Jesse Hassenger

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For 802 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 53% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 44% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 6.5 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Jesse Hassenger's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 59
Highest review score: 91 American Honey
Lowest review score: 12 Asking for It
Score distribution:
  1. Negative: 69 out of 802
802 movie reviews
    • 60 Metascore
    • 50 Jesse Hassenger
    The Lucy-Desi material that should be at the heart of the story never really pays off, as if it’s wandered off and found another, secret movie to inhabit.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    The performers do sell a lot of this material. Bell is especially funny as a cheery, lonely mom whose litany of childcare responsibilities has cut her off from the rest of the world.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 56 Jesse Hassenger
    For a touch-and-go exercise in hoping the audience will fill in not just the narrative blanks but the emotional ones, there’s We Live in Time.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    Fuze doesn’t fly off the rails at its midpoint. It keeps moving forward at a steady clip. By its final stretch, however, the effort to sustain itself becomes more visible, and less quietly confident.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 83 Jesse Hassenger
    The wistful feelings it generates about a world allowed to keep moving coexist alongside an uneasy evocation of brain fog, an easy stand-in for either a zombified endemic state or a specific long-COVID symptom—take your pick. Whatever the original motivation, Leon appears to sense, after a couple of sweet slice-of-life capers, that you can’t keep walking and talking forever.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    The heroes are noble but believable, the villains appropriately loathsome, and the violent clashes, particularly a turning-point castle infiltration, are exciting without indulging in a Gibson-style wallow in torture and gore. But the moments of offbeat personality that animate Mackenzie’s best work are fewer and farther between.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    As in a lot of good sci-fi, the movie is set in a particular world, but driven by the characters that inhabit it.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 42 Jesse Hassenger
    It turns out that Sing’s myriad irritations are a lot more eclectic than its long, long playlist of pop hits.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 59 Jesse Hassenger
    Springsteen’s earnestness makes him seem like a nicer, more open-hearted sort than Dylan in A Complete Unknown. It also makes for a less prickly character in a less entertaining movie.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 50 Jesse Hassenger
    Josh Hartnett does a fine job in Fight or Flight’s intensely physical, one-versus-100 lead role, but the movie doesn’t have much to offer beyond 15 minutes of inventive action and 80 minutes of aggressive mediocrity.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    In other words, 12 years have elapsed since the last Bridget Jones movie. A skinnier, more put-together Bridget isn’t necessarily a more interesting character; she’s a little more "Sex And The City" this time out, however incrementally.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    As much as the movie sidesteps biographical conventions with its narrow frame and playful tone, it can’t avoid a separate cliché that plagues this sort of material: Elvis & Nixon is basically a diverting TV movie given a theatrical release.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    This makes The Final Girls an odd concoction: a semi-crude and not especially scary horror-comedy with some real emotional depth.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    Only in fits and starts does Together capture the electricity of live performance.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 62 Jesse Hassenger
    It’s telling that The Forgiven has the shape of a long, dark night of the soul, while actually taking place over several days.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    If anything, Demons Strike Back is an even zanier and more kid-friendly affair than the Chow original. Yet without Chow’s unique strain of silliness, it also feels louder and more antic while covering less ground.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 38 Jesse Hassenger
    Ana may be attempting to climb the class ladder, but the movie moves between classes with a freedom that feels weakly imagined.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Yet none of this stuff, largely but not exclusively confined to a rote opening 30 minutes or so, works as well as the seemingly lower-stakes but far more evocatively handled saga of John Wick’s dog.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Primate makes a characteristically concise case for Roberts as a genre stylist to keep watching.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 56 Jesse Hassenger
    Much of The Roses languishes in second gear, with glints of amusement (Colman doing an Ian McKellan impression; the Englishness of punctuating or preceding insults with “darling”) that only accumulate in a way that makes the movie feel a little safe, compared to the genuine rancor and bitterness of the earlier film.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 55 Jesse Hassenger
    Novocaine starts with a premise that is Crank-like in its absurdity, deepens it with feeling, and then rams full speed ahead through a litany of stupidities.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 42 Jesse Hassenger
