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2

lennycliff123Mar 29, 2014

This film would be laughable if it wasn't so depressing, and by depressing I mean Aronofsky's blatant disregard for the Bible account he supposedly drew inspiration from.

I wish I had walked out but I was compelled by a morbid desire toThis film would be laughable if it wasn't so depressing, and by depressing I mean Aronofsky's blatant disregard for the Bible account he supposedly drew inspiration from.

I wish I had walked out but I was compelled by a morbid desire to see just how bad it could get. In that respect I wasn't disappointed.… Expand

24 of 39 users found this helpful2415

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3

allisonjane65Mar 28, 2014

While not the worst film I've ever seen, Noah has to be one of, if not the most disappointing.

I was under no illusion that this would be 100% faithful to the source material, and some embellishment was to be expected, but what AronofskyWhile not the worst film I've ever seen, Noah has to be one of, if not the most disappointing.

I was under no illusion that this would be 100% faithful to the source material, and some embellishment was to be expected, but what Aronofsky has done is inexcusable and absurd.

What a wasted opportunity.… Expand

30 of 51 users found this helpful3021

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3

phillytomMar 28, 2014

If you believe in the Biblical version of the story of Noah, this is not the movie for you. However, if you are a transformer fan, you're right at home. The actors were solid in their performance. Hollywood creators never cease to amazeIf you believe in the Biblical version of the story of Noah, this is not the movie for you. However, if you are a transformer fan, you're right at home. The actors were solid in their performance. Hollywood creators never cease to amaze me. How do you get rocks to act like transformers and yet when their job is finished they get beamed up to heaven. I will NOT recommend this movie to my friends.… Expand

24 of 41 users found this helpful2417

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1

antmolly1995Mar 29, 2014

There's a well worn phrase "if it ain't broke don't fix it". Why Aronofsky felt the need to tamper with an epic story that would/could have been thrilling and thought provoking in it's unadulterated form baffles me.

What we've been givenThere's a well worn phrase "if it ain't broke don't fix it". Why Aronofsky felt the need to tamper with an epic story that would/could have been thrilling and thought provoking in it's unadulterated form baffles me.

What we've been given instead is a crude lecture on environmentalism fused with an utterly corrupted Bible account and a large dose of misanthrope thrown in for good measure.

I hope this bombs at the box office and forces everyone involved with this rubbish to give pause for thought.… Expand

23 of 40 users found this helpful2317

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0

WarKittensMar 29, 2014

I learned some things from this movie! Apparently Methuselah was Gandalf! And Noah built the ark with the help of rock elementals! And "righteous in the eyes of God" means "psychotic homicidal maniac"! And when the Bible says "Noah and ShemI learned some things from this movie! Apparently Methuselah was Gandalf! And Noah built the ark with the help of rock elementals! And "righteous in the eyes of God" means "psychotic homicidal maniac"! And when the Bible says "Noah and Shem and Ham and Japeth, the sons of Noah, and Noah's wife and the three wives of his sons with them, entered the ark" it REALLY means "Noah, his wife, his kids, Shem's wife, and this guy who snuck on board and tried to kill Noah"! And those explicit instructions in Genesis for how to build the ark? Really that was a cryptic acid trip where nothing was really explained. Thank you Darren Aronofsky for setting me straight. I thought that I knew how to read, but apparently I was wrong! And thank you Russel Crowe for your most dynamic performance yet!

for those who can't tell, this is all sarcasm.… Expand

16 of 28 users found this helpful1612

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1

hayceelynt_2Mar 29, 2014

I can't believe how many positive reviews there are from professional critics! Were they threatened?! Bribed?! Or did they just see a different movie than me.

This has surely got to be an early contender for worst movie of the year.

18 of 32 users found this helpful1814

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2

lenny68Mar 28, 2014

What do you get if you mix 130 million dollars, a talented but clearly misguided director and a story believed and respected by hundreds of millions of people around the world.

In this instance, a nonsensical mess thats what. The 2What do you get if you mix 130 million dollars, a talented but clearly misguided director and a story believed and respected by hundreds of millions of people around the world.

In this instance, a nonsensical mess thats what.

The 2 points are for a few striking scenes in an otherwise dreadful movie.… Expand

31 of 56 users found this helpful3125

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1

tuneintofansMar 31, 2014

first of all they get almost everything wrong. If you are going to do a historic piece, you should at least try to keep the story correct. only the names re the same and there is an arc full of animals and birds, etc. that is where it endsfirst of all they get almost everything wrong. If you are going to do a historic piece, you should at least try to keep the story correct. only the names re the same and there is an arc full of animals and birds, etc. that is where it ends being the story of noah. Cain kills Able and starts an industrial society, according to the narrator, but since when did people in an industrialized society still run around in ragged clothes and animal skins and use clubs and swords? And then fallen angels come down to help mankind and are crusted with volcanic rock as punishment from God. That's so wrong, I'm not even going there. And it just gets worse. Noah is supposedly given the decision to save or destroy all of mankind, by God, and he chooses to destroy all. so this is offensive not only Christians, but to anyone who ever saw a great story come to screen, and it was all screwed up by Hollywood.… Expand

16 of 29 users found this helpful1613

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3

dave495Mar 28, 2014

Movie held at best 10% of the biblical version of the story. Acting is ok but too many rock monsters for my liking - I mean ROCK monsters! LOL. Noah is very scary as a character & not at all likeable. want those 2 1/2 hours of my life back.

19 of 35 users found this helpful1916

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0

FantasygirlMar 29, 2014

Absolutely horrible! They made Noah look like a fumbling idiot, chasing down his daughter-n-law trying to murder her twin babies because God said only a certain amount could live. He doubted God in the movie and had no hope. The worst partAbsolutely horrible! They made Noah look like a fumbling idiot, chasing down his daughter-n-law trying to murder her twin babies because God said only a certain amount could live. He doubted God in the movie and had no hope. The worst part was the rock monsters with glowing eyes who helped build the ark! Say what???????????????????? What the heck? This was more science fiction then biblical. Who came up with rock monsters???? I couldn't believe my eyes! Worse movie ever! The only thing that resembled the bible story was the name Noah, an ark, rain, and the dove. And get this! The villain in the movie even stowes away with them on the ark after the earth has flooded and Noah's son helps plan his father's murder! Say what? Horrible movie!!!! Don't waste your precious money. I want mine back!… Expand

16 of 30 users found this helpful1614

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0

SpazzBrozzMar 28, 2014

I want to know who is responsible for the story of this film; whoever it was needs to be fired... immediately! I believe fiction can only be taken so far. 0/10 would not watch.

21 of 40 users found this helpful2119

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1

paulmarsMar 29, 2014

Are you kidding me? What, they ran out of comic book super-heroes to make blockbusters out of so Hollywood is resorting to Bible characters?
And even a bible-based movie has to have talking sci-fi monsters to sell tickets to the massesAre you kidding me? What, they ran out of comic book super-heroes to make blockbusters out of so Hollywood is resorting to Bible characters?
And even a bible-based movie has to have talking sci-fi monsters to sell tickets to the masses these days?
I predict in 20 years people then will be laughing at just how cheezy movies today were - like people laugh today at Godzilla movies from the 60s.

