The Northman

8

mikesgold2KJan 11, 2023

Krwawa pieśń o zemście. Jednak im dalej w las tym bardziej rozciągnięta się wydaje. Wszystko jest rekompensowane na szczęście przez świetną stronę audiowizualną

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8

Dee-Jay_DeliMay 7, 2022

Visually impressive retelling of Hamlet in a Viking setting. It's sensual, brutal and visceral.

It's just important to manage expectations. This is not "Vikings", this is not an "action movie". It's Shakespeare.

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8

NickTheCritickApr 25, 2022

This movie is a great cinematic experience. The story is simple: Amleth witnesses the death of his father (murdered by his uncle) and manages to escape to avoid his own death. As a man who lost everything (father, mother, kingdom) , onceThis movie is a great cinematic experience. The story is simple: Amleth witnesses the death of his father (murdered by his uncle) and manages to escape to avoid his own death. As a man who lost everything (father, mother, kingdom) , once grown up, sets off in search of revenge. Eggers take inspiration from an ancient Icelandic saga of revenge to stage a unique show: the film is a stunning visual spectacle, Eggers' aesthetic sense is truly sublime and the film turns out to be a perfectly balanced mix between the narrative component and the dream component which leaves you speechless and it is nothing more than the culmination of a careful staging of Viking rituals and folklore. The images Eggers offers to us are beautiful paintings and Jarin Blaschke's cinematography is stellar. The editing is good but feel like some important scenes were cut off from the movie. If I have to find any flaws I find only three: 1) the first part of the film goes too fast as if some important scenes had been cut for production reasons.
2) the CGI used is not really of first quality (it is very clear that the animals are fake The acting of each actor (Skarsgård in primis) is as good as it gets. 3) It would have been nice to have more scenes to better understand the Taylor Joy character and a scene where the god Freyr appears to Fjolnir in a vision. The acting of each actor (Skarsgård in primis) is as good as it gets. This film is a really fine piece of work of the epic genre and a long ride of a Valkyrie towards Valhalla. 3 out of 3 for Eggers with his three works.… Expand

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8

AgentLviJul 9, 2023

Great movie. The story is decent. The scoring is great, visual is really amazing, the voice & sound is also amazing

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8

DarkwingSchmuckJul 28, 2023

After two home runs with The Witch and The Lighthouse, Robert Eggers is back with his largest film to-date in The Northman. Thankfully, despite a bigger studio presence, The Northman retains all of the qualities that one has come to expectAfter two home runs with The Witch and The Lighthouse, Robert Eggers is back with his largest film to-date in The Northman. Thankfully, despite a bigger studio presence, The Northman retains all of the qualities that one has come to expect in a Robert Eggers film. Even if it is more flawed than his first two features, The Northman is a hauntingly beautiful and at times captivating work of art.… Expand

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8

DungamApr 28, 2022

Gonna be completely honest, I went into this movie pretty blind as I wasn't even aware that this was directed by the same guy who did The Witch and The Lighthouse. I went in expecting a lot more action with historical accuracy in mind but IGonna be completely honest, I went into this movie pretty blind as I wasn't even aware that this was directed by the same guy who did The Witch and The Lighthouse. I went in expecting a lot more action with historical accuracy in mind but I was completely mistaken. Don't be mistaken there is plenty of action however this movie is filled with a ton of mythology and symbolism. Despite being surprised by that I was more than pleased with the movie. I will say some of the ritual scenes felt a little unnecessary or at least dragged out but even with those minor complaints I really had a good time.… Expand

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8

MikeyMetaApr 26, 2022

Great film with a good plot. Action was great, dialog was good, cinematography was great and the theme has been written before but still manages to be refreshing and a turn-off at the same time

4 of 7 users found this helpful43

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8

Dojooo333May 1, 2022

It's real masterpiece in terms of making and plot. In some moments, it becomes slow, so I wouldn't call it „action movie”, but very good drama. It's 100% worth watching.

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8

Louis_VoltronMay 5, 2022

This is a love letter to Conan the Barbarian. I really enjoyed the film but it wants to be be weirder and more violent… it seems to be holding back .

1 of 4 users found this helpful13

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8

Rickniks38May 8, 2022

This movie is basically a live action version of Vinland Saga and you can't prove me wrong.

0 of 3 users found this helpful03

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8

SdmvmsMay 9, 2022

AyeekfkskdkfdkfkdkfkefjfkfkkddkdkdkdmcmdnddmdxmxmcmxxmcmxndjxndnxmsmxmsndjsnwnjsjsjdjdjdsndnsdnsndnsnndmsmsksmdskskdkdmdmdmdmsmdmsmdmsmdmsmekdddkdmsxmxmamsmsmdndmdmdmamxnsmxksmdmsmdmsxmmsmxmxmzkxkzzkzskzkxxjkfkdkekktkrlrkeieiwjwjushejeejdjejsAyeekfkskdkfdkfkdkfkefjfkfkkddkdkdkdmcmdnddmdxmxmcmxxmcmxndjxndnxmsmxmsndjsnwnjsjsjdjdjdsndnsdnsndnsnndmsmsksmdskskdkdmdmdmdmsmdmsmdmsmdmsmekdddkdmsxmxmamsmsmdndmdmdmamxnsmxksmdmsmdmsxmmsmxmxmzkxkzzkzskzkxxjkfkdkekktkrlrkeieiwjwjushejeejdjejsjdsjdbdhsjdjdjejejfjfjfkfkdmmermemrdmfmfmfmfmfmffmfmfmdmdmmfmffmfmfmdmfmfmfmrmrrmrmdmfmgmdmddmmddmdmdmdmdmdmdrmfkekdksjxsjdjszksnsmsnsmansnsnssjznsnsndnsnsnsnsdnekejekdoeodkddkekrksmdnrnendencnnssndndnskdkdmandsksnsmssmdmdsnsmcmznzncnsnxnxnccnxnxnsncnznxnxnznxnsnxnsmdsndnndndsndnmsndsneneieodjsjsjesjdjekelwkkfkxxmxmsmendjwkdjrkr2iemsk1odpwb2jx cbdjekfdjdjsjsjsjddnfjnenfndsndndnmwnenddndnfnsdmdmdmdnfdmfmfmdncndcnsncnsncnsndnsncdnddndsnsdjssnnssnsnsndnsndndnxnxndsndndndjtjdjn kejdjdjfdjdjdkdkdkdmfmgmermfmdmdfmfmdkdkdkdkddlkdfmdkdkdndnddnkefkekfkdkfkfkdkdffjdjdjfjfkrkgdkfkdkfkdkdmdmdmsddkrmensndjsnendndejejehejsjsjsjsjsjxjsjsjsjsjckskdkdckdkdckskwkdsnnsndndndndnckwokdndjdleislfkhdjdkfowleoekdwofkdkfkdekfkdkdkdkkedkckmffmwkwkeoq1odociwkdjsjdjsjfwkeo1odjdjwidjsdjdnskskssmsmdmssmsnxnamsndndjfwjdjdjcjdjxjsdjsjxjcjchdjsjdjwfjsjccjscjmddndmdnfmdcksornfrjrbrnfkwekdkndnrnftktkrkrkrj… Expand

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8

ODballin11May 15, 2022

Raw Savages and Tragic family scenes I gave it a solid 8/10.

