G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Paramount Pictures | Release Date: August 7, 2009
5.3
USER SCORE
Mixed or average reviews based on 399 Ratings
USER RATING DISTRIBUTION
Positive:
164
Mixed:
107
Negative:
128
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User Reviews

User scoreBy dateMost helpful
6
JohnHAug 15, 2009
I think the people that go to a movie called G.I. Joe with expectations of cinema genius are the frickin morons. It's summer fun, okay. There's plenty of action, beautiful women and evil bad guys. Get some popcorn, sit back, relax I think the people that go to a movie called G.I. Joe with expectations of cinema genius are the frickin morons. It's summer fun, okay. There's plenty of action, beautiful women and evil bad guys. Get some popcorn, sit back, relax and enjoy. It's fun.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
5
NickR.Aug 15, 2009
Better than what i thought it would be, but considering the fact that i had the lowest expectations for this movie, isn't great.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
10
JasonKAug 15, 2009
I give this movie a 10 because it knows what it's trying to be. It's a summer movie rollercoaster with loud booms and eye candy stunts and CGI. I grew up on the cartoon and it was a blast seeing it all come to life. Can't wait I give this movie a 10 because it knows what it's trying to be. It's a summer movie rollercoaster with loud booms and eye candy stunts and CGI. I grew up on the cartoon and it was a blast seeing it all come to life. Can't wait for the sequel!!… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
3
KenSAug 16, 2009
If you have a brain with even the slightest bit of activity, you will not like this movie.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
10
CayoHAug 17, 2009
I'm shocked at how the bandwagon effect is pushing reviewers to tear into smashingly good summer movie. I went into it expecting for total nonsense on the level of Transformers 2 and instead got a funny, well-acted, well-written action I'm shocked at how the bandwagon effect is pushing reviewers to tear into smashingly good summer movie. I went into it expecting for total nonsense on the level of Transformers 2 and instead got a funny, well-acted, well-written action flick with smashingly great special effects. A Must See Guilty Pleasure.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
8
AdrianT.Aug 22, 2009
Hey come on, it wasn't that BAD of a movie. How can Dragonball Evolution BEAT THIS? I mean yeah, half the movie was constructed in CGI and Channing Tatum ain't no Denzel, but still definitely worth my money. Remember it's Hey come on, it wasn't that BAD of a movie. How can Dragonball Evolution BEAT THIS? I mean yeah, half the movie was constructed in CGI and Channing Tatum ain't no Denzel, but still definitely worth my money. Remember it's roots people:- a line of military-themed articulated "action figures"? To take that and then having Sommers turn it into what it is now? Seriously, deserves better ratings. Thumbs-up… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
8
ShawnPAug 24, 2009
I liked it a lot. The fight scenes were cool and the speed chase was wicked. There were to many flash backs though.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
1
AlexMAug 7, 2009
The characters are dumb as the plot as the use of technology, sometimes all is hi-tech and sometimes is only machine guns or swords super tech suits but can't stop a girl in an elevator?
0 of 0 users found this helpful
0
LukeLAug 7, 2009
This movie was like trying to fit your head in a tub of popcorn. Seems like it should be fun but it's just an awkward mess.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
2
JamesCAug 7, 2009
I went in with low expectations and still felt disappointed. The script was terrible, the acting was poor, the action was average, the CGI was sub-par. Every moment felt contrived and predictable, yet somehow constantly inconsistent with the I went in with low expectations and still felt disappointed. The script was terrible, the acting was poor, the action was average, the CGI was sub-par. Every moment felt contrived and predictable, yet somehow constantly inconsistent with the rest of the movie. A third of the audience in our theater began to boo once the credits started rolling.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
7
NathanLAug 7, 2009
This is not a great movie and it is barely a good movie but bottom line it is fun. The actors don't do much. They don't have to. The special effects are mediocre at times but, it is a non-stop action movie that is so light on the This is not a great movie and it is barely a good movie but bottom line it is fun. The actors don't do much. They don't have to. The special effects are mediocre at times but, it is a non-stop action movie that is so light on the plot that there wasn't much in the way of holes for me to be upset about. Honestly, it's what I expected and the Paris chase seen was pretty cool.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
1
PhilipPAug 7, 2009
Unless you're 9 years old or mildly retarded, avoid this movie at all costs! Besides being an atrocious piece of movie making, I felt like I was sitting through a two-hour commercial introducing Hasbro's new line of toys.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
6
JonathanHAug 7, 2009
I went into this movie expecting to hate it, and I was very surprised. While the first twenty minutes feel lame (e.g. ninjas, hot women fighting in leather, and seemingly cheesey flashbacks), once it is all explained it makes sense and I went into this movie expecting to hate it, and I was very surprised. While the first twenty minutes feel lame (e.g. ninjas, hot women fighting in leather, and seemingly cheesey flashbacks), once it is all explained it makes sense and becomes surprising deep (considering it's based off of an action figure toy line). Basically, this is not the smartest movie, but it is better than many of its competitors (*cough* Transformers *cough*). I give it a 6 for making something that should be lame into something pretty decent.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
9
JohnSAug 7, 2009
Not bad for a popcorn, action movie. All this bad press..come on folks, this is GI Joe not Macbeth! People take themselves way too seriously now.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
10
EdgarV.Aug 7, 2009
This is way better than Transformers 2, T2 was so bad first it was long and then very boring this movie no , this movie is the best in based on action toys.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
6
ElijahGAug 7, 2009
This movie was okay overall. It was strongest in the first hour and then gets much more boring as it reaches its end. The action was good for the most part but felt stale at times. The story was okay but dragged on at some points. The main This movie was okay overall. It was strongest in the first hour and then gets much more boring as it reaches its end. The action was good for the most part but felt stale at times. The story was okay but dragged on at some points. The main villain was very cliche and boring though. Also there are some terrible one-liners and some of the actors are poor. Overall however it was a entertaining movie.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
5
AlCAug 7, 2009
2 hr action packed movie. Lines were kinda corny. Humor wasn't that funny at all. Could've been better.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
6
PeterOAug 7, 2009
The plot is really dull, and the characters are underdeveloped. If all the characters had died at the end I would have cared less. The directors gave very little attempt to develop the plot, with about 95% of the movie being pure action. As The plot is really dull, and the characters are underdeveloped. If all the characters had died at the end I would have cared less. The directors gave very little attempt to develop the plot, with about 95% of the movie being pure action. As well, I really didn… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
0
SeanMAug 8, 2009
Knowing not to go to G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is half the battle, the other half is being sure to bring razors and hard liquor with you if you do see it.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
4
JeremyMAug 8, 2009