Besides that, it basically was horrible in most every other way. Bad acting, fight scene after fight scene, boring CGI scenery. God help us!… Expand

16 of 31 users found this helpful1615

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2

ericisadogMar 28, 2014

Incoherent, confusing, and completely stupid. Major plot holes, overlong, and entirely unfun. wayyyyyyyyyy too damn long. if you have small children accompanying you whilst watching this film, be prepared to give them "the talk". not aboutIncoherent, confusing, and completely stupid. Major plot holes, overlong, and entirely unfun. wayyyyyyyyyy too damn long. if you have small children accompanying you whilst watching this film, be prepared to give them "the talk". not about sex, but about incest. remember incest=wincest!!!… Expand

20 of 39 users found this helpful2019

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3

WillADOCMar 28, 2014

This was extremely disappointing. Yes the special effects were cool but that was about it. The story line was... Noah-esque perhaps? It had little to nothing to do with the bible story of Noah. Amid a large number of Christian movies comingThis was extremely disappointing. Yes the special effects were cool but that was about it. The story line was... Noah-esque perhaps? It had little to nothing to do with the bible story of Noah. Amid a large number of Christian movies coming out at this time, people should be aware going in that it is NOT a Christian. It's really an environmental movie. It was less Charleton Heston's 'The Ten Commandments' and far more 'The Day After Tomorrow' or 'Birdemic'. Just terrible, the whole thing.… Expand

22 of 43 users found this helpful2221

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9

docarmobrunoApr 5, 2014

Simply amazing! I get stuck all the course of the film, to the dip of the plot and to the grandiose special effects. Great acting, great elements of emotion, drama, angst, and very few cliches and predictable elements. People who becameSimply amazing! I get stuck all the course of the film, to the dip of the plot and to the grandiose special effects. Great acting, great elements of emotion, drama, angst, and very few cliches and predictable elements. People who became negative this movie, most certainly mixed their religion and their beliefs. I as an atheist, I attended an amazing story extremely well executed visually and sonically.… Expand

15 of 31 users found this helpful1516

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9

SimpleReviewzMar 31, 2014

Before we start, let's make a note about the controversies surrounding the movie. So many people got sensitive because it wasn't their "exact interpretation" of the story. Settle down. Be thankful that someone in HOLLYWOOD actually made aBefore we start, let's make a note about the controversies surrounding the movie. So many people got sensitive because it wasn't their "exact interpretation" of the story. Settle down. Be thankful that someone in HOLLYWOOD actually made a movie about this biblical tale. Now, time to review. Darren Aronosky (hope I spelled that right) is at it again with one of the most destructive and action-packed tales from the Bible. Who better to do it? Noah is a home run in terms of movie making and sits along with Requiem of a Dream and Black Swan in a stalemate. Everybody in the movie does a fantastic job and all feel equal in terms of skill and screen time. While it doesn't have as much action as you'd expect, the drama is still amazing and even sad at times. Speaking of action, what you do get is phenomenal. Giant rock men fighting against regular men with armor and spears, destructive water effects, and my jaw was open so many times during the action. But sadly, I felt there wasn't enough. I'd never want it to be a Michael Bay kind of movie, but if I got 15-30 minutes more of action, I'd be very satisfied. Another flaw I noticed was that it can be a little hard to follow at times. A few times I thought to myself "OK...let me think this over...". While the story can be harsh at times, I appreciated these parts and they make the movie feel like something different. There's so much more to say, but you should already get the gist that you should see this movie. It's worth every penny.… Expand

17 of 36 users found this helpful1719

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9

ScrawnyPunkApr 2, 2014

I felt this movie was astounding – flawed, but astounding. It is what it wants to be and it does not bow to convention. It is both a block buster and a psychological character study. It is both Biblical and inventive. It is both digitalI felt this movie was astounding – flawed, but astounding. It is what it wants to be and it does not bow to convention. It is both a block buster and a psychological character study. It is both Biblical and inventive. It is both digital and auteur. It is also, obviously, very thought-provoking…which is more than can be said for most big movies these days.

What this movie is – a VERY loose interpretation of the Biblical flood story, with tiny packets of the Book of Enoch and the Qu’ran to flesh out the back story. As with most Aronofsky films, it is primarily a psychological study. What exactly does faith mean when it requires a man to let ALL OF HUMANITY DIE? If that man is sane, how does he react? Cope? Adjust to change? What are the depths of his despair if he feels that his familial compassion equate to failing his God? These are the questions posed in Noah, and it does a fairly (but not exceedingly) good job working through them.

What this movie is not – a Bible study or lesson in Theology. However, biblical accuracy is not one of my criteria for movie critiques. It would be akin to stating “Dante’s Inferno is HORRIBLE…there is no evidence for nine circles whatsoever in any religious text!” Obviously, such a criticism would miss the point. My suggestion is that if you are looking for Biblical consistency you should probably go see Son of God instead.

There are some slight flaws (e.g. the strength with which Mickey Rourke carries The Wrestler is in a different league than Russel Crowe’s performance; diversions into implied veganism and earth-first philosophy detract from the larger character study, etc.) but the good outweighs the bad. I choose to believe this movie is a step in the evolution of movies as both big and thought-provoking, and I quite liked it.… Expand

15 of 32 users found this helpful1517

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9

theofficeMar 31, 2014

I don't get all the negative reviews and hate. On one end people are mad because of this director's interpretation of the story in the Bible. On the other end people won't like it because it has to do with the Bible. And then you will haveI don't get all the negative reviews and hate. On one end people are mad because of this director's interpretation of the story in the Bible. On the other end people won't like it because it has to do with the Bible. And then you will have people not like for other stupid political reasons not even mentioned. I get it.... for some reason the film is polarizing. This movie is NOT the same as the cartoon movie you saw as a kid (yes people that is also one guy's interpretation). However it does have essentially everything that is in the Bible with some artistic flair which is cool with me. Sure they don't say "God" but everybody knows "The Creator" is "God" so whatever... that does kinda bug me but I won't hate on it too much. In any case I enjoyed the movie. It has good action, a pretty faithful telling of the story, interesting take on the pre-flood world, fantastic acting etc. I think you guys need to see the movie for what it is and not make it more than it sets out to be. It's a really good film.… Expand

19 of 41 users found this helpful1922

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2

jcjs33Mar 28, 2014

bleak, too slow, drab, no laughter, no smile, historically inaccurate not that i care...as i was leaving theater a woman said 'that was horrible'...i tried hard to like it because i liked Aronofsky's 'Wrestler' and 'Pi' and Black Swan ableak, too slow, drab, no laughter, no smile, historically inaccurate not that i care...as i was leaving theater a woman said 'that was horrible'...i tried hard to like it because i liked Aronofsky's 'Wrestler' and 'Pi' and Black Swan a little but this was so drab, drawn out...nothing to it...bad news flick.… Expand

18 of 40 users found this helpful1822

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1

sirkelMar 29, 2014

This movie has zero to do with the true Noah in the Bible, and should be considered blasphemy against the truth of God's history provided for us in the Bible. This is typical Hollywood garbage trying to make money from the hype that followedThis movie has zero to do with the true Noah in the Bible, and should be considered blasphemy against the truth of God's history provided for us in the Bible. This is typical Hollywood garbage trying to make money from the hype that followed the popularity of that Bible TV show. Apparently they missed the point they need to follow the real story of the Bible not a made up fantasy using Bible characters and general story back drop. I can just see people who know little to nothing about the truth actually think this is what really happened. Sad very sad indeed, but what should we expect from immoral establishment media who hates Christianity and truth.… Expand