    This is a movie that seems utterly convinced that it’s saying something profound, but proves difficult to actually parse.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    That’s the true power of Affleck and Bernthal’s collective charm offensive: They can make a junky story about a computer-brained savior of human-trafficking victims resemble a whimsical hangout session.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    The movie’s deference to Diesel’s whims, sincerity, and ego all at once is part of its charm—though perhaps a smaller share of it here than in the past.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 50 Jesse Hassenger
    It’s just another piece of well-decorated regal real estate.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    That the movie is “only” a silly romp makes it all the more charming to watch Boden and Fleck find a less mechanical, less programmatic way to have fun.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 50 Jesse Hassenger
    After noble and varied entries like "Jack Reacher," "Hell Or High Water," and "The Old Man & The Gun," The Highwaymen is a crucial reminder that good Dad Movies aren’t as easy to make as they look.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    Rogen’s comedies have often layered broad laughs with humanity and thematic ambition. Here, like Herschel and Ben, they aren’t especially convincing sharing the frame.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Efron imbues his handsome-dope routine with such nuance that Teddy is not only funny but also touching in his sincere desire for brotherhood, in short supply postgraduation. What could have been simplistic self-parody becomes a genuinely, almost confusingly terrific performance.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    In some ways, The Mule represents a late-period version of classic Eastwood, in that it’s even pokier and more workmanlike than his best work, and sometimes downright strange.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    In The Oath, his first feature as a writer-director, comic actor Ike Barinholtz zeroes in on an approach somewhere between caustic stage comedy and "The Purge." The movie isn’t always up to the delicacy of that ambitious balancing act, but even the attempt is engaging.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    Gradually, Midnight Sky becomes a nailbiter—not over the fate of the Earth or the astronauts so much as whether its two storylines will coalesce into something more meaningful. Somewhat surprisingly, they do (though others’ mileage may vary even more than usual).
    • 58 Metascore
    • 50 Jesse Hassenger
    The complexities of those people are diluted in a movie that’s not quite a functional ensemble but not intimate enough to qualify as a character study.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 42 Jesse Hassenger
    Though little about the technical skill of Sgt. Stubby: An American Hero brings to mind Spielberg, it’s hard not to think of "War Horse."
    • 58 Metascore
    • 50 Jesse Hassenger
    The characters’ overall niceness makes the movie pleasant in the moment—and easy to shrug off as a fantasy.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Eden winds up yoking Howard’s more domesticated movies with his thwarted-adventure narratives. The suspense lies in whether certain characters will figure out whether they’re on a bold, one-off exploration or the cusp of a sustainable new life—and whether humanity on the whole is any good at telling them apart.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 65 Jesse Hassenger
    The Next Level thinks the milk-bland personalities of its central teenagers and a couple of cranky old people count as a rooting interest to ground the hijinks. Black, Hart, and Awkwafina could be a comedy dream team; instead, they’re stuck hustling around a bunch of video game battles.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    As charming as the early scenes are, The Finest Hours doesn’t really come together as a love story, either, and Affleck’s scenes on the tanker are too abbreviated to really sink in as great survival drama.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    The Night Before isn’t Rogen’s funniest movie. Minute for minute, it doesn’t have as many laughs as "Superbad," "Neighbors," or "This Is The End," among others. But it does contain one of Rogen’s funniest performances, as Isaac navigates a very long and very bad drug trip, a responsibility-free Christmas gift from his wife.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    It’s minor, clever, and essential in the specialized field of Gemma Arterton studies.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 50 Jesse Hassenger
    The intimate highlights are too few and far between in this distended adaptation.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 60 Jesse Hassenger
    Anyone suffering from severe summer-movie withdrawal might want to seek this one out, so long as they prepare themselves for a familiar summer sensation. The film pops, then fizzes and fades: It’s a firecracker of a movie, for better and worse.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    Despite or maybe because of its unusual, constant-reset rhythms, large swaths of the movie actually work. It helps that Derrickson has two genuine stars on his side in the form of Teller and Taylor-Joy who both, lacking an infrastructure for proper romantic comedies, channel that energy into an unusually convincing version of a romance that would normally be obligatory at best.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 45 Jesse Hassenger
    Beyond a handful of vaguely contemporary references – podcasts; crypto; Stormy Daniels – there’s little sense of the present in Spinal Tap II, not even of the band being particularly out of touch with it. It’s been four decades since the first film! Shouldn’t their resentments be pettier, their epic reconvening more desperate?