A horrible script, awful acting (I'm looking at you Channing Tatum) and goofy fx (some of the worst I've seen in years) make this movie laughable - and not in a good, fun way. With so much mythology to work with, I find it absurd A horrible script, awful acting (I'm looking at you Channing Tatum) and goofy fx (some of the worst I've seen in years) make this movie laughable - and not in a good, fun way. With so much mythology to work with, I find it absurd that this movie's script and character work were so dumb and generic. It should also be noted that this IS another case of the writer's changing a mythology that fans know and love. The real travesty here is Tatum's 'work' as Duke. Tatum is one of the worst actors alive today. His facial expression never changes. His voice/inflection never changes. He just does not emote...anything. Even in a movie where the protagonist is a team of individuals, the lack of ONE solid hero to root for is death. In fact, I was actually cheering for Duke to get killed. I should add that Sienna Miller and Christopher Eccleston shine in a movie full of lifeless performances. I would have liked to have seen more of Arnold Vosloo as well, although the real diamond in this rough was a surprise cameo by Brendan Fraser that was way too short. I kept hoping for Fraser to return in the big 'finale', even if only to give Tatum a swirly and stuff him in a locker.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
1
JonWAug 8, 2009
Bad. Bad as in boring, horrible acting, ridiculous and thoughtless story, and bad effects. Basically, a bad kids movie that's kinda sorta not really much of a GI Joe story. Don't pay for this movie, punish the studio for making it.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
0
MatthewCAug 8, 2009
First - The film was a good - bad, movie. That is not enough to warrant this effort a 1 instead of a 0 however. People who thought a positive of this film was that it did not take itself seriously, fair enough. You like this kind of First - The film was a good - bad, movie. That is not enough to warrant this effort a 1 instead of a 0 however. People who thought a positive of this film was that it did not take itself seriously, fair enough. You like this kind of entertainment, cinema is purely entertainment - perspective. That's totally 100% fair. This being a subjective review (all reviews are), I would like to present my particular perspective on this. I think people taking a film seriously, has a lot to do with the film being good. The film does not have to be serious, dark, gloomy. You can have all your car explosions and people flying over rooftops. But I think, depth of screenwriting, is paramount to the film's core quality, And using that quality judging system. The film's merits, simply, do not exist. Even on a small level. The film, is horrible. The plot is poorly designed, the characters are horribly written. The special effects are horrid, the camerawork is of a example-of-how-not-to-make-a-film kind of bad. I don't give thing's 0's. Most things resonate in some way or another. I know going to a film can be considered - sometimes - as the same thing as going on an expensive rollercoaster. But unlike a rollercoaster, the entire cinema is not moving around on a big track. Replace that moving track and sensation of speed with good writing, not a sensation of speed on a large screen. Which this film, fails at anyway. Not as bad as an ube boll film. But terrible non-the-less. This ZERO scoring film, is still far better than transformers 2. So on a fractional level, I would award this 0.09 and transformers, 0.00.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
2
RSAug 8, 2009
This movie was packed with almost every cliche in the book (30 by my count). They ruined classic character designs, was ridiculously predictable with a really weak plot which didn't make sense half of the time, and the action sequences This movie was packed with almost every cliche in the book (30 by my count). They ruined classic character designs, was ridiculously predictable with a really weak plot which didn't make sense half of the time, and the action sequences were over the top, the only thing done well was the use of technology. This movie sucked horribly.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
7
M.SpriteAug 8, 2009
This was Exactly what you would want this kind of movie to be -- FUN. It's not going to win any Oscars, but who cares. It was a great way to spend the afternoon.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
10
JohnYAug 8, 2009
Good, fast paced, escapist, summer action/adventurer. Don't know what these naysayers were expecting, but this is a fun, exciting movie... well worth it. The arrogance of some of the pros/serious critics is unbelievable!
0 of 0 users found this helpful
4
ChrisDAug 8, 2009
The action and the women are the only good parts of the movie that the viewer will see. The acting and story line is cheesy, predictable, and overall very poorly acted. The actor that plays Duke, seems like he should have been played by John The action and the women are the only good parts of the movie that the viewer will see. The acting and story line is cheesy, predictable, and overall very poorly acted. The actor that plays Duke, seems like he should have been played by John Cena. At least then it could have drawn more people with star power.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
5
JoeSAug 9, 2009
I'd have given this movie a 6, but it loses a point for being the prequel to the movie we really want to see. Still, it's fun and loud and noisy and pretty much everything you'd expect from a hokey action movie about a toy I'd have given this movie a 6, but it loses a point for being the prequel to the movie we really want to see. Still, it's fun and loud and noisy and pretty much everything you'd expect from a hokey action movie about a toy line. At least it was better than Transformers.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
8
jasonbAug 9, 2009
Liked it. The woman were hot. The Snakeeyes vs. Storm Shadow rivalry was compelling. The techno firestorm of special effects were awesome. Cool.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
3
ChadSAug 9, 2009
A filmmaker in 1955 could shoot a white hot light accompanied by some minatory sound effect exuding from a lead box, and still leave his audience mesmerized. That, of course, was Robert Aldrich's "Kiss Me Deadly", and the source of that A filmmaker in 1955 could shoot a white hot light accompanied by some minatory sound effect exuding from a lead box, and still leave his audience mesmerized. That, of course, was Robert Aldrich's "Kiss Me Deadly", and the source of that mysterious luminescence was nuclear, probably plutonium. Against Mike Hammer's protestations, the dame wanted that box. The contents of the millitary case in "G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra" is no mystery; it's four nuclear warheads, and Ana(Sienna Miller) covets that case. She's willing to kill her ex-fiance(played by Channing Tatum) for it. Now married to a wealthy nuclear physicist, my internal film reference alarm went off when Ana kisses her husband deadly(some colleague stabs him from behind) while in a cinch; a post-liminiary result that followed his activation of the bomb. Although there's nothing remotely noirish about this special effects-laden film, Ana's transformation into a bad girl after she changes her hair color is very femme-fatale like. A filmmaker in 1955 could wow an audience by blowing up a house, and suggest, not explicate, the end of the world. Thanks to the advent of CGI, however, subtlety died, and man, does it die hard during the sequence in France, when the Eiffel Tower dissolves away after being exposed to nuclear green matter(nanotechnology). It's the perfect metaphor for how computers eat artistry. In "Kiss Me Deadly", the dame opens the box, some say, Pandora's box. For film, Pandora's box was opened in James Cameron's "The Abyss". Count how many cars flip over during the car chase in Paris.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
9
ArmandMOct 12, 2009
Fantastic Film even that the story is a little not too much concern but action and graphics are superb.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
8
NathanKAug 11, 2009
It wasn't as bad as everyone says it is. I have never seen a G. I. Joe episode, but no matter, the movie was entertaining and the characters, especially the villains, were quite memorable.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
0
TylerCAug 11, 2009
Yet another movie to satisfy ten and below year-olds with a basic plot and a bunch of obvious, fake, computer animation.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
10
KellyJAug 11, 2009
I loved the movie the same way a mother loves her special needs son. I grew up on GI Joe and while there were plenty of eye roller moments, I freaking LOVED seeing my favorite cartoon come to life. I enjoyed turning off my adult senses of I loved the movie the same way a mother loves her special needs son. I grew up on GI Joe and while there were plenty of eye roller moments, I freaking LOVED seeing my favorite cartoon come to life. I enjoyed turning off my adult senses of taste and now I finally understand why some people liked Transformers 2.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