17 of 38 users found this helpful1721

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1

namelessMar 30, 2014

First hour is fine but then it turns into a talk fest with the director making the mistake that if he shows the characters experiencing emotion we will feel it.... doesn't work. The second half slowly dies until you are just waiting for it toFirst hour is fine but then it turns into a talk fest with the director making the mistake that if he shows the characters experiencing emotion we will feel it.... doesn't work. The second half slowly dies until you are just waiting for it to be over. The actors are doing an excellent job but there just isn't enough to save it. Don't waste your money, see it on cable where you can watch the best parts and then turn it off.… Expand

15 of 35 users found this helpful1520

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10

ByarruMar 30, 2014

An incredible movie with great graphics, story and characters. As a christian I do not find a unique interpretation of the Noah story a bad thing. No, on the contrary I think it is a really good thing - if I want to read the actual story,An incredible movie with great graphics, story and characters. As a christian I do not find a unique interpretation of the Noah story a bad thing. No, on the contrary I think it is a really good thing - if I want to read the actual story, I'll read the Bible. The Noah is not a retelling, but rather an attempt to understand the values and to make the short tale something bigger and more complex. And they did it right - drama made me weep, action made me thrilled, conclusion gave me feeling of hope and happiness… Expand

36 of 87 users found this helpful3651

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9

ThegodfathersonMar 28, 2014

Ultimately, Noah is a powerful but complicated experience that’s deeply fascinating in the way it subverts expectations. It will crash over you like the flood itself, knocking you back, allowing you to take in awe-inspiring visuals but alsoUltimately, Noah is a powerful but complicated experience that’s deeply fascinating in the way it subverts expectations. It will crash over you like the flood itself, knocking you back, allowing you to take in awe-inspiring visuals but also forcing you to contemplate complex questions. An absorbing character study and an action epic all at once, Noah is a highly ambitious, largely successful outing for its director and star.… Expand

20 of 49 users found this helpful2029

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2

Unsung_PaladinMar 28, 2014

I walked out of the theater and dearly wished I hadn't wasted $10 and two hours of my life. Have you ever heard of Tommy Wiseau's The Room? That movie was a cinematic masterpiece in comparison.

16 of 40 users found this helpful1624

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9

splitshockMar 28, 2014

Excellent movie! Highly engaging & greatly acted! Some amazing bible themed CG set pieces spread across! Outstanding score by Clint Mansell will drive you from start to final credit roll!!! Amazing movie

19 of 48 users found this helpful1929

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7

SchroederRockDec 12, 2018

I give it a 7 based on how the movie finishes, not how it started because it had a rather rigid start. I was somewhat bored with the first 15-20 minutes and didn't feel like the story was set up that well, which would have really paidI give it a 7 based on how the movie finishes, not how it started because it had a rather rigid start. I was somewhat bored with the first 15-20 minutes and didn't feel like the story was set up that well, which would have really paid dividends later. But once you get through the odd introduction and get rolling with the film, substance suddenly appears. The fallen angels idea was a fun fantasy insertion and the depiction of Noah at times makes good on the observations found in the book of Genesis and how Noah may not have been what we'd consider a saint but was a foundationally-good and noble man that God could work with to restart mankind after the corruption of Cain. The special effects were pretty solid and the casting was overall well executed. It's not a movie I'd love and I may not watch it again but when the film wrapped up I was at least somewhat happy I watched it. If the second half had been less interesting or fumbled like parts of the first half were, I would have probably come away with an indifferent 5 or 6 rating instead. The building of the ark, which is a significant detail of the original story, is almost glossed over and handed off to supernatural beings (not a spoiler), at least in part. This aspect would have been a huge opportunity to expand upon the trials of the wilderness and Noah's family keeping their ark project a secret but the producers didn't feel the building portion to be all that important to focus on. Worth a watch if you're interested in the story the movie is lifted from but as for historical accuracy/source accuracy, it's probably about 50%-60% accurate and the rest is either creative license and outright Hollywood hogwash.… Expand

2 of 2 users found this helpful20

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0

schmoresMar 31, 2014

Confused, baffling, overly violent humourless and contrived, Noah suffers from a complete lack of focus and direction (other than into the belly of a difficultly realised arc) which leaves its actors struggling, its epic set pieces cold andConfused, baffling, overly violent humourless and contrived, Noah suffers from a complete lack of focus and direction (other than into the belly of a difficultly realised arc) which leaves its actors struggling, its epic set pieces cold and its emotional engagement minimal.

Topped with some bizarre outfit choices, a scattering of rock monsters and Ray Winstone typecast as himself you wind up with a quasi sci-fi epic that lacks the cohesive world of Lord of the Rings (surely there was enough source material in the Bible), the gritty post apocalyptic 90s charm of Water World (wheres Dennis Hopper when you need him) and the full on visceral action of Transformers (epic titans falling from the sky sent to protect humanity anyone) all of which it shamelessly apes.

Russel Crowe appearing from the depths of a (very brief) drunken stupor wandering down a beach in a Noah era dinner jacket was really the icing on a 2 1/2 hour struggle.

From the director that brought us the amazing Requiem for a Dream, Black Swan and The Wrestler this is a depressing fall from grace.

Michael Bay all is forgiven.… Expand

12 of 20 users found this helpful128

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2

BB_CriticMay 20, 2015

Noah is one of the worst pieces of crap of 2014. The movie doesn't follow the story correctly and half the events in the movie don't make sense. At least the CGI and acting are decent. But by god what an overrated movie. I would recommendNoah is one of the worst pieces of crap of 2014. The movie doesn't follow the story correctly and half the events in the movie don't make sense. At least the CGI and acting are decent. But by god what an overrated movie. I would recommend this only to hardcore Darren Aronofsky fans, but no one else. 2/10… Expand

3 of 5 users found this helpful32

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0

tyrealsanJul 11, 2014

I just saw this movie and I regret every minute of it. This is the first thing I'm doing after the movie was over, writing a review of how bad it was.

4 of 7 users found this helpful43

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3

JLuis_001Sep 6, 2017

By far the worst and weaker film in Aronofsky career. It's still hard for me to see how he messed up so bad. Russell Crowe barely does enough while the rest of the cast is as useless as the script.

4 of 7 users found this helpful43

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0

kechmocashMar 31, 2014

Not Biblical except for a very few references. The special effects were pedestrian, at best. We were so disappointed, having looked forward to the movie. We should have walked out when the first words on the screen were, "In the beginning,Not Biblical except for a very few references. The special effects were pedestrian, at best. We were so disappointed, having looked forward to the movie. We should have walked out when the first words on the screen were, "In the beginning, there was.....nothing"! Or perhaps when the rock beasts showed up! Don't waste your time or money!… Expand

10 of 18 users found this helpful108

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10

l4zy610Apr 6, 2014

Amazing visuals, great acting and a really good story. I really didn't know Emma Watson was that good. I enjoyed the movie very much. Not a penny was wasted.

13 of 24 users found this helpful1311

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0

n0junkMar 29, 2014

If you eat meat then you must die... well that is what this movie is about. Humans are evil because we eat meat and need to be wiped off the earth. The action in the movie was outweighed by the boring boat ride. I noticed a bunch of peopleIf you eat meat then you must die... well that is what this movie is about. Humans are evil because we eat meat and need to be wiped off the earth. The action in the movie was outweighed by the boring boat ride. I noticed a bunch of people walk out at that point. I would have too if I hadn't been with some friends. Turns out I wasn't the only one in my group that wanted to walk out. Not only am I mad that I paid for the movie, but I probably won't watch another movie in theaters for a while. Yep, that bad.… Expand

13 of 24 users found this helpful1311

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7

M9kiApr 29, 2014

An interesting movie to say none the less it never stops amazing you. Finally a religious movie that raises the roof and exposes what will happen to the wicked hearted.

