A case of a missed opportunity. It references all the right films, but The Snowman comes off as a pale imitation.

Blood Wars is tragically bereft of the pulp verve this nonsense needs to be tolerable.

Limp jokes, bad chemistry and the least believable onscreen fraternal bond make for a very lacklustre viewing experience. Even a late appearance from Christopher Walken can't save the day.

Whoever demanded a third installment of Lawrence's mirthless mash-up of weak gags and cross-dressing horrors should be imprisoned and forced to watch it on repeat until they repent. Avoid.

As the bodies pile up amongst this testy crowd of horny teens, there remains a vacant hole were someone scary should be. In a strange way, this film stands unique amongst all slasher films as one where the killer is nearly intangible.

It's a fine line between high art and overblown nonsense. Bizarre accents and annoying camerawork abound in this package of tripe which isn't sure whether it has just left the butchers or is on its way back.

Bad film fans will think Christmas has come early, everyone else should ask for the receipt.

The action comes thick and fast but the storyline is generic and Lutz makes a particularly dull hero. An Erymanthian bore.

It exists basically as a long showreel for Superman-to-be Henry Cavill, who gets to demonstrate a mastery of run-with-a-gun acting and flex his leading man charisma without really breaking a sweat.

Unlikely to win over those who remember the lush vistas and Montalban-powered original, nor appeal much to teens looking for a horror-filled night at the movies, Fantasy Island is distinctly sub-par filmmaking full of clichés and lacking in real entertainment value. No one would call this their ultimate fantasy.

A pallid shopfloor fairytale with absolutely no magic to speak of, other than the spark in Kim Cattrall's eyes.

Cheap and cheerless, Norm’s appeal melts faster than the polar ice. With characters so completely devoid of charm or entertainment value, even David Attenborough would call for a cull of this lot.

Never quite as witty as it should be.

The toxic reaction in Cannes should offer fair warning: Weinstein's glossbuster is a bust.

Yes, Geostorm is bad, but it’s not a stinker for the ages.

Even if the film takes a moment to sheepishly acknowledge its more offensive gags, it’s still asking for laughs from them.

Despite good moments and an ambition to reach for the profound, Life Itself settles for trite, sentimental and patience testing. A killer cast deserve better.

At barely 70 minutes long, this still manages to stammer and stall between the meaningless atrocities. It's time this series met Abbott and Costello.

A disjointed mish-M.A.S.H. of cliched comedy and misplaced observational wit.

The bastard offspring of a charmless romcom and a toothless political satire.

Dreadful.

Far from the catastrophe the US bewailed, but still disappointingly clunky. Notch it between Eragon (below) and Dragonslayer (above) on a sliding scale of fantasy filmmaking.

It's watchable enough in a nothing-better-to-do sort of way, but comparison with a contemporary movie, say, Uncle Buck, shows just how thin it really is.

A few laughs come from Alec Baldwin as Mom’s posturing, deceitful boyfriend, but attempts at inserting risqué modern humour sit uneasily with the playfully innocent surrealism of Seuss’ famous characters.

Really, really bad. It's not good on any level. Not a good horror, not a good revenge flick, it's poorly constructed and has absolutely nothing to say or offer. Utter shit.

If "Wedding Crashers" is in your top ten rom-coms ever, you might not hate this. Otherwise, it’s too gross to be sweet and too sweet to be gross.

Irresponsible, exploitative trash.

Utterly stupid and full of lazy plotting and lazier dialogue, this is just idiotic enough to entertain on nights when you want to give your brain a rest.