G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Paramount Pictures | Release Date: August 7, 2009
5.3
USER SCORE
Mixed or average reviews based on 399 Ratings
USER RATING DISTRIBUTION
Positive:
164
Mixed:
107
Negative:
128
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User Reviews

User scoreBy dateMost helpful
3
SeriousSquidNov 4, 2010
G.I Joe is just an awful awful, movie. It all comes down to one major flaw in the entire movie: the plot is retarded. And I don't mean it like every action movie needs to be Shakespeare, if I wanted that I'd see a play. No, the problem isG.I Joe is just an awful awful, movie. It all comes down to one major flaw in the entire movie: the plot is retarded. And I don't mean it like every action movie needs to be Shakespeare, if I wanted that I'd see a play. No, the problem is G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is just way too sincere with being a story-focused movie, wasting alot of time building on the non-existent motivations and traits of it's characters and hammering cliché after cliché into the damn thing. Its just boring for no transparent reason. Furthermore providing a plot twist you are apparently supposed to figure out at the beginning of the movie. Movies like Shoot 'Em Up can get away with a lame plot because it is only an excuse to have non-stop action whereas G.I Joe becomes a pain to sit through . Speaking of the action, it's not even especially good at all. Admittedly I found the Paris car chase scene somewhat entertaining but it takes too long getting there and the final "epic" battle is a mess of parallel events, failing to engage and ending in a pointless 90s-style sequel hint, because that was the best part of Godzilla (1998) right?

Ice doesn't sink in the ocean G.I Joe writers.… Expand
4 of 4 users found this helpful40
All this user's reviews
10
LuizEAug 12, 2009
A Piece of FUN, a lot of action and great special effects, good history. Its 10 to me, enormously entertaining.
2 of 2 users found this helpful
1
EddieLNov 8, 2009
Woeful plot. Unless you are a ten year old boy. You will like it.The script will bore you to tears!!
2 of 2 users found this helpful
2
TimHNov 8, 2009
Wow... that... was... dumb... I fought the urge to turn it off in the first 5 friggin' minutes - I should at least get a t-shirt for my trouble, but alas, no free t-shirt came with my $1 rental at the RedBox - that's highway Wow... that... was... dumb... I fought the urge to turn it off in the first 5 friggin' minutes - I should at least get a t-shirt for my trouble, but alas, no free t-shirt came with my $1 rental at the RedBox - that's highway robbery if you ask me. If I had gone to see it in the theater, I would have walked out and asked for my money back, just like that piece of trash, "Silent Hill." Trust me, giving it a "2" is generous; it makes the movie "Steath" look like "Full Metal Jacket" - know what I'm saying.… Expand
2 of 2 users found this helpful
8
BradYAug 7, 2009
Given the track record of Wolverine, Terminator and Transformers 2 this summer, my expectations for GI Joe, while initially high, had been tempered. But, in reality, I came out of the theater completely blown away. It seems fairly clear to Given the track record of Wolverine, Terminator and Transformers 2 this summer, my expectations for GI Joe, while initially high, had been tempered. But, in reality, I came out of the theater completely blown away. It seems fairly clear to me that they (the director, production staff, writers, actors, etc) all knew what they were going for... A clever, action-packed re-imagining of the GI Joe franchise that anyone over 18 remembered when growing up. Is it has hardcore as the comic books? Certainly not. Is it as campy as the cartoon? No, not exactly. But does it capture what made GI Joe so cool in the first place? Most definitely. GI Joe won't win awards for special effects, writing, or acting... But for doing things their own way and getting it (mostly) right, they should all be commended.… Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful
8
LaurandaAug 9, 2009
People, it's based on a simple cartoon that was just plain good vs. bad. To expect anything more than a wild action ride is foolish. Not every movie that comes out has to be high art.
1 of 1 users found this helpful
8
GeorgeS.Aug 11, 2009
Certainly not a cinematic masterpiece like Citizen Kane or A Clockwork Orange, but still enormously entertaining. The story is not entirely ludicrous, and the characters, while not exactly dynamic, are also a ton of fun. In short, worth your Certainly not a cinematic masterpiece like Citizen Kane or A Clockwork Orange, but still enormously entertaining. The story is not entirely ludicrous, and the characters, while not exactly dynamic, are also a ton of fun. In short, worth your money, if you are from 14-45, and unless you've got a massive pole up your ass, like King Art Snob David down there.… Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful
2
JimS.Aug 17, 2009
Horrible movie. All the money spent on this film was wasted. I've seen better acting, directing, and writing in community theater. The special effects were cheesey. Started yawning about half way through, thought about walking out; Horrible movie. All the money spent on this film was wasted. I've seen better acting, directing, and writing in community theater. The special effects were cheesey. Started yawning about half way through, thought about walking out; wished I had. No redeeming qualities.… Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful
4
tomaOct 23, 2009
Really bad. i'm a big fan of action movies, but this isn't even three leagues below stuff like the bourne identity, face/off, x-men I and II, the die hard films, MI- II and III, the dark knight. this is a comic book/video game Really bad. i'm a big fan of action movies, but this isn't even three leagues below stuff like the bourne identity, face/off, x-men I and II, the die hard films, MI- II and III, the dark knight. this is a comic book/video game film. i'm forty, have an advanced degree, and have a high iq. still, i love great fighting (even blade trinity) and hot women in tight clothing. But GI Joe just doesn't cut it. att all. my single biggest problem is that i can't understand what tatum is saying. the guy doesn't enunciate. i can always understand hugh jackman, matt damon, gerard butler, clive owen, daniel craig, will smith, jessica biel, ryan reynolds, etc.. tatum just sounds dumb and uneducated, and lazy. he talks like a guy serving you fries with that at mcdonalds. maybe people under twenty-five can understand speech that sounds just like a string of vowels to me. also, it's way, way too busy. this is an explosion movie, not a fight movie. i like fight movies, and movies about spies. so, movies that involve ingenuity and calculated, agile violence. gi joe is less about action and more about imaginary weapons, like some call of duty 9. there aren't even chases in it. i love good car chases. i enjoy tomb raider. however, this is a new type of film that's all about CGI and weapons, and not much about human strength, agility, dexterity, or speed. there's so much CGI that nothing seems fast (like the car chase in gone in sixty seconds), because everything moving moves against a CGI backdrop. if you're under twenty-five and are acclimated to call of duty, you may enjoy this. if you like x-men, you'll be very disappointed. sienna miler, as always, is dazzlingly pretty.… Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful
0
PhilSAug 14, 2009
You will have more fun brushing your teeth. This pile of refuse was absolutely one of the worst movies ever made. and its all been done before...MEGAFORCE...STREET FIGHTER...and TEAM AMERICA... if the rest of the world ends up believing this You will have more fun brushing your teeth. This pile of refuse was absolutely one of the worst movies ever made. and its all been done before...MEGAFORCE...STREET FIGHTER...and TEAM AMERICA... if the rest of the world ends up believing this is really how dumb the American military is, we're screwed.… Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful
0
SMAug 14, 2009
Another attempt by big corporate execs to invest money into a stupid pile of garbage. I'm so sick of these very calculated big budget movies full of plotless storylines, crappy acting and actors filled with big special effects to keep Another attempt by big corporate execs to invest money into a stupid pile of garbage. I'm so sick of these very calculated big budget movies full of plotless storylines, crappy acting and actors filled with big special effects to keep the audience from walking out of their seats. This one is so bad, it might not matter. Consider District 9. Completely independent of financial backing of big studio, it has a solid storyline and the acting is solid. Very captivating. Don't see GI:Joe ever! Don't rent it when it is available. Let's hope a sequel never sees the light of day. Let's send a clear message to big studios that we don't want crap crammed down our throats. We want to see movies with a little integrity.… Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful
1
KaiKAug 15, 2009
There is not a single word in the dictionary that can describe how horrendous, awful, terrible, unbearable and painful this film is. From the start G.I Joe is a train wreck. unfortunately there is practically no redeeming quality's to There is not a single word in the dictionary that can describe how horrendous, awful, terrible, unbearable and painful this film is. From the start G.I Joe is a train wreck. unfortunately there is practically no redeeming quality's to this film. This Movie has terrible acting, terrible C.G.I, terrible story and terrible dialog. The movie at times was humorous and fun. The only thing this film barley got right was the action. Plenty of action scenes but this movie lacks everything else. By far the worst movie of the year. If there was a award for worst movie of the year G.I. would win hands down. it would blow the competition away.… Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful
2
DamianP.Aug 21, 2009
This movie isn't for adults. Every time I saw Dennis Quaid, I kept wondering if he's embarrassed at having this movie on his resume. It's about 25 years too late, and I'm not sure how much I would have liked it when I was This movie isn't for adults. Every time I saw Dennis Quaid, I kept wondering if he's embarrassed at having this movie on his resume. It's about 25 years too late, and I'm not sure how much I would have liked it when I was 9 or 10, but I'm pretty sure I would have given it a higher rating.… Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful
1
ChristosMSep 21, 2009
Now,Transformers might not have been much of a serious movie but at least you could use it's revolutionary visuals as a highly amusing experience.G.I joe,aside the fact it's mostly a disgusting american propaganda,also suffers from Now,Transformers might not have been much of a serious movie but at least you could use it's revolutionary visuals as a highly amusing experience.G.I joe,aside the fact it's mostly a disgusting american propaganda,also suffers from b-rated visuals,copmared to that of Transformers or the upcoming Avatar and silly,silly performances!That Step-Up guy is just horrible.I only pitty the Eiffel Tower!… Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful
1
AdamKNov 14, 2009
This movie is absolutely awful. I grew up watching Transformers, GI Joe, and other shows along the same basis. In saying that, I have seen all of the above movies. This movie had incredibly terrible special effects, acting, writing, and This movie is absolutely awful. I grew up watching Transformers, GI Joe, and other shows along the same basis. In saying that, I have seen all of the above movies. This movie had incredibly terrible special effects, acting, writing, and directing. There is nothing good to say about this movie. I am glad I did not spend the money to see this in the theater and only wish I could say I did not spend the money to rent it.… Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful
4
SteveGAug 24, 2009
This is a big budget summer action movie with lots of well done special effects. It has a roller coaster kind of quality. But it is intellectually numbing and onlly slightly less insipid than the Transformer fiasco of earlier in the summer. This is a big budget summer action movie with lots of well done special effects. It has a roller coaster kind of quality. But it is intellectually numbing and onlly slightly less insipid than the Transformer fiasco of earlier in the summer. The funny thing is that it is clearly set up as the first of more than one of these. That's amazing.… Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful
2
Mikester7Jan 27, 2011
Terrible. The acting was terrible and the CGI was horrific for a movie from recently. Dialogue was really bad too, one to avoid to be honest. Pretty pathetic all round.....
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
All this user's reviews
10
SupernintendohAug 29, 2009
A 10, just because. People that give movies Zero' and for th Stupidest Reason. Horrible Acting, Worst Movie ever. Like if any of you can act any better. LOL, Oh and those who talk about being the worst movie ever. You guys and gals are A 10, just because. People that give movies Zero' and for th Stupidest Reason. Horrible Acting, Worst Movie ever. Like if any of you can act any better. LOL, Oh and those who talk about being the worst movie ever. You guys and gals are idiots. I bet you say that to every movie. Sure why not. I find Movies entertaining and Fun. I like to watch moveis not to see every picture prefect and in-perfect movie. I have seen bad and this does not come close to bad {BLOOD RAYNE ANYONE) Maybe i should call Uwe a 10 for every movie he makes. LOL. GI JOE, your OK.… Expand
3 of 4 users found this helpful
3
grandpajoe6191Sep 29, 2011
Foolish it is to create "G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra"; a inane movie with dull action and a 7 year-old-can-write-that story. Possibly one of the worst, no, biggest Razzie flicks of the year.
3 of 5 users found this helpful32
All this user's reviews
2
YoJoeOct 4, 2009
If you enjoy Power Rangers this one is for you.
