(Altogether now) Oompa Loompa Doompadee Dah, I'm stunned I bothered getting so far. You will live in misery too, if you play this Oompa Loompa Loompa Doompadee Doo. (Doompadee Doo.)

The art style is superb and there's something compelling about the simplicity of an extremely linear experience. [PSW]

The whole experience ends up falling a little flat. The main problem is that there's no great story to really pull you in. Yes, there are over 20 weapons to collect and upgrade, which is fun, but the narrative is sadly lacking. [PSW]

If you and a group of mates do enjoy blowing the sh.t out of each other, however, you'd be as misguided as 343 Guilty Spark to miss out on this. Fifteen quid to add another year's enjoyment to an already fabulous title, or eight quid for five spanking new ones over Live? Yes please to both! [Official UK Xbox Magazine]

Battles are buzzy, entertaining affairs, full of energy and outrageous special moves, but as a complete package this falls way short of what we'd expect, especially when for the same money (thirty quid) you could probably pick up "DOA Ultimate" or "Soul Calibur II." [Official UK Xbox Magazine]

While The Bard's Tale is told amusingly enough, the disappointing combat fails to lift it from the upper end of mediocrity.

But it clearly screams console from every pore, mysteriously labelling keyboard controls as move icons in its frequent in-game hints, which engenders all manner of frustration. [PC Zone]

Graphically speaking, Fantastic 4 is tired and ropey and depressingly familiar to look at. There's plenty going on, sure - the game copes well with teeming armies of bad guys - but the character models are basic and the arm-through-wall style glitches and wobbly camera are just embarrassing. [Official UK Xbox Magazine]

Phantasy Star Online is jam-packed with special gaming touches all combining to create one of the most pleasing gaming environments around. [PC Zone]

It does an excellent job of expanding RCT3 - not only are there the nine new scenarios, but you can also use many of the new features in the existing scenarios, which is a nice touch.

Graphically it's stunning to behold, geographically vast to explore and whereas the first two games in the series were typified by the anarchic rushes for armour, BF2 promotes and rewards altruism and teamwork like no other.

Factor in a visceral shooter splattered with as much humour as the original, impressive graphics, innovative puzzles, and more importantly, a cracking script, and you've got two fantastic party games for the price of one. It's a corker and no mistake! [Official UK Xbox Magazine]

The countless in-jokes and references to other films, the mocking comment of NPCs on the American dream, and even the less-than-loving relationship between Crypto and his controlling superior... all the icing on the cake of an incredibly fun actioner.

Perhaps the biggest letdown is the driving levels featuring the Batmobile. These commit the worst act of plagiarism since Oasis began ripping off themselves from their third album onwards. [PSW]

Live is included as part of the deal, and further downloadable characters, stages and moves are promised. Which will make the purists squeal, though they may be the only parties really interested in this blast of rose-tinted nostalgia. [Official UK Xbox Magazine]

It's good. Clichéd nonsense, but good. [Official UK Xbox Magazine]

The driving itself is seriously good fun and that really is the most important thing. This is a great game made even greater by its protracted stay in the developer's waiting room.

Juiced has come a long way since the fall of Acclaim. It's still a huge undertaking, full of masses of depth, but it now plays and looks a damn sight better too. [Official UK Xbox Magazine]

A competent and rewarding game worthy of a couple of days blasting. [PC Zone]

There's a mind-boggling amount of stuff to do.

A definite improvement on "Rising Sun," but the squad control has been done better in "Brothers in Arms," and "Call of Duty" provides the same level of intensity. Instead of being a standout title, European Assault is really just another WWII shooter. [PSW]

With a lot of unforgivably repeated gameplay areas and almost zero replay value, this is a brief blast of fun that can't go the distance.

For a series that started the whole World War II shooter experience, Medal of Honor now finds itself occupying a strange middle ground, neither floundering as it so obviously did with "Rising Sun," nor presenting any kind of serious challenge to the innovative "Brothers in Arms," or even "Call of Duty."

It's way more savvy than most movies about gang violence.

In all, KOH is a studious and elegant RTS that benefits from a smooth interface and a balanced system of game mechanics. But sadly there's only one way to play the game: slowly. It's really quite a sedate experience, in fact too sedate, and after a few plays, only the committed will want to stay with it.

Right now it is compelling, but riddled with so many problems that if you part ways with your cash for it, you're entering into a pact that will give you as much frustration as entertainment. [PC Zone]

Bereft of tension and riddled with lazy animations, ER is far from infectious, though it does have an underlying charm that might dazzle the more clinically inclined (or failed medical students).

The combat quickly becomes repetitive, simply involving mouse-clicking on-screen to shoot at the blindingly stupid enemies blundering towards you, retreating if they get too close, then shooting again, maybe using a barrel of explosives for a bit of a change.