, we might not have been subjected to this hideous Rumor at all.

We're subjected to 80 minutes of butt- kicking -- most of it contrived and flatly staged -- in Speakman's embarrassing debut, The Perfect Weapon. [19 Mar 1991, p.C5]

At least the special effects in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen are remarkable: You never tire of the endless variations of robots Bay and his computer-generated effects crew come up with.

The movie still manages to unearth laughs, some of them pretty big, especially once Shanté's program is under way.

The best thing you can say about Scooby-Doo is that Matthew Lillard makes a really, really good Shaggy.

Its frights are not that chilling or original, its secrets more run-of-the-mill than astounding.

In the end, for all its auto-erotic flair, Gone in 60 Seconds is missing a money shot.

The film is well-scrubbed of anything resembling sexuality, more a nonthreatening fairy tale than the romantic drama it aims to be. Its appeal flies straight to the hearts of 13-year-old girls.

The music is of course majestic, blending well with a loving cinematography.

McCarthy wanders around this movie like he's lost. You'll suffer the same fate in Kansas. [23 Sep 1988, p.E5]

An invasion of the body snatchers is preferable to realizing that the true horror perpetrated here is not on the characters but on the audience.

An annoying, tedious little film.

For all its tangle of characters and plot twists, Van Helsing isn't the slightest bit involving, and more than once (especially whenever Beckinsale is onscreen), it is unintentionally hilarious. But it's the rare kind of movie where the badness just adds to the fun.

The most remarkable failure of the film is that the principals don't seem even to like each other very much, despite their habit of facing the future arm in arm. There's a lot of cute flesh up on the screen, signifying nothing. [28 June 1985, p.D1]

A horror/sci-fi/action mishmash that aims to be the kind of brainless timekiller once used to round out the bottom of a double bill at the drive-in.

The movie's only value is in unwittingly defining more clearly how played out the whole transgressing-boundaries-as-art thing has become.

Does the movie bear any relation to the video game? Not much. Do the dinosaur effects steal Jurassic Park's thunder? Keep dreaming. Will kids want to see it? Depends on how big Nintendo fans they are. Super Mario Bros. is like watching somebody else play a video game: It's flashy, colorful and wholly uninvolving. [29 May 1993, p.5]