With apologies to The Little Mermaid, perhaps third-person shooters aren't one of those things that's "much better, down where it's wetter, under the sea."

As congenial as it is, there's absolutely nothing to enjoy in Torino 2006. The events are short and dull, the in-game commentary is dreadful and broken, and the atmosphere possesses the exhilaration of a Yanni concert.

There is a special level of Video Game Hell reserved for ROTSS. Simply by existing, it has made the world that much less fun. It's the videogame equivalent of watching your dog being run over, with worse production values.

Its uninspired game design feels completely mired in an era that we'd sooner be done with. There's simply no reason to waste your time with it.

If you've played a weapon-based racer before, you've already played something worth going back to before wandering into the budget-priced land of Pocket Racers.

Unfortunately, the decision to split things across two titles makes each game feel like an overpriced demo, proving the old adage that the whole is much greater than the sum of its parts.

25 to Life is almost like a dirty joke -- You're laughing at how bad it is and feeling guilty at the same time. Don't waste your time or money on this game, it'll make your think-bone hurt.

Unfortunately, it's a mostly uninspired affair, trying to blend several easy-listening game styles, but ultimately never quite hitting the right notes.

You'll spend far too much time in the park, and not enough in the attractions, and that's just not very fun, no matter how old you are.

Turn It Around is a one-trick pony that's still looking to perfect its one trick. The game lacks the diversity of play that has helped make other titles in the mini-game genre meet with at least a moderate amount of success.

So let's see - we've got a poor driving engine, broken crash mechanics, stripped down modes (due to a lack of cars), bugs and some below average audio. Sound like a winner? No. If you want to see a quality portable racer, check this title out on the PSP.

Conquest is frustrating because a true update to the original series with modern design elements and sharp graphics would be a welcome sight for any real-time strategy fan. To drop this game on the public is a low blow to anyone who remembers the old game.

In case you haven't been paying attention for the past 1,000 or so words, you have to really like samurai to want to play this. And I mean really, really like samurai.

If you like The Simpsons and love skateboarding, you'll still hate this awful game... One of the worst games of 2002.

So much presentation and bulked up features, with nothing of substance underneath.

As representations of the End Times go, this one's about as scary as a Sunday school play (and not as well written).

With its silly premise, repetitive gameplay and graphics fit for the PSone, Evolution Snowboarding decends like an avalanche from the highest crest to the lowest valley.

The numerous lackluster features that run rampant in Attack of the Clones prove that it's just a reckless padewan with limited knowledge of the Force.

The Ripping Friends isn't half-assed. It isn't even quarter-assed. The game is one-eighth of an ass ... at best.

Scant fun portions aside, if Far Cry: Vengeance cost the same as a soft-shell taco, I'd suggest you run for the border. I know Uwe Boll got one of his tentacles on the Far Cry movie license; I'm wondering if he directed this game as a warmup.

It wasn't fun for a second and I would strongly caution any gamer tempted to even rent this one. The shoddy and confusing storyline will make this game repugnant even to diehard Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fans.

The fighting system found within Shifters is guaranteed to make just about anyone cringe. Calling it simple is a horrid understatement.

The ten-year-old "NBA Jam" is exponentially better than this. The two-year-old "NBA Street" is eight kajillion times better than this.

It's hard to figure how they could have got the story, characters, and point more wrong than this. Perhaps by replacing Tyler Durden with, say, Dick Cheney, things would have been worse.

A hack-and-slash fest in its most basic, embarrassing form -- and faulty, at that.

Hour of Victory does stage a mini-assualt on the typical genre formula by offering three different characters. That coup, unfortunately, is put down by the sheer force of mistakes found in every other aspect of the game. Dulled-down graphics, poor framerate issues, and undesirable online play nuke this one.

Borderline unplayable.

The most disappointing aspect of the game, however, is the lack of attention to detail. The loading times are atrocious simply to go from one menu to another, you cannot improve your fighter's abilities between fights in the Title Belt mode, and there's no Training mode.