    • 57 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    Without having seen the two-film version, it’s unclear whether the gender-segregated points of view would enhance that emotional intensity or create more redundancy in an already thin narrative. In this form, The Disappearance Of Eleanor Rigby tows the line between just enough and a bit too much.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 83 Jesse Hassenger
    If this all sounds more than a little familiar, it’s probably because similar material about young-ish women growing up and maybe apart has been staged recently and on a variety of scales, from the scrappy intimacy of "Frances Ha" to the broader comedy of "Bridesmaids." Life Partners isn’t as ebullient as the former or laugh-out-loud funny as the latter, but it maintains a sharp specificity about both of its lead characters’ lives.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    A movie like this doesn’t require 30 Rock’s joke density or silly streak, but it’s surprising that Fey and Carlock’s satirical eyes aren’t a little more alert.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    Director Susanna White, on only her second feature, jazzes up the proceedings to match the skill of actors like McGregor, Harris, and Skarsgård. Most notable is her smart use of cinematographer Anthony Dod Mantle.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 60 Jesse Hassenger
    Arcadian is an effective creature-feature B-movie that gets the job done in under 90 minutes.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    If Extraction 2 isn’t necessarily smarter than its predecessor, maybe it’s somewhat less stupid. Its self-conscious action craft puts a little bit of brain behind all that performative brawn.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 76 Jesse Hassenger
    Happy Death Day 2U pulls off a trick that isn’t especially easy for original movies, let alone direct sequels: it makes all the laborious world-building and storytelling effort feel like fun.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 63 Jesse Hassenger
    What Jan Komasa’s film gets right is how so much right-wing radicalization, especially in upper classes, stems from status-based grievances.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 53 Jesse Hassenger
    If Hell of a Summer is supposed to spoof the horror movies it resembles, it never settles on a satirical point of view from which to approach them. If it’s supposed to actually imitate them, well, even worse; the original Friday the 13th is no classic, but it’s got a damn sight more atmosphere than this.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    Wrath is also fun, after a fashion, only with the grim undercurrent of a movie more interested in generating violence than truly motivating it. This is especially true in the second half, when Ritchie offers solutions to a mystery that never really had any viable suspects.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 48 Jesse Hassenger
    Apart from some stray moments of youthful exuberance, the film version of 13 has been scrubbed as clean as any high school musical, so that it resembles any number of sitcomy streaming programming—erasing the very novelty that made it sing on stage.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 33 Jesse Hassenger
    Good intentions or not, it’s a little bit chilling, this fantasy world where “thoughts and prayers” really, truly are the best anyone can offer.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    Can 20 minutes or so of brutally inventive action really prop up a whole movie? In this case, yes. Havoc doesn’t reach the mayhem-as-characterization heights of John Wick or the Asian films that clearly inspire Evans, but it does turn its gnarly spectacle into a kind of absurd redemption for the flatness of its characters.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 44 Jesse Hassenger
    Jenkins brings a little more color and variety to the proceedings, and even a smidgen of royal-family bitchiness in the early dynamics of Mufasa’s adopted family – though the lion who would be Scar, through no fault of Harrison’s, doesn’t exactly give us access to the fullness of his emotional journey.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 71 Jesse Hassenger
    Antebi sets his own tone and masters it. The movie has the rush and the desperation of a fresh start.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 78 Jesse Hassenger
    Alpha is more of a horror-inflected drama than an outright genre piece, which allowed plenty of critics to fixate, not unfairly, on its failings as an AIDS metaphor. Yet the movie has resonance beyond simply recalling the years of its creator’s youth.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    Given the sweetly dull-witted relationship at its center, Adrift threatens to bog itself down with the endless intercutting back and forth in time. But the movie has a little more up its sleeves, narratively speaking, than first appears, and Kormákur converges the two timelines effectively.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Ironweed asks a lot with its 140-plus minutes of low-key suffering. It feels long, in part because not a lot happens from a plot perspective. Still, its strongest moments linger.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 63 Jesse Hassenger