1 of 2 users found this helpful
1
KennyNov 4, 2009
Stephen Sommers once again bring a firecracker, an animal without bones or thorns but very airheaded. A pretentious product, which only helps the less demanding audience can 'flip' with great special effects and the toys of Stephen Sommers once again bring a firecracker, an animal without bones or thorns but very airheaded. A pretentious product, which only helps the less demanding audience can 'flip' with great special effects and the toys of Ghostbusters. Dialogue taken from a script stupid stupid and without foundation, filled with silly jokes and scenes as phantoms. No doubt the movie Sommers filling complies with all the topics of most Hollywood movies, has not been forgotten either. Marlon Wayans could have stayed at home smoking marijuana. Sienna Miller o 'the girl', her character is the big topic of the film. And last the little character named Channing Tatum, "to say about this 'intimate' 'macho'?, Better to say nothing, really, better abstain. No where to get it.… Expand
1 of 2 users found this helpful
3
HalfwelshmanJun 22, 2012
There's a lot wrong with G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. It has a chronically poor script, terrible acting, some ropey-looking special effects, an overlong running time and a plot that defies logic. It's also more than a little amoral, seeminglyThere's a lot wrong with G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. It has a chronically poor script, terrible acting, some ropey-looking special effects, an overlong running time and a plot that defies logic. It's also more than a little amoral, seemingly glamorising warfare by presenting weapons of mass destruction like massive, colourful toys (in fact, much of the film plays like an extended toy commercial, which I suppose any film funded by Hasbro essentially is). Acting-wise, there's very little to write home about, and performances range from generic to awful. All due credit to Christopher Eccleston for keeping a straight face reading his lines, which are all-too-often unintentionally funny, and the less said about Sienna Miller the better. The best performance comes from Ray Park, and as a silent ninja, he does all his talking with his stunning physicality, and his character's back-story shown in flashback is probably the closest the film comes to presenting actual human emotions. To be fair to director Stephen Sommers (The Mummy, Van Helsing) his films tend to be much better when they go completely over-the-top, and G.I. Joe is no exception. Clunky and laughable as the first half of the film is, once the action really kicks up a gear or two, there's fun to be had. The power armour chase, the sword fight and Star Wars homage underwater dogfight are all very exciting and entertaining set pieces. Flat and uninspiring though the majority of the film is, G.I. Joe does offer a few cheap thrills, particularly if you're willing to switch your brain off for a while. If it was shorter, a little better written and acted, it might have been a trashy guilty pleasure, but as it is it's just trash that raises an occasional smile, unintentional or not.… Expand
1 of 2 users found this helpful11
All this user's reviews
5
ZachridW.Oct 30, 2009
It's a "no brainer", that is for sure. I don't know much about the G.I. Joe franchise, but if you are able to turn off your brain for a while - you will enjoy this movie. I wanted to see a stupid story, corny dialogue, It's a "no brainer", that is for sure. I don't know much about the G.I. Joe franchise, but if you are able to turn off your brain for a while - you will enjoy this movie. I wanted to see a stupid story, corny dialogue, superweapons, over-the-top action with CGI up the butt ... and well, that was basically what I got. Good movie to munch popcorn and "MST3000ing" but not worth more than 5 points.… Expand
0 of 1 users found this helpful
10
sanjaykOct 16, 2009
It's very good.
0 of 1 users found this helpful
6
mawOct 30, 2009
It's good enough for a 6 with my lowered expectations. I didn't expect an Oscar-winner like some people here did. I expected it to be extremely cheesy and campy and sure enough it was. And if you suspend logic and ignore bad acting It's good enough for a 6 with my lowered expectations. I didn't expect an Oscar-winner like some people here did. I expected it to be extremely cheesy and campy and sure enough it was. And if you suspend logic and ignore bad acting for a little while, you're going to enjoy this movie. As a long time G.I. Joe fan myself, this movie is good enough.… Expand
0 of 1 users found this helpful
7
FrancisANov 10, 2009
I gave this movie a 7 because I was a huge fan of GI JOE as a kid. If I was the average person who doesn't have any knowledge of GI JOE from the 80's. I would probably give it a 2.5-3 just because the film is looks like a close I gave this movie a 7 because I was a huge fan of GI JOE as a kid. If I was the average person who doesn't have any knowledge of GI JOE from the 80's. I would probably give it a 2.5-3 just because the film is looks like a close replica of how Transformers was shot. Army, secret government task force, action scenes through the city, cheesy relationships, I can go on and on. I read Ebert's review and he was thinking that the Ninjas were in it because they need the asian audience in Japan. Which of course if you are a true JOE fan you would know Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow are a major part of GI Joe/Cobra. When I watched this movie, I watched it like I was that 10 year old boy again. GI Joe was made for 30 year olds who love the nostalgia of their childhood. If this was the worst movie you have ever seen I don't blame you. I really hated Revenge of the Fallen.… Expand
0 of 1 users found this helpful
4
JayHOct 28, 2009
Preposterous movie with a dumb plot that relies on special effects rather than substance. Way way too over the top. The performances are unimpressive and from a production stand point it
0 of 1 users found this helpful
5
EricEAug 16, 2009
Didn't follow GI Joe lore much at all. The whole Baroness used to date Duke thing was dumb. In general it was a terrible adaptation. Hope they don't make any new ones.
0 of 1 users found this helpful
7
MovieLonely94Nov 17, 2010
its cartoonish, but perfect
0 of 1 users found this helpful01
All this user's reviews
0
NazguleroMar 26, 2011
I don't get it. The movie industry is a business. It is there to make money. It sells products, the movies. Before a product is launched, each and every company on the planet does some sort of research on the profitability of the product. GII don't get it. The movie industry is a business. It is there to make money. It sells products, the movies. Before a product is launched, each and every company on the planet does some sort of research on the profitability of the product. GI Joe is a product, right ? Apparently, the pre-lauch research has been skipped, because if they would have shown this crap to a test audience, they would have learned pretty much instantaneously that this product is not fit to be released. Unbelievable.… Expand
0 of 2 users found this helpful02
All this user's reviews
10
R6exMay 5, 2013
Thoroughly entertaining. Lots of action involving cool high-tech toys. Love the motorcycle chase. Animated, but on rails nonetheless. Hot chicks but cleavage is never enough. It feels just like the real-life version of the comic book heroes.Thoroughly entertaining. Lots of action involving cool high-tech toys. Love the motorcycle chase. Animated, but on rails nonetheless. Hot chicks but cleavage is never enough. It feels just like the real-life version of the comic book heroes. Overall, I enjoyed the non-stop thrill ride from start to end.… Expand
0 of 1 users found this helpful01
All this user's reviews
6
RJSmooveMar 19, 2011
I doubt many people will agree with me on this one, but at least hear me out before voting my review down. I actually went to see this movie near the end of its theatrical run, well after hearing and reading all of the negative feedback. II doubt many people will agree with me on this one, but at least hear me out before voting my review down. I actually went to see this movie near the end of its theatrical run, well after hearing and reading all of the negative feedback. I decided to see it any way because it was one of the last few movies in theatres that I hadn't seen that summer. I had a choice to see G.I. Joe, or some chick flick that my mom was going to see. I chose G.I. Joe for obvious reasons. It turned out to be a pretty big surprise. I definitely liked this one better than Transformers 2, and I did like Transformers 2. Going into it with low expectations turned out to be a very good thing. There were complaints about the quality of the CGI, but I didn't have any problems with it. G.I. Joe was actually a fun summer blockbuster. If anyone went to see it expecting an intellectual experience, it's your own fault you missed it. There were also alot of complaints that important G.I. Joe material from the cartoon and comics was missing, but you have to understand that this should really be considered a prequal. It's the "Rise of Cobra". I think the sequal is going to be what everyone was hoping this one would be, now that Cobra has risen. And dispite what people hated about the movie, there were some nice flashbacks that filled in all the gaps, and the end was a nice lead into part two. I also liked that Stephen Sommers had a few cameos of a few of his Mummy stars. Speaking of The Mummy, that's the type of feel this movie has. The material is obviously cheesy, but it's all about having fun while you're watching it. They never took the movie too seriously, and to most viewers that was their downfall, but in my opinion it paid off. The story was obviously bull **** otherwise it wouldn't be G.I. Joe. But the story was told from beginning to end with no missing pieces. Maybe its just me, but I didn't see any plot holes that went unfilled by the time it wrapped up. So overall the story is pretty solid, to me. If anyone disagrees (I'm sure that's pretty much everyone), at least we can take comfort in the fact that the writers of Zombieland are preparing the script for the sequal. As well as the scripts for the Deadpool spin-off and Zombieland 2. I'd give it a 75%.… Expand
0 of 1 users found this helpful01
All this user's reviews
8
ThegodfathersonFeb 17, 2013
I really think the Critics are blind- gi joe rise of the cobra was the ultimate thrill ride..... Every single actor nailed it! I mean the story is good it's fast paced! Not every movie has to be critically acclaimed... I give this movie 8/10,I really think the Critics are blind- gi joe rise of the cobra was the ultimate thrill ride..... Every single actor nailed it! I mean the story is good it's fast paced! Not every movie has to be critically acclaimed... I give this movie 8/10, must watch... Set aside the review, which totally suck.… Expand
0 of 2 users found this helpful02
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9
Voodoo123Aug 23, 2017
Guilty please of mine so do excuse me....
