For 854 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 40% higher than the average critic
  • 6% same as the average critic
  • 54% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Simon Abrams' Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 55
Highest review score: 100 Viet and Nam
Lowest review score: 0 Zookeeper
Score distribution:
854 movie reviews
    • 58 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Unfortunately, The Deer King fatally (and repeatedly) stalls as its plot starts winding down and its creators lunge for a character-driven moral to a symbolically freighted parable.
    • 80 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    The Great Buddha+ is one of those movies that's much more rewarding to think about than it is to watch.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Finley deserves credit for adding extra wrinkles to Anderson’s story, but Landscape with Invisible Hand doesn’t cut deep enough to leave a mark.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    We meander from one story to the next until every idea, big and small, gets cast aside with childish zeal.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    It’s not badly made, just uninspired and played out. If you like B-movies made with a budget and are specifically looking for an undemanding time, “Abigail” might be for you. “Abigail” might also disappoint you, especially if you’re hoping for more than what’s advertised.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    You can fully enjoy Belladonna of Sadness if you either overlook or participate in the objectification of a gorgeous victim.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    With Nocebo, Finnegan and his collaborators have put their finger on something dark and disturbing. Too bad it’s never as upsetting as it is suggestive.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    There's something off about Beyond the Clouds, a beautiful but obnoxious Indian-set drama.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    It’s not hard to see the appeal of “The Roundup: Punishment” given the technical polish and formulaic conventions that keep this series chugging along. But Lee still deserves better dialogue—“I made someone a promise. To punish you.”—and better jokes, too.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Dog Eat Dog may be successfully alienating, but that doesn't mean it's entertaining, thoughtful or even successfully provocative.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    I was also so disturbed by this film that I felt I had to rewatch certain scenes just to confirm that the emotional exhaustion I experienced while watching it wasn't just a personal preference, but rather a problem I had with what Iwai and his collaborators do in the film.
    • 81 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    I dislike much of Mirai because most of the film's Kun-centric scenes (which take up 90% of the movie) are split between the character's un-imaginative daydreams and his full-blast fits.
    • 83 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    The movie version of The Reason I Jump does not, in other words, successfully illustrate what its title promises, but rather generalizes about a sensitive topic to the point of inadvertently making it seem more unapproachable.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Song's performance makes me wish the rest of A Taxi Driver was as thoughtful.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    A cross between "Ocean's 11" and "The Expendables." American Renegades is also not nearly as fun as that sounds.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    While the first hour of “New Gods: Yang Jian” is about as attractive as it is surreal, the back half only works if you care about the destinies of its undistinguished protagonists.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Thérèse never goes beyond that level of psychological complexity because after a point, Miller and Carter aren't interested in exploring the murky depths of Thérèse 's feelings.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    The Cellar doesn't even need to be a smarter or even more faithful homage. All it needs to be is a little more of something—energetic, gross, thoughtful ... something!—to make it compelling enough to withstand comparisons to its many generic precedents.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    An exhausting, and mostly frustrating display of emotional scab-picking.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    While casting Glover as a reluctant everyman takes admirable chutzpah, there’s not much to “Mr. K” beyond its second-hand surrealism and strained counter-mythmaking.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Die-hard X Japan fans may enjoy seeing Yoshiki talk about his past, but everyone else will leave We Are X wondering who X Japan is.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    What’s mostly lacking is a matter of character-enhancing detail, the kind that would better integrate the movie’s high-concept thrills with its heartstring-tugging melodrama. Soapy’s not bad, but “This is Not a Test” lacks the sensationalism or sensitivity to make it more than a wan misfire.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Indie sci-fi film Kill Switch is the worst kind of science-fiction film: the kind that coasts on a central gimmick instead of delivering either visceral or intellectual thrills.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    The bad guy likes opera in the mostly forgettable heist/hostage thriller The Doorman, a movie that’s well-versed in clichés and basically watchable, but never really good.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Fistful of Vengeance is a movie in duration only; it’s pretty slapdash in terms of its execution, even during its glossy-looking action set pieces.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    These episodic sketches immediately feel monotonous since the plot isn't arranged in chronological or sequential order; leaps in time from 1945 back to 1941 and then forward to eventually 1944 are a distracting overcompensation for an otherwise lifeless chain of impersonal betrayals, cold-blooded murders, and unbelievable moping from all involved.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Wolves is consequently too violent to be a "Twilight" knockoff, and too cuddly to be an effectively freaky tale of a boy who, to paraphrase "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah," becomes a man while also becoming a wolf.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    An arty tribute to violent, sensuous, over-the-top Euro-trash pulp fiction.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    This isn’t a story, but an evocative collection of asked-and-answered prompts. You buy a ticket to Pacifiction and then you react, until the nudging stops.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    The filmmakers do what they can to compensate for their unlikely hero’s prevailing lack of charm and agency, but not even the combined forces of Lloyd Dobler and the Fab Four can bring a spike of joy to this DOA period drama.

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