11 of 21 users found this helpful1110

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0

LowbrowCinemaMar 29, 2014

NOAH is overproduced and just plain awful. Metacritic requires 150 characters but I can't come up with any more to describe this total vapid mess of a movie.

13 of 26 users found this helpful1313

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10

KirbyehApr 4, 2014

Dont listen to the RELIGIOUS NUT CASES reviewing them they sleep with there dear old bibles every night and feed their bibles with their mouths. When they walk out of the house its like they are seeing hell so its expected for them to giveDont listen to the RELIGIOUS NUT CASES reviewing them they sleep with there dear old bibles every night and feed their bibles with their mouths. When they walk out of the house its like they are seeing hell so its expected for them to give everything one. Only at night time with there bibles they are truly happy. They are sub human and not to be listened to. There 1 actually means a 7 or higher. but as I said before all they can rate anything is a 1 other then there precious bibles… Expand

13 of 26 users found this helpful1313

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10

jlbrown100Apr 4, 2014

I don't understand the negative reviews. Cinematography is superior, acting is excellent, story line was made suspenseful. (Pretty good for a biblical movie.) All together - very entertaining.

13 of 26 users found this helpful1313

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0

racer10Mar 29, 2014

Just saw the movie and it is pure garbage from almost any point of view ,such as , script , acting , costumes, sets . I nearly walked out several times . Any "critic" who rates more than 2 stars don't ever trust again , they don't have a clue.

12 of 24 users found this helpful1212

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2

Ed1SmithMar 30, 2014

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. I went with high hopes based on some early screening feedback, talk about disappointment! I expected a lot of story fill in and even some liberties on surrounding events, but most of this movie had absolutely no basis in the biblical account. Noah as presented and played by Crowe was no better than the people that were being destroyed! I am used to Hollywood presenting male characters as weak, flawed and stupid, but c'mon! Plus BORING! at least make it entertaining! Now on to the absolute lack of imagination in stealing from LOTR...The cross between Ents and Trolls that were inserted as a major story driver are not only found NOWHERE in the bible (I know they used the giant Nephilim that are mentioned, but really?}, but I fully expected as Sauron's army stormed the Ark for Gandalf to step out, plant his staff and yell 'You shall not pass!!!'. The amount of visual theft should have Jackson suing!

All in all a complete disappointment from the now ubiquitous eco-green theme, to the inserted evolution mantra(I am not a 'young earther'...but I also do not buy the evolution hypothesis that has NO support in the fossil record or cell biology), to the weak, psycho Noah, to the whole finding a mate (the bible clearly says that all 3 sons brought their spouses with them), to the Ark being built in less than 10 years by the rock monster from Galaxy Quest, to the stow away, to the snake skin talisman (what the hell?!?)...it was just all completely ridiculous and a turgid plod to an unfulfilling climax...ugggh, what a waste of money and time!… Expand

10 of 20 users found this helpful1010

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0

ydoc16Mar 31, 2014

A Horrible perversion of everything the bible teaches, whats worse is it seems to push a vegan/environmentalist/atheistic point of view down the viewers throat. It's not a movie so much as it seems to be propaganda by the director.

9 of 18 users found this helpful99

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1

TwentyTwotwentyMar 30, 2014

Firstly I should admit that I saw this movie for free - and it was still too expensive. Preachy eco-twaddle delivered through wooden performances in an epic marathon of sheer boredom.

The movie consists of vacant stares into the distance,Firstly I should admit that I saw this movie for free - and it was still too expensive. Preachy eco-twaddle delivered through wooden performances in an epic marathon of sheer boredom.

The movie consists of vacant stares into the distance, a nonsensical script, a fight scene from LOTR all interjected by some random documentary clips. The acting in the crying, emotive, scenes was laughable.

I gave this movie one star for the only actor who gave a convincing performance - Emma Watson. To put how terrible this movie was into context - the people beside us in the cinema began playing games on their mobiles about half way through the movie.… Expand

9 of 18 users found this helpful99

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0

VukBrankovicApr 2, 2014

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. It is just an awful movie. There is no nicer way of saying that. Forgetting the religious objections completely, the movie is long, boring, and not in the least entertaining. When you add to that the fact that it seems engineered to piss Christians and Jews off, you end up wondering what the hell they were thinking.… Expand

7 of 14 users found this helpful77

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3

BogKidAug 1, 2014

Aronofsky's film has the same flaw as the Biblical Noah story. At the end, Noah is still hearing voices from on high and believing that, because of that, he is right, infallible, and righteous. The history of humanity has been haunted byAronofsky's film has the same flaw as the Biblical Noah story. At the end, Noah is still hearing voices from on high and believing that, because of that, he is right, infallible, and righteous. The history of humanity has been haunted by these voices from on high resulting in most of the wars, killing, and general misery. Despite the "killing" part of his philosophy, the Cainanite (sic.) King was right in his comments about free will. Noah was a truly evil man.… Expand

4 of 8 users found this helpful44

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1

AliasAndrewJul 11, 2014

I am a longtime fan of the director so my disappointment here is massive. In a nutshell it is a pro-veganism, pro-ecology,pro-self-hating,pro-social isolation and anti-progress gritty reboot of the known tale of the Bible. The main problemI am a longtime fan of the director so my disappointment here is massive. In a nutshell it is a pro-veganism, pro-ecology,pro-self-hating,pro-social isolation and anti-progress gritty reboot of the known tale of the Bible. The main problem with this movie and its most unforgivable trait is that it tries sadistically hard to enforce those ideals to the viewer, to the point that it makes the viewer actually hate the protagonist and his headstrong self-righteous opinions. The society it shows of Sodom and Gomorrah is clearly a parallel of our society today. The only things that differentiate it is the lack of iphones and presence of rugs. 'We are evil and deserve to be destroyed' he preaches. 'It is a crime against nature to eat an animal' he says and insinuates by showing a man gutting a lamb with his bare hands and eating it raw. This is the work of a raging misanthropist wrapped in a Michael Bay exterior so the masses he hates so much will flock and pay to watch his delirium. Despite sharing some of his views,I cannot help but hate this unprecedented ideological enforcement and the movie as a whole as a result. If you can ignore all of the above, the movie has some strong visuals and performances by the cast and maybe you should give it a go. If not stay away.… Expand

3 of 6 users found this helpful33

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0

mzup77Aug 19, 2014

I'm going to step away from all religious interpretations and regard this simply on its merits as a film, not as a traditional biblical story. The problem is, it doesn't really have many merits. This film was simply two hours and fifteenI'm going to step away from all religious interpretations and regard this simply on its merits as a film, not as a traditional biblical story. The problem is, it doesn't really have many merits. This film was simply two hours and fifteen minutes of tedium. The special effects are barely worthy of a SyFy Channel original film. The acting is overly hammy and in some cases mind-numbingly wooden, part of which I feel is the part of the script, which eschews actually writing good dialogue for what seems to be just spewing out statements at random. The editing ranges in style from choppy to lingering overly long on mundane, uninteresting scenes. Everything is just...off. As bad as everything else felt, the score was possibly worse. I've never had issue with the work of Clint Mansell before, but for Noah he's opted for a blaring two note score that just keeps screaming the same two flipping horn blasts in your face over and over again. This is also the first time I would ever describe Aronofsky's directing as "ham-fisted". Everything feels overdone, self-indulgent and overproduced. I usually walk out of a Darren Aronofsky film contemplating the themes and mulling it over in my head to uncover deeper meanings. This one only stayed with me as a bad memory.… Expand

3 of 6 users found this helpful33

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0

RayDiantOct 5, 2014

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. A lot of reviews of Noah discuss the straying from the biblical story or other 'spiritual' aspects of the film. As someone who experiences a great movie as a spiritual journey in itself I found Noah to be complete crap. I actually thought the first few minutes (before Mr Crowe appears) were an elaborate piss take of the actual movie (in fact I still am not sure the people who rated this movie highly saw the same movie I did).