+It is every saturday morning cartoon you watched in the 90's turned live action
+Every actor seems to be aware of this and milks their character beautifully -The sequel douses the 'flame' after thisGuilty please of mine so do excuse me....
+It is every saturday morning cartoon you watched in the 90's turned live action
+Every actor seems to be aware of this and milks their character beautifully
-The sequel douses the 'flame' after this gem of a film… Expand
0 of 1 users found this helpful01
All this user's reviews
7
EdHAug 7, 2009
[***SPOILERS***] DON'T READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT. The movie was great, the plot was good, and the actors were good. Great special effects, action, and fight scenes too. The only part of the story I disliked was Stormshadow [***SPOILERS***] DON'T READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT. The movie was great, the plot was good, and the actors were good. Great special effects, action, and fight scenes too. The only part of the story I disliked was Stormshadow seems to be dead, and Baroness is turned good. To me Stormshadow and Snake Eyes were the most popular characters in the cartton and comics. It seems silly if they plan on doing a trilogy that killing Stormshadow off in the first one is ridiculous! I even stayed through the credits to see if they pulled a clip of him living only to be let down. It's left open to a sequel and Stormshadows body wasn't destroyed and Baroness could possibly be turned bad again. Hopefully it's added into the story. So with that I took a possible 8 and minused a point for Stormshadow dying and Baroness turning.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
6
SeanGAug 15, 2009
Ok well its no masterpeace but GI JOE: RISE OF COBRA is 1 thing a over the top film, no dout about it. The acting maybe dier but if you wont a simple explosive movie that will not challenge your brain to much then this is for you but if not, Ok well its no masterpeace but GI JOE: RISE OF COBRA is 1 thing a over the top film, no dout about it. The acting maybe dier but if you wont a simple explosive movie that will not challenge your brain to much then this is for you but if not, wate untill it limps on the shelfs of BlockBusters.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
0
DavidWAug 10, 2009
To Justin O, Wrong, movies are not just a form of entertainment. They are an art form that thousands upon thousands of collective man hours and money are poured into. As audience, we should do no less than expect a work of art if we are not To Justin O, Wrong, movies are not just a form of entertainment. They are an art form that thousands upon thousands of collective man hours and money are poured into. As audience, we should do no less than expect a work of art if we are not only paying them, but giving them hours of our lives. I would argue that people need to expect far MORE from the movies they see. Only then will the industry turn around from this type of garbage.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
6
BenCAug 11, 2009
So it's no Batman, but there is some fun here - I think particularly for people familiar with the franchise. If I didn't know anything about GI Joe and saw this, I'd be much more critical. But, as I do, it was fun to see the So it's no Batman, but there is some fun here - I think particularly for people familiar with the franchise. If I didn't know anything about GI Joe and saw this, I'd be much more critical. But, as I do, it was fun to see the old action figures running around (despite new suits and well, LAME looking vehicles - seriously, if they make toys out of those planes and subs, blech!) Don't expect too much, and this should be fun. I went into thinking about every GI Joe storyline I ever made myself; at some point they'll crash into the sofa and a 'giant' cat will sit on Cobra Commander. With that kind of childhood precedent, this plot was much better. … Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
9
JessGAug 10, 2009
Excellent. So many visual effects, good story, the critic destroyed it but it was a very good movie. It's hard to adapt a movie from the cartoons but it was a very good job. Congratulations top the producers, actors and everybody who Excellent. So many visual effects, good story, the critic destroyed it but it was a very good movie. It's hard to adapt a movie from the cartoons but it was a very good job. Congratulations top the producers, actors and everybody who was involved in this project.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
0
DanielNAug 10, 2009
This movie was so bad i walked out of the cinema half way through. sometimes you can tell if a movie is going to be complete crap or not by the first 30 minutes. this was one of them.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
4
AndyLAug 10, 2009
A largely aquatic movie accented by a lot of broken glass.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
0
JaxAug 10, 2009
Utterly, utterly bad. How could people even compare this to Transformers ROTF? Now that was a mind-numbing action movie. This wasnt even impressive CGI. Seriously... ICE FLOATS!!! so it cant fall down and crush your enemies if you're in Utterly, utterly bad. How could people even compare this to Transformers ROTF? Now that was a mind-numbing action movie. This wasnt even impressive CGI. Seriously... ICE FLOATS!!! so it cant fall down and crush your enemies if you're in the middle of an underwater battle.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
9
JGrantAug 16, 2009
I have no understanding whatsoever of critics.It's actually quite amusing.Honestly, the fact that a movie like Dragonball Evolution can get a higher average than G.I. Joe is beyond me!These critics just try to hard on thinking what they I have no understanding whatsoever of critics.It's actually quite amusing.Honestly, the fact that a movie like Dragonball Evolution can get a higher average than G.I. Joe is beyond me!These critics just try to hard on thinking what they think is "professional" expecting high art in movies where it cannot possibly be due.There is great action and it is pure entertainment.If your'e an action/adventure lover you'll enjoy this film.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
9
Dr.JimAug 10, 2009
I don't get these reviews. I read the NY Times and The New Yorker, listen to NPR, and dont' have TV, so you would think I would hate something as mindless as GI Joe. But A.O. Scott at the NY Times and so many other reviewers are I don't get these reviews. I read the NY Times and The New Yorker, listen to NPR, and dont' have TV, so you would think I would hate something as mindless as GI Joe. But A.O. Scott at the NY Times and so many other reviewers are thinking too much. With a "blockbuster" like GI Joe, you have to suspend disbelief (yes, I know it's supposed to be "suspend belief, but I think my phrase is more accurate) and just go with what GI Joe is about: action, cool weapons and technology, beautiful women, however utterly implausible it is. If you like this sort of action/adventure movie, you'll like GI Joe. Heck, I loved GI Joe!!… Expand
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7
DWAug 10, 2009
Succeeds where Transformers 2 failed. It's dumb, sure, but it's not stupid to the point of feeling insulting. Moves along at a good pace, and doesn't really give you much time or reason to stop and think about how ridiculous Succeeds where Transformers 2 failed. It's dumb, sure, but it's not stupid to the point of feeling insulting. Moves along at a good pace, and doesn't really give you much time or reason to stop and think about how ridiculous it is. Of course a lot of it is obviously ridiculous, but what do you expect from a live action G.I. Joe cartoon? You can point at laugh at the moments of bad CGI (like, say, the polar bear) if that's your thing, but really this movie had it where it counted (the big Paris chase scene and most of the other big action sequences, aka most of the movie). A worthwhile escape from the heat and real life.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
7
JimGAug 7, 2009
It was a fun, somewhat dumb, action movie.
