Garbage.

Kawasaki Quad Bikes is an example of branding at its most obvious coupled with poor attention to the basics.

Though largely inoffensive in its sloppiness, Alvin and the Chipmunks amounts to a forgettable budget title priced like a premium release this holiday season - as if you needed another reason to abstain from it.

It's crap. It’s like Crazy Taxi’s-not-quite-ready-to-hang-with-the-grown-ups little brother, complete with bad hair and pimples.

Games this low-rent and unapologetically busted only come around a few times a year, but don't bother savoring this rare experience - Cruis'n is undoubtedly the worst Wii racer to date, and another blight on a franchise that has long suffered in home conversions.

With an eye toward putting on some beer goggles to make the game better, we turned to the bottle. Ping Cup has the potential to be a decent drinking game but, again, the controls were mixed.

You would think a game in which you can pimp-slap a moth as a 40ft-tall garbage monster couldn’t possibly be that bad. You would, however, be wrong.

The Fight: Lights Out has very few redeeming qualities, none of which involve playing it, and it should be avoided at all costs. Don't play this game.

We struggled to find the punch line in this abomination of half-assed execution and complete disregard for modern gameplay innovations.

All signs point to Jumper: Griffin's Story being a by-the-numbers, quickly assembled cash-in, but selecting poor, early-gen original Xbox brawlers as the template was a grave mistake. Those games at least made us chuckle; Jumper only makes us wince.

There is nothing inside Fighters Uncaged that makes it worthy of your money or your time. The only other plus to playing this title is the extreme exercise you receive due to over-compensating for the game's inaccuracy.

Screwjumper is another one of those Live Arcade games that feels more like it should be a bonus mission in a more fully-realized title. And not a very good bonus mission, at that.

If they had translated the aura of the film through more creative means in the actual gameplay and story, like they did with the art, instead of just recycling old dialogue and tossing in generic mini-games, Napoleon Dynamite: The Game might have been more of a success. As it is, however, we recommend staying far, far away.

Showtime Championship Boxing would be a lousy looker two console generations ago; in 2008 it’s nothing short of a Mike Tyson-biting-ears-level embarrassment...Every aspect of Showtime Championship Boxing is baffling.

This game might be worth a few bucks on your iPhone, but not forty bucks on your 3DS. This title is so easy, uncomplicated, and unexciting that we can't recommend it for anyone.

Rugby 15 isn’t just a disappointment; it’s significantly worse than its forebears. The simple stuff is over-complicated, and the basic tenets of Rugby Union are wrong. A nightmare vision of sporting hell.

If you can ignore the horrendous graphics, we defy you to overlook the technical flaws.

If the GameCube could handle Metroid Prime's environments and beasties so beautifully, there's no reason the superior Wii can't deliver a first-person shooter worth remembering. Unfortunately, Far Cry Vegeance sure as hell isn't it.

It's impossible to recommend Venetica to anyone when there are so many other better action-RPGs out there. You might be tempted to pick it up because it's only forty dollars, but don't do it... unless you've already played every other RPG on the market.

It's impossible to recommend Venetica to anyone when there are so many other better action-RPGs out there. You might be tempted to pick it up because it's only forty dollars, but don't do it... unless you've already played every other RPG on the market.

Can’t Sega even be bothered to finish making the game before trying to pawn it off on us? Placeholder graphics, unfinished textures and sloppy physics are just a few of the sadistic treats this game has to offer - and the suck doesn’t stop there.

Maybe it's a good thing that there's no online play - it's best to keep these ugly player models, awkward animations and irritatingly short sound loops away from the internet, where they might breed and multiply.

You'd think slamming shells the size of watermelons into heavily armed rolling metal fortresses would be hard to botch, but Tank Beat digs a design rut too deep for even the most ardent artillery lover to climb out of.

The minigames don't play any better with real-world opponents and the few games available for single-cart download play are not worth sharing.

What you get from this DS disaster instead, is a headache without even half the heart of the novel.

This may sound like a lot of customization, but every gameplay element is embarrassingly shallow.

Rugby 18 is a dire simulation of the sport, with a paper-thin selection of modes, and relentlessly poor presentation.

Basically, they're hoping Wii owners will pay full price for the same poorly contrived mash-up of driving and minigames that's been collecting dust in the PS2, PSP, and Xbox 360 bargain bins for a while now.

It tries to blend the ideas of its predecessor with arcade sensibilities, and the outcome is a painful punch to the face you have to pay for.

Data Design must be stopped. Do not give them any more money. They are the equivalent of those movie studios that produce straight to DVD knockoffs of blockbusters in a cynical, lazy attempt to swindle cash from uninformed customers.

It's frustrating, derivative, at times nearly unplayable, and frustrating.

It's not worth one hour of your time. We couldn't even recommend this game to the most enthusiastic of JRPG fans. The story is a joke, the combat is uninspired, the quests are utterly banal and the characters are about as likeable as deep sea anglerfishes.

Yes, Yaris is a free game. But that shouldn't be an excuse to put almost zero effort into the whole thing. Unfortunately, there are actually no redeeming qualities to Yaris.

Both an insult to gamers and a step backward for the Kinect. We didn't even get to mentioning the recycled dialogue and animations, the horrendous texture popping, or the out-of-sync subtitles. And a $50 asking price? Must... not... smash... keyboard.

Unfortunately, GamesRadar's editorial staff doesn't yet acknowledge the Real Time Conflict genre, so Shogun Empires had to be scored according to the narrow standards of fun, successful strategy games.

It’s either: awful, unfinished, broken and completely unworthy of your time and attention.

March of the Penguins is a horrendous mess of a game, horrible to play in every way, short of severing your hands at the wrists and squirting lemon on the stumps.

This is the absolute nadir of the series. Harry Potter has finally devolved into a total cash-in and we can't score it low enough. Honestly, if you're a fan of the movies, avoid this and just go to the theater. Don't spoil the end for yourself with this half-baked mess.

This game should be, at most, a ten dollar download. It would feel even more appropriate at around the fifty cent mark, peddled by a trench-coated hobo in front of a sketchy movie theatre. At forty bucks, it's difficult to imagine any human being, living or dead, getting an appropriate amount of value out of it.