I personally Didn't like the last 30 minutes

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8

AmateurfilmVWRAug 17, 2022

Absolutely intense revenge thriller. Its incredibly well-paced, its 2hr 17 minutes but it doesn't feel that way at all because it feels like no shot is wasted in this film. Eggers is incredible with the cinematography and overall tone of hisAbsolutely intense revenge thriller. Its incredibly well-paced, its 2hr 17 minutes but it doesn't feel that way at all because it feels like no shot is wasted in this film. Eggers is incredible with the cinematography and overall tone of his films with this film making great use of lighting and effects. The cast is also very good, Ethan Hawke is always incredible and Anya Taylor-Joy and Alexander Skarsgárd are stellar as well. Its a really good film… Expand

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8

ToxicOpinionAug 25, 2022

Very enjoyable if not extremely weird in certain spots. As an avid mushroom user i plan to revisit the film soon. Eric from True Blood is hot af as always.

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8

lxslaneyApr 2, 2023

It had some strange scenes that I didn't fully understand but overall a great movie with some really good acting.

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8

ChrisNortonAug 7, 2023

An original and engrossing take on the revenge tale that does not follow common cinematic tropes. Well executed and structured with an amazing score and breathtakingly shot. This film has some quirks and some oddities woven in, but what is onAn original and engrossing take on the revenge tale that does not follow common cinematic tropes. Well executed and structured with an amazing score and breathtakingly shot. This film has some quirks and some oddities woven in, but what is on display is original and very engaging and enticing. Great twists in the narrative and a satisfying climax. The acting and accents engross you in the Scandinavian/Viking life and the scenery (especially in Iceland) is incredibly captivating. Some of the long tracking and action sequences are equally impressive. Some of the visual effects and action sequences were lacking though, but this did not diminish how the film lands overall.

Setting, Conflict, Character, Dialogue, Theme, Plot, and Climax: A-

Audience Engagement (do you feel runtime): No

Top Genres - Action, Adventure, Drama (Fiction)

Runtime - 2:17

Genre(s) rating -Action - 7 -Adventure - 8 -Drama - 7 -Fantasy - 8 -History - 7 -Thriller - 7

Genre Average Score: 7.3 Directing: 8 Cinematography/lighting: 9 Story/Narrative: 8 Structure: 9 Dialogue: 9 Score(music): 10 Editing: 8 Acting: 8 Characterization: 9 Mise en Scène/Visual Design: 9 Visual Effects: 7 Costumes/Makeup: 8 Lasting Impact: 8 Originality: 10

Overall: 8.49… Expand

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7

PerfectPortalJul 1, 2022

It’s a movie that fully embodies the word “savage”: not just the brutal violence, but the performances are intensely crazed and the music is often as raucous as possible. If it weren’t for some bizarre dreamlike moments that are moreIt’s a movie that fully embodies the word “savage”: not just the brutal violence, but the performances are intensely crazed and the music is often as raucous as possible. If it weren’t for some bizarre dreamlike moments that are more distracting than beneficial, it would have been even more awesome.… Expand

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7

CoreGamer1408Nov 21, 2022

Production wise this had the feeling of a small screen (TV) production, but a very nicely done TV film for sure. The film left the supernatural stuff open to interpretatation in this tale of revenge. Interesting overall, but not in any wayProduction wise this had the feeling of a small screen (TV) production, but a very nicely done TV film for sure. The film left the supernatural stuff open to interpretatation in this tale of revenge. Interesting overall, but not in any way fun or inspiring. Well it is about unpleasant uninspiring characters in a brutal world.… Expand

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7

ty92Dec 30, 2022

This movie is pretty weird and crazy. It's a movie that is beautifully shot and looks incredible. The acting is great and the story is one of revenge. Lots of weird scenes that are pretty dark. I'm not sure if I liked this movie or not. IThis movie is pretty weird and crazy. It's a movie that is beautifully shot and looks incredible. The acting is great and the story is one of revenge. Lots of weird scenes that are pretty dark. I'm not sure if I liked this movie or not. I think the ending was really messed up. I didn't like what happened with his mother. I wasn't really on the side of any of the characters. None of them are good, they're all just wild animals. Lots of death in this one. I didn't get a good feeling when this one ended. Just kind of shocked at what happened. This movie is definitely unique and I recommend watching it.… Expand

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7

GLADIADORMay 14, 2022

Batalhas incriveis e lutas memoraveis, o homem do norte é um bom filme, mas ele poderia ser mais curto

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7

AhlgrenMay 7, 2022

Love Björk in this movie.
Its not the best viking movie but it up there...

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7

Sayeem_ShamsJun 8, 2022

A straightforward revenge story with visually immersive cinematography, but the dull climax and underwhelming action sequences were a letdown.

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7

AvenitMay 13, 2022

Impressive in terms of directing and sound, unlike the plot / script. Of course, this is not the main thing in Eggers' films ('The Lighthouse' one of my favorites), but in this case it was felt that something was missing, terribly predictable.

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7

ExceladeogunAug 31, 2023

The Northman This historical thriller sees the protagonist—Amleth, a Viking prince, as he journeys to exert revenge on the man who usurped his father's throne after killing him.

The Northman is visceral with a consistently grim tone.The Northman This historical thriller sees the protagonist—Amleth, a Viking prince, as he journeys to exert revenge on the man who usurped his father's throne after killing him.

The Northman is visceral with a consistently grim tone.

There's a lot to praise about The Northman, from the brilliant direction of Robert Eggers to the performances given by the cast. The cinematography is also a marvel; the world painted here is striking, and enlivened with brute action and a killer score.

The subject matter in The Northman may be hackneyed and probably isn't driven by a lot of character development but as a whole, it is an utter Viking movie.

7.5/10… Expand

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7

theodenidaMay 24, 2022

I had a lot of expectations watching this movie. There were some great moments that I really apreciated, like the magic rituals and the imagery coming after that. Unfortunately in the end, overall the film falls into the genre and I was a bitI had a lot of expectations watching this movie. There were some great moments that I really apreciated, like the magic rituals and the imagery coming after that. Unfortunately in the end, overall the film falls into the genre and I was a bit disappointed, but I still think the director did a great job to reach a wider audience. It's like an art-house film hitting big.… Expand

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7

LightsAndBulbsSep 18, 2022

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. "The Northman" is the weakest film by Robert Eggers so far, but that doesn't mean it's bad. Visually, it's stunning. The cinematography and special effects were all really well done, and Anya Taylor-Joy and Nicole Kidman both gave great performances. I also really enjoyed the twists and turns the story took during its latter half. My biggest issues lie within the movie's final sequences. Taylor-Joy's death comes out of nowhere, and feels clumsily implemented into the story, resulting in a lack of impact. The final fight also felt a bit cliched, and I felt as though there were certain ideas, specifically the morality of the main character, that could have been better explored and fleshed out. Still, Robert Eggers continues his winning streak with a solid new entry in his filmography.
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Best Performance: Anya Taylor-Joy… Expand

