Tina Fey is in the film, for heaven’s sake, and I love her to pieces, but by now we know to expect something humdrum when she’s on a movie screen.

Embarrassing and weird.

Even the love story doesn’t work, because Moretz and Blackley exhibit zero romantic chemistry, and it’s never exactly clear why the pair love each other so much.

Cripplingly lifeless.

The film is confusingly and sloppily put together, edited down to the point that the few genuine jokes of Let’s Be Cops are given precious little time to breathe, before zipping into the next sequence of increasingly irrational events.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles isn’t a movie; it’s a brand re-launch that’s going to satisfy stockholders far more than it’s going to entertain the people who paid to watch it.

A relentlessly unfunny, charmless send-up of better films with better ideas.

Sound nonsensical? It is.

Plainly unfunny.

We all have childhoods to remember. Art needs to do more than just remind us.

In the running for worst film of the year... and it's only April.

Does this mean that Sabotage is a rich, morally complex story about the gray zone between good and evil? Hell, no. It just means it is a bungle.

Nymphomaniac Vol. 1 is the worst thing Lars Von Trier has ever associated himself with.

The empty violence and pointless style are only the biggest problems.

For a movie with the ostensible mission of spreading the Gospel, it does a poor job of speaking to anyone except the faithful.

The first sixty minutes of Pompeii are awful, bordering on unwatchable... The final forty-five minutes of the movie however are, by sheer force of will, irrefutably entertaining. At least there’s raining death in the form of fireballs smashing up the place.

Not every book should be made into a film and, as appears to be the case with Winter’s Tale, not every book can be (especially this one).

Relentlessly awful.

While the art of action filmmaking depreciates, Harlin remains steadfast in his classicism, even if the movie doesn’t have the foundation to support him.

Like a swollen boxer's eye, it should have been cut.

Insufferably boring, culturally hegemonic, and profoundly ugly.

Ti West’s pointless new film The Sacrament, an exercise in talking loud and saying nothing, isn’t just bad, it’s infuriating.

A slumming Spike Lee is still better than most directors at the top of their game, but Oldboy isn’t just Lee’s worst movie, it’s practically his “Wicker Man”.

It’s just boring – and boring in a way that apparently has no endgame.

A pastiche of bad film cliches and scenes devoid of any real conflict or character development.

The absolute antithesis to the pioneering punk spirit it tries to portray.

Fading Gigolo wants to be some sort of sunny tapestry about New York’s social groups, but it’s impossible to see past its absurd premise.

The best word to describe it is strange, though it could have been halfway decent (yes, all the way up to halfway decent) if the third act hadn’t succumbed to the crescendo of craziness that had been building for the first hour.

A film that inserts banal plot devices and endless cutesiness in place of where the “good parts” should be.

The film blinks too fast to maintain a coherent vision.

The whole picture is lifeless and without consequence.

This is a story that has everything you’re looking for, provided that you’re looking for absolutely nothing.

The Smurfs 2 is not so much of a film as it is a collection of images and sounds that bludgeon you.

The Wolverine reveals itself to be a film in desperate need of a point, in dire need of consequences and in a wandering search of any semblance of emotional weight.

There is a legitimate film in here somewhere, buried deep beneath the rubble of its terrible script and editing.

Hollow, uninteresting and false.

The Lifeguard is a painfully dull (alleged) drama utterly lacking in originality or self-awareness.

Thanks for Sharing can’t quite find its footing as either a drama or a comedy, and near the end it’s actively sliding off the rails.

In fact, The Internship rivals the aggressively bland “Larry Crowne” for sheer tepidness, if not worse due to the exhaustive product placement for a company whose real-life presence is unlikely to soon wane.

After Earth stupefies us with nonsense, such little thought and logic went into this idea that it can’t even be considered a rough draft, this is a movie almost daring an audience to emotionally detach throughout. For shame!

Naming aside, Epic could have been good, except that it wasn’t, it was stone cold terrible, something even a six-year-old might scoff at. I know, I’m just as sad as you are about the whole thing.

Despite a lead performance by the always welcome Julianne Moore it is rudderless in its presentation and outright stupid in its central conceits.

Scary Movie 5 is so massively un-enjoyable, a hate crime against cinema, a ringing indictment of the depths commercialism will go to in search of the lowest common denominator.

The prolific 76-year-old British creator of character-rich, social dramas steeped in natural realism (usually) has whiffed it and whiffed it hard with this one. It’s not that it’s just “lesser Loach.” It is, in my opinion at least, humiliating.

The screenplay is far too obsessed with the setup, and not at all concerned with making the villains even the least bit believable or scary.

A shapelessly propulsive mess of pop psychology and poor drama.

By any measure, 'Temptation' ranks amongst Tyler Perry's worst.