10
SamuelSAug 12, 2009
Best action movie EVER!!! It was so detailed. Plot was easy to follow and well written. Acting phenomenal. Awesome movie.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
0
bpAug 12, 2009
As a huge fan of the toys and a lover of bad movies, this is by far the worst movie I've ever seen. It's a sad day when Marlon Wayans is the best part of a movie (that's not a compliment Marlon). Start to finish this film (if As a huge fan of the toys and a lover of bad movies, this is by far the worst movie I've ever seen. It's a sad day when Marlon Wayans is the best part of a movie (that's not a compliment Marlon). Start to finish this film (if you can call it that) lacks on every level save for lighting. Kudos to the DP and Gaffer. As for Stephen Sommers, I wouldn't trust that guy with cleaning my bathroom, let alone a 175 million dollar movie. If I could give this a lower score I would.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
0
AndrewPAug 12, 2009
The only redeeming moment of this movie is when it ended. I have nothing to say that is the least bit favorable. Under no circumstances should you see this movie or even download form the internet for free.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
0
AlucardAug 12, 2009
Worst movie I have ever seen and I saw Transformers 2.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
0
benjaminbAug 12, 2009
This is one of the worst movies ever made. I want my 9 dollars back, and I will stop at nothing to get it. Anyone who disagrees with me knows nothing about movies.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
8
BrettSAug 13, 2009
A great action movie. Better than Transformers 2.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
2
KyleBAug 14, 2009
This movie was a badly directed acted and visually poorly done. the acting was mediocre and the visual effects were badly done. the slow motion action scenes were just badly done and i give it a thumbs down.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
0
ShawnSAug 14, 2009
The most god-awful movie of the decade.... by far. Horrible actors. Horrible plot. Horrible movie.
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5
DarrenHAug 15, 2009
Too much much action and futuristic crap what is it with movies these days? Die Hard 4? Transformers 2? Too much computer technology shown in the film too much cgi Sienna Miller as the baroness is HOT!
0 of 0 users found this helpful
9
WalterAug 15, 2009
A very fun movie experience. All you people who gave this movie a 2 or lower because you're apparently too smart need to embrace your damn childhood a little bit. I had fun, and was entertained. Last I checked, that's what a movie A very fun movie experience. All you people who gave this movie a 2 or lower because you're apparently too smart need to embrace your damn childhood a little bit. I had fun, and was entertained. Last I checked, that's what a movie should accomplish.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
10
RobinVAug 18, 2009
Go see this movie! Fantastic summer rollercoaster ride with non-stop action and no long introductions of characters. It really reminded me of Star Trek which was an unexpected surprise as well. If you love action, sfx, ninjas, big battles Go see this movie! Fantastic summer rollercoaster ride with non-stop action and no long introductions of characters. It really reminded me of Star Trek which was an unexpected surprise as well. If you love action, sfx, ninjas, big battles like the star wars movies, the mummy movies also directed by stephen sommers for example you will adore this movie also because it is pretty faithfull, it catches the spirit completely, to the 80's cartoons unlike transformers 1 and 2. Yooo Joe!… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
7
ColinCAug 18, 2009
Good cheesy fun. Some of the jokes even made me smile. Good action scenes too. Sure, a few little moments pushed the cheese over the top, but still, a good summer popcorn flick to see on a big screen. If you liked the original Mummy, Good cheesy fun. Some of the jokes even made me smile. Good action scenes too. Sure, a few little moments pushed the cheese over the top, but still, a good summer popcorn flick to see on a big screen. If you liked the original Mummy, you'll probably like this.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
8
DannyN.Aug 22, 2009
Very fun Movie. I came with a lot of expectations and it didn't fail me. As a longtime GI JOE fan (from the animated series and the comics books) I expected something and the movie delivered. Fun to watch, simple to understand, funny, Very fun Movie. I came with a lot of expectations and it didn't fail me. As a longtime GI JOE fan (from the animated series and the comics books) I expected something and the movie delivered. Fun to watch, simple to understand, funny, and great special effects… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
8
CarolC.Aug 23, 2009
Is it futuristic? Yes. Is it special effects laden? Yes. Is the dialogue award winning? No. Is it entertaining enough for me to justify taking my family to see and spending our hard earned money (especially in this economy)? YES! We loved Is it futuristic? Yes. Is it special effects laden? Yes. Is the dialogue award winning? No. Is it entertaining enough for me to justify taking my family to see and spending our hard earned money (especially in this economy)? YES! We loved it. It might have been a touch long, but we go to the movies to be entertained and we were. If I want to use my brain, I pick up a book. I read over a hundred books a year, so this movie was a great way to spend 128 minutes with my husband and kids.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
7
JeremyB.Aug 23, 2009
I didn't see any reviews before watching, it was somewhat disappointing, since my nothing could compare with my childhood imagination, but I liked it. Military tactics were thrown out the window, things were done, that people in the I didn't see any reviews before watching, it was somewhat disappointing, since my nothing could compare with my childhood imagination, but I liked it. Military tactics were thrown out the window, things were done, that people in the military just wouldn't have done, to make things happen plotwise. But rating this as low as some reviewers did, makes me wonder what own their personal insecurities are. There was one 'actress' who was a supermodel, and shouldn't have had speaking roles, that was obvious, but otherwise most of the acting was decent. I saw it before noon for 6 bucks, it was worth it.… Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful
10
robj.Aug 25, 2009
This movie was good for all family. About the same as Transformers 2.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
7
BlakeSep 27, 2009
Great popcorn movie. Back stories of some of the main characters gave it a little more depth, and it was way better than transformers.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
0
FamousdogNov 28, 2011
What on earth are any of the characters' motivations in this "film"? Cobra Commander goes from being a fresh-faced nice guy to evil meglomaniac genius in the space of a few seconds with no explanation at all. This film is just an excuse toWhat on earth are any of the characters' motivations in this "film"? Cobra Commander goes from being a fresh-faced nice guy to evil meglomaniac genius in the space of a few seconds with no explanation at all. This film is just an excuse to blow stuff up - at which it succeeds. Brenan Fraser is cruelly under-used. Can't believe they stomped on my nostalgia...… Expand
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7
gm101Mar 21, 2011
Decent adaptation of G.I. Joe, but could've been better. Special effects needed much work. Thankfully, Snake-Eyes was so awesome that I was actually interested in the movie.
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3
MACThreeNov 6, 2013
From beginnign to end I was thoroughly underwhelmed by this movie. There were glaring errors in its represneation of our armed forces (I understand that this is a work of fiction, but Channing Tatum starts the movie not as a Joe but as aFrom beginnign to end I was thoroughly underwhelmed by this movie. There were glaring errors in its represneation of our armed forces (I understand that this is a work of fiction, but Channing Tatum starts the movie not as a Joe but as a legitimate member of the US armed forces--he shouldn't have a goatee).