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7

TristanHemlockSep 22, 2022

These type of movies should be done more often. They take us back to a simpler time in the movie industry, when movies were actually made to be interesting and for you to think about what you just saw. The Northman gives you that. It'sThese type of movies should be done more often. They take us back to a simpler time in the movie industry, when movies were actually made to be interesting and for you to think about what you just saw. The Northman gives you that. It's brutal, it's raw, it's physical, it's spiritual, but above all it's unapologetic. It's what it is and it doesn't ask forgiveness for being what it is. So if you can't handle a view that is different from your own, if you rant and whine about everything that doesn't fit your narrow view of the world, then you can skip this movie because it isn't for you. This is a movie about how humans were and still are. How we see reality through a very narrow lens, but we think we're seeing it all. Understanding it all. The main characters will show you that to perfection. How their world is not necessarily the world, rather it's the world they can understand at the time, the world they can see at the time. But even as time progresses things shift, change, and even their grasp on reality can be tenuous at times. Leaving the viewer to wonder if something actually happened, or was it some kind of vision. Also the goals of the characters are simple. They all want happiness in their lives, they all want simpler lives, they all think they know what they want, but they all fall into fallacies that leads them astray. This movie does an example job showing how easy it's to see your life through your own perspective, and not care about looking at all sides. And the price that comes with being so narrow minded. That's why although this movie is set in ancient Norse times, you can still look at the characters and see so much of what people are today. The Northman in many ways it's you, me, and everyone you meet or know. The Northman represents the core of our nature but also our ability to overcome it, if we simply stop and think beyond our egos. Some actors did a far better job than others. Alexander Skarsgård showed how much he has grown as an actor, and easily carries the movie mostly by himself. Anya Taylor-Joy did the best she could with what little time she was given. Helping to cement Skarsgård character. As for Nicole Kidman. I've seen far better from her, and it didn't feel like she was into her character at all. Even Ethan Hawke put little effort into it, maybe because he just wanted to get his part done and move on to another project. This movie will take you on a simple journey, because the goals are simple and even relatable. And for those that can see beyond what they're shown, this movie will actually teach you something important. As a bonus, this movie brings none of the agendas that most movies don't even try to hide anymore. It's a simple movie, with characters that have simple goals. And those goals will clash and fight. It will be for those that just watch it and don't think about it, a simple movie. It will be an immersive, interesting, and intriguing experience for those that watch it but think about what they watched. For those that will just watch it, it will seem too long. For those that will watch it and think about what they're watching, it will be just the right amount of time necessary to see it but also understand it.… Expand

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7

Erikm02Mar 13, 2023

Badass seeks revenge. Pretty standard no frills Viking fare. Love the atmosphere and lore. Not a lot of dialogue or much added to the Viking genre.

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7

HmansoJan 29, 2023

Visually stunning. The performances are mostly solid. While not a standout in my opinion, it is an entertaining film, quite unique in its topic and definitely worth watching.

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6

scoleyApr 22, 2022

Far to long starts well very boring in the middle and an average ending and the so called twist you can see coming a mile away not a bad film but definitely overated.

5 of 15 users found this helpful510

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6

muldjordJun 16, 2023

Kind of slow, spiritual and very symbolic in nature. I guess that's to be expected when you look at Eggers' previous movies. But it was too slow and too boring for my taste.

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6

RalfbergsJun 23, 2022

It lacked something for me or maybe was too much mythical stuff. Also disliked how much of it was shot in dark scenes. The story itself was good. Maybe not just for my taste.

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6

JimmyCricketMay 17, 2022

I had high hopes for this film, but unfortunately the story was pretty basic and shallow. It's like a B-grade version of Vikings.

1 of 2 users found this helpful11

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6

OlivierPielMay 14, 2022

Enjoyable entertainment, that blatantly but aptly copies scenes from masters such as Tarkovsky (pagan orgy in the woods - Andrei Rublev) or Cuaron's long takes (Viking raid on the Rus - Children of Men) for instance and fuses them withEnjoyable entertainment, that blatantly but aptly copies scenes from masters such as Tarkovsky (pagan orgy in the woods - Andrei Rublev) or Cuaron's long takes (Viking raid on the Rus - Children of Men) for instance and fuses them with brutal Hollywoodian escapism. Why not, if it introduces young people to superior art?

The "Hamlet" plot line is a bit simplistic but it is clear this film is not meant as a cerebral piece like, say, the excellent series Station Eleven that deals with the exact same topic. Second gripe: The lead female character is either miscast or just too thinly fleshed out. third: Too much Nicole Kidman and not Defoe and Hawk. Fourth: The resolution feels also a bit too "Star Wars" silly.… Expand

2 of 3 users found this helpful21

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6

ArmitasJun 6, 2022

TLDR. From beginning to end you will feel nothing but apathy or hatred for every character in the movie. (except the girl) There are no cool or thoughtful sword fights, just murder assassinations, and some nonsense end fight by a volcano. TheTLDR. From beginning to end you will feel nothing but apathy or hatred for every character in the movie. (except the girl) There are no cool or thoughtful sword fights, just murder assassinations, and some nonsense end fight by a volcano. The story was as rewarding as Oedipus was to read. The movie portrays its story well...but the character choices in the story, and where it goes, are just "why" inducing. I developed no love for the character. There was not a single point where I didn't hope that every main character died (except the girl, who was the only intelligent person in the movie). They were all just awful human beings, who did nothing but evil, while complaining to their gods when its done to them. There is a bunch of mystical stuff in it, but it's senseless, you can't tell what is really happening and what isn't. This makes sense the first time it happens because they are hallucinating, but it just keeps happening without hallucinogenics. At one point there is a Valkyrie with braces, just why?

If the movie was to show just how dumb and senseless this particular culture was then it's a 10, if it was meant to make you feel something, then it failed. The only thing I felt was utter apathy.… Expand

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6

kirkenderJun 26, 2022

The Northman is Robert Eggers's most "accessible" film and also his weakest. It is a basic revenge action flick with moments of greatness, but is mostly a dumb "men screaming at each other until they die" flick. The music is good, the actingThe Northman is Robert Eggers's most "accessible" film and also his weakest. It is a basic revenge action flick with moments of greatness, but is mostly a dumb "men screaming at each other until they die" flick. The music is good, the acting is solid, the cinematography is excellent. Overall it seems to lack something, but it's hard to put my finger on it, maybe it needs to be shorter. If you like Gladiator and Braveheart, you will dig this more occult version of the same tale.… Expand

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6

OrukayuJan 22, 2023

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Viking revenge movie made in 2022 with fantastic elements. The cast is a mix of celebrities, but the movie can't go above mediocre. The Lion King cartoon turned into a regular movie. The king is ambushed by his brother while he is with his young son. He orders the death of his son and takes the king's wife to himself. The child does not die. He seeks revenge as a slave. I think the movie that went well is drooling towards the finale.

Nicole Kidman, I really hated you.