The garden of eden scenes were high school project quality. The Watchers, the whacky rock transformer Ent giant things, were rejects from Shrek. The characters are inexplicable and lack depth. His two older sons are just horny at the end of the world. At least the older one gets Emma Watson, even if she is barren (like most of the scenery before the magic seed is planted and a giant forest appears). Ham the middle son is just a sexually frustrated teenager with a tyrant for a father. One of the many non-sensical plot twists is when Ham goes searching for bacon (makin' bacon bacon) in the city and falls into a pit of dead bodies. What does he find? The girl of his (wet) dreams. They climb out as it starts to rain (not end of the world rain just a splattering) and everyone goes crazy stupid berserk. They all start charging for the Ark. Ham's babe gets caught in a bear trap and Noah arrives and forces Ham to leave her there to be trampled by the horde. While all this is going on the older brother is boinking Emma Watson who has been given a womb by Noah's grandfather, nutty berry lusting drugged out medieval hippy, Anthony Hopkins.

Noah somehow gets the notion in his head that his mission is to get the animals going again and kill all the humans. Ok, we are all sinners but no where in the movie does it really say where Noah got this idea. This creates Noah the Nutjob, hell bent on killing his new grandchildren. His wife begs him to punish her and not kill the children. What exactly this means and how this would appease Noah's distored mission from god seems only to indicate that Noah's wife has no understanding that her husband consumption of grandpa's hallucinogenic tea concoctions has had a permanent effect.

This sort of nonsense just keeps coming to the very end of the film. I think Aronofsky, Crowe, and everyon else involved will be forgetting this one is in their reprotoire pretty quick.… Expand

2 of 4 users found this helpful22

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10

zacharyhasMay 21, 2018

Great film, one of the best of it's year easily. A great Aronofsky film. At least the critics appreciated it, most of you are insane and do you not understand what the medium of film is.

2 of 4 users found this helpful22

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10

ThatDR_VApr 6, 2014

Biblical accuracy - pretty accurate, most "inaccuracies" are just filling in blanks. Reviews that say otherwise need to reread their Bible.
The Creator - using the word "God" would be an anachronism. 8(?) generations from Adam and Eve makesBiblical accuracy - pretty accurate, most "inaccuracies" are just filling in blanks. Reviews that say otherwise need to reread their Bible.
The Creator - using the word "God" would be an anachronism. 8(?) generations from Adam and Eve makes sense to still call God "The Creator."
Stone Giants - a bit of Artistic license here - Genesis 6:4 "The Nephilim were in the earth in those days, and also after that, when the sons of God came unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them: the same were the mighty men that were of old, the men of renown."
Environmentalist agenda - reread Genesis 9:4-5 and Genesis 2. God tells man that they can eat plants but not meat until after the flood and even then man will have to account for it.

As a Movie - Great Dynamic characters, Stunning Visuals, Story that means something. Pretty Much everything you can look for in a movie.… Expand

11 of 23 users found this helpful1112

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1

2thepointMar 30, 2014

First off, Aronofsky and the bible shouldn't even be in the same sentence. I'm not even a bible nut, I don't have a religion, but holy **** this movie sucked every one of the male animal's testicles, and thoroughly. The rock creatures weren'tFirst off, Aronofsky and the bible shouldn't even be in the same sentence. I'm not even a bible nut, I don't have a religion, but holy **** this movie sucked every one of the male animal's testicles, and thoroughly. The rock creatures weren't even original, it was like a play on the tree guardians from The Two Towers. I did go into this movie knowing full well the probability it would be a complete train wreck, I just didn't know how bad of a train wreck it could be. Another thing, what the hell was a bear trap doing in the forest when Ham and the girl were running back? Anyways, the 1 isn't even for this movie, it's for making a love scene between Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis become a reality.… Expand

9 of 19 users found this helpful910

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0

MrWestsideMar 30, 2014

A story from the bible meets science fiction with rock monsters!?!? What were they thinking? Would have definitely skipped this movie if the trailer showed how truly ridiculous it is. The rock monsters are not shown in the movie trailer at all!

8 of 17 users found this helpful89

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0

franissavioMar 29, 2014

What on heaven was this? I've always wondered how Noah build the ARK. Now, I know ROCK MONSTeRS did, lol. What were those people wearing Jeans n leather boots pathetic costume department. I still don't know how I survived 2 1/2 hrs ofWhat on heaven was this? I've always wondered how Noah build the ARK. Now, I know ROCK MONSTeRS did, lol. What were those people wearing Jeans n leather boots pathetic costume department. I still don't know how I survived 2 1/2 hrs of Aronofsky's plague.… Expand

14 of 30 users found this helpful1416

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2

MenrothApr 1, 2014

Just bad, like they wanted to do a new take on Noah and halfway decided to play it safe and give you the classic story with bad acting and a lot of special effects. Wanted my money back 30 minutes in, even though I honestly tried to like it.

7 of 15 users found this helpful78

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9

orderApr 3, 2014

Personally I enjoyed this movie as a fiction film, though if you are looking for an accurate biblical tale it might not satisfy your expectations. I feel the people giving this bad reviews are only doing so because it does not fit "their"Personally I enjoyed this movie as a fiction film, though if you are looking for an accurate biblical tale it might not satisfy your expectations. I feel the people giving this bad reviews are only doing so because it does not fit "their" view of the biblical story.

This is Russel Crows best film in many years, his acting was solid considering some of his previous poor performances. The movie has an obvious agenda that man should appreciate the earth and not destroy it and makes you think about becoming a vegetarian. I really enjoyed the movie and it's worth watching as a "movie" but again don't expect it to be a film based on a tale from the bible, enjoy it for what it is and try to judge it as that.

People will love this, or hate it. Most that hate it will be people upset it was not an accurate biblical adaptation, but then again no one knows what is true/false or exaggerated in the bible so it's hard to judge a fiction movie which is based on a bible story. Judge it as a movie, nothing more.… Expand

13 of 28 users found this helpful1315

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10

Brute1995Apr 2, 2014

The biblical story of Noah is fake too, so I don't see why Christians are getting so worked up about this. It's a nice movie. Christians are just mad that the director didn't misinterpret Noah's story to their liking.

Would watch again 10/10

12 of 26 users found this helpful1214

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1

KuseApr 2, 2014

Very to little of this movie is biblical, Golems, Magic and Noah is a raging madman? Leave it to an atheist to try and discredit God by calling it a "Creator".