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3
JacobCAug 7, 2009
I feel I must steal a line from a movie review the san fransico bay guardian--it serves no other purpose other than to establish the bottom of the barrel. If you're above the age of 14 and have a fully functioning brain, you probably I feel I must steal a line from a movie review the san fransico bay guardian--it serves no other purpose other than to establish the bottom of the barrel. If you're above the age of 14 and have a fully functioning brain, you probably won't enjoy this movie--other than perhaps snickering what is potentially the worst collection of acting performances of the decade. At Transformers 2 I felt like the director was trying too hard. At GI Joe I felt like the director simply didn't try at all. Sure, there a couple of impressive action scenes, but they were in the commercials. If you're looking for a great escapist action movie, it looks like you'll just have to see Star Trek again.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
1
KeithCAug 7, 2009
This movie gets one star for the action, but other than that the script and acting is HORRIBLE! Sample script, "What are you now?...They can now call me Cobra Commander." This movie left me wondering how bad can Ishtar be? A TOTAL waste of This movie gets one star for the action, but other than that the script and acting is HORRIBLE! Sample script, "What are you now?...They can now call me Cobra Commander." This movie left me wondering how bad can Ishtar be? A TOTAL waste of time, don't waste your money or time. I kept watching wanting it to get better, but it never did. Thank God I saw it for FREE, but it still cost me 2 hours of my life. Not impressed and you won't be either. Even worse is the movie ends with a sequel setup. Why make a bad movie and plan on a sequel? In short, watch some lame reality tv show for 2 hours, it would be more entertaining. The only good thing of this movie is watching the baroness' cleavage for almost the whole movie.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
5
JosephMAug 7, 2009
Potential was there, but it was not capitalized on.
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0
DavidMAug 7, 2009
That video game was awesome! Wait... What? Not a video game? That was the movie? Were they trying to do what Roger Rabbit did with the real people in cartoon land? No, well ok then. This movie sure did love its weak sauce. Weak story, weak That video game was awesome! Wait... What? Not a video game? That was the movie? Were they trying to do what Roger Rabbit did with the real people in cartoon land? No, well ok then. This movie sure did love its weak sauce. Weak story, weak character development, and very weak CGI. Save yourself some money and go buy Surf Ninjas from the 99 cent bin. You'll feel about the same afterward.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
0
IsaacMAug 8, 2009
what a terrible movie. Bad writing and horrible acting. I actually wanted duke to die just so i wouldn't have to put up with the unbelievably bad line delivery his actor gave. It was like he was locked in a room full of various what a terrible movie. Bad writing and horrible acting. I actually wanted duke to die just so i wouldn't have to put up with the unbelievably bad line delivery his actor gave. It was like he was locked in a room full of various amphetamines for hours before each shoot, every day, the drugs building up in his brain damaging his speech cortex and making his acting even worse. Oh and "Commander" is played by that kid from Angels In The Outfield, making this the pansiest cobra commander my childhood can comprehend. Then they give him a facemask to make him look tough, but he just looks like the combine soldiers from half-life in a semi-clear mask with gene simmon's hairline etched into it. And I won't even both with mrs. fickle mcswinger (nee love interest).… Expand
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0
DanDAug 8, 2009
Prime example of when cartoon is NOT meant for the big screen. Why is Hollywood so compelled to destroy cartoon franchises of the 80s? Thank you Stephen Sommers for destroying my fond childhood memories of G.I. JOE.
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0
TonydAug 9, 2009
Bad writing, bad directing, horrible animation for the most part, pretty much because of Horrible producing. who hired these guys? what a way to ruin a fun idea.
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9
DDAug 9, 2009
Saw the movie last night....Yes the plot line was kind of dumb but overall it was a good action movie.
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10
DanielLAug 9, 2009
It was a great movie with cool action scenes and somewhat interesting storyline.
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4
VincentXAug 9, 2009
Sienna Miller did a perfect job, but in the end the writer destroy them all, and made the only one interesting character became a joke
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8
mauriciolOct 18, 2009
I had a good time seeing this movie, it was just what i expected, i mean its hard to live up to GI joe but they did.
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8
DavidLAug 10, 2009
I don't believe any of the top critics have ever watched the G.I. Joe cartoon, which is exactly the targeted audience. They should relax.
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10
AaronWAug 10, 2009
I loved the movie. It captured the simple action experience I had from my youth in a live action film.
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8
AnonymousMCAug 11, 2009
Where is the love for this film? its all well and good to pan a film saying it has no depth, but its not meant to, when i was a kid the only thing going through my mind was "snake eyes, is bad ass" i truly wish the critics would wake up andWhere is the love for this film? its all well and good to pan a film saying it has no depth, but its not meant to, when i was a kid the only thing going through my mind was "snake eyes, is bad ass" i truly wish the critics would wake up and stop being so pathetically preachy… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
9
R.HAug 10, 2009
I really enjoyed this movie. It had great action, comedy, actors fit the characters, was kind of cheesy. But hey so were the G.I. Joe cartoons! I grew up with G.I. Joe and I think they did a good job all around.