    The series may actually be subject to a bizarre formula: The looser and more disparate the parts of a Sonic movie are, the better the whole somehow holds together. At least that would explain why Sonic the Hedgehog 3 is, improbably, the best of the lot so far.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 61 Jesse Hassenger
    It is remarkable that his three-hour Wandering Earth prequel is simultaneously stranger and more emotionally grounded than the earlier film. Yet even at this length, even with eye-popping moments and believable characters, some crucial humanity feels missing.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    The rest of Race has other moments of engagement in a slickly produced and watchable package. But ultimately, it offers history told as a series of passing anecdotes.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 60 Jesse Hassenger
    Nightbitch has an ample supply of sharp observations, but it retracts its claws too soon and too easily.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    The result is lingering and unsatisfying uncertainty over whether this is a standalone novelty, a multiversal course correction, or a genuine send-off. Even its satire feels micromanaged. Wade Wilson can still bounce back with ease, but even in its diminished state, superhero bullshit remains a formidable foe.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    This is a lot of plot for a movie that endeavors primarily to entertain children, though the excess is more likely to give adults a headache.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 73 Jesse Hassenger
    Though their conflicts eventually lead to horror-movie violence, the cruelest fate, the movie implies, may be a professional life consigned to malls, overpriced novelty coffee drinks, and other commercial/cultural remnants of a millennial youth.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    While The Man From U.N.C.L.E. probably isn’t any less of a caricature of its period than "Sherlock Holmes," it carries its fakeness with more snap in its step. The imaginary intrigue it generates is fleeting, but often beautiful.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 50 Jesse Hassenger
    Minions has idiosyncratic roots, but it’s a franchise play all the way. Finally, even 5-year-olds have their own movie that mechanically cashes in on something they loved when they were younger.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    Early on, Steadman talks about his humor needing to have a “slightly maniacal” edge. For No Good Reason has no such thing; it’s gently informative and amusing the whole way through.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 50 Jesse Hassenger
    In a trim 88 minutes, it manages to make Poots and Shannon an intriguing duo, then lets them revert to odd mismatch. It may be worth watching, though, for anyone who’s ever wanted to see Shannon attempt to burn holes in Justin Long with his eyes.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 50 Jesse Hassenger
    What this one offers in abundance is facts about golf in its early days. How the movie escaped a Father’s Day release in the U.S. is a mystery.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    With eleven different characters to serve—not counting several animal sidekicks—A New Age has a lot going on in terms of plot and action, with a litany of new alliances, betrayals, and team-ups. But the sequel is not as visually sophisticated as its predecessor.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 57 Jesse Hassenger
    If Senior Year had been willing to further develop its affectionate social satire, it might have been a surprise 2020s classic of the teen-movie genre. Instead, it’s dead set on proving it has heart, too, and in the process becomes as thirsty for likes as any teenager’s Insta.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    At times, the movie feels like it’s having fun in spite of itself. So it’s perfect, in a way, that Edgar Allan Poe keeps turning up to jolt his own story back to life.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    [Wright] continues to prove more adept at tightly weaving his thematic concerns into genre-friendly comedy. Making a muscular, fun-enough adaptation of The Running Man is at once beneath him and beyond him.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    Smith’s Omalu makes a compelling character, supported by his mentor Cyril Wecht (Albert Brooks) and former team doctor Julian Bailes (Alec Baldwin). But Concussion doesn’t crackle like the best whistleblower dramas.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    For Ritchie, though, the stolidness is an experiment and, in The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare at least, a reasonably effective one.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    Whatever its faults, this is a nice movie, a crowdpleaser best experienced with an appreciative audience.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 50 Jesse Hassenger