There are scenes of nudity and sexuality in the movie. A bit of Lion King, a bit of Gladiator, a pinch of 300 Spartans, while it was cooked on low heat, it got a little bottom.… Expand

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6

Mauro_LanariJun 26, 2022

(Mauro Lanari)
Net of some slip-ups in the heroic fantasy of "Conan": a hyphen (or an obelus: ÷) between the date of birth and that of death is what we find engraved on each tombstone and is today's version of the 3 Greek Moirai, the 3 Norse(Mauro Lanari)
Net of some slip-ups in the heroic fantasy of "Conan": a hyphen (or an obelus: ÷) between the date of birth and that of death is what we find engraved on each tombstone and is today's version of the 3 Greek Moirai, the 3 Norse Norns, the 3 Hindu deities of the Trimurti: the beginning, the duration, the end. The destiny of every cosmic entity, its fate, its predestination, since nothing and no one is allowed to self-determine ontologically. If Refn's "Valhalla Rising" (2009) limits itself to exposing a primitive and ancestral violence, if Joel Coen's "Macbeth" (2021) forgets this essential element of Shakespearean tragedy, instead Eggers draws on such root of the true epic: the ineluctability and unchangeability of what has already been brutally and de-responsibly decided of our existences, of which we are actors and spectators but not directors. Free will as a chimera: "meat puppets". A wrong metaphysical model? Maybe: other myths prospect the tree of life, but not Malick's (2011), blinded by the Grace he sees everywhere, nor the esoteric Aronofsky's ("The Fountain" 2006), that doesn't work. So what?… Expand

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6

NomaxMay 31, 2022

Вообщем картинка в этом фильме шикарная, актёрская игра на высоте, саундтрек тоже весьма хорош, а вот по части сюжета не особо проникся, фильм на разок.Вообщем картинка в этом фильме шикарная, актёрская игра на высоте, саундтрек тоже весьма хорош, а вот по части сюжета не особо проникся, фильм на разок.

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6

DylanDavidsonApr 24, 2022

Found it to be a bit of a chore to get through. Action and set pieces are cool but it was hard to be invested in the characters and their motivations.

8 of 20 users found this helpful812

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6

ZuultaanMay 20, 2022

the movie was good it's just hard to look at nicole kidman with all facial surgeries and pretend she is from the 10th century or whatever. Its just weird they should have picked someone else but aside from that its bretty gud.

1 of 2 users found this helpful11

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6

JLauMay 22, 2022

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. The plot of the Lion King set against dreary, Icelandic landscapes, everybody wants revenge and the main guy could've finished the film off about halfway if he had simply gotten on with it.… Expand

0 of 1 users found this helpful01

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6

benjanzenMay 13, 2022

The Northman is a brutal and gritty Viking tale, the likes of which we’ve never seen before. And though I was impressed by its spectacle and craftsmanship, I feel it lacked any heart or emotional depth. I didn’t find myself invested in theseThe Northman is a brutal and gritty Viking tale, the likes of which we’ve never seen before. And though I was impressed by its spectacle and craftsmanship, I feel it lacked any heart or emotional depth. I didn’t find myself invested in these characters nor this story; I didn’t FEEL anything. At the end of the day, while it’s a film that I can appreciate, it just wasn’t for me.… Expand

9 of 9 users found this helpful90

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6

RobertHowardOct 9, 2022

Not all pieces of The Northman fit together neatly, but director Robert Eggers creates a visually stunning movie that not only feels historic, but is entertaining even if you know where it is going.

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6

ajaaxx123Apr 25, 2022

its a good movie if you want to hang out a while, but it has no relevance in movies historie or making at all. 6/10

4 of 9 users found this helpful45

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6

liamexeMay 21, 2022

I really wanted to like this film. I truly did. Anything that isn't Marvel. Unfortunately, this film was gloomy, boring, and uninteresting. It began with the terrible strength of mankind to endure and impose adversity, but the plot quicklyI really wanted to like this film. I truly did. Anything that isn't Marvel. Unfortunately, this film was gloomy, boring, and uninteresting. It began with the terrible strength of mankind to endure and impose adversity, but the plot quickly fell flat. There's nothing to learn, no one to love or hate, no way to develop a personality. You never forget you're watching a movie, which isn't meant as an insult, but it could be. You do not merge with it. It may win an Academy Award for its production or costumes, but none of it compensates for the film's gloomy, plodding, and uninteresting tale.… Expand

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6

BrownerManAug 17, 2022

tolerable + action

It is watchable. As you watch it you wonder if you should continue. Don't.

stretched into more time

watch when free

2 of 2 users found this helpful20

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5

currer_bellOct 8, 2022

Not as soporific as "The Lighthouse", but overall it's just another tedious and boring Robert Eggers movie.

0 of 1 users found this helpful01

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5

FadeBlackApr 22, 2022

Excessively, absurdly violent, with very little in the sense of story and developed characters to give said violence meaning and purpose. I appreciate the talent involved, but it is hard to understand what the film was looking to achieve. AsExcessively, absurdly violent, with very little in the sense of story and developed characters to give said violence meaning and purpose. I appreciate the talent involved, but it is hard to understand what the film was looking to achieve. As a mediation on viking violence and Norse lore it is mildly entertaining, but doesn't hold a candle to Valhalla Rising (2009). As far as plot and character go it is all rather one-dimensional, engaging in places, but meandering for the most part. The score was the best part. Overall would fall short of recommending it.… Expand

7 of 22 users found this helpful715

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5

RMckayAug 13, 2022

Let down of the year. I'm a huge Eggers fan and love love love The Witch and The Lighthouse. I know this is a very different film that those above mentioned, but it's depth is anything but, in comparison to those other films. If TheLet down of the year. I'm a huge Eggers fan and love love love The Witch and The Lighthouse. I know this is a very different film that those above mentioned, but it's depth is anything but, in comparison to those other films. If The Lighthouse and the Witch are cinema then this is his "Marvel" film. Watching the trailer is enough to get the story. I don't even think it's possible to spoil this film, as the trailer tells you everything right up front. If you're loving Eggers for his innovation in storytelling, you've come to the wrong place for this one. Give The Lighhouse a rewatch instead. Major bummer. All meat and no bread, which is fine when you're watching a summer blockbuster like Independence Day or the like, but when it comes to artistic filmmakers, Eggers really dropped the ball. With that said, it looks good. The cinematography certainly doesn't fall flat, but it's not enough to save it from being quickly forgotten.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful00

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5

BroyaxJul 9, 2022

« L’Homme du Nord » revient se venger après bien des années, dans le bruit et la fureur… il s’appelle Hamlet… non, Amleth (!) et il porte sur ses épaules le poids du destin, du sang et de la haine… D’ailleurs, il pousse souvent son cri de« L’Homme du Nord » revient se venger après bien des années, dans le bruit et la fureur… il s’appelle Hamlet… non, Amleth (!) et il porte sur ses épaules le poids du destin, du sang et de la haine… D’ailleurs, il pousse souvent son cri de guerrier et c’est très impressionant, car en effet, il est un vrai Viking, élevé comme tel… dans le bruit et la fureur !

Le début du film est parfait, je crois qu’à vue de nez, ça doit faire un excellent premier quart : de quoi admirer (déjà) cette ambiance sombre, à la fois réaliste et ésotérique qui puise son inspiration régulièrement dans les mythes nordiques , d’ailleurs, les incantations ou autres cérémoniels sont en langue Viking, si j’ose m’exprimer ainsi, bref en langue des Hommes du Nord…!