The movie takes some serious liberties with the G.I. Joe franchise, and it isn't always for the best. The action sequences were over-the-top, even for the source material.

Aside from a few good lines this movie was painful for me to watch. I kept looking at the clock and wondering when it would end.… Expand
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1
PeachCobblerDec 17, 2012
I... I just don't know what to say. It's been three years and I'm still left speechless.
This movie is completely juvenile and stupid. And that's pretty much all there is to it.
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1
JW1LLFeb 7, 2011
I grew up watching the GI JOE cartoons and to me this movie does an injustice to it. First, Ripcord isn't an African American and Scarlett's eye was ALWAYS on Duke. Second, the Baroness had no back history with Duke and she was always aboutI grew up watching the GI JOE cartoons and to me this movie does an injustice to it. First, Ripcord isn't an African American and Scarlett's eye was ALWAYS on Duke. Second, the Baroness had no back history with Duke and she was always about Destro. I'm not trying to get hung up on the love interests here but, the movie made it that way and it was nowhere near accurate. Why deviate from the original backgrounds? The Baroness was cold, calculating and so evil she was always trying to kill Cobra Commander. She was never a good person. Now to the movie. The acting was so bad I felt embarrassed for them all. Just once you had to think they had to be talking while the cameras were off saying "man this script blows, but I need this paycheck". Channing Tatum showed no emotion as Duke whatsoever. Duke in the cartoons became the leader of the JOES and his words compelled his troops to fight and to win. Channing Tatum's acting in this movie only compelled me to write a bad review of it. The CGI was also poor. It's like the technology they used was from 2002. Everything CGI was extremely noticeable. I can deal with CGI and if it's done well I'm more than fine with it but when it's cartoonish and done sloppily that's where I draw my line. Overall, the movie was just plain bad and the acting was second rate except for Ray Park(Snake Eyes) and he's the exception because he didn't say anything.