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1
MichaelAug 10, 2009
I get that it's not supposed to be taken seriously and that it's based off the cartoon. It's still a dumb movie, poorly directed and acted (ignoring Eccleston), and Cobra Commander has the worst voice ever for a villain. A I get that it's not supposed to be taken seriously and that it's based off the cartoon. It's still a dumb movie, poorly directed and acted (ignoring Eccleston), and Cobra Commander has the worst voice ever for a villain. A complete waste of my time.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
3
VBAug 10, 2009
I had mixed feelings at the end of the movie, however it was more towards the negative side. I thought the writing was terrible, if anything, and I also used to watch the cartoons, but the movie was a bit too corny for my liking. The story I had mixed feelings at the end of the movie, however it was more towards the negative side. I thought the writing was terrible, if anything, and I also used to watch the cartoons, but the movie was a bit too corny for my liking. The story was not that great, I thought the end twist was definitely a highlight to the plot, but other than that.... movie was pretty bad. Definitely similar to Transformers 2 but no where near how good Transformers was.… Expand
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8
JerodJAug 13, 2009
Pure popcorn entertainment. Definitely not a thinking man's film (if the concept of ice that sinks offends your intelligence, skip this flick), but as pure eye candy and cheesy fun this movie succeeds brilliantly. The acting and writing Pure popcorn entertainment. Definitely not a thinking man's film (if the concept of ice that sinks offends your intelligence, skip this flick), but as pure eye candy and cheesy fun this movie succeeds brilliantly. The acting and writing are deliciously over the top and totally cheesy, the action is loud and sparkly but far more cohesive than the caffeine-addled creature that was Transformers 2. Imagine that this movie is based on some of the battles and one-liners that you created as a 10-11 year old playing with the toys and you'll have a pretty good idea of what to expect, except on the big screen it's just as cool as you thought it was way back then. Cobra Commander is probably the best villian to hit the screen in a long time, from an unintentionally (or perhaps intentionally) hilarious point of view. Suspend your disbelief for the length of the movie and let the kid in you enjoy it ("not only do the suits let you run faster than a speeding car, they have fully automatic machine guns! Haha! Beat that, Cobra! *explosion noises*"). If you can do that, you'll love this flick.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
7
FishSAug 10, 2009
Dumb but lots of fun. Revenge of the Fallen coulda been this good if it followed a similar running time.
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6
NeilBAug 10, 2009
OK. Nothing crazy. The scene in France was really pretty amazing and gave me hope. The ending was just lets all the air out of the balloon.
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8
NickGAug 15, 2009
It held my interest and was very entertaining.Critics who gave it a negative rating just exaggerated on it flaws.It wasn't bad at all-It was definately worth the money.
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8
DrakeGAug 16, 2009
Rotten Tomatoes gives a more accurate score of 49 based on 122 reviews.This movie was obviously not for everyone's taste.There were some really good scenes, like the car chase in Paris and the fight scenes with the Baroness and Scarlett Rotten Tomatoes gives a more accurate score of 49 based on 122 reviews.This movie was obviously not for everyone's taste.There were some really good scenes, like the car chase in Paris and the fight scenes with the Baroness and Scarlett to the fights with Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow.I actually liked it-it was hugely underrated.The acting wasn't bad.Sienna Miller and Storm Shadow acted very well.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
6
TomMAug 18, 2009
I went into this film not expecting much. It was better than I expected. My main complaint is that the special effects were not that great.
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8
HamrikL.Aug 18, 2009
Just because critics disliked this film does not make this a bad film.I really enjoyed it.With action films you just watch the film and dont think too much.That's the point.It's not Schindler's List!
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9
DavidGAug 10, 2009
The critic always destroy a movie based in cartoons, I loved this movie, I think it was amazing! Many people will say that is unrealistic but I think NOTHING IN THE MOVIE WORLD COULD BE UNREALISTIC! Excellent Movie, I would like for the next The critic always destroy a movie based in cartoons, I loved this movie, I think it was amazing! Many people will say that is unrealistic but I think NOTHING IN THE MOVIE WORLD COULD BE UNREALISTIC! Excellent Movie, I would like for the next movie a non human enemy.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
8
TylerSAug 10, 2009
This movie was everything the GIjoe cartoons of my childhood where. Over the top action, crazy doomsday weapons and a last minute save by GI Joe. I wasn't cray about the ending they gave Baroness. but i feel they definitely left room This movie was everything the GIjoe cartoons of my childhood where. Over the top action, crazy doomsday weapons and a last minute save by GI Joe. I wasn't cray about the ending they gave Baroness. but i feel they definitely left room for a sequel, and hopefully they will have flint and Lady J this time.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
8
ZachRAug 29, 2009
If your a fan of G.I. Joe from the 80's, you'll love this movie. For everyone else.. its only an slightly above average action movie. I'm rating this based on my love of G.I. Joe, and urge every fan to watch it...
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10
NatalieSAug 7, 2009
If you think you want to see this movie you're right. Unpretentious summer fun. Totally worth the trip. Go Joe Go!!!
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9
MikeMAug 7, 2009
Not too bad....pretty good escapism. Definitely had the feel of GI Joe, not too serious, hi-tech weapons, etc. Goes by fast and without a dull moment. Got a lot of undeserved bad press, so most people will come out pleasantly surprised. The Not too bad....pretty good escapism. Definitely had the feel of GI Joe, not too serious, hi-tech weapons, etc. Goes by fast and without a dull moment. Got a lot of undeserved bad press, so most people will come out pleasantly surprised. The trailers (especially the initial one) don't give the movie justice...wow, they really need to get a new movie trailer producer or train up the existing one.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
5
BillBAug 7, 2009
Pretty disappointing a lot of potholes that even the CGI special effects and actions can't conceal. Some of the characters feel too cartoonish. It feels like being bombarded with the same effect of seeing The Mummy once again. The story Pretty disappointing a lot of potholes that even the CGI special effects and actions can't conceal. Some of the characters feel too cartoonish. It feels like being bombarded with the same effect of seeing The Mummy once again. The story really needs editing. It's just a film about good guys vs. bad guys with little to go on their poor character development.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
8
PetraAug 7, 2009
Great movie.