6 of 13 users found this helpful67

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10

CristApr 4, 2014

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Encantadora y atrapante pelicula para ver en familia,los actores una joya la trama es increiblemente atrapante mucha emocion y nada triste, como me gunstan ami… Expand

11 of 24 users found this helpful1113

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4

ViolettApr 7, 2014

No, I didnt like this. First of all this movie is rough misinterpretation of Bible story, for me, religious man, this is bad. I am not any sort of religious fanatic, I am not going to curse this movie, no. I just didnt enjoy the fact of suchNo, I didnt like this. First of all this movie is rough misinterpretation of Bible story, for me, religious man, this is bad. I am not any sort of religious fanatic, I am not going to curse this movie, no. I just didnt enjoy the fact of such Bible rework. Second, actors are kinda overplaying, especially Conelly and Watson. I know Conelly is a great drama actress, and I like her, but this movie should be about Noah, God and The Sundering, not about Noahs wife nerves and arguing. I watch movies to enjoy the plot, decorations or actors play, but spitting tears and saliva at the face of Noah is quite disgusting. Scenes of pregnancy and birth accompanying by Watson screams is even more disgusting. This movie is dirty - this is the right word - dirty and dark. This is not a drama, not a disaster film, I dont know what is it. Aronofski is a great director, but I believe he failed this time.… Expand

5 of 11 users found this helpful56

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3

Zaphod20212Apr 11, 2014

I went to see this full of high expectation,but almost left halfway through I was so disappointed...Lots of looking into the distance, histrionics and overloud music does not compensate for a poor script. Too many holes in the film for myI went to see this full of high expectation,but almost left halfway through I was so disappointed...Lots of looking into the distance, histrionics and overloud music does not compensate for a poor script. Too many holes in the film for my liking,my friend felt the same way.Basically a waste of money, wish I had not bothered. Some of the story was hard to follow too, and did not bear much resemblance to the actual biblical story! Save your money!. An epic it is not inspite of the good actors(Crowe, Winstone & Watson).
The directing is beyond poor in my opinion and I am a seasoned film viewer! Rubbish!… Expand

5 of 11 users found this helpful56

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0

ZisckyApr 22, 2014

Is 2014 a magnet to biblical movies?Despite the spot on performance from Emma it just feels like...i don't know 'reverse sci-fi' with too much imagination

5 of 11 users found this helpful56

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9

NpurgatoryMar 30, 2014

Loved the movie.. I mean it has only a couple small story things that did not make much sense.. BUT, the acting and animals were great.. Great story.. All around good movie.. Plus i been saying for awhile that Emma Watson is a STAR.. ProvedLoved the movie.. I mean it has only a couple small story things that did not make much sense.. BUT, the acting and animals were great.. Great story.. All around good movie.. Plus i been saying for awhile that Emma Watson is a STAR.. Proved it once again.. Not as EPIC as Gladiator but some good fight scenes none the less.. Overall was very happy.. I think its 100% worth watching!… Expand

14 of 31 users found this helpful1417

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9

RobMcQuearyApr 14, 2014

Let’s begin where the Book does…

5 And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. 6 And it repented the LORD that he had made man on theLet’s begin where the Book does…

5 And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. 6 And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart. 7 And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them. Genesis 6:5-7 KJV

Let’s allow the movie to begin where it desires to as well (these are the first words at the top of the movie’s website)…

The film is inspired by the story of Noah. While artistic license has been taken, we believe that this film is true to the essence, values and integrity of a story that is a cornerstone of faith for millions of people worldwide. The biblical story of Noah can be found in the book of Genesis.

Since its March 28th release (and before, really) I have had the advantage (and in some cases, disadvantage) of reading many passionate reviews… all before I had seen the movie. I was reminded that some of us actually read reviews to decide whether or not we will go to the theater to see a movie. So reviews have their place. As usual, I come to this evaluation process from a bit of a different angle. For the last 20+ yrs. I have been a professional storyteller. You may look at my resume and wonder why a pastor would call himself that, but that’s exactly what we who deliver sermons are doing… we are telling and retelling the stories found in the Scriptures.

If you were/are looking to the Noah movie to retell the story word-for-word as the Scripture does, I nearly certain that you will walk away as many have… disappointed. However, most of us who attend Christian churches would be equally disappointed if we showed up to a worship service and the sermon for the day was solely the reading of Scripture. We want to know some perspective. How does that text apply to my life? What am I supposed to do or be because of what the Scripture teaches? I think this movie does both masterfully. Here a few of the high points that stood out to me:

- total ownership of why God was destroying the earth… the wickedness of man… sin
- acknowledging God as Creator
- even enumerating the very acts of creation day by day
- showing Noah as the righteous yet fallen human that he was
- even the weird stuff (you already have your list) does not diminish the power of the story

So even if you don’t end up liking the movie, let’s be the ones that are known what we’re for instead of what we’re against. May this retelling of the story of Noah cause audiences to consider the greatness and grace of our God.… Expand

12 of 27 users found this helpful1215

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0

fantasyMar 30, 2014

Let me preface my remarks by stating I am not one of those religious fanatics as I could care less. The public gets hosed again by the bought & paid for professional critics. This movie is so bad and boring, that you almost hope, the entireLet me preface my remarks by stating I am not one of those religious fanatics as I could care less. The public gets hosed again by the bought & paid for professional critics. This movie is so bad and boring, that you almost hope, the entire planet gets washed away. Somewhere PT Barnum is smiling as it's true a sucker is born every minute. How can a professional critic with even an ounce of dignity not expose this film for the crap it truly is. Anthony Hopkins has about 4 minutes of screen time. He has to be embarrassed by his performance in this dreadful movie. Russell Crowe as Noah is mentally deranged. You don't care one iota about any of the characters. Rock Monsters built the arc? Where were the transformers? LOL And just when you thought the movie is mercifully over, it goes on and on and never ends. How ludicrous was this. It starts to rain. About a minute later the dam breaks from below ground and everyone is washed away. Why would the Creator, by the way, never mentioned as G-d, have it rain for one minute and then a minute later water is everywhere as if a broken water main. I wouldn't watch this movie again on free TV. Avoid at all costs.… Expand

8 of 18 users found this helpful810

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0

Rossi163Mar 31, 2014

I hereby contribute a series of two word mini-reviews of the film, Noah.

unintentionally hilarious

astoundingly ridiculous

dramatic tripe

transparent hollywood-ism

offensively presumptuous

8 of 18 users found this helpful810

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0

junofotoMar 28, 2014

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. I can't believe Hollywood is going so low, What exactly is this story, I understand you smoke strong stuff but give the world this, is unacceptable, definitely something need to fixe at Hollywood. I need a refund cuz Noah is a crap.… Expand

11 of 25 users found this helpful1114

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1

LightninWillMar 30, 2014

Average acting, overly grandiose soundtrack, jittery cinematography, and ridiculous special effects that were often poorly executed make this a waste of money, time, and a good piece of fiction known as the Bible. I agree with those who haveAverage acting, overly grandiose soundtrack, jittery cinematography, and ridiculous special effects that were often poorly executed make this a waste of money, time, and a good piece of fiction known as the Bible. I agree with those who have called this movie a cross between "Transformers" and "Waterworld". Add "The 300" and you get a blood and water soaked disaster movie that had me wishing that Noah's poorly constructed ark would just sink and get it over with.… Expand

12 of 28 users found this helpful1216

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3

NightReviewsMar 28, 2014

Controversy is sure to ensue following the release of the Bible’s greatest and most epic story found in the Old Testament involving Noah and his arc. Visionary director and passionate auteur Darren Aronofsky has always been fascinated withControversy is sure to ensue following the release of the Bible’s greatest and most epic story found in the Old Testament involving Noah and his arc. Visionary director and passionate auteur Darren Aronofsky has always been fascinated with the character of Noah, and the inner workings of a man tormented by the voice of God and conflicted by his own voice of reason. For the sake of skeptics, religious groups, and devout Catholics, I intend to avert my review very far away from any religious claims or criticism for the film Noah, and instead intend to only offer criticism on the film itself, regardless of its strong Biblical undercurrent. Visually, Noah floats adrift many previous films that share a similar look (The Road, Tree of Life, The New World) but unfortunately sinks in a preposterous commentary set amongst mythological creatures, accepting fate and the age-old argument of man versus God, man versus nature, and man versus himself.