Mise en scène fluide, plans-séquences étudiés, travellings soignés, montage judicieux, photographie magnifique… c’est du tout bon ! Les comédiens donnent le meilleur d’eux-mêmes, les comédiennes aussi (on aura remarqué l’énigmatique et fascinant visage d’Anya Taylor-Joy, l’égérie de la série Le Gambit de la Reine !). On aura également remarqué Ethan Hawk, étonnant et… -bien qu’elle assure dans son rôle, certes- Nicole Kidman ou une pseudo-Nicole Kidman, le visage déformé par beaucoup trop de charcudocs : seul son nez est resté d’origine… !!

Mais hélas, mille fois hélas, malgré ses qualités esthétiques et sa maîtrise, le film après son premier quart -ou un peu moins, sans doute une bonne demi-heure, je suppose- très brillant comme dit plus haut, le film disais-je, s’enlise dans une lenteur effarante !

Il faut dire que le scénario ne parvient pas à meubler une vengeance qui se traîne misérablement (deux heures et quart en tout) et pédale dans la semoule… L’impression demeure donc -après des débuts tonitruants- celle d’un théâtre en plein air… très beau mais ramolli et trop étiré. Cela fait penser à Valhalla Rising, l’autre film du Nord, qui misait tout sur son ambiance… et la note sera par conséquent leur second point commun : 5 ! des films très beaux et maîtrisés mais un peu trop chiants par ailleurs !… Expand

2 of 2 users found this helpful20

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5

VonSporkApr 28, 2022

I understand what they tried to do with this, being an artisticly great. I just didn't enojy it and would have preferred a more straight forward Viking action film.

6 of 14 users found this helpful68

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5

WatchinMoviesMay 21, 2022

This is really slow and the story isn't told well. Lots of confusion and turns boring quickly. This isn't a good movie by any stretch of the imagination, and isn't even as good as the Vikings movie with Kirk Douglas, Tony Curtis, Janet Leigh,This is really slow and the story isn't told well. Lots of confusion and turns boring quickly. This isn't a good movie by any stretch of the imagination, and isn't even as good as the Vikings movie with Kirk Douglas, Tony Curtis, Janet Leigh, and Ernest Borgnine in it.… Expand

1 of 3 users found this helpful12

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5

qribba81Apr 26, 2022

This movie is both problematic, filled with tropes and manages to be predictable and boring at the same time.

6 of 16 users found this helpful610

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5

brooke9113Apr 23, 2022

One of the most refreshing things I have watch in theatres. I wouldn’t even know where to start. Words cannot describe how beautiful this movie is. Must watch

3 of 11 users found this helpful38

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5

JayMalcolmJul 31, 2022

This LONG show has some good actors but they don't get to do much because the characters are all cardboard cutouts. The film gives you an affecting survey of the worst circumstances in medieval life, in case you thought slavery was anThis LONG show has some good actors but they don't get to do much because the characters are all cardboard cutouts. The film gives you an affecting survey of the worst circumstances in medieval life, in case you thought slavery was an American invention. Very gory, loud, and raunchy throughout! Not recommended for young people.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful00

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5

MovieWithMicahDec 23, 2022

I love a good revenge flick, but this movie got too lost in the Norse mythology for its own good. There were ~15 minutes of totally unnecessary and distracting animistic scenes that didn't add to the movie at all. The film would've benefitedI love a good revenge flick, but this movie got too lost in the Norse mythology for its own good. There were ~15 minutes of totally unnecessary and distracting animistic scenes that didn't add to the movie at all. The film would've benefited from those 15 minutes being cut down to about 2-3 minutes. Every time the film felt like it started going somewhere, we'd end up with several minutes of bizarre religious practices that killed the momentum.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful00

All this user's reviews

4

psychomuseJun 19, 2022

Though it has a very ambitious script, it falls surprisingly flat with the dialogue and directing. Visually it hits the mark, but the acting is less than compelling, and the story often meanders into unnecessary tangents from the plot. ThereThough it has a very ambitious script, it falls surprisingly flat with the dialogue and directing. Visually it hits the mark, but the acting is less than compelling, and the story often meanders into unnecessary tangents from the plot. There are better revenge movies; and, most definitely, better shows about Vikings.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful00

All this user's reviews

4

ZeedraakDec 26, 2022

The beginning with the young Amleth was bad with cringeworthy dialogue & acting, but it gets better. Although it never becomes a good film.

0 of 0 users found this helpful00

All this user's reviews

4

moviemitch96Apr 22, 2022

From director Robert Eggers ('The VVitch', 'The Lighthouse'), this Nordic epic sees a vengeful viking (Alexander Skarsgard) out to find and slay his traitorous uncle who murdered his father (Ethan Hawke) and claimed his mother (Nicole Kidman)From director Robert Eggers ('The VVitch', 'The Lighthouse'), this Nordic epic sees a vengeful viking (Alexander Skarsgard) out to find and slay his traitorous uncle who murdered his father (Ethan Hawke) and claimed his mother (Nicole Kidman) years ago in order to seize the throne. Sounds pretty familiar right? That's probably because a story like that has only been told dozens of times ('Hamlet', 'The Lion King's, you name it!) And unfortunately this rather uninspired story makes it almost entirely predictable and not particularly interesting from start to finish. Production values and the choreographed fights throughout are undeniably impressive, but they're all loud, obnoxious, bloody, sweaty, etc. Me personally, I've never been a huge fan of sword and sandal epics such as this. Other films such as this and '300' for example are nothing more than tasteless exercises in flaunting men with chiseled good looks and meathead masculinity as we watch their blood, sweat, and tears, along with kill after kill. Like I said, it's obnoxious, and I can't stand films like that, and this one is no different. Even the performances I can't say much for, with the only true standout being Skarsgard's fierce and committed performance. Everybody else is relegated to distracting and corny accents and hammy performances all around. Overall, see it if you must for some stunning production value and cinematography, along with an always reliably solid performance from Skarsgard, but otherwise, it won't really appeal to many others apart from those who are into big, loud, bloody, and stupid muscly men doing their thing (and also finding some time to lay in bed with their Queen while they're at it.)… Expand

5 of 18 users found this helpful513

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4

hnestlyontheslyJan 12, 2023

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. The Northman is a silly, cautionary tale about what happens when small indie movies have big budgets. The answer is a volcano fight.

I went in cold and didn't know it was going to be a gritty, Realistic (kind of?) retelling of the Hamlet story. Anya Taylor-Joy was in Robert Eggers's first film (The VVitch) and was underutilized, Friend and I both agree. There's this moment early on when she teams up with Alexander Skaarsgard and says that he can break people's bodies with his body and she can break men's minds with her mind, but then we never actually watch her do that. She uses her knowledge of the land to cause some problems, sure, and we see her run around a naughty little orgy, and be naked in a lot of places, but not that much mind **** Robert Eggers talks about how he's not able to watch The VVitch because he recognizes that his skills were not fully formed yet as a filmmaker, and my question is, what are the skills you fully formed where you feel like this is a film you can stand more proudly behind? It feels like Zack Synder but less stylized? He says it has to do with the amount of "grit" in the movie, but I think it's probably about the number of abs? We haven't even talked about white supremacy yet, and I'm not super interested in wading into whether that's even an issue worth considering.

The moments that are weird are great (Buzzfeed, of all places, has compiled a list I completely agree with about the top ten strangest, most distinctive choices in the film). The trippy scenes that diverge from reality are Friend's favorite moments, the sword fight in the catacomb, the oracle appearing upon his return, the crows and the noose. There's a single shot battle scene which is a thing of beauty for the objectification of violence. If I can give you a recommendation for something to look forward to, it's probably the Nordic haka after the hakunamatata scene when Amleth grows up.