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9
JustinOAug 7, 2009
I feel people are looking for a bit too much in movies now a days, they are simply a form of entertainment, stop bashing your heads over so much small detail and enjoy them for what they are. This movie wasn't the best in the world, but I feel people are looking for a bit too much in movies now a days, they are simply a form of entertainment, stop bashing your heads over so much small detail and enjoy them for what they are. This movie wasn't the best in the world, but I would hate to see it fall into the same category as Transformers ROTF, which I feel was no where near as bad as people and critics said it is.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
10
[Anonymous]Aug 8, 2009
People don't seem to understand that G.I.Joe was a bit silly in the 80's cartoon. People complain that it is not true to it. Well parents in the 80's thought our G.I.Joes weren't authentic to theirs. All in all it's People don't seem to understand that G.I.Joe was a bit silly in the 80's cartoon. People complain that it is not true to it. Well parents in the 80's thought our G.I.Joes weren't authentic to theirs. All in all it's filled with great action and was well worth my time and money. The only thing that really bugged me was Snake Eyes rubber face , those lips were freaky. All in all I hope they go on to make the two scheduled sequils. I lied that the Joes used semi normal weapons and cobra used futuristic ones like in the cartoon. I think that Cobra Commander could have used the cloth mask but again in the cartoons their was at least three variations of Cobra Commander so it isn't really that important. I am disapointed at peoples rating of this movie as well as Transformers 2 which was great as well. Just remember that these are kids toys turned to movies. Don't take it so seriously.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
6
wetwebworkAug 8, 2009
Fun fast action film. Cleavage, guns, bombs, planes, villains and heroes. Silly, but completely enjoyable for what it is. Better than the too serious T4 by far, and probably Transformers 2 as well.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
4
EnzoP.Aug 8, 2009
G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra could be the loudest movie of the summer. Its right next to Terminator Salvation and Transformers 2. That helps a lot for this movie to be more interesting and fun. The acting was good enough to make kids say wow! G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra could be the loudest movie of the summer. Its right next to Terminator Salvation and Transformers 2. That helps a lot for this movie to be more interesting and fun. The acting was good enough to make kids say wow! That was sick. Also Marlon Wayans was good enough to make kids laugh and make grown ups chuckle. Most grown ups will probably be annoyed by the cliche characters and how predictable it is. Overall audiences will think its mediocre or bad. Still not surprised the critics hated it didn't look that good from the trailer. I just saw it for some entertainment. Well I got it overall an alright film.… Expand
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9
SteveKAug 8, 2009
For all the haters: You went to see a movie called "G.I. JOE" based on an 80s cartoon, and you expected a good script or realistic dialogue? What did you expect? This is a live-action cartoon. The effects were a bit sub-par (i.e. - fake For all the haters: You went to see a movie called "G.I. JOE" based on an 80s cartoon, and you expected a good script or realistic dialogue? What did you expect? This is a live-action cartoon. The effects were a bit sub-par (i.e. - fake looking), but it was what I expected: two hours of dumb action and escapism. Two thumbs up!… Expand
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1
NeilRAug 8, 2009
This movie is a travesty of stupidity. I am not sure if the actors were terrible, or if they had nothing to work with. The CGI was far too over the top, and the action was worse than bad, it was boring. A couple of decent martial arts fights This movie is a travesty of stupidity. I am not sure if the actors were terrible, or if they had nothing to work with. The CGI was far too over the top, and the action was worse than bad, it was boring. A couple of decent martial arts fights couldn't save it, and the ending was beyond ludicrous. Please don't see it, they might be tempted to remake it without a significant overhaul.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
10
TomJAug 8, 2009
Good for what it was... action/adventure/high tech/summer popcorn flick. Just don't expect Shakespeare and you'll enjoy the movie (unlike all these silly "pro" reviewers and "serious" amateur reviewers)!
0 of 0 users found this helpful
10
SeanSAug 8, 2009
I can't believe all the negative press this movie is getting... it was pretty good and worth watching. IMO these critics are just upset that they didn't get their pre-screening and had to watch it like regular fold....Oh the horror!
0 of 0 users found this helpful
10
DanMAug 8, 2009
Smart and sophisticated. This is a deep layered work, much like Joyce's Ulysses, and as i have only seen it twice i have yet to fully digest it, that said I know two things for sure 1) this movie is a water shed moment in the history Smart and sophisticated. This is a deep layered work, much like Joyce's Ulysses, and as i have only seen it twice i have yet to fully digest it, that said I know two things for sure 1) this movie is a water shed moment in the history film 2) this is the most culturally significant film since Birth of a Nation. 1) this film takes a bold new steep in genrabending and has carried it out flawlessly creating a new way to invision film making. The Coens brothers have made stumbling steps toward the dream that Sommers has realised, notably their adaptation of McCarthy's No Country, but where other directors have only fumbled at what might be, Sommers has created it as Wells did before him. This is film at its best as it speaks to the human condition through multiple perspectives to better understand man and his place in the world. With Joe Sommers has done the seemingly imposable task of genrabending Syriana and Team America into the next citizen kane. The layers of these two gernas intersect in so many ways that a life time could not uncover all the conections, no one man could ever complettly understand this film and it is therefore criticproof. There is no doubt that this film has raised the bar for what a movie can be, film studence every where should burn their colections and focus on the future. GO JOE! 2) not since a birth of a nation have a people been forced to reconsile their future with their history by cinema. that is until now. Joe mutli perspectival aprouch raises so many questions what it means to be American every one who sees this film will be forced to examin there fundamental preconceptions. This film has held up a mirior that we as a people can not look away from. what has been seen cannot be unseen, and we must now move forward as we did after the decoration of independents and the civil war and redefine ourselfs as a nation. We must know once again who we are, and knowing is half the battle.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
0
JimOAug 8, 2009
I went into this movie with low expectations and knew it was going to be kinda cheesy as it is a movie based on toys. I was still hoping it would be good summer fun. But this movie was far worse than I had anticipated. The plot is stupid, I went into this movie with low expectations and knew it was going to be kinda cheesy as it is a movie based on toys. I was still hoping it would be good summer fun. But this movie was far worse than I had anticipated. The plot is stupid, the motivations of the characters aren't explained or make sense at all, the dialogue is completely stupid and the jokes are not even funny. This movie isn't even saved by the action scenes. The fight scenes are completely unbelievable. I know you have to suspend reality some for a movie like this, but if it is completely out of control then the action just becomes boring. After all, it's just some actors running around in front of a green screen. Do yourself a favor and don't waste your money or time.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
9
TONYTONYAug 9, 2009
Movie was fun and face paced and awesome action. Too many haters and everyone thinking they are actually a New York Times critic. If you were a fan of GI Joe, Transformers, Thundercats, He-Man than you will not be dissapointed. If you are Movie was fun and face paced and awesome action. Too many haters and everyone thinking they are actually a New York Times critic. If you were a fan of GI Joe, Transformers, Thundercats, He-Man than you will not be dissapointed. If you are not a fan of these than go see Julie & Julia.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
1
tobiascAug 9, 2009
This movie was complete garbage but i gave it a one because i actually like some of the actors, and the action scenes were decent however the assault on the underwater base not only had the same scenes as star wars when the death star is This movie was complete garbage but i gave it a one because i actually like some of the actors, and the action scenes were decent however the assault on the underwater base not only had the same scenes as star wars when the death star is being assaulted but it also had the same script and sound effects(but at least they allowed you to see what was happening unlike some action movies), however the script, the premise, and the flow of the movie were total trash. For example (and this might be a spoiler) the baroness goes undercover, gets married to a scientist for the sole purpose of breaking into his laboratory while he is there to kill the gaurds and weaponize a weapon? All this just to set up the action scene in france. I wanted to see this movie but my god why and how do you weaponize a weapon? Which is a weapon that was built and manufactured by your boss? It makes no sense none. Also if your a top secret squad financed and put together by at least ten governments would you then allow your operatives to be captured by the police in paris? Why would you launch a missle at the white house while your operative is in the basement replacing the president in his bunker? then when the prez is done hiding his sorry ass below ground why would his staff give him a round of applause for coming out of hiding? It would have been nice if they decided to focus on the script, the plot, and the action a bit more and had come up with something a bit more creative then this pile of garbage.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
9
APersonSep 3, 2009
The fact that this is scoring 20 points less than Terminator Salvation is an absolute joke. At least GI Joe stays true to what made it's franchise good/popular, unlike that other film. Anyways, critics are going to hate this film The fact that this is scoring 20 points less than Terminator Salvation is an absolute joke. At least GI Joe stays true to what made it's franchise good/popular, unlike that other film. Anyways, critics are going to hate this film because it's a big, dumb, CGI-fueled extravanganza, but if you compare it to other big, dumb, CGI-fueled films, it's actually better than average. The characters and acting, while not brilliant, are solid enough (and better than you'd expect). The action scenes are exciting and the film is entertaining throughout, and while the story is highly predictable, at least there is a story there that makes sense and actually builds on things that it establishes instead of just forgetting about them (aka. Terminator Salvation, Dragonball Evolution, The Incredible Hulk, etc). Overall, if you've seen The Mummy, you know what to expect from this film- an above average and highly entertaining action film. If you like action films and feel like switching your brain off for a bit, go see it.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
6
RaniMOct 9, 2009
This movie can be resumed as: Good action + Bad script = Above-average movie.