Aronofsky’s Noah begins with the Bible’s first chapter of creation and the story of Adam and Eve. As temptation lures Eve to evil, along with Adam, spawn Cain, Abel, and Seth proceed their parents to a new life. Cain kills Abel, and what begins is the regression of man’s propensity for evil, death, and murder. Noah (Russell Crowe) is one of the last of Seth’s bloodline, and he along with his family, including his wife Naameh (Jennifer Connelly) and his three sons, seem to be the only last remaining decent people during a time where descendants of Cain believe that natural survival instincts like killing and hunting are crucial to man’s survival in the world.

Aronofsky is a man fascinated with the inner workings of famously tormented individuals, and this project has been one of his greatest passion projects since beginning a career in film. Born to conservative Jewish parents, Aronofsky attempts not take any biased religious approach to his newest film, and instead focuses on the human element through an artistic lens. Insert ‘The Watchers’, mythological creatures/fallen angels who are imprisoned on Earth and betrayed by man, Noah, only momentarily floats as a forced visual studio epic that it never needed to be.

With The Wrestler, Black Swan and yes, even The Fountain, Aronofsky challenged the aesthetic of his narratives with the power of his lead performers. Mickey Rourke, Natalie Portman and Hugh Jackman are all prisoners to the shattered worlds they live in and must confront their demons and life itself to overcome adversity. With Noah, one of many vexed characters in the Bible, Aronofsky never challenges his fate by elevating the choices of a man to the fate predestined by a Creator. Instead, and unlike any of the other characters in Aronofsky’s films, Noah gives into accepting his fate of death, an unlikely characteristic for the director’s leads and the man depicted early in the film. Crowe, who is unable to tap into the mind of a man and be led into acting sanctity like Aronofsky’s previous actors, shows why he was the director’s third choice to play the character behind Christian Bale and Michael Fassbender. Crowe’s depiction of Noah is hardened much like ‘The Watcher’s’ outer rock form. Not to mention he delivers a sloppy performance of a man who is the only person who can hear the Creator’s voices in his head–often being eluded as a crazy person and not as the chosen one to hear The Creator’s celestial voice.

Like any other good Aronofsky character, Noah suffers from premonitions. He envisions the destruction of the world. With the help of his wise and all-knowing grandfather Methuselah (Sir Anthony Hopkins), Noah heeds to the Creators visions and builds an arc. Focused less on the creation of the arc itself, offering no type of montage to an arc that seemed to have lasted a least a decade to construct, Aronofsky directs his focus to man, the greatest evil the Creator has formulated–yet, it is a human being that puts together The Creator’s plan. Throughout, by adding a very strong artistic take to a story that is resonant in the minds of religious individuals, once the inclusion of imagination and artistry is injected into anything Biblical, doubt crashes the mind like waves on a reef. Much like oil and water, two fluids that don’t mix, art and religion are two very subjective and delicate areas to combine together. Just ask Mel Gibson, whose reimagining of the crucifixion of Christ, The Passion of Christ, will surely be met with a much larger commercial welcome than Noah.

After the uproar of its first trailer, Paramount Pictures conducted various private secret screenings of different versions of the film, including Aronofsky’s cut of the film, although he was signed to have the final cut of the movie out for distribution. Repulsed and deeply offended, Aronofsky got wind of the studios deception, and allowed the studio to reconsider and agree to release the film as the director had intended, with his cut intact.… Expand

9 of 21 users found this helpful912

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3

MetaCrypticApr 7, 2014

They ignored every little bit pof personality the original bible lore had and turned into an action oriented bull **** This movie could of gone much better had they stuck with the spiritual interpretation of the original.

But then againThey ignored every little bit pof personality the original bible lore had and turned into an action oriented bull **** This movie could of gone much better had they stuck with the spiritual interpretation of the original.

But then again what could you expect knowing this was directed by an Atheist, those who take anything about the bible LITTERALY, when it should actualy be interpreted. But at least he tried.… Expand

6 of 14 users found this helpful68

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4

Alan250Apr 4, 2014

I wasn't expecting any accuracy to the bible story but this was frustating. So many drugs man. Don't watch. Unless you like special effects and CGI, but if so keep away from the plot

5 of 12 users found this helpful57

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2

OTPOBEHApr 4, 2014

The film is showing Noah as some kind of psychopathic servant of a deaf evil deity . It is like "Lord of the Rings", but with bad CGI and with psychopaths.

5 of 12 users found this helpful57

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1

bartmirApr 5, 2014

What a waste of money! I am not a very religious person but I found it disrespectful to the Bible and religion. In two words lame and stupid. They missed the opportunity of making a great film.

5 of 12 users found this helpful57

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0

RST303Mar 30, 2014

I have never written a movie review before but this one cries for one. This was absolutely one of the most boring movies I have ever seen. Almost every scene was over dramatized and agonizingly drawn-out, resulting in one slow, boringI have never written a movie review before but this one cries for one. This was absolutely one of the most boring movies I have ever seen. Almost every scene was over dramatized and agonizingly drawn-out, resulting in one slow, boring movie. It was painful to watch; I just wanted to walk out. Giant rock monsters built the ark? This film was a total waste of my time - two hours of my life I will never get back. If you need a good nap, go to this movie.… Expand

9 of 22 users found this helpful913

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3

RATCHETSLYJAKApr 13, 2014

One of the worst movies I have ever seen in years. Do not go to this movie expecting any accuracy to the Bible stories. The acting is ok but the plot is so dragged out and just becomes pointless after the 2 hour mark. I even began to sideOne of the worst movies I have ever seen in years. Do not go to this movie expecting any accuracy to the Bible stories. The acting is ok but the plot is so dragged out and just becomes pointless after the 2 hour mark. I even began to side with the villain at one point hoping that he would end the movie , but nope , it dragged giving me a headache and making me ponder wither to leave or not. Even me giving it a 3 is a bit too generous.… Expand

4 of 10 users found this helpful46

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3

gfnyMar 29, 2014

This movie is a hybrid of religion and science fiction and will disappoint fans of both. The absurd storyline in a semi religious setting is so unbelievable that it loses the viewer’s interest. Had it been a made for TV Movie, it would lastThis movie is a hybrid of religion and science fiction and will disappoint fans of both. The absurd storyline in a semi religious setting is so unbelievable that it loses the viewer’s interest. Had it been a made for TV Movie, it would last 30 minutes before the channel was changed. The trailer on the internet is misleading which adds to the dislike of the movie. Russell Crowe does a good job holding it together, but he can’t overcome the absurdity of this Harry Potter type of movie. A redeeming value of the movie is that it shows the religious story of Noah and an Ark could never have existed and is a bible fantasy.… Expand