But this is not that you need to rush to theaters for. I don't really know who this movie is for, except that it kind of reminds me of the Lighthouse in that it feels hyper masculine, macho, so if you're not into that you're gonna get turned off pretty quickly.… Expand

0 of 1 users found this helpful01

All this user's reviews

4

piglordofallhamMay 23, 2022

Why was the Valkyrie wearing braces? They didn't have that level of Dental technology back in 700 A.D. How ridiculous. 0/10 F- Terrible film from another terrible director that couldn't direct people to their seats in a movie theater ifWhy was the Valkyrie wearing braces? They didn't have that level of Dental technology back in 700 A.D. How ridiculous. 0/10 F- Terrible film from another terrible director that couldn't direct people to their seats in a movie theater if you paid him to.

Real talk? This was like "Conan" meets a documentary on Vikings dramatized TV show, so basically.. just like anything on television these days. Its extremely, shockingly, stupidly, bonecrushingly mediocre for what should've been a decent action movie. Then again, this is the guy who directed the "Witch" with double V's instead of a singular "w" in the title. The Viiiiitch, had a lot of similar problems, but it was much more compelling and was obviously more of fantasy film then anything based off an ancient culture like say- actual Vikings.

Witches aren't real, they never were, the family went nuts, and it doesn't really matter because its a compilation of a lot the microcosms and general issues people had going on way back when the pilgrim's came to North (or more accurately EAST) America. Viking action films inspired by Conan would be great, but this IS Conan except boring and bizarrely anti-climactic as well. Couldn't get into it, too many big names, too many pretty faces, too many shirtless men running around when we all knew that most of the time- they fought naked. A disturbing lack of nudity all around, which would've probably insulted real Vikings if they were alive today.… Expand

4 of 6 users found this helpful42

All this user's reviews

4

puddingplunderApr 29, 2022

Who wrote this dialogue? Not convinced by the accents. Appreciated the grittier realistic scenes in the villages but the supernatural elements felt way over the top. Ironic that the much lower budget “The Witch” was more mesmerizing andWho wrote this dialogue? Not convinced by the accents. Appreciated the grittier realistic scenes in the villages but the supernatural elements felt way over the top. Ironic that the much lower budget “The Witch” was more mesmerizing and convincing.… Expand

5 of 8 users found this helpful53

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4

ClayheadMay 26, 2022

Boring waste of time, file along with the other pretentious garbage the Green Knight

4 of 5 users found this helpful41

All this user's reviews

4

DHarlandMay 13, 2023

Hugely disappointing after the magnificent experience that was Eggers' The Lighthouse. This type of historical revenge epic has been done infinitely better in movies such as Gladiator or Braveheart. Skaarsgard doesn't convince as a lead andHugely disappointing after the magnificent experience that was Eggers' The Lighthouse. This type of historical revenge epic has been done infinitely better in movies such as Gladiator or Braveheart. Skaarsgard doesn't convince as a lead and acting is poor (also why doesn't he stand up straight?), the otherworldly elements don't blend well with the story and seem to be added on top, and the fight choreography is terribly bad for such a big film, looking scripted and unrealistic. The shouting and machismo throughout the film also seems forced and some scenes would have been more effective using more subtlety than displays of overt aggression.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful00

All this user's reviews

3

TomHugMay 20, 2022

Thin story with not enough emphasis on characters so you really don't care who kills whom, or who gets revenge against whom. Alexander Skarsgård carries this entire film. The film does have a successful overall look and feel, but I didn't buyThin story with not enough emphasis on characters so you really don't care who kills whom, or who gets revenge against whom. Alexander Skarsgård carries this entire film. The film does have a successful overall look and feel, but I didn't buy any of the relationships between the main characters, so the movie overall fell flat. Should have been fewer dance numbers, and more character interaction.… Expand

2 of 4 users found this helpful22

All this user's reviews

3

imthenoobJun 6, 2022

The Northman is nothing short of an absolute bore. The trailer spells out the plot, which is incredibly predictable, and it does very little to maintain your interest. Couple that with weak acting by the cast, some awful CG, and a runtimeThe Northman is nothing short of an absolute bore. The trailer spells out the plot, which is incredibly predictable, and it does very little to maintain your interest. Couple that with weak acting by the cast, some awful CG, and a runtime that is at least 20 minutes too long and you got yourself a pretty weak movie.

To me, It felt like a lot of the things we were seeing (especially the CG heavy scenes) were totally unnecessary and just there for padding. I wish things had been more grounded and practical but sadly they weren't. This one is a disappointment.… Expand

1 of 2 users found this helpful11

All this user's reviews

3

robomartionMay 22, 2022

The bar in cinema has been set so low in recent years that boring, non-eventful scenes are OK. Old movies used to have a story and progress it with meaningful events every moment. The opening CGI was terrible which led to a scene withThe bar in cinema has been set so low in recent years that boring, non-eventful scenes are OK. Old movies used to have a story and progress it with meaningful events every moment. The opening CGI was terrible which led to a scene with terrible set design, which led to Nicole Kidman doing her usual terrible acting to a drawn out scene with unintelligible dialogue. We switched the Northman off after 10 minutes because nothing had happened and changed it to Goldfinger which we managed to watch all the way to the end without even thinking about it.… Expand

2 of 4 users found this helpful22

All this user's reviews

3

snufkinMay 13, 2022

on one word. this movie is horrible. poor acting, poor script, poor fight scenes. just another wannabe Viking movie with big names on the sticker. a lot of potential with terrible outcome. i was bored most of the movie.

3 of 7 users found this helpful34

All this user's reviews

3

TomMondayMay 31, 2022

If you've never read Hamlet, there might be something here for you. But this version dispenses the mystery of who killed the King – "Amleth" sees his father's killer in first few minutes of the movie. So for two hours we just watch aIf you've never read Hamlet, there might be something here for you. But this version dispenses the mystery of who killed the King – "Amleth" sees his father's killer in first few minutes of the movie. So for two hours we just watch a slow-moving revenge story told through a series of predictably brutal scenes, mixed with quasi-spiritual montages. Why set this tale in the land of ancient Vikings? Like writer/director Eggers' previous two efforts (Lighthouse and Witch) there's no clear reason why the film exists. He can shoot a pretty picture, but storytelling and pacing and thematic relevance are beyond his grasp.… Expand

1 of 5 users found this helpful14

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3

MetacriticOnurMay 13, 2022

bad
[ bad ]

adjective, worse, worst;(Slang) bad·der, bad·dest for 36.
not good in any manner or degree.

3 of 10 users found this helpful37

All this user's reviews

3

EdBBApr 30, 2022

This movie is as good and entertaining as the Tree of life. It begins with Shakespearean dialogs as acted by high school graders with little drama talent. The story is nice but how it is portrayed and why it is made that way will remain aThis movie is as good and entertaining as the Tree of life. It begins with Shakespearean dialogs as acted by high school graders with little drama talent. The story is nice but how it is portrayed and why it is made that way will remain a mistery to be carried to Valhalla. I stepped out of the theater wishing I had chosen to watch sonic 2 instead of this.… Expand

5 of 12 users found this helpful57

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3

trinexx208May 15, 2022

This movie was a big let down. The acting is meh and some of the fight scenes were somewhat entertaining but overall it was boring and weird. Don't expect a vikings epic or fantasy epic its a boring tale of revenge and not a good one.

