Simon Abrams

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L.A. Weekly, RogerEbert.com, Slant Magazine, The A.V. Club, The Playlist, TheWrap, Village Voice
For 854 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 40% higher than the average critic
  • 6% same as the average critic
  • 54% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Simon Abrams' Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 55
Highest review score: 100 Viet and Nam
Lowest review score: 0 Zookeeper
Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 390 out of 854
  2. Mixed: 239 out of 854
  3. Negative: 225 out of 854
854 movie reviews
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    • 50 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Kung Fu Yoga
    Kung Fu Yoga doesn't feel like a young man's film. Normally that would be a cause for celebration, but in this case, Chan's latest doesn't just address, but rather shows his age.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    My Life Directed by Nicolas Winding Refn
    Corfixen celebrates her husband for being open in his work, but never shows us how his real-life concerns translate into commendable creative risk-taking.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Ride On
    Ride On isn’t a generic beat-em-up but a stingy elegy to a bygone era of filmmaking and an unbelievable melodrama about an older artist and his estranged daughter. A lot of emotional baggage is attached to Ride On, and very little of it gets unpacked.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Holidays
    Not bad enough to dissuade prospective viewers' from their curiosity. In fact, the whole feather-light affair is practically redeemed by a single entry: writer/director Anthony Scott Burns' superbly spooky Father's Day segment.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    My Animal
    Eventually, the lack of werewolf-related carnage is the least concerning thing about My Animal.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Skiptrace
    Skiptrace proves that nothing can stop Jackie Chan, not even poor judgment.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Nightwatch: Demons Are Forever
    An unconvincing sequel to the 1994 original that’s basically the Scandinavian answer to recent trauma-minded American horror legacy-quels like “Halloween Ends” and “Scream VI.”
    • 50 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    The Vault
    The Vault is not, in other words, just derivative—it’s also flabby and bland.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Pacifiction
    This isn’t a story, but an evocative collection of asked-and-answered prompts. You buy a ticket to Pacifiction and then you react, until the nudging stops.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 60 Simon Abrams
    The Night Eats the World
    Unfortunately, the best and worst thing about director Dominique Rocher and his two co-writers’ scenario is its familiarity.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Shelter
    Nothing in “Shelter” develops beyond the suggestion of an idea. A sleepy vehicle for action star Jason Statham, “Shelter” piles on cliches and expects viewers to supply enough goodwill to compensate for its shortcomings.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Trash
    Trash's creators never say anything thoughtful or useful about the extreme violence they liberally — and irresponsibly — use to characterize third-world adolescence.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    The Purge: Anarchy
    So weak on a basic storytelling level that it makes you want to nitpick everything about it, from characters' generically illogical decisions (ex: Why are you running towards mounted guns?) to its cheap-looking, jiggly hand-held cinematography.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Against the Ice
    Against the Ice delivers all the delirious period drama thrills and survival horror angst that you could want from a movie with that title.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Black Christmas
    So while not everything works in Black Christmas, the stuff that does is ultimately what matters most.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    The Blackout Experiments
    I've never participated in Blackout, but based on The Blackout Experiments, I can tell you that it's an intense, aggressively confrontational and deeply disturbing recreational experience.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 20 Simon Abrams
    Always at The Carlyle
    A tone-deaf celebration of Manhattan’s ritzy Carlyle Hotel.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Body
    Body feels downright old-fashioned: a thriller with tension that doesn't stem from gore, jump scares, or other cheap shock tactics, but rather a creeping dread that grows with each red herring, and slow-burn plot twist.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Beyond the Black Rainbow
    Something like a trippy grindhouse homage whose familiar images are refracted through a prism of blacklight posters, Jodorowsky films, and even Rob Zombie's grungy psychotropic sensibility.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Starry Eyes
    As gory as it is corrosively cynical, a supernatural mood piece that's equally influenced by the arthouse horror movies of David Lynch and Roman Polanski, and the grindhouse-ready Satanic Panic films of the '70s, like "To the Devil a Daughter," and "The Devil Rides out."
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