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0
JacobPAug 11, 2009
It's always nice when you go to see a movie and expect it to be poor, but it turns to be pretty good. That's what I was expecting of GI Joe. I mean expectations couldn't lower. A movie: based on a cartoon from the 80's: It's always nice when you go to see a movie and expect it to be poor, but it turns to be pretty good. That's what I was expecting of GI Joe. I mean expectations couldn't lower. A movie: based on a cartoon from the 80's: based on a doll for boys. You can't really sink expectations any lower, so by the viral advertising they've been doing I was half hoping it'd turn out to be fun. It's not so much though; it sort of coasts by on nostalgia. Had I watched GI Joe as a kid or got into the mythos I imagine I would've gotten a lot more out of it, but instead there's clunky CGI, boring action scenes of which the best are featured in the trailer, the granted bit of military propaganda and jokes you see coming miles away. The film is about a solider called Duke, who CAN"T ACT to save his soul; numerous times throughout the movie I kept wondering 'What is up with this guy?' He mumbles his dialogue like a sooky boy who can't get his way and he wears the same expression throughout the whole films. Every time he opened his mouth I could feel my eyebrows going up my head in dread anticipation. Earlier I was saying that I was expecting this movie to be a guilty pleasure but in the end I just felt guilty for wasting 10 dollars on it; Duke is a factor. If anything, it shows you where rock-hard abs can get you. Marlon Waynes is in it too; he's the buddy of the hero and of course MUST play the comic relief; most of it though is him hitting on the sole female member of GI Joe and her turning him down and also a stupid joke about the difference between white people and black people. It was odd watching him hitting on that female soldier though; because each attempt was a crude attempt and in reality she would have complained about sexual harassment. Because it is sexual harassment! It's not funny; do not think it's okay to do. Anyway, by and by, these two knuckleheads join "GI Joe", which is a top secret tier of American government; similar to FOXHOUND or CONTROL from Get Smart or even Team America from Team America. in order to fight the villain Destro, who's played by the great Christopher Eccleston. Eccleston never mails it in in whatever he's performing and this is no exception. Every so often you get tremendously talented actors who star in atrocious films; like Ben Kingsly in Bloodrayne or Tommy Lee Jones in Hunted; and that's not the case with Eccleston. This is a bad movie, but he gives it his all, just like everything else he has a hand with. It's nice to see. Anyway, there's a lot of boring, uninspired and completely forgettable shooting and fighting sequences; lots of CGI. What is it with all this CGI? Why does every movie have it? It's rarely done well. I've only seen it done discernibly in a few films; I miss the days of puppets and animatronics. There's an underwater part of the movie; it's a bit like watching a pixar cartoon. A poorly done pixar cartoon. At the end of the day, this film is a clone of Team America: World Police, only without the puppets and with zero humour. Team America was made in order to parody dumb, cookie-cutter films like this and It was odd seeing the parallels. From the cut and run remarks and one-liners they spout, to the scene where the joes are enjoying a little R guaranteed you've seen this movie before. Funnily enough, there's even a scene where the bad guys go to France, and yes: collapse the Eiffel Tower with a rocket propelled grenade. I would recommend either renting Team America instead of seeing GI Joe or getting into Metal Gear Solid if you want a fantastical take on the military. Big Boss and his sons greatly outweigh both the GI Joe's and the Cobras in terms of style.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
2
markjAug 11, 2009
Ernie Pyle must be spinning in his grave. G.I. Joe is a complete waste of time and money for anyone who has an I.Q. higher than room temperature. On the other hand, village idiots with an extra ten bucks in their pockets to spare will find Ernie Pyle must be spinning in his grave. G.I. Joe is a complete waste of time and money for anyone who has an I.Q. higher than room temperature. On the other hand, village idiots with an extra ten bucks in their pockets to spare will find enough explosions and pretty colors in it to keep them amused. … Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
0
****Aug 11, 2009
Anyone who rates this movie more than 2 is a complete fucking moron and deserves to be wiped from the face of the earth.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
10
CoryCAug 10, 2009
I'm a huge fan of 80's G.I. Joe and I was very satisfied with this rethinking/ modern version. This was an origins story to all the major characters and very well-done considering they had to fit it all in under 2 hrs. Hard to do I'm a huge fan of 80's G.I. Joe and I was very satisfied with this rethinking/ modern version. This was an origins story to all the major characters and very well-done considering they had to fit it all in under 2 hrs. Hard to do but they did it and it was super fun. It did what all comic book/cartoon movies have to do which is justify these fictional characters in the "real" world (or as real as the cinematic world gets!) Hats off to Sommers et al. You didn't disappoint the real fans of G.I. Joe. Hate on, haters... Yo Joe!… Expand
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9
RichardAug 10, 2009
Everyone is too busy looking to a movie for art instead of pure entertainment. Look people, did you watch GI Joe when you were a kid? Are you too young to have watched it?? Who cares??? If you want non-stop over the top fun and action go Everyone is too busy looking to a movie for art instead of pure entertainment. Look people, did you watch GI Joe when you were a kid? Are you too young to have watched it?? Who cares??? If you want non-stop over the top fun and action go watch this movie. If you're looking for artsy fartsy crap, go to the fricken art museum.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
8
NinaBAug 12, 2009
I went on a weekday, the theater was full and everyone had a good time. How much more do you want from a summer action movie? The effects are spectacular, the women are beautiful, Channing Tatum holds down the star role. Come December I went on a weekday, the theater was full and everyone had a good time. How much more do you want from a summer action movie? The effects are spectacular, the women are beautiful, Channing Tatum holds down the star role. Come December I'll be ready to watch the Oscar contenders, but Joe delivers a rockin' summer night!… Expand
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1
JudyTAug 12, 2009
One of the most painful movies I have ever sat through.
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5
AaronR.Aug 10, 2009
I just want to say i hope star wars 8 is not the next movie. as i was thinking that's star wars and that's star wars. any way star wars 7 was good i mean Gi Joe.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
5
MichaelAAug 12, 2009
A fun action flick with cool chase scene, but unfortunately balanced with dumb one liner, stupid dialogues, and robotic acting.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
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