11 of 28 users found this helpful1117

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9

TheTransmutedMar 29, 2014

There is a great deal of controversy surrounding this film, and rightly so. It's one of the most bizarre, ballsy interpretations of a Biblical story I've seen. If you were expecting a "to-the-letter" rendition of Noah you will very muchThere is a great deal of controversy surrounding this film, and rightly so. It's one of the most bizarre, ballsy interpretations of a Biblical story I've seen. If you were expecting a "to-the-letter" rendition of Noah you will very much dislike Aronofsky's take on the story. If you want to watch a deeper than usual exploration of the nature of God with fully humanized Biblical characters, strongly stated moral questions, and striking visual effects, you may just about love it. I fall into the latter category, and would happily recommend this film on the basis of moral and spiritual exploration and exposition, not as an historical set piece.… Expand

14 of 36 users found this helpful1422

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2

petitorenjiMar 30, 2014

This movie should have been renamed "Ila" because it felt like the film was really about her struggles from a kid to a mother. The CG animals were designed and animated in a very lackluster way. The animated CG intro was, for lack of a betterThis movie should have been renamed "Ila" because it felt like the film was really about her struggles from a kid to a mother. The CG animals were designed and animated in a very lackluster way. The animated CG intro was, for lack of a better word, a joke. Every character pretty much had the same expression on their faces the whole way through, which is appropriate in this case but it really bores the audience and dulls the character. I went because of the interesting reviews, but now I realized I probably haven't read them carefully enough. I am one of the many others who want my dough back. It's a shame, really: it had good potential.… Expand

7 of 18 users found this helpful711

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10

catanna1Apr 20, 2014

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. My husband and I just saw Noah and we both loved it. Well and bravely written, beautifully acted, creative CGI & not "biblical" but certainly spiritual and ultimately inspiring, especially for nature lovers like ourselves. Noah: "We have to be gentle with the animals and we have to be protective. If something were to happen to them, a small piece of creation would be lost for ever" And so it has. And there are many way to appreciate this movie outside of its reference to the Old Testament story. As clever science fiction/fantasy ~ an intense family drama ~ edge of your seat action/adventure ~ a cautionary tale that could inspire some interesting discussion about the state of the world and our place in it afterward.… Expand

7 of 18 users found this helpful711

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1

achomefrontApr 1, 2014

The only reason this is evening scoring a one is simply for the actors.
I could present this deep philosophical review, however wish to spare all the painful reading and get to the point. This is NOT a depiction of Noah as in the Bible.The only reason this is evening scoring a one is simply for the actors.
I could present this deep philosophical review, however wish to spare all the painful reading and get to the point. This is NOT a depiction of Noah as in the Bible. There are ridiculous rock monsters called watchers, the desire of Noah to end all humanity and his denial of entry to anyone in the Ark. All FALSE. I am not against anyone wishing to place their own spin on any story, however warn your audience this is not a biblical movie but a fantastical version. I walked in believing our family was going to enjoy the retelling of an amazing biblical story only to leave early and have wasted 52.00 dollars.

In conclusion, if you wish to see a biblical version, pass.
If you just wish to be slightly entertained, go.… Expand

10 of 26 users found this helpful1016

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3

EludiumQ36Aug 23, 2014

Aronofsky's "Noah" is a bold yet impotent attempt to portray such a well known epic. I kept thinking throughout that "old Hollywood" with Charleton Heston and the attendant grandeur would've been so much more satisfying. The film's end wasAronofsky's "Noah" is a bold yet impotent attempt to portray such a well known epic. I kept thinking throughout that "old Hollywood" with Charleton Heston and the attendant grandeur would've been so much more satisfying. The film's end was totally lackluster given the fact that this count-them-on-two-hands set of people were the only ones left to repopulate the planet! The magnificent gravity of that was never adequately expressed. Very disappointing attempt at what should've been an amazing experience.… Expand

3 of 8 users found this helpful35

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3

evearcherApr 22, 2014

Rock creatures built the Ark, rock creatures ? Such a weird movie.....using bad cartoons to explain the state of the earth and how it came to be....Movie was watchable but could have been GREAT. The Rock Creatures made the movieRock creatures built the Ark, rock creatures ? Such a weird movie.....using bad cartoons to explain the state of the earth and how it came to be....Movie was watchable but could have been GREAT. The Rock Creatures made the movie laughable.....too much MAGIC....the movie should not be called NOAH because it really was a different movie.… Expand

3 of 8 users found this helpful35

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1

sewandsewsApr 27, 2014

Dont waste youre money or youre time on this one, if you are going to make a Biblical epic at least follow the story. This was Holly Wood at its worst making things up as it goes along, worst film i have ever seen.
Total fabrication and notDont waste youre money or youre time on this one, if you are going to make a Biblical epic at least follow the story. This was Holly Wood at its worst making things up as it goes along, worst film i have ever seen.
Total fabrication and not in the same league as other epics like "Ben Hur", "The Robe", "Ten Commandments", it was just drivel.… Expand

3 of 8 users found this helpful35

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9

avchemeMar 29, 2014

No one should see Noah without knowing who Darren Aronofsky is. No one should see Noah expecting a Mel Gibson movie about Bible stories. People should expect to see pain and evil manifest on screen. That's what makes Noah great.

As withNo one should see Noah without knowing who Darren Aronofsky is. No one should see Noah expecting a Mel Gibson movie about Bible stories. People should expect to see pain and evil manifest on screen. That's what makes Noah great.

As with any Aronofsky film a single viewing is hardly enough to get his message. That said, I don't think this is his best movie. It does hold up to his other work which says a lot considering the company. Some scenes early on are so intense and jarring they assure you this is classic Aronofsky brilliance. These short lived moments aren't to say the rest of the movie is bad, and it's not as though the intensity decreases later on, but if you lose sight of these moments you're likely going to miss the message.… Expand

14 of 38 users found this helpful1424

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10

Sam1234Mar 30, 2014

Great movie, Very entertaining, I think it deserves a eight because I did find things wrong with it, I gave it a ten due to the fact there are so many bible loving hippies on here that trying drag it down... I don't understand these peopleGreat movie, Very entertaining, I think it deserves a eight because I did find things wrong with it, I gave it a ten due to the fact there are so many bible loving hippies on here that trying drag it down... I don't understand these people who believed this guy build a boat to fit every animal that doesn't exist on the same continent? but still cant accept that there religious groups rape there own children even though its on the news every day? Maybe these people should go back to there business ooops mean "church" that are buying up property with the donations they get!!! Let people who want to see a great entertaining film enjoy it without having to read all there crap!… Expand

11 of 31 users found this helpful1120

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10

alexito660Mar 31, 2014

Incredible movie you gonna love actor sand is din,t like bible whit so much action and adventure, incredible beautiful, and the efectos awesome, al actores awesome but tus el dont amase but the others yes, this movie is dont like bible butIncredible movie you gonna love actor sand is din,t like bible whit so much action and adventure, incredible beautiful, and the efectos awesome, al actores awesome but tus el dont amase but the others yes, this movie is dont like bible but ITS a big movie hit.… Expand

9 of 26 users found this helpful917

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3

BlaKDemonaZJan 3, 2015

A única coisa que salva no filme é o cast com Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Emma Watson e Anthony Hopkins. No mais, tentaram forçar uma história "incrível" e não funcionou.

2 of 6 users found this helpful24

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7

BrianMcCriticAug 27, 2014

This is an amazing visual experience that while there are some story elements that fall short the majority of the film works as a story of a man who must interpret his burden. B+