For 854 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 40% higher than the average critic
  • 6% same as the average critic
  • 54% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Simon Abrams' Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 55
Highest review score: 100 Viet and Nam
Lowest review score: 0 Zookeeper
Score distribution:
854 movie reviews
    • 58 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    The equally thrilling and exhausting Hong Kong martial arts fantasy Detective Dee: The Four Heavenly Kings boasts more inventive weapons, monsters, and plot twists than most Western audiences will know what to do with.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 20 Simon Abrams
    Unfortunately, Archambault’s churlishly over-the-top performance makes it impossible to take 14 Cameras seriously, no matter how you interpret Gerald’s actions.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    The biggest difference between the two films is that "Unfriended" is dynamic and cruel while Unfriended: Dark Web is unbelievably stupid and sadistic. Neither movie is especially smart or incisive about the Way We Live Now, but they don't really have to be.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Cassel’s Gauguin may ultimately be a lightweight cinematic descendant of the monstrous European pioneers that Klaus Kinski played in Aguirre, the Wrath of God and Fitzcarraldo, but he’s also both menacing and pitiable enough to make Gauguin: Voyage to Tahiti riveting on a moment-to-moment basis.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 60 Simon Abrams
    Unfortunately, the best and worst thing about director Dominique Rocher and his two co-writers’ scenario is its familiarity.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Bleeding Steel is also unfortunately just one film in a string of lackluster globe-trotting action films that struggle to confirm Chan's decades-old self-image as a pop cultural ambassador.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    Canadian filmmaker Denis Côté holds up a shallow mirror to the world of bodybuilding in the underwhelming experimental documentary A Skin So Soft.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Taken in its entirety, Ant-Man and the Wasp may not be the best anything, but, like its perpetually challenged hero, it is plenty good enough.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Van Damme and Lundgren have worked together five times now since 1992, when the two '80s icons traded blows and bullets in the first "Universal Soldier" film. Not much has changed in 26 years since Lundgren, playing a berserk cyborg antagonist, stole that earlier film, too.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Coogan and Rudd's generally charming performances both give weight to their otherwise wisp-thin characters, but their swishy mannerisms also speak to the superficial nature of Fleming's presentation of Erasmus and Paul.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    The grisly post-torture-porn horror flick Incident in a Ghostland serves as an effectively punishing critique of the relentless misogyny that has become a staple of every stupid Texas Chain Saw Massacre knockoff that pits sexually active women against emotionally disturbed serial killers.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 60 Simon Abrams
    Hover may sometimes be unbelievably generic, but Osterman, adapting Coleman’s clever scenario, nails a universal power dynamic.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    Pattinson and Wasikowska deserve better material than the Zellners’ head-scratchingly lazy jokes.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    Fairrie’s unfocused examination of anti-Semitism illuminates little.
    • 14 Metascore
    • 0 Simon Abrams
    The film's nature as a work of propaganda would be more deplorable—or at least eyeroll-inducing—if it weren't so poorly blocked, scripted, performed, and choreographed. There is no joy in Seagal-ville, dear rubber-neckers, because pretty much everybody here has struck out.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 60 Simon Abrams
    The messy but charming concert doc Straight Into a Storm works best if you treat unfocused on-camera interviews with the members of Rhode Island–based folk/grunge-rock group Deer Tick like an unintrospective but affectionate video memoir of the group’s rise to alt-rock prominence.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Believer works best as a series of perpetually escalating confrontations.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    An irresistibly gory science-fiction melodrama, is B-movie schlock done right.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    If only Baker and the gang had fleshed out horny hero Pikelet’s journey with the same earthy details that make Pikelet and Loonie’s friendship seem real enough to be worth mourning.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    A crashing disappointment, even if you haven't seen director Masaaki Yuasa's relatively inspired and completely unpredictable 2004 anti-coming-of-age fantasy "Mind Game."
    • 72 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    With the uninspired pity party comedy The Day After, self-lacerating Korean dramatist Sang-soo Hong continues a trend towards un-productive self-loathing that began last year with the half-empty "On the Beach At Night Alone" and continued with the half-full "Claire's Camera."
    • 49 Metascore
    • 20 Simon Abrams
    A tone-deaf celebration of Manhattan’s ritzy Carlyle Hotel.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    For those who have understandably not seen Takakura's original film due to international distribution issues: think "The Fugitive," only this time, Tommy Lee Jones' gruff cop is replaced by a more sympathetic hot-shot detective.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The spectacularly dumb, and weirdly entertaining bad-taste thriller Bad Samaritan is the kind of movie that many will assume can only be enjoyed ironically, or just with some sort of emotional detachment.
    • 81 Metascore
    • 90 Simon Abrams
    Unassumingly powerful details make The Guardians one of the year’s most affecting love stories.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    There's something off about Beyond the Clouds, a beautiful but obnoxious Indian-set drama.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    This bloated, unfocused follow-up—which was tellingly crowd-funded by fans and then released by Fox Searchlight—takes all of the charming goofiness of the first film, and runs it deep into the ground with gags that either over- or under-think these stock characters' original appeal.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Imagine a cross between "Annie" and "Jesus Christ Superstar," only with more speed metal. Now imagine a lot of long takes of sometimes merely adequate, sometimes sneakily brilliant performers doing simple dance steps or sing-talking reams of theatrical dialogue (adapted from Charles Peguy's religious mystery play).
    • 35 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    A genre movie that's at war with itself.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Like Vikander, you deserve better than Submergence.

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