For 854 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 40% higher than the average critic
  • 6% same as the average critic
  • 54% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Simon Abrams' Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 55
Highest review score: 100 Viet and Nam
Lowest review score: 0 Zookeeper
Score distribution:
854 movie reviews
    • tbd Metascore
    • 65 Simon Abrams
    Impressive sound design, which makes every carabiner clink and boulder impact seem monumental, and Lee’s skilled use of close-up photography (combined with fast-cut montage editing) make “The Climbers” worth seeing on a big screen.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Loro feels like the work of a more mature artist. Sorrentino knows exactly who his Berlusconi is, and, with the help of Servillo — who delivers a characteristically impressive performance — manages to make the former Prime Minister’s total lack of introspection seem ironically revealing. Ecco Silvio: pathetic, alone, indestructible.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Fessenden’s prickly sense of humanism makes a considerable difference in Depraved, his engrossing take on Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, and maybe his best movie to date.
    • 86 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    For me, One Cut of the Dead is good enough. It sometimes surprised me while I waited for a payoff that Ueda basically delivered, even if he and his collaborators never made me involuntarily leave my seat.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    "Unnecessary Roughness” is a more apt title for the scuzzy serial killer procedural Night Hunter.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Most of the jokes in Tone-Deaf are variations on this gag: Harvey is a sentient fossil while Olive is an entitled brat. “Fine People On Both Sides” might have been a more apt title for this dud.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    The sleepy, dopey action bonanza Angel Has Fallen is disappointing, and not just for the reasons you might expect.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    The Divine Fury does sound like fun, especially given that, in the film, demons tend to catch fire as they’re exorcised. There’s also a climactic fight scene involving a scaly demon-man. And a ton of dead air, boring asides, tedious backstory, and other unnecessary narrative padding.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    I’d have an easier time accepting the trite, asked-and-answered conclusions that director Muye Wen and co-writers Jianu Han and Wei Zhong lead viewers to if they were more adept at tugging at viewers’ heart-strings.
    • 77 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Watching La Flor is like being on the last legs of a road trip with a group of people you’ve grown increasingly alienated from. Look at the happy artists, they’re having fun playing with themselves; good for them, can I go home now?
    • 12 Metascore
    • 12 Simon Abrams
    Please take me away from this horrible movie.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    The Hong Kong Triad mob thriller The White Storm 2: Drug Lords is a cynic’s delight, though often not in the ways you might expect. As a message movie, The White Storm 2 is pretty toothless.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Trespassers is fairly timid, as far as home-invasion thrillers go: it’s got some machete - and gun-related violence, a couple of leering masked killers, and a little rough sex, but that’s about it.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Killers Anonymous just doesn't make sense as a throwback to MTV-friendly sensibilities. It's also not inventive, funny, or energetic enough to warrant its creators' vague ideas about deceiving looks, moral relativism, and, uh, girl power?
    • 56 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Our Time is even funny sometimes, albeit in the same kind of wryly mordant and cosmically alienated way as Stanley Kubrick’s “Eyes Wide Shut.”
    • 73 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    One of the main pleasures of watching The Raft, a new documentary that combines decades-old footage of the Acali's 101-day voyage with modern-day commentary by the ship's six surviving crew mates, is that the Acali's story isn't just told from Genoves's self-mythologizing perspective.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    An unbearably preachy post-financial-crisis civics lesson in heist movie drag.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    A machine to deliver gore and violence, Brightburn also features some of the most improbably and even hatefully dumb salt-of-the-Earth type characters in a recent American horror movie. But even if you watch Brightburn knowing that it doesn't have much going for it beyond a few disturbing kill scenes, you will still be disappointed.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    To be clear: Asako I & II is not a bad movie, just one that doesn't convey much beyond its creators' intentions. There are moments of poetic beauty scattered throughout, like the few scenes that don't push the otherwise cloud-light plot along.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 100 Simon Abrams
    The Wandering Soap Opera also sometimes feels like it was made by a filmmaker who doesn't understand where he is anymore. That mixture of excitement, confusion, and terror defines all six of the movie's vignettes.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Charlie Says loses much of its potency whenever it's not directly about the ordinary motives of the individual Manson clan members.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    So really, what's great about "Master Z" isn't the way that its creators transcend their chosen formula, but rather how they perfect it.
    • 88 Metascore
    • 100 Simon Abrams
    Long Day's Journey Into Night forces viewers to be simultaneously hyper-aware and un-self-conscious about the fact that they are watching a movie that, in several scenes, is presented in real time.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    The resulting episodic narrative is light on dialogue and heavy on ambiance; it's precise to an unsettling degree since a number of scenes start and stop whenever Lizzy can feel her way in and out of them.
    • 82 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Relaxer is a light, but moody comedy about an irredeemable loser who is too unwell to save himself. Imagine a deceptively optimistic comedy concerning a neurotic fish who's slowly circling his unwashed, slow-draining aquarium.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Unlike most costume dramas, Sunset — a moving Hungarian character study set in Budapest during 1913 — isn't a movie you can easily get lost in. The movie's disorienting and visually austere style takes some getting used to.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    I often rolled my eyes at the kitschy, broad humor that Knife+Heart director Yann Gonzalzez (who co-wrote the film with Cristiano Mangione) sometimes used to characterize his sexually active queer characters.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Castañeda and Van Damme's scene-stealing performances don't significantly improve writer/director Lior Geller's frequent reliance on racial stereotypes and gangster movie cliches.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    A week after seeing The Wandering Earth, I'm still marveling at how good it is. I can't think of another recent computer-graphics-driven blockbuster that left me feeling this giddy because of its creators' can-do spirit and consummate attention to detail.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Still: the cold half (ie: the important half) of Lords of Chaos is so ugly and mean-spirited that I couldn't really enjoy the other parts of the film that work, not even Rory Culkin's fantastic lead performance, or the on-screen chemistry that he shares with supporting actress Sky Ferreira (as photographer/love interest Ann-Marit).

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