Guardians of the Galaxy

1

sniderman89Dec 13, 2014

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Wow was I wrong about this movie. I was again hoping for a good story with some tense action but just like Legos Movie I got burned by Metacritic. I mention Legos Movie because Guardians has the same type of Attention Deficit Disorder style. The average length of each frame must be about 2 seconds. I swear it is just switch, switch, switch, etc. etc. throughout the whole movie. I sensed something wrong when the lead character just easily escapes the killers in the beginning. I mean he just skips past them and lands in his ship and zoooooom, is out of there with lasers shooting all around him. Lame. The whole movie is like this. They should have all been killed 100 times by the end of the movie. I mean seriously- the girl was blown out of her pod and the guy shoots out and gives her his mask thingy and they are both saved. No way. They should have both been dead 20 times in just that scene alone. And the big guy. Didn't he get stomped by the bad guy and thrown into a pool of mustard. And submerged there for a good while. He just jumps on up and is back in action. I guess the movie expects us to all accept that they all have live forever superpowers. Story- boy is it horrible. I may have missed something but a softball sized orb that has all of the power in the universe. I could have thought of something more original than that. The lead guy somehow knew how to conjure it in the beginning to sell to a pawn shop. Then all of the bad guys are chasing them for it throughout the whole movie. The one liners to put some comedy in it were so horrible. I just felt this way about the Lego Movie. Horrible story, action scenes that are way too over the top with fast switching frames where they escape among a hail of bullets time after time again, lame attempts at comedy, and way too long is how I feel about both movies. I guess if you like Lego then you'll get a kick out of this.… Expand

0 of 1 users found this helpful01

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1

foxgroveAug 1, 2014

It was memories of a joyless screening of Captain America that made me approach this new Marvel adventure with caution. A caution borne of years of instinctive experience of crass movies aimed at the lowest possible denominator. I make it aIt was memories of a joyless screening of Captain America that made me approach this new Marvel adventure with caution. A caution borne of years of instinctive experience of crass movies aimed at the lowest possible denominator. I make it a rule never to walk out of any film, but in between admiring the face of my watch and battling yawns with as much zeal as our eclectic on screen heroes were battling each other, I very nearly succumbed to breaking with this self enforcement. The film starts badly and never recovers. One of the most mis- judged elements is the vein of humour running throughout that is puerile, lacking the benefit of any real wit or genuine laughs.
The story may be simple but there is so much superfluous chatter to draw out the running time that it becomes a language unto itself, which is probably only decipherable by teenage boys or others interested in all things 'Star Wars'. Trying to emulate that 70's classic, and I use the term loosely, the film has its own double act comprising of a very vocal racoon and a selfless tree who are clearly modelled on the characters of R2D2 and C3PO.
The cast enthusiastically inject more energy into the material than it deserves, but one remains baffled as to what actors of the calibre of Glenn Close and John C Reilly are doing participating in this nonsense.

Technically the film is outstanding. Cinematography and Special Visual effects are on the money and the Production Design is striking even if one set looks suspiciously like it had previously been used in 'Elysium'. Furthermore the Make-Up should easily walk away with an Oscar next year. However, excellent production values do not a good film make and as a movie the force is just not with it.… Expand

19 of 125 users found this helpful19106

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1

JennaznAug 13, 2014

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. It absolutely blows me away that this is receiving so many positive reviews. This is by a wide margin one of the worst mainstream action movies I have ever seen. It was incredibly corny, but not a good kind of corny. Just awful directing that feels like it could have been written by an 8 year old. Whoever directed this didn't even seem to try.
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So there were hundreds of different alien races , but they all looked remarkably similar to humans. WHY? This makes absolutely no sense, but they didn't even attempt to explain this. Why did they all speak English with American accents, furthurmore?
Why was Groot able to pierce the aliens' armor, when he's made of wood? WOOD? They're hyper-advanced aliens that have a respectable grasp on space travel, but they go into battle wearing armor that can be pierced by a sharp stick?
WHY, for the love of Christ, when the alien spacecraft crash landed on a planet and demolshed several city blocks, were the rest of the main cast able to survive without a scratch because they were protected by a nest of spindly branches?

These are just a couple of the very obvious, gaping flaws in this film that nobody seemed to even try to explain. There were so many stupid problems with this film that it would probably exceed the 5,000 character limit were I try to list them all off. This is a movie that was almost hilariously bad at times on my first viewing, and I'd be willing to bet would get steadily worse if I were to watch it multiple times.

I'm giving this movie one point for animation, but even that wasn't very good in some places. The imaginative design that went into A COUPLE characters like Groot was fantastic, but then there were scenes like the one where they're standing amongst the ruins of a destroyed city block, and nothing looked like it was actually there. They were very clearly standing in front of a greenscreen.… Expand

6 of 25 users found this helpful619

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1

ShalaRaanOct 6, 2014

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Never ever felt a movie three times as long as it really was. My husband and I, we were relieved and glad when the credits started rolling. The special effects were incredible but the two-dimensional heroes, the lame jokes and the flimsy story ruined the fun for us.