3 of 6 users found this helpful33

All this user's reviews

2

DamnedThingApr 26, 2022

As a huge fan of The Witch and The Lighthouse I was really looking forward to this, but it's flipping atrocious. TW & TL created small worlds with involving characters that pulled you into their madness. TN is just dull AF. There's no realAs a huge fan of The Witch and The Lighthouse I was really looking forward to this, but it's flipping atrocious. TW & TL created small worlds with involving characters that pulled you into their madness. TN is just dull AF. There's no real depth to any character, they're there to hit their mark and say the words with no real conviction towards being believeable - honestly, it feels like a series of vignettes of people doing first takes with awful stilted accents and worse dialogue. I love a bit of bloody violence and reading the reviews I was hoping for some Battle of the Bastards / Braveheart stylee full throttle aggression. There's just one short raid, which is pretty tame, and one sword fight at the end that..meh! The whole thing is just meh, it's like Eggers has had his whole creative spark snuffed out making this and all that's left is the withered soul of a body and mind that has been broken by a bigger budget. My wife, who's squeamish at best, practically **** when a wandering nobody let his guts spill out...serious regional am-dram society overacting at its worst. Since when have critics suddenly become more squeamish that a 55yo woman who hates gore - snowflakes. Also: cinematography is insipid; music is awful; direction is plodding.

A waste of time and effort. The reviews now feel like they were written to be encouraging to Eggers based on his previous trajectory rather than an honest appraisal of a duff movie. Gets 2 points because Bjork, and the fact that I didn't walk out - something I haven't done since Highlander 3, although I was very tempted here.… Expand

5 of 16 users found this helpful511

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2

raporgiMay 21, 2022

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Its not a Viking skinned Conan that's for sure even though it lifts certain scenes from that movie. Some very cringe acting and weird nordic(supposedly) tinged English. As with Eggz previous films its all about the atmosphere. The movie cant seem to find its footing and doesnt know what it wants to be. Not enough action or boobs to be barbarian flick not enough mystery or horror to be a whodunnit. Its a pretty dull affair, I cannot understand what the fuss is all about. The fight choreography feels too artsy and rushed. Honestly the actor from True Blood cannot act, its just sad and tragic watching him try to act.… Expand

3 of 6 users found this helpful33

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2

shag00Mar 3, 2023

By most accounts this is a good movie which leads me to believe there must be two versions of it because the version I saw was definitely not a good movie. There is a lot written about how the scene settings were so close to actual 8thBy most accounts this is a good movie which leads me to believe there must be two versions of it because the version I saw was definitely not a good movie. There is a lot written about how the scene settings were so close to actual 8th century life and yet in the movie (and also on the trailer on this page) there is a scene of a guy on a flying horse wearing braces - and here I was thinking that braces did not really become a thing until the 2nd half of the 20th century.

There is an absurd amount of guys screaming which we are informed was an 8th century thing as well - thank christ that's over and done with. The few sex scenes seemed authentic - at least the guys took their pants off. To me the director confused the religion of the day with fantasy witchcraft and it showed, poorly.

One main setting, Iceland is considerably more lush than any photo I have ever seen and considerably more so than how the movie dialogue itself describes Iceland, that of being desolate. And one of the scenes, after killing everyone they ride to the coast and find a ship there. It just struck me that the chances of that are so low as to be next to impossible. But the boat scene just gets better, after convincing the captain that he is taking the prince's place he sails a small distance and decides to jump out and swim to the shore. Again, the chances of that are next to zero (life expectancy in artic seas in normal clothes is measured in minutes).

So it's a long way from realistic, the camera work is nothing special, the story is a straight revenge plot with no twists and it does not really have you on the edge of your seat. That pretty much makes it a waste of time to see.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful00

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2

LSUcajunMay 11, 2022

Acting, story, and writing sucked. If they would have stayed with the berserker theme for the whole movie instead of attempting to go all philosophical and failing miserably it could have been great. Cinematography gets an A+.

6 of 13 users found this helpful67

All this user's reviews

2

MoviecriticbombApr 23, 2022

This movie was BAD. Not sure why it’s receiving such praise. A jester comes in makes a joke to the King and then Defoe is reused in a mask giving the king’s son initiation, asking “How are you human?” And the king and his son burp and fart.This movie was BAD. Not sure why it’s receiving such praise. A jester comes in makes a joke to the King and then Defoe is reused in a mask giving the king’s son initiation, asking “How are you human?” And the king and his son burp and fart. That kind of sums up the movie. The theater I was at erupted with laughter at most of the rituals and dances. This movie also couldn’t tell when the characters needed to speak old Viking language and when to speak English. The scenery is beautiful but the movie is so low budget each Billings carried like 12 soldiers and I think all the extras were just reused. The fight scenes are very slow, sluggish and poorly choreographed. The movie also takes many breaks from the plot to show dream sequences that aren’t really needed but are there. All in all, the Witch was better, this wasn’t good… Expand

9 of 27 users found this helpful918

All this user's reviews

2

KlebartMay 9, 2022

I wouldn't believe all those high reviews. The movie is dull. Don't expect it to be historically accurate or have the story to grab you. It won't. The movie also tries and fails to invest a supernatural aspect to the film well except, II wouldn't believe all those high reviews. The movie is dull. Don't expect it to be historically accurate or have the story to grab you. It won't. The movie also tries and fails to invest a supernatural aspect to the film well except, I guess, for the one scene that was partially stolen from Conan the Barbarian.… Expand

7 of 14 users found this helpful77

All this user's reviews

2

beefalo16Apr 25, 2022

I went in not knowing anything about the movie. I was horribly disappointed.

The dialog was atrocious, and the manner in which they spoke was ridiculous. I could have sounded more convincing. Now this may be due to some kind of historicalI went in not knowing anything about the movie. I was horribly disappointed.

The dialog was atrocious, and the manner in which they spoke was ridiculous. I could have sounded more convincing. Now this may be due to some kind of historical accuracy or lost in translation kind of thing. If the latter is the case, I honestly would prefer them to speak in their native language and give me subtitles.

The basic plot was a simple revenge story which would be fine. However, towards the end, the main character suddenly gained plot weakness and did stupid things/wasn't as strong in combat.

Theres a lot of "artsy" scenes with muted/simple colors and people doing strange things like weird dances, acting like animals, etc. Feels like the whole movie was made to try to win an award for cinematography.

Overall the movie was pretty boring as well, wasted a lot of time doing pointless stuff because "fate" had determined when he should strike.… Expand

6 of 20 users found this helpful614

All this user's reviews

2

KirbyboyMay 7, 2022

An extremely basic plot. A lot of scenes were completely unnecessary and boring to watch. Only bonus was the scenery in the second half of the movie. Felt like nothing really happened in the movie.

6 of 13 users found this helpful67

All this user's reviews

2

SanB00Jun 7, 2022

Not the worst movie overall, but way too many special scenes that made no sense. Plot wasn't airtight. The acting itself was quite good imo. Just way too many scenes where i literally said 'wtf' to myself.