Thanks Stephen Sommers, you've ruined GI JOE.… Expand
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2
SlyDragonsApr 23, 2011
This movie made me hate every character (with the possible exception of Zartan). Good God, this was horrible. I can't really think of anything this movie did right, but they obviously spent a lot of money on bad CGI it, so I won't give it a zero.
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3
islandDec 9, 2011
An average science-fiction with a very, very poor script. I just don't understand why they are making this amount of action films. They are focusing on quantity instead of quality.
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3
LevelsAndGearDec 27, 2011
G.I. Joe - Review! (1.5 stars - no spoilers!)

I knew it was going to be bad. I didn't know it was going to be as laughably bad as it was. Growing up in the 80's, I have a soft spot for G.I. Joe. It was light and silly, no one ever died, andG.I. Joe - Review! (1.5 stars - no spoilers!)

I knew it was going to be bad. I didn't know it was going to be as laughably bad as it was. Growing up in the 80's, I have a soft spot for G.I. Joe. It was light and silly, no one ever died, and everyone always parachuted out of their exploding vehicles. This movie seems to try to combine serious military action (heads exploding) with lighthearted action (goofy one-liner after just killing 12 people) - the result is as you'd expect, a bit weird. The make-up, cleavage, and one-liners are all impeccable. The action is fast paced. The acting is godawful and dialogue is pathetic. 12 flashbacks were a bit too many. The foreshadowing was painfully obvious. The technology was fantastic and apparently used by soldiers who "didn't know there was a manual". There was even a Joe Training Montage. And I won't even get started on the really stupid love "plots".

The baroness was hot, and they made sure to show off her assets most of the time, and it was pretty much the lone bright spot. The occasional nod to the series was fairly enjoyable as well. My friend commented that the money used to make the film could have been used to feed the hungry and on medical research. When viewed in that light, it makes the movie seem even worse.