The first few minutes were good but, after the abduction, everything went faster downhill than Rocket Raccoon could talk. We were so bored out of our minds, even the bombastic visuals and the showdown couldn't lift our spirits in the end.

I'm really baffled about so many people describing the dialogues as "clever" or "witty". I found them to be incredibly stupid, not funny and just lame. I never watched a movie before where the heroes a) loved hearing themselves talk, b) where they talked non-stop and c) had absolutely nothing to say.

The CGI-effects made this an A movie, the rest is barely C-material.… Expand

7 of 11 users found this helpful74

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1

teaofblackAug 6, 2014

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. It's simple this movie is made of plot convenience, bro humor, inconsistent characters and filler upon filler conversations.
Example: super bad-ass assassin character has killed so many to build her reputation, but 3 random inmates subdue her fully...
Example: drax the destroyer is supposed to be the toughest thing around but gets beaten up by every mid level boss also in the extremely out of place bar scene all non human characters get drunk but in the very next scene all other characters sober up while the biggest guy is still drunk (i'm going to ignore that someone can call an army on the phone)… Expand

8 of 41 users found this helpful833

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1

aguyglobalOct 9, 2014

It was far from a terrible movie, but I didn't find much appeal to it beyond a few admittedly funny moments. The actors are all fine, but the characters didn't particularly interest me, especially the villain. There wasn't anything reallyIt was far from a terrible movie, but I didn't find much appeal to it beyond a few admittedly funny moments. The actors are all fine, but the characters didn't particularly interest me, especially the villain. There wasn't anything really terrible about it, but nothing that truly got me excited.… Expand

1 of 3 users found this helpful12

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1

armadillo_entDec 17, 2014

This is literally the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. The main character (who gives a **** what his name is) is a douchebag with no redeeming qualities, no interesting lines, and a very punchable face. In no world could I ever seeThis is literally the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. The main character (who gives a **** what his name is) is a douchebag with no redeeming qualities, no interesting lines, and a very punchable face. In no world could I ever see him with a hot alien Zoe Saldana. The plot, the script, the scenes, everything sucked. This is absolute trash. I guess for all the non-funny people out there, they'll finally understand the dumbed-down humor.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful00

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1

Antoni0610Apr 1, 2016

This film Boring , not fun , not interesting action, bad speceffect. Film unworthy hype and alot of praise. Roket like Jar Jar . It has good saundtrack, this one plus.

0 of 1 users found this helpful01

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0

jcalbertaAug 26, 2014

Shoots low ... and hits it's mark. Yet another Marvel comic book falls off the conveyor belt.
This is the substance of modern American film making - a horrific piece of formula garbage.
But they just keep shoveling it out - and people keepShoots low ... and hits it's mark. Yet another Marvel comic book falls off the conveyor belt.
This is the substance of modern American film making - a horrific piece of formula garbage.
But they just keep shoveling it out - and people keep throwing money at them. Sad.… Expand

8 of 32 users found this helpful824

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0

ignore78Mar 23, 2018

This movie must have the most IQ free jokes and bad actors with bad story i ever seen. This move is a big joke!

2 of 9 users found this helpful27

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0

MarkT2014Dec 26, 2014

This movie is like the sum of all the things an author is left with after spending out all of his/her creativity.

Basically it gives the impression as if people didn't know what to come up with anymore, so they've just put every singleThis movie is like the sum of all the things an author is left with after spending out all of his/her creativity.

Basically it gives the impression as if people didn't know what to come up with anymore, so they've just put every single crazy thing they could think of into this movie producing nothing but a really big pile of mixed unrelated trash.

Movie is trying to be funny, but somehow it's not, despite all the efforts. If I had to guess, I'd say the only reason this movie got positive score is because it's: 1. Dinsey and 2. Marvel

Zero.… Expand

5 of 21 users found this helpful516

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0

eskimo7Aug 21, 2014

I have never reviewed a movie before, but I came here to promise you anything in this world that the person who wrote the script for this movie does not have an IQ higher than 85.

There is nothing in the movie that is not unfathomablyI have never reviewed a movie before, but I came here to promise you anything in this world that the person who wrote the script for this movie does not have an IQ higher than 85.

There is nothing in the movie that is not unfathomably cliche (a sci-fi movie where protagonists fight for a mythical orb for no reason, a deus ex machina ending that I can't even remember despite seeing it a few days ago, and absolutely moronic dialogue in which characters announce their intentions for actions while doing them).

Also, the poor delivery of every "joke" renders the entire thing devoid of humor, unless you think that a giant ambiguous plant repeating its name every 5 minutes is funny.