0 of 1 users found this helpful01

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1

GinaKApr 25, 2022

One star in honor of all the actors who had to slog through the mud to make this awful movie. I have seen at least two fine films directed by Eggers in the past with more or less no budget. One great example – The Lighthouse. A sad andOne star in honor of all the actors who had to slog through the mud to make this awful movie. I have seen at least two fine films directed by Eggers in the past with more or less no budget. One great example – The Lighthouse. A sad and annoying afternoon at the movies.… Expand

7 of 20 users found this helpful713

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1

RigafanMay 8, 2022

The 1 rating is only because the acting is fine, and the visual is fine, everything else can be overlooked and isn't worth your time or money. I came into this movie expecting something like, Kingdom of Heaven, but Norse/Viking version -The 1 rating is only because the acting is fine, and the visual is fine, everything else can be overlooked and isn't worth your time or money. I came into this movie expecting something like, Kingdom of Heaven, but Norse/Viking version - wrong. It is a generic, rushed and seems to only have been made for the main actor to show off his physic at every available point. The TV show on Amazon is much more 'real' and interesting with real storytelling. Don't fall for the reviews and praise.… Expand

9 of 16 users found this helpful97

All this user's reviews

1

InspexorMay 2, 2022

It's a good movie for a trashy-movie-night with your friends i guess.
When i went to the movie with my friends we had to hold back laughter for like half of the time.
The reason behind this is that you can't take the movie serious forIt's a good movie for a trashy-movie-night with your friends i guess.
When i went to the movie with my friends we had to hold back laughter for like half of the time.

The reason behind this is that you can't take the movie serious for various reasons

1.) a very flat and predictable story; the classic good guy vs bad guy; why is the bad guy bad? because he wanted more power or sth; and not to forget the classic "coincidental" romance that developes and that the good guy is the "chosen one" bla bla bla

2.) the characters and their behaviour is not believable at all and they sometimes act out of character for absolutely no reason - i just have that picture in mind where this guy's family gets killed and he just stands in the doorway and watches; not an inch of emotion lmao; it's no natural reaction in any way for no human being ever

3.) 0 historical accuracy; nearly nothing about what i saw about "northmen" in that movie is actually true; they get depicted like what a child would describe them to be and nearly every stereotype people have about vikings was glorified in that movie; the only thing that's missing is that they get horns on their helmets lol

4.) In general not very believable stuff and unnecessary drama like climbing a defense wall with nothing but an axe and hands; a boy only gets pushed to the ground and dies but not really (?); weird plot twists that don't make any sense; deus ex machina moments; very unrealistic fighting scenes...

I could go on and on about what's trashy about the movie but appearently according to the average ratings on this site trashy isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Just not my type of movie unfortunately.… Expand

5 of 12 users found this helpful57

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1

Film123Apr 28, 2022

Overmuscled actors, a botoxed up Nic, incomprehensible English, nice shots of Iceland, and loads of Viking mysticism, most of it vaguely like what we see of Indians in westerns, not a good experience and tedious

5 of 13 users found this helpful58

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1

nocageApr 23, 2022

I went to this movie with high expectations only to be very very disappointed. It was one of the worst movies of my life and I've seen a lot of movies. It doesn't even compare to a decent TV show. I felt like I should get my money back.

11 of 30 users found this helpful1119

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1

wanna_Apr 24, 2022

The violence verges on porn levels. Definitely gratuitous. I don't mind violence in a film if there are characters and a story that I care about. Neither in this case. There is so little dialogue for me to get to know the people. And whatThe violence verges on porn levels. Definitely gratuitous. I don't mind violence in a film if there are characters and a story that I care about. Neither in this case. There is so little dialogue for me to get to know the people. And what dialogue there is often very difficult to understand because the (fake) accents are so overdone. And so many different types. There is almost no respite from the brutality. Yeah, I get it. Vikings/Ancient Norse were cruel. But I came for entertainment, not a documentary. So much Norse mythology (I guess), but as someone unfamiliar with that culture, I was completely lost most of the time, and it had no meaning for me nor delivered any significance to what little story there was. I really wanted my two hours plus back afterwards. It was a very rough watch, to no enjoyment. (I only give it a 'one' rather than 'zero' because some of the scenery is pretty.) I wished I'd gone to see 'Secrets of Dumbledore' instead; and that's saying a lot.… Expand

6 of 22 users found this helpful616

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1

Sofi2022Apr 24, 2022

The worst film I saw in years,almost left the theatre in the middle.too long,there is actually no plot,just boring

7 of 24 users found this helpful717

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1

cyndisueApr 24, 2022

I thought it was truly awful. Not a single character was likable in any way. Even Skarsgard was so grim, filthy, and the constant references to his "stench" just made me want to walk out.

6 of 21 users found this helpful615

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1

ArminDRKJul 9, 2022

Good visuals but really bad acting,poor dialogues,poor plot,poor directing.

2 of 3 users found this helpful21

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1

diegoserenaDec 3, 2022

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. One of the worst movie ever seen. The plot is completely absurd. The director did not figure out how to end it… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful00

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0

cbibejsMay 16, 2022

Worst Viking movie filmed ever. Directing, acting (except Björk) , story is bad.

2 of 7 users found this helpful25

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0

brunojbfMay 15, 2022

Wow, this is so…. boring and repetitive. One more Nordic “art” filled with a lot of pagan stuffs. Not recommended.

3 of 7 users found this helpful34

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0

base_dDec 19, 2022

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. This show deserves a 0. It has so many plot-holes and just to see high reviews shows how so many of these people or bots(likely bots) will watch anything and like it without using their brain. One example I will share. When the north-man says he has relatives in another area they can escape too, after being slaves mind you and in a hot tub after they escape, An Uber with a boat shows up from his relatives. If you defend that major plot-hole, then why didn't he flee when his father was killed by his brother to these so called relatives? Such a stupid story and terrible writing. What a mess. And above thats just one example of the trash of a movie called The Northman.… Expand

1 of 1 users found this helpful10

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0

turonApr 24, 2022

Lenta, aburrida, predecible. Espera a que salga en alguna plataforma para verla en tu televisor del salón. The Crown and the Ring es una canción brutal por desgracia la película NO.

4 of 29 users found this helpful425

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0

redmalmApr 27, 2022

I am so sick and tired to my core of seeing a 3 hour movie only to exit the cinema going "it looked nice, but..."

6 of 25 users found this helpful619

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0

msosaApr 28, 2022

"n o t a s g o o d a s m o r b i u s: a n e w m a r v e l l e g e n d" - Nelson Mandela ✊

1 of 16 users found this helpful115

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0

KingbobonoMay 30, 2022

I am a big fan of any vikings movies/series but this is the worst movie I have seen in the last decade. Half of the people in the cinema left before the end. Bad story, bad acting, horrible music, bad everything.

2 of 7 users found this helpful25

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0

JuewleeeJun 7, 2022

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. I have watched a TON of viking movies and this was theeeee worst EVER!!!! Crappy stunts...bad acting, the story plot??? Not entertainment worthy! Bought it on Amazon Prime and was Soooo disappointed! As I love viking movies!… Expand

1 of 2 users found this helpful11

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The Northman

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