For 854 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 40% higher than the average critic
  • 6% same as the average critic
  • 54% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Simon Abrams' Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 55
Highest review score: 100 Viet and Nam
Lowest review score: 0 Zookeeper
Score distribution:
854 movie reviews
    • tbd Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Oh, The Humanity Bureau! How could a low-budget science-fiction thriller starring Nicolas Cage go wrong? Let me count the ways.
    • 82 Metascore
    • 80 Simon Abrams
    The unexpectedly impressive nature documentary Pandas is so visually dynamic that even the most pedantic (think Neil deGrasse Tyson level) skeptics will probably not mind listening to narrator Kristen Bell — speaking for writer–co-director Drew Fellman — rattle off 43 minutes’ worth of cutesy panda trivia.
    • 80 Metascore
    • 80 Simon Abrams
    The film’s fast-slow-fast pacing not only gives psychological weight to Benson’s unabashedly pulpy scenario but also constantly keeps viewers on their toes.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 60 Simon Abrams
    Liang and Zhang’s young heroes would be far more universal if they were just credibly hormonal.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    There’s a chintzy silver lining tacked onto every potentially dark cloud in the cloying French World War II drama A Bag of Marbles, a pseudo-inspiring adaptation of Jewish World War II survivor Joseph Joffo’s partly fictionalized memoir.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    There doesn’t seem to be a romantic-comedy cliché missing from the bland French domestic Back to Burgundy, a wholly contrived post-adolescent coming-of-age yarn.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The just-shy-of-great teen comedy Dear Dictator is the rare high-concept coming-of-age story with enough warmth and smart-ass charm to (hopefully!) make it accessible for a fairly wide cross-section of moviegoers.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 0 Simon Abrams
    The Forgiven consequently only succeeds as an ugly, empty-headed provocation.
    • 80 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Claire's Camera is, like many of Hong's best comedies before it, amusing without necessarily being laugh-out-loud funny.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    The makers of the irresistible character-study doc Itzhak capture Itzhak Perlman’s characteristic warmth and bravado through short, anecdote-centric scenes that make the Israeli American violinist sound like a big-hearted raconteur who’s just dying to tell you everything about himself.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Geoghegan and Hendrix have the right instincts, which goes a long way, given that their vision is slightly limited by their budget. I didn't just fall for this type of film: I also admire its creators' knack for conveying what they like most about their characters through pulpy dialogue, impressive shot choices, and satisfyingly gory set pieces.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    The Lodgers needs to be better than a great mood in need of a decent story and stronger characters.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Thankfully, Cooke crams in so much persuasively appalling information — especially during a tangential aside on mentally ill patients’ high death rates — that it’s easy to forgive him for seemingly trying to push all viewers’ proverbial buttons at once.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Monster Hunt 2 is charming enough on a scene-to-scene basis that its success is worth noting.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    The atmospheric but threadbare male bonding horror flick The Ritual is so well-directed that you can't help but groan at its lightweight script's many little inadequacies.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It's an unsettling, and sometimes high-concept doodle, but it's awfully hard to resist a film that marries Atomic Age paranoia and optimism with Kurosawa's signature post-modern, atmosphere-intensive style.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    What Winchester lacks in originality its creators amply make up for in execution.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 80 Simon Abrams
    Legends of the Mountain’s narrative fuse may be long, but Hu knows exactly when to light it and when to snuff it out.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Padmaavat is a rare work of pop art that is both powerful and repugnant.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The exceptionally fun martial arts beat-em-up Kickboxer: Retaliation is a very dumb, and very satisfying throwback to a simpler time when American action films were as predictable as they were formulaic.
    • 77 Metascore
    • 100 Simon Abrams
    Writer/director Liu Jian has taken familiar stylistic elements, and made them feel fresh, and exciting. Have a Nice Day may be Jian's second feature after "Piercing I," but it feels like a major breakthrough.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    The maddeningly unfocused Israeli documentary West of the Jordan River doesn’t reveal anything insightful about Gaza settlers’ reasons for either supporting or rejecting a two-state solution.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    What Taylor and his game cast, led by Selma Blair and Nicolas Cage, do get right will leave you excited, and eager for more.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 80 Simon Abrams
    Veiel’s refreshingly open-ended approach invites you to find your own answers.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Writer/director Sam Hoffman's trite dramedy about personal redemption delivers mediocre performances.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Really, whatever you do, don't watch "The Last Key" without the emotional support of a buddy who can confirm that you're not just imagining this: these movies are still getting incrementally better.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Retrograde, bloated, and formulaic. It's also consistently sincere, energizing, and charming.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    This big, splashy blockbuster is perplexing because it's full of loosely-connected incidents that are rarely character-driven, or even narratively intelligible beyond a point.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    The filmmakers over-extend themselves to solicit empathy for their doomed protagonists. Youth is so unbearably nice that I eventually wished it were remade by misanthropes.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    A gonzo ten-minute standoff between Adrien Brody and a man-eating pitbull single-handedly justifies the existence of the otherwise uninspired heist thriller Bullet Head.

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