An active affront to logic, placing us in a world we firmly know doesn’t exist.

Assisted by passionless central performances and dull dialogue, Mungiu succeeds only in exhausting our patience, not in conveying a message.

Yes, surely for them, the lucky few and probable many, 21 and Over will be the Best Movie Ever. For the rest of us, though, it’s something of a chore.

The most frightening thing about the franchise at this point is that it just keeps on going, undaunted by the characteristics by which the first film made its name. Family is still family and a brand is still a brand, but the blade… well, it’s only grown dull.

A Haunted House, its despicable bigotry aside, is also a not-very-good comedy.

An epically miserable viewing experience, go ahead and skip this one unless you’re seeking to answer the riddle of what happens when people don’t try at their jobs.

The entire enterprise is a bewildering mess, put in place only to frustrate and alienate anyone who buys a ticket. Every action scene is telegraphed, and most of the dialogue is irrevocably stupid.

Even when compared against other films that have been adapted from Nicholas Sparks novels, Safe Haven is terrible.

Not recommended for anyone but the hardiest of animation completists, this one is a definite skip. There’s nothing to note, nothing to grasp, nothing in which to find mirth. You could Escape from Planet Earth, but you’re better off just ignoring it.

The sound is great, the explosions are great, the look and feel could have been turned into something special. It’s the words and plot that are huge negatives here.

John, John, John -- one more bad-guy role in a bad movie and you're going to need another comeback.

An excruciating misfire.

It's just not funny.

The movie is a mess.

As with most non-Disney animated features, Trumpet of the Swan does make the Mouse look like a genius.

Has its - very - occasionally funny moments, so does a car crash.

Little entertainment value.

Do not bring children to this movie unless you want them to have nightmares for weeks.

The animation is only marginally better than the TV show, which means it stinks, and the story is pretty trite.

Re-adjust the levels of cinematic hell, because "Porky's" just got bumped up a notch.

I don't like Say It Isn't So, but I understand its karmic inevitability.

The small reward is the cool, confident presence of DMX, who shows signs of being a great leading man. But only in a much smarter, more original movie.

15 Minutes is simply a bad movie.

It may have a good liberal conscience, and genuine sympathy for the rare perspective of a homeless person, but this movie is a fundamentally sentimental exercise.

Doesn't have the courage or inclination to go inside of Dick's ideas, or offer any kind of structured or detailed approach to his thinking or writing.

Has even less directorial initiative than it has romantic spark.

The film isn't merely bungled. It's starved and battered by Lichtenstein.

Pandering and tired, Down to Earth lurches from one dead gag to the other, in search of both comedic rhythm and a dramatic pulse. It finds neither.

A frenetic spoof of 1961's disastrous Bay of Pigs invasion, Company Man is likely to be forgotten quickly by audiences.

Charlize Theron has charm and skill, but no actress could survive this role, which has the gravity and verisimilitude of a sketch from a late-sixties Nancy Sinatra TV special.

Chaotic, peurile, loaded with sniggering commentary and obsessed with breasts, Saving Silverman is like a 90-minute walk through a 13-year-old boy's head.

Everyone will be indifferent, as indifferent and uncaring as the characters the film portrays.

Watching Left Behind's plodding screen adaptation may make you feel the Deity has already abandoned us to a shockingly dull post-apocalypse.

The film isn't very good. The Million Dollar Hotel is an uneasy melding of Hollywood shtick and art-house sensibilities.

Valentine simply mines the same tired, predictable slasher-movie vein as everything else he's (Blanks) done thus far. Send this one back unopened.

It's not just bad, it's ugly. Not just stupid but really aesthetically displeasing. The sooner this movie disappears from sight, the better.

A crap film that's steeped in liberal paranoia, but it's also so ludicrous that it falls under the guilty-pleasure category.

In the end, Malena is an unlikable and foul farce, unworthy of Tornatore's previously gentle touch.

This overdone project dissipates its energy in strange ways (sudden shifts to black-and-white, as though hailing the spirit of Oliver Stone and that other Costner JFK movie), and makes you wish its makers had shown the same restraint the government did during the crisis.

Vatel is really about production design, so if you're not absolutely passionate about 18th century table-settings, wigs and bodices, you might as well just stay at home and watch the Food Channel.

What were they thinking?

Horribly slapdash affair.

A sequel from hell.

A big disappointment.

So relentlessly vanilla that it never springs to life.

Another droning formulaic thriller.

Disgusting and humorless mess.

A bad movie about a great man.

The real problem is that it's not a very good Hollywood film, and its flaccid style, cardboard characters, and paint-by-the-numbers plot make watching it a chore.

The worst thing you can accuse an unutterably bad movie of is sincerity.

Hopefully, the next time around, Chadha's imagination will be in the service of not just excellent casting and directing, but a script to match those other cinematic components.