On a side note, if anyone understands the Duke bubble Gum reference, please let me know. The closest I could come up with is the Duke Nuke'em Reference (which is actually a ripped off They Live reference) Anyway, I can't suggest this movie to anyone, though I am sure fans of the series are going to see it regardless. Have your hopes down. 1.5 stars. Mostly for the Baroness. http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/gi_joe/… Expand
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7
jordiMar 30, 2013
Muy entretenida. Perfectos efectos especiales. Te hace revivir aquéllos tiempos de Marvel o Hasbro. Un Duke guapísimo como Channing Tatum. Una Scarlett (Rachel Nichols) con un físico y atuendo que nos recuerda a la Viuda Negra. EstupendasMuy entretenida. Perfectos efectos especiales. Te hace revivir aquéllos tiempos de Marvel o Hasbro. Un Duke guapísimo como Channing Tatum. Una Scarlett (Rachel Nichols) con un físico y atuendo que nos recuerda a la Viuda Negra. Estupendas localizaciones. Por fin una aventura que no sucede en New York, estando muy bien escogido París.… Expand
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4
SeriosityMar 28, 2013
It's a bad movie with one fun, over-the-top chase sequence in Paris. The rest of the movie is overly familiar and, because of that, instantly forgettable.
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5
dante_finnDec 18, 2012
Ultimate action thril ride
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2
TheWalrus2000Mar 29, 2013
G.I. Joe:Rise of Cobra lacks the vision of a fun action-packed Hasbro adaptation. It provides sloppy scenes and visuals, and has no fun to its tone. Its messy direction provided terrible performances and annoying cast. Rise of Cobra fails onG.I. Joe:Rise of Cobra lacks the vision of a fun action-packed Hasbro adaptation. It provides sloppy scenes and visuals, and has no fun to its tone. Its messy direction provided terrible performances and annoying cast. Rise of Cobra fails on all levels.… Expand
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5
WiesyApr 5, 2013
G.I Joe is a not so good action movie. So unrealistic movie and the special FX are not good. The actors are better then the plot, I like Channing Tatum a lot and Snake Eyes is such a nice character.
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5
pabloaimarFeb 19, 2013
The acting was like power rangers.
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1
forestvilleFeb 3, 2013
Bad movie, really really bad, its all i can say, I think it goes without saying why.
is so boring, stupid and immature. How could pay a large company like Paramount Pictures, 175 million, into something so ugly? Besides, how could actBad movie, really really bad, its all i can say, I think it goes without saying why.
is so boring, stupid and immature. How could pay a large company like Paramount Pictures, 175 million, into something so ugly? Besides, how could act Joseph Gordon-Levitt in a movie so horrible?
than disappointing, really disappointing.
and still get to do a sequel, that damn curse. respect for that if you like but that's my opinion, is a really bad movie.… Expand
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6
mds03Mar 3, 2013
Some of these reviews are a little too harsh. I'm not saying it was'nt corny or a little too unbelievable. But it was very entertaining and the If-le Tower scene was my favorite part. Overall, it was pretty good.
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1
BrianMcCriticJul 6, 2013
I admit that I wasn't big into G.I. Joe as a kid, but with that said from my memories of the cartoon and the fact that just as a stand alone movie this film is awful.
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9
still_gunsApr 17, 2013
I don't see how anyone could call this movie worse than Retaliation. This one is just better in every single way. Sure there are some mistakes, but I can live with them. One of the best movies I have ever seen, shame they made such a mess ofI don't see how anyone could call this movie worse than Retaliation. This one is just better in every single way. Sure there are some mistakes, but I can live with them. One of the best movies I have ever seen, shame they made such a mess of Retaliation.… Expand
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2
savagejoe444May 28, 2013
This is the worst movie Iv'e ever seen in years! G.I. Joe is a classic and this film just takes a huge dump on it like its better than it! DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE!
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2
ypomoniJul 5, 2013
Oh yeah, it's cheesy, but at least it knows it. In fact, this film makes no apologies for it! The basic plot is simple (of course) Good guys vs the evil mega-tycoon with his evil scientist side-kick, brainwashing, throw in some currentOh yeah, it's cheesy, but at least it knows it. In fact, this film makes no apologies for it! The basic plot is simple (of course) Good guys vs the evil mega-tycoon with his evil scientist side-kick, brainwashing, throw in some current technological buzzwords (nanomites!) and blow everything up. The acting is appalling, almost as if the actors were told not to try too hard.
Having said all of this, it is a pop-corn action film. I guess that if you are looking for big special effects, a whole lot of running around, impossible stunts and basically not having to think for 2 hrs, then this film is for you.… Expand
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8
TheApplegnomeFeb 8, 2014
A great movie with a high amount of action. G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra got an awesome beginning, and the movie overall also contains much energy, and I really enjoyed it! The movie is well made, and the actors are okay, but not super great,A great movie with a high amount of action. G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra got an awesome beginning, and the movie overall also contains much energy, and I really enjoyed it! The movie is well made, and the actors are okay, but not super great, and the guy that played Dukes was just horrible, he was just so irritating and bad at everything. The story is a little weired at some places, but the music thought, is awesome. This movie is also very cool, and it contains many unique and awesome things that I never have seen before.
The bad thing about this movie is that it's a little silly and lengthy at some places, and it might have been to much action in this movie, and I can't believe I just said that! The special effects are great and G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra is an awesome, exiting, stunning and a great action movie, that got a high amount if action at a high tempo, and I really recommend it for all the action-lovers out there, even though the actors aren't that great and that the story is a little weird.

