Sporadically funny, but never more than a sting of crude gags.

There is scarcely a laugh to be had unless you are six years old or immoderately fond of such wheezes as depositing dog poop on a white carpet.

This is simple, lazy storytelling rendered merely functional by appealing leads and the eternal lure of romantic fantasy.

Confusing and uninspired rather than completely inept, it’s still likely to be swiftly struck from the résumés of all involved.

This mess isn’t likely to reboot or revive the American franchise.

Highly-evolved it ain't, but this Stone Age slacker is a lot of fun.

While there are fun moments, the whole is an odd mix of grotesquerie and cutesiness.

Blair Witch with moon rock. Paranormal Activity in space. Contrived, but if you can take one more variant on the formula, it's got its moments.

But O'Keeffe, as Tarzan, has the best part: he never says a word, unless you count 'Aaa-awaa-awaa'. His visual presence is striking enough: Bjorn Borg's head bolted on to Arnold Schwarzenegger's body.

Predictably awful fourth installment.

Even the gratuitous nudity can't quite save a Heathers-goes-to-college horror that's undermined by a silly plot and clunky dialogue.

An unredeemable failure on all levels, other than living up to our expectations.

Almost palatable, with some fast-moving stunts but dreadful dialogue.

What begins as mildly intriguing stuff with some genuinely unsettling moments, quickly melts into a plot so confusing that it almost begins to look as though the editor was taking some mind-altering substance.

Though Clay is unbearably watchable, the mis-cast director means this comedy would be better as an action flick - it isn't funny but the violence is well executed.

Worse than being buried alive in an actual pyramid, if mercifully less time-consuming.

Torture junkies should remember it’s only four months to Saw IV -- so you can afford to avoid Captivity.

Entertaining family movie for rainy nights and Christmas holidays.

You’ll need a magnifying glass to find the jokes in this send-up of other, better Holmes screen adaptations. With stars this funny, there are inevitably some moments of mirth (several of them onion-based), but it falls well short of their previous team-ups.

Speed 2 is a well-above-average armrest-gripper with little in it to upset the children excepting, perhaps, Dafoe's lengthy white teeth, and the fact that UB40 provide onboard cabaret.

A cool idea rapidly falls apart. A completely missed opportunity.

Godsend is based on an intriguing premise. Sadly, it's mangled into an Omen-lite disaster area, thanks to a script torn between making a moral point about cloning and cheap shocks.

There are a scattering of infallibly cringe-making horrors, but on the whole Saw 3D could do with more depth.

A dodgy script and weak direction means the decent performances fall flat.

Former teen idol and sometime rap artist Vanilla Ice made his movie debut in this lightweight tale of young love that serves best as a cinematic interpretation of the photo romances much revered by pre-pubescent pinup magazines.

Purposeless waste of director Walter Hill's energies.

Goofball fun that will have kids - big and small - rolling in the aisles.

The Godfather II of manwhore sequels, this improves upon the original in every way. Especially if you're drunk.