    It’s harmless bad, not torture bad.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    The movie’s lack of a clearly defined villain might alienate some genre fans; so might the lack of an easily trackable metaphor. Others will find it a relief. Never Let Go is a horror movie more interested in what it can evoke than what it can state or even imply.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 33 Jesse Hassenger
    Foster, a novice at suspenseful filmmaking, doesn’t seem to know which screws to tighten or if screws even need tightening at all.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    Yesterday, Boyle’s new Beatles-centric dramedy, comes closer than he’s ever dared before — which makes this likable, hummable movie particularly disappointing when it fails to ignite the pop fireworks of his best work.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    Ambulance tightens the story’s frequent ridiculousness into genuine tension; it’s just retro enough to feel like an old-fashioned thriller done up with some newfangled tech that doesn’t choke the images with overly obvious CG.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    It’s a watchably low-key family adventure, but that’s a low bar to clear for Nancy Drew, so well-suited to function as a gateway text—to Sherlock Holmes, Veronica Mars, Philip Marlowe, Brick, House, Encyclopedia Brown fanfic... almost anything involving advanced noticing.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 31 Jesse Hassenger
    By the end of this movie, its inventive genre cross-breeding feels as worn-out as any other.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    The cross-cutting duet it builds to, with two people singing the same song separated by hundreds of miles, is a nice musical moment, but just that: a moment. Ideally, even a low-key romantic drama should have more than one.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    Violent Night isn’t a great action movie, or even a very good one, but George Costanza’s old assessment of Home Alone rings true: “The old man got to me!”
    • 55 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    You can feel The Flash wishing it could steal a glimpse into the audience and revise itself on the fly accordingly; no wonder early screenings apparently hedged on an ending until the last possible minute.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 55 Jesse Hassenger
    At times, Double Tap does recapture the original film’s tossed-off delights. It’s been revived with so many of the original actors and filmmakers for that express purpose. But this particular sequel suggests that in another 10 years, there won’t be much left to reanimate.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    The Current War employs actors capable of their own eccentric stylizations, and gives them very little leeway to make the material their own. Gomez-Rejon keeps snatching it back with every offbeat composition idea he can muster.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    The Lego Ninjago movie isn’t any worse than any number of professionally made but unexciting cartoons aimed at kids, and sometimes a gag will pop through with the same high-energy surprise that powered so much of The Lego Movie.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 33 Jesse Hassenger
    On stage, the contrivances might seem less glaring (although the songs truly are terrible). As a movie, The Prom is all-star, feel-good, zazzy nonsense. Long after Murphy’s film drops its cutesy cynicism, it still manages to accidentally produce a damning indictment of Broadway phoniness.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 50 Jesse Hassenger
    Actual kids will probably enjoy The Secret Life Of Pets 2, just as they probably enjoy whatever mini-movies Illumination churns out to supplement its hyper-successful home-entertainment releases. But they might also start to sense just how mini this sequel feels, and start fidgeting after 15 or 20 minutes.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 62 Jesse Hassenger
    The lessons are sweet, the kid actors are cute, and the kid audience will probably enjoy it accordingly. Whether it sticks in their memory for 20 years or even a few months, though, is another question entirely.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    Instead of deepening his material, Condon has made an unsuccessful fling of a movie: fun for a while, but trying to get as far as it can by leaving crucial material off of its profile.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    The quartet of actors lends Song To Song somewhat more focus, but it still finds ways to sprawl.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 45 Jesse Hassenger
    If you want to make a slasher-level action-mayhem movie, make the damn movie; don’t pretend your excuses for ultraviolence come from a humanist core. Mayhem! yearns to be taken seriously in all the wrong places.

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