If you are an idiot, then feel free to see this movie. If not, do yourself a favor and watch something that is not utterly pathetic in every way.… Expand

12 of 59 users found this helpful1247

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0

SuckMyNuts12345Jan 1, 2015

I thought this film was over rated. I saw in the news that drugs kills and this totally screwed me up. I thought it was over but who was I kidding? I new one day they would do it but why so hard?
When I was in the subway gourmet restaurant iI thought this film was over rated. I saw in the news that drugs kills and this totally screwed me up. I thought it was over but who was I kidding? I new one day they would do it but why so hard?
When I was in the subway gourmet restaurant i saw the film and I knew it was going to be a remake of space goblins 3d 4. Then me and Jermaine hit the zig zag and bolted. Zig Zag BOOM BOOM. The money wasn't the issue until the had came.
The rats at 99 was the coolest seen of the movie. Really the climax, of the movie. Then it hits a dark turn about 15 minutes in. The gooder brother thought there might be in but who knows when you dont. The end was like the beginning in that the rats were have taken over.
That why i whent with MagicJack. ONLY 19.95 A YEAR! The magicJack device uses Voice Over Internet Protocol (“VoIP”) to allow you to make local and long-distance calls to the U.S. and Canada using an existing internet connection.

You can make and receive calls using your computer or regular telephone. No additional telephone service is required.… Expand

4 of 17 users found this helpful413

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0

mbaezJan 6, 2015

I thought this movie was extremely overrated. Nothing but mind-numbing CG action and attempts to be funny for 2 hours. I feel like I already watched this movie half a dozen times before by watching the latest Marvel films.. and I'm leavingI thought this movie was extremely overrated. Nothing but mind-numbing CG action and attempts to be funny for 2 hours. I feel like I already watched this movie half a dozen times before by watching the latest Marvel films.. and I'm leaving equally unsatisfied.… Expand

6 of 9 users found this helpful63

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0

moviestalkerJun 18, 2017

I can't for my life understand why people joined the circle jerk of Guardians of the Galaxy being the best movie ever made. Special thanks to Kyle Smith from NYP who gave this garbage the movie score it deserved.

4 of 6 users found this helpful42

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0

Scout523Jun 20, 2015

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. In my opinion, this movie is overrated. A lot. I may have only seen 44 minutes of this movie, but, in those 44 minutes, I loathed this movie. The majority of the dialogue is poorly-written, the soundtrack is out-of-place, the scenes transition way too quickly to understand what is going on, and the characters are boring. I assume the boy in the beginning is a young Quinn, however the boy is blond and Chris Pratt has dark hair. The reason I only saw 44 minutes of this movie is because I thought it was so bad I just gave up. I didn't even bother seeing if the movie got better because it was already damaged beyond repair. Now, it did have good special effects, and I liked the songs in the first few scenes, but everything else either made no sense at all, or was poorly-written. The opening title sequence was lousy, as Chris Pratt broke out into dance for no reason other than so the credits could show who made it and who starred in it, and then when the aliens threatened to arrest him for stealing the orb, he looked genuinely shocked. It was his fault for wasting all that time dancing for no reason other than something that is beyond the fourth wall. If you enjoyed this movie, fine. I think kids could get a kick out of this movie, though there are some elements that parents may not like. I, however, could not enjoy this movie at all and didn't even finish it due to how bad it was.… Expand

4 of 17 users found this helpful413

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BroyaxDec 1, 2017

Les Gardiens de mes burnes est une grosse machine bourrée d'effets spéciaux et de dialogues idiots auxquels on a oublié malencontreusement d'accoler les rires enregistrés des sitcoms les plus débiles du moment.

A cette crétinerieLes Gardiens de mes burnes est une grosse machine bourrée d'effets spéciaux et de dialogues idiots auxquels on a oublié malencontreusement d'accoler les rires enregistrés des sitcoms les plus débiles du moment.

A cette crétinerie caractérisée et irrécupérable peuplée de tronches de cakes vient s'ajouter un mauvais goût indigne de la pire série Z ou du pire nanar jamais réalisé... Aucun doute n'est plus permis, on est bien en présence d'une mongolerie de mongoliens pour un public trizo lobotomisé qui se bave dessus en avalant du pop-corn au kilo.

L'ennui profond qui s'en dégage empêche d'en rire même au degré le plus élevé qui puisse être (on mesure ça en kelvins à ce qu'il paraît... à moins que ce ne soit en kévins !). Car enfin, il faut être sacrément Kévin dans sa tête (laquelle fait bien entendu "floc-floc") pour espérer "apprécier" un truc de golios pareil.… Expand

2 of 7 users found this helpful25

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mroximutJul 9, 2017

One of the most boring movies i have ever seen. I cannot understand how people like this garbage that much. It is not worth watching. What a waste of two hours in my entire life.

3 of 5 users found this helpful32

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Ascended333Oct 25, 2021

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Overrated movie, it overuses it’s humor, the soundtracks are dumb, the villain was bad… Expand

0 of 3 users found this helpful03

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mailpollFeb 17, 2022

I guess im one of the few people who didn't enjoy this movie. first of all the comedy in this movie fails; maybe im not into this kind of humor, but the comedy failed terribly for me

0 of 7 users found this helpful07

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Guardians of the Galaxy

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