It’s just an anachronistic burp from long ago, repeating itself with an apologetic grin and a flutter of its eyelashes to turn into an average RTS of today. Er, I’ve got no idea where this metaphor’s going. Just look at the score.

I can only urge you to buy this if you are an avid fan of all things Spore or you happen to see it for at least half of the current selling price.

Between this game and the Watchmen equivalent, we're seeing the arrival of an ugly baby. Film marketing folks are going to be releasing a lot of this kind of thing over the next few years. Get used to it. Ignore them. Who knows, eventually they may give up and go bother someone else.

It’s very hard to recommend this game, not only do the combination of strategy and button mashing not sit well together, but the game is exactly the same as the PlayStation 2 version.

In fairytale terms this game is a poisoned apple and if it doesn’t kill you it will probably put you to sleep.

Unfortunately, the poor controls, cringe-worthy sound effects and a story that I'm not even sure would fight for the attention of a child make for a serious let down to anyone seeking a Marble Madness shadow with a narrative.

Overall the game is very simple to pick up and play, but it’s this simplicity that is the game's downfall. It quickly becomes repetitive, and there are several aspects of the game that will frustrate.

This is not actually a bad game but it has some technical flaws going against it. If you’re bored of using guns and in the mood for slicing up some nasty-looking monsters without getting scared out of your wits, by all means pick it up.

I don’t want to play this game anymore, and I can unreservedly suggest you don’t play it either. Go swat flies instead – you use the same motions and will achieve more satisfactory results.

It’s the very definition of [average], with so-so graphics and sound, mindless, repetitive action and nothing to get even vaguely excited about.

This never gives me the urge to go into the kitchen, hitting the lino and spinning on my head; not even close. It makes me want to buy the soundtrack and play a different game.

Sure it won't challenge the big boys in the gaming industry, but it's up to indie developers to push unique ideas further. Hermitworks Entertainment should be proud of their game because it shows a lot of potential.

A fun, if simplistic battle game that is certainly well above average and worth giving it a spin if you find it at the right price.

One of the PS2’s better looking debacles. On a sheer destructive scale it’s a beauty.

Namco Museum 50th Anniversary is a bit like a film that, when it appears in the TV listings, makes you smile fondly. Then, having forgotten it’s on, you stumble across it when you flick away from Bargain Hunt in the afternoon. You spend a little while watching it before your smile vanishes and you realise that, actually, it’s not really very good and you flick back to Bargain Hunt.

The learning curve, hampered by comically poor documentation and badly-executed tutorials, is almost vertical.

The actual depth available for the player is amazing with a large number of missions, mini-games and mission types (including free-roam), but unlike Grand Theft Auto, they aren’t seamlessly integrated into the world, rather a big list of activities for you to choose from the menu, which seems to be a step back in my eyes.

Aside from the brief diversion of the multiplayer mode there’s little to enjoy here. Dead Man’s Chest is the very definition of a lazy licence - so routine, clunky and mechanical that it’s as soulless as a ghost pirate.

With the lack of challenge, the absence of fun and no attempt at providing an experience for it’s target audience, EA has managed to produce one of the worst ‘games’ (if it can even be called that) that I have ever had the misfortune to play.

It's good, yes, but not brilliant.

There are some good ideas in here and with a bit more bug fixing and tweaking before release this could have been a decent offering. In the end Stormrise has so many problems that it is impossible to recommend.

So far, so 1/10! But, despite the control issues, the awful production values and the Create-a-player mode being the most stripped down and useless creation tool I’ve ever seen (there aren’t even any stats to give your player), PDC still has that ‘something’ that makes it worthy of more than that.

The extra 6 months in development could have been used to make the controls actually controllable.

It’s tempting to go so far as to state that this is the epitome of mainstream, generic console fare, but it doesn’t have playable rap stars or street racing in it, so it doesn’t even merit that.

Its ugly presentation and poor execution are an insult to both the recommended system specifications (one gigahertz for this?) and to all the progress that's been made in designing shooters over the last few years. This is one to avoid.

Sadly rather disappointing. It's all the more disappointing because it promises so much and because it is so reminiscent of the classic "Theme Hospital."

Oh God, where to begin…? The utterly, mind-bogglingly dreadful character design and animation? The hugely irritating Californian-princess voice over? No, No! Even better, how about the generally sub-PS2 environments and enemies? How about the fact that the near-silent, samey, uninspiring bad guys keep floating up into the air when standing too close to the scenery? Or the sucky frame rate?

Suddenly, it’s not nice any more. It’s a joke. £25 worth of bland. It’s like buying a surprise celebrity and getting home to discover it’s Dale Winton.