G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra get's a 8/10… Expand
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5
FreedomFightersNov 21, 2016
June 2009 graced us with "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen," which took such a beating from critics and fans that "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" kind of breathed a sigh of relief that "Transformers" took away most of the Razzies that thisJune 2009 graced us with "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen," which took such a beating from critics and fans that "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" kind of breathed a sigh of relief that "Transformers" took away most of the Razzies that this film might have otherwise received. In any case, "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" is pretty much everything you expect it to be: big, dumb, action-packed fun with not much else to it: there's not much in the way of substance and the performances are nothing special, but if you like films that are silly, cartoony, action-packed and nothing else, "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" might be your film. If not, you'd be wise to explore other options.… Expand
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1
joao1198pedroNov 20, 2013
this is a terrible movie,the only thing that i didn't but 0 on this film was because it had some regular scenes of fight,but that's all the rest of the movie is a crap.
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2
RayzorMooseNov 16, 2013
Rise of the Cobra slithers into sheer idiocy.
The plot is so slothfully slow, and remarkably poor I honestly don't know how it was approved by the studio. The acting is terrible and the special effects aren't impressive. A long awful action "movie".
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8
lukechristianscJul 22, 2015
Paramount's film adaptation of the GI Joe animated show "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" isn't a smart science fiction film, the plot we can understand but the film has zero explanation of telling it to the viewers. Two soldiers stationed inParamount's film adaptation of the GI Joe animated show "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" isn't a smart science fiction film, the plot we can understand but the film has zero explanation of telling it to the viewers. Two soldiers stationed in Kazahkstan, Captain Duke Hauser (Channing Tatum) and his partner Ripcord (Marlon Wayans) are ordered to transport a special weapon called warheads created by a high-tech company called MARS, an arms' manufacturer controlled by James McCullen (Christopher Eccleston). When they are attacked by thieves, led by Anastasia DeCobray (Sienna Miller) who has a history with Duke, Duke and Ripcord are saved by a top secret international unit called "G.I Joe." The leader of the unit General Hawk (Dennis Quaid) is on the trail of the thieves: an organization called "Cobra." While Duke and Ripcord are train to join the Joes, McCullen is secretly working for the Cobra and plotting to recapture his metal eating "Nanomite" warheads. Duke and Ripcord team up with Heavy Duty, Snake eyes and the rest of the Joes must prove that they are the Real American Heroes - - by stopping the launch of these warheads before Cobra uses them to destroy the world. What fans are going to get in this film are the characters that die hard fans of Joe are going to get so that gives the writers points also gives the characters backstories that understand their past and figure out what that has to do with the film. However, the film has problems with the plot and the plot is making a huge plot whole and while the film focuses more on the characters it should also care for the character development. Sienna Miller's performance was kick ass, it would be more exciting if she was the villain and not when turned good (we all saw it coming!) obviously she would fall in love with Duke. Sommer's does a pretty good directing the mindless action sequences, he captures a piece of fun and making it feel like a B-movie. This movie is dumb, but if you want a dumb stupid mindless cinematic carnival ride than this is your film. Grade B+… Expand
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7
juliankennedy23Aug 6, 2014
G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra: 7 out of 10: I think I may have liked this movie less had I not recently sat through the two and a half hour opus that is Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. GI Joe is like Transformers with a coherent plotG.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra: 7 out of 10: I think I may have liked this movie less had I not recently sat through the two and a half hour opus that is Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. GI Joe is like Transformers with a coherent plot and a half an hour of stupid removed. (Notice I said half an hour not all.) First, let us get the ugly out of the way. GI Joe is no longer “A Real American Hero” instead it is a group of foreigners led by Dennis Quaid and answerable to well nobody as far as I can tell. While I understand the change from a cowardly international marketing point of view, it really is a sad state of affairs. However, since all the real heroes turn out to be Americans after all and the bad guys are mostly foreigners from despot countries like Scotland and Japan, it is less jarring of a change than one would suppose.

If you can get past the fact the GI Joe Corps is a secret international army (no doubt enforcing the upcoming one world order), has weapons more advanced than the US troops and yet is still inexplicably called GI JOE. (I had assumed at some point Dennis Quaid would declare it is a lame acronym such as Global Initiative something something Expedition alas to his credit he does not.) You still have to deal with some of the casting choices.

While I am not overly familiar with the GI Joe mythos, I did see a major flaw on the Joe side. Channing Tatum simply does not look or act like Duke. Now Duke is the main character and everyman of the Joes. If you are familiar with the Duke Nukem video game, think that guy with less one-liners and **** bar visits. Channing simply does not have the charisma or presence to pull of the character and the script does not give him much help.

The other character the script torpedoes is The Baroness. She is the bad girl of the GI Joe universe and is played brilliantly by Sienna Miller (It really helps to hire great actors for these roles sometimes). The storyline unfortunately softens the Baroness to the point that by the end Duke is carrying her out of the exploding bad guys headquarters in his arms. (The bad guys lose. I hope that is not a spoiler in a movie called G.I. Joe) The other main characters are well represented. Marlon Wayans plays the black comic relief in the form of Ripcord (Dukes buddy). Normally I am aghast at the ethnic comic relief but Wayans pulls it off with aplomb. Rachel Nichols might seem a strange choice to play a smart woman, but she certainly looks the part and the whole Scarlett is an intellectual meme has clearly been toned down. She and Wayans have a romance that while safe for the kids may make adults in the audience dislocate their ciliary muscle.

Rounding out the cast is a bunch of foreigners, Dennis Quaid, Jonathan Pryce as the President and an uncredited Brendan Fraser.

The movie has a video game feel and I mean that in the most complementary way. The weapons are out of a Sci-fi shooter. The Joes wear suits cribbed directly from the video game Crackdown (Complete with the same powers); the very well shot action sequence in Paris will be quite familiar to any old school players of Twisted Metal 2.

The finale is right out of any Roger Moore James Bond film. This is old school fun action, well shot, with a plot a seven year old could follow. There is some back-story and attempts at depth, but needless to say it is perfectly safe to turn your brain off for a few hours and enjoy the show.

