For 859 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 39% higher than the average critic
  • 6% same as the average critic
  • 55% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.9 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Simon Abrams' Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 55
Highest review score: 100 Viet and Nam
Lowest review score: 0 The Asian Connection
Score distribution:
859 movie reviews
    • 67 Metascore
    • 35 Simon Abrams
    Gender inequality may be a potentially complicating factor when it comes to sexual trauma (i.e., men can also be abused by women), but that provocative conceit isn’t considered with much care or intelligence.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Stevens slowly and subtly unpacks that heady, provocative conceit with care and in a way that makes his directorial debut feel like the arrival of a major new talent.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    The Elephant Queen may not suit every adult viewers’ taste, but it is exceptionally sensitive and consistently thoughtful, especially when it’s concerned with the sorts of facts of life of which younger kids are probably already vaguely aware.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    A spectacularly disjointed comedy that’s only superficially about two foul-mouthed, but well-meaning dopes who light and pass the proverbial torch to the next generation of slackers. “Reboot” is more of an ego trip for Smith, an amiable, creatively frustrated pop artist who survived a major health crisis — one that even he knows he can’t shut up about.
    • 84 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Others may find In My Room to be a small gem thanks to Köhler’s eye for small details. He’s a keen image-maker; Armin’s story also resonates thanks to Köhler’s ear for naturalistic dialogue and novelistic detail, both of which serve the movie’s episodic narrative.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 65 Simon Abrams
    Impressive sound design, which makes every carabiner clink and boulder impact seem monumental, and Lee’s skilled use of close-up photography (combined with fast-cut montage editing) make “The Climbers” worth seeing on a big screen.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Loro feels like the work of a more mature artist. Sorrentino knows exactly who his Berlusconi is, and, with the help of Servillo — who delivers a characteristically impressive performance — manages to make the former Prime Minister’s total lack of introspection seem ironically revealing. Ecco Silvio: pathetic, alone, indestructible.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Fessenden’s prickly sense of humanism makes a considerable difference in Depraved, his engrossing take on Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, and maybe his best movie to date.
    • 86 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    For me, One Cut of the Dead is good enough. It sometimes surprised me while I waited for a payoff that Ueda basically delivered, even if he and his collaborators never made me involuntarily leave my seat.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    "Unnecessary Roughness” is a more apt title for the scuzzy serial killer procedural Night Hunter.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Most of the jokes in Tone-Deaf are variations on this gag: Harvey is a sentient fossil while Olive is an entitled brat. “Fine People On Both Sides” might have been a more apt title for this dud.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    The sleepy, dopey action bonanza Angel Has Fallen is disappointing, and not just for the reasons you might expect.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    The Divine Fury does sound like fun, especially given that, in the film, demons tend to catch fire as they’re exorcised. There’s also a climactic fight scene involving a scaly demon-man. And a ton of dead air, boring asides, tedious backstory, and other unnecessary narrative padding.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    I’d have an easier time accepting the trite, asked-and-answered conclusions that director Muye Wen and co-writers Jianu Han and Wei Zhong lead viewers to if they were more adept at tugging at viewers’ heart-strings.
    • 77 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Watching La Flor is like being on the last legs of a road trip with a group of people you’ve grown increasingly alienated from. Look at the happy artists, they’re having fun playing with themselves; good for them, can I go home now?
    • 12 Metascore
    • 12 Simon Abrams
    Please take me away from this horrible movie.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    The Hong Kong Triad mob thriller The White Storm 2: Drug Lords is a cynic’s delight, though often not in the ways you might expect. As a message movie, The White Storm 2 is pretty toothless.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Trespassers is fairly timid, as far as home-invasion thrillers go: it’s got some machete - and gun-related violence, a couple of leering masked killers, and a little rough sex, but that’s about it.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Killers Anonymous just doesn't make sense as a throwback to MTV-friendly sensibilities. It's also not inventive, funny, or energetic enough to warrant its creators' vague ideas about deceiving looks, moral relativism, and, uh, girl power?
    • 56 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Our Time is even funny sometimes, albeit in the same kind of wryly mordant and cosmically alienated way as Stanley Kubrick’s “Eyes Wide Shut.”
    • 73 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    One of the main pleasures of watching The Raft, a new documentary that combines decades-old footage of the Acali's 101-day voyage with modern-day commentary by the ship's six surviving crew mates, is that the Acali's story isn't just told from Genoves's self-mythologizing perspective.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    An unbearably preachy post-financial-crisis civics lesson in heist movie drag.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    A machine to deliver gore and violence, Brightburn also features some of the most improbably and even hatefully dumb salt-of-the-Earth type characters in a recent American horror movie. But even if you watch Brightburn knowing that it doesn't have much going for it beyond a few disturbing kill scenes, you will still be disappointed.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    To be clear: Asako I & II is not a bad movie, just one that doesn't convey much beyond its creators' intentions. There are moments of poetic beauty scattered throughout, like the few scenes that don't push the otherwise cloud-light plot along.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 100 Simon Abrams
    The Wandering Soap Opera also sometimes feels like it was made by a filmmaker who doesn't understand where he is anymore. That mixture of excitement, confusion, and terror defines all six of the movie's vignettes.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Charlie Says loses much of its potency whenever it's not directly about the ordinary motives of the individual Manson clan members.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    So really, what's great about "Master Z" isn't the way that its creators transcend their chosen formula, but rather how they perfect it.
    • 88 Metascore
    • 100 Simon Abrams
    Long Day's Journey Into Night forces viewers to be simultaneously hyper-aware and un-self-conscious about the fact that they are watching a movie that, in several scenes, is presented in real time.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    The resulting episodic narrative is light on dialogue and heavy on ambiance; it's precise to an unsettling degree since a number of scenes start and stop whenever Lizzy can feel her way in and out of them.
    • 82 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Relaxer is a light, but moody comedy about an irredeemable loser who is too unwell to save himself. Imagine a deceptively optimistic comedy concerning a neurotic fish who's slowly circling his unwashed, slow-draining aquarium.

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