While it's tempting to sum up in thumbs down emoji, when they go low, we go high. So let's just say, abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

It would miss the point to complain that the plot is nonsensical drivel peopled by paper-thin characters and a paucity of ideas.

Energetically humourless, with travelogue and circus footage inserted between the dog-piss and big boob jokes.

A lowest common denominator spoof.

Lacking a single honest laugh, this is shoddy by comparison with the other Scary Movie sequels… which throws it in a pit with Transylmania, Breaking Wind and Stan Helsing.

Another soulless, pointless rip-off, this doodles around the plot parameters of John Carpenter's Halloween movies with only Pleasence, who died during production, and Carpenter's theme tune as links to the series' beginnings.

Despite the always-good Harvey Keitel, this is just embarassing sci-fi nonsense.

Lame and clunky in many places which doesn't manage to save this bizarre premise from dull absurdity.

Setting out to be a killer-cop satire for the social media age, the result makes Paul Blart look like Taxi Driver. Unfollow immediately.

Ugly in more ways than one.

A risible attempt to modernise classic science-fiction by adding WhatsApp and political chicanery. This thin, frenetic, soulless adaptation is misguided moviemaking cubed.

Like it or not, Six has contributed something fresh and demented to pop culture.

An obsequious, ring-kissing portrait of the current US administration, dressed in gauche, glossy reality-TV clothing. And yet somehow still better than Rush Hour 3.

Most unforgivably, the period detail is all over the place and the punk/disco soundtrack a real hotch potch, leaving this a story with no real sense of time or place.

Extreme and outrageously blasphemous.

Filmically it's more of a pleasantly diverting kick about in the park than a 90th minute back-of-the-net at the world cup final.

This is one expensive folly.

A moody, engaging end-of-the-world horror-drama, if a bit too apocalypse-lite.

Genuinely original interpretation of the Brit gangster and Lewis Carroll's surreal tale.

Josh Fox puts a fresh spin on a well-drilled - if continually relevant - story.

Excellent performances from the cast elevate this otherwise slightly flawed a hokey interloper story.

Deeply icky on many different levels, with Ross Noble's feature debut illuminated by stomach-churning effects.

The performances are solid - Goodbye Lenin! actor Florian Lukas is the standout - but ponderous pacing makes this true-life tale a lot less enthralling than it might have been.

Charming, if disjointed, it’ll give you one hell of an appetite.

An exposition-heavy opening gives way to a modestly effective Australian mash-up of sci-fi/horror hybrids.

Tougher than a box of nails, this is a brassy revenge thriller that refuses to pull its punches.

Jonny Owen’s winning doc appeals beyond football tribalism with a universal underdog story, boosted by a thumping disco score that gives a thud to the match footage.

Goldstein is enormously endearing, while Drever milks the mundanity for laughs and unexpected sweetness.