The plot is as follows. Bad guys steal evil weapon (Nanobite missiles). Good Guys get weapons back. Bad guys invade good guys headquarters killing cute blond and stealing missiles, Bad guys use missiles on unimportant foreign city (Paris) to show they mean business. Good Guys have their badges take away and are ordered to report to base. Good guys go to bad guys base instead. Good guys destroy bad guys underwater Arctic base by blowing up the icecap causing the underwater base to be crushed by the falling ice... hold on... falling ice???? Yes, apparently in the GI Joe universe the concept that ice floats is just another unproven liberal egghead theory like evolution or the female orgasm. I guess that is what happens when you have a redheaded bimbo play your science officer. (Moreover, do not get me started on the chasing ballistic missiles with an airplane part.) The stupid is strong in this one... but so is the fun.… Expand
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4
EpicLadySpongeFeb 3, 2016
In order to save plenty of money for the next Transformers installment, Paramount Pictures and Hasbro comes up with pretty much the most thinkable genius idea to make a G.I Joe movie.
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4
johnslegersJan 3, 2016
As I just finished watching "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra", I seriously wonder what kind of abomination the Hollywood film industry has become when its major blockbusters are reduced to two hour long toy commercials filled with fancy CGI butAs I just finished watching "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra", I seriously wonder what kind of abomination the Hollywood film industry has become when its major blockbusters are reduced to two hour long toy commercials filled with fancy CGI but lacking a coherent story whatsoever.

Any man born in the early eighties somewhere in Western society remembers GI Joe as one of the coolest toy franchises that (just like "Transformers") had its own cartoon series to make the toys notorious. And boy, notorious they were. Millions of young boys dreamed of having their own plastic Cobra army going against the brave plastic Joe's and of course (unlike the cartoon) defeating them every now and then. I don't remember much of the cartoon series, to be honest, but boy do I remember those fascinating Cobra outfits. Those were the days...

Now we're 20 years later and the toy companies have moved up. Instead of using cartoons to sell their toys, they're using movies. And boy, do they suck. "Transformers" was an empty shell of a film, "Transformers 2" managed to be even worse and then there was "GI Joe". All I can say is "WOW"... What a way to ruin our childhood memories.

"GI Joe" consists of little more than one action scene after the other. While this is not a bad thing per se (I actually liked "Crank" and even "Shoot 'em up" the first time I saw them), the audience of "GI Joe" witnesses its intelligence being consistently insulted by a story that lacks any character development whatsoever, that lacks a coherent plot, that defies physics on a continuous basis and that is so filled with CGI I sometimes felt I was watching an animation film. Suspension of disbelief is one thing, but going throughout this film and remotely taking it seriously is another. Is there any more blatant way to rip off an existing franchise and use film as a way to advertise a new line of toys? And you know what... The one thing that made "GI Joe" so fascinating as a kid was the cool "Cobra" outfits and they managed to ruin that as well. ####, even the toys look like ####!

Watch this film only if you want to get a glimpse of how ridiculously sub par Hollywood blockbusters have become and you feel like making fun of it. Even as a "turn off your brain and enjoy" kind of film, this film is just too moronic to watch in any other setting... unless you're as stupid as the lowest common denominators this film seems to be targeted for. In that case, I pity you.… Expand
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8
JP32Aug 25, 2019
In his own goofy way, [Sommers] is a craftsman. His movies pulse with fun. G.I. Joe is fun in its most basic form. Summer popcorn action injected directly into the veins.
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9
DominArsenOct 28, 2019
This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Saw in Luz Saint Sauveur and for me the movie that has the most action. It comes in the context where many played Crisis #Armure #CallOfDuty video games and the fact that we are talking about nanotechnology as the next revolution! Nice actors and a first role that integrates the noob that we were on console or PC. The video game makes us feel strong in the end a can like the actor

Vu à Luz Saint Sauveur et pour moi le film qui posséder le plus d'action. Elle s'incrive dans le contexte où beaucoup joué au jeux vidéo Crisis #Armure #CallOfDuty et du fait qu'on nous parler de la nanotechnologie comme la prochaine révolution! Des acteurs sympa et un premier role qui intégre les noob que l'on était sur console ou sur PC. Le jeux vidéo nous fait nous sentir fort à la fin un peux comme l'acteur… Expand
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4
JPKJun 13, 2019
Dumb (In A Bad Way)
G.I. Joe is meant to be dumb fun, But it shouldn’t be painfully dumb like this movie.
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6
CoreGamer1408Dec 14, 2018
Made for and designed for adults to take the kids to watch. Another disposable family orientated science fiction action movie. Looked high budget well produced with some nice flashy effects.
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10
BilalPervaiz58Oct 30, 2018
Tremendous Actions,
Vfx,Cast,Story, Stunts everything is Tremendous...
Best Regards
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4
jonslowJan 5, 2019
The action and the women are the only good parts of the movie that the viewer will see. The acting and story line is cheesy, predictable, and overall very poorly acted.
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10
asdfasdfadsfMar 11, 2020
I have never bust a fatter nut than I did when I watched this movie. Would definitely recommend.
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