Jesse Hassenger

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For 802 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 53% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 44% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 6.5 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Jesse Hassenger's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 59
Highest review score: 91 American Honey
Lowest review score: 12 Asking for It
Score distribution:
  1. Negative: 69 out of 802
802 movie reviews
    • 69 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    There are times when the slight, small Sparrows Dance pushes too hard, both visually and narratively: a blinking red light outside Ireland’s window provides overly fussy on-off lighting during two long scenes, and the movie’s flairs of serious conflict are less deft than its offhand moments of connection. There are enough of said moments, though, to sustain its sweetly hesitant romance.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    The smoothness of the movie’s individual sequences bumps up against narrative raggedness, as Affleck labors to compress a sprawling, novel-ready narrative.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    As if to counteract the bummer of watching a raucous comedy on Netflix rather than in a theatrical setting, Bad Trip comes equipped with its own crowd energy—a collective faith that there’s no idiotic stunt that can’t be pulled back from the brink of disaster.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    After The Hunt does eventually add up to something greater than its flood of but-what-about details.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    It’s a star vehicle for Tatum and Dunst that can’t put all of its faith in the healing power of charisma and chemistry.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Spy
    Spy, similarly, doesn’t exactly send up James Bond or Jason Bourne espionage thrillers, but it places McCarthy in the middle of the action while subverting the traditionally male domination of that arena.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Blitz often feels like a pitched battle between the conventions of big-canvas war recreation and McQueen’s attempt to evoke the stranger, less obviously narrative-driven chaos that happens when the battlefield descends on a major urban center from the sky.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    If you’re looking for two hours of not-quite-escape, the solipsism of Locked Down has real charm and entertainment value, not least in its willingness to be a movie about adults — and for adults. If the specter of a global pandemic haunts the material more than it enriches, well, it’s not alone, is it?
    • 41 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Smigel may not want to take up permanent residence in the Happy Madison offices, but he raises his old friend’s game considerably.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Without an emotional core, a stronger sociological angle, or many visceral thrills, Black Mass more or less limits itself to procedural status. Within those aims, it’s a pretty good one, absorbing and well-made.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Plus One isn’t much more than consistently amusing and sweetly romantic, but in the right hands, those qualities can still feel like a lot.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    As much as some of the imagery feels like Raimi playing the hits, Send Help also suggests a later-career shift for the filmmaker, one where his comic-book throwbacks run into (or over?) contemporary obstacles without losing their go-for-broke loopiness. It can get messy. Good for him.
    • 81 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Setting aside more particular genre trappings, Mangold re-engineers one of his unfussy studio throwbacks into a supersized Dad Movie event.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    It’s the first time McCarthy has made such prickly use of his talent for summoning audience sympathy, allowing Bill’s regrets about his parental shortcomings to resonate through his every decision.
    • 79 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Plenty of crime capers end ruefully, but few feel this potently bittersweet.
    • 87 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Todd Haynes obviously loves rock and roll, which makes it all the more impressive that he’s spent his career making movies about key figures in its history while avoiding the usual lionizing cliches.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    That the movie is “only” a silly romp makes it all the more charming to watch Boden and Fleck find a less mechanical, less programmatic way to have fun.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Even if this Into The Woods lacks the exhilaration of the best movie musicals, it does capture the show’s emotional intimacy—no small task in a field that favors razzle dazzle.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Ultimately, Creed II feels a little muffled by its workmanlike touches, especially when it gets in the ring. Just as Rocky was too low-key and charming to spawn a fully worthy successor for several decades, Creed so elevates its franchise roots that even a pretty good sequel can’t land with the same impact. Then again, a 2018 movie called Creed II expanding on Rocky IV to become one of the better Rocky movies may be another minor miracle on its own.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    The Night Before isn’t Rogen’s funniest movie. Minute for minute, it doesn’t have as many laughs as "Superbad," "Neighbors," or "This Is The End," among others. But it does contain one of Rogen’s funniest performances, as Isaac navigates a very long and very bad drug trip, a responsibility-free Christmas gift from his wife.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Ironweed asks a lot with its 140-plus minutes of low-key suffering. It feels long, in part because not a lot happens from a plot perspective. Still, its strongest moments linger.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Hancock is not the ideal fit for the queasy mix of fascination, sympathy, and discomfort that Siegel brought to movies like The Wrestler and Big Fan. The Founder is drier than either of those movies, which means it’s less funny but also has even less potential for sentiment.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    It’s telling that the filmmaker captures one of Gallagher’s best moments in a long and relatively uneventful take situated at a breakfast table; this movie may wander, but Akhavan’s attention to perfect little moments is unwavering.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    This kitschy, weirdo movie has such a bizarre clarity of vision about what it wants to do that a few biffed jokes are almost part of its charm, like its sketch-comedy accents and intentional defiance of logic.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Perhaps because Lando was less explored than Han in the original films, Glover manages the tricky task of both paying homage to role originator Billy Dee Williams while adding his own spin to the character. Like Ehrenreich, his version goes comic without tipping into outright spoofery.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Low Tide is mostly a genre exercise. But it’s a disciplined, rigorously entertaining one.
    • 79 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Medel and Kuhling both give remarkably even-keeled performances, making their differences clear without a lot of voice-raising.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    What’s consistent about Photograph is the way it maintains the delicacy of a particularly fine short story, complete with some ghostly supporting characters and plenty of ellipses where more conventional movies would amp up the exclamation points.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    As enjoyable as this movie is, sometimes it feels like it’s holding back; no one’s id runs wild. But the limitations of Ghostbusters make Wiig, McCarthy, McKinnon, and Jones even more valuable. They make a big franchise-starter warmer and more endearing than it needs to be.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    The movie’s thread about parental neglect and/or sacrifice is wispy. As a carnival geek show, though, Lee Cronin’s The Mummy delivers the goods, and at greater volume than its unofficial predecessors. It isn’t as personal a movie as the possessive title implies, but the marketing is largely correct: For the first time in ages, a mummy presides over a real horror show.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    The filmmakers and actors imbue the characters with remarkable depth of feeling.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    This passion project also lets Norton indulge in the kind of tic-heavy acting challenge he embraced early in his career.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    For Kendrick in particular, it’s a sign that she could sing her way through something bigger.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Twice now Reilly and Silverman have helped to give a cartoon’s happy ending real emotional depth. And twice now, they’ve made their characters so endearing that some fans may feel oddly conflicted about the prospect of undoing those endings just to see them again.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    As a thriller, Searching is both ruthlessly absorbing in the moment and relatively disposable as soon as it ends, sliding itself gracefully into the desktop recycling bin.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    The comedy Blockers, which is not written, produced, or directed by Apatow but feels descended from some of his work, sets for itself a more ambitious challenge, daring itself to give each member of its ensemble a coming-of-age arc, and to pull off two different high-concept comedies at once in the process.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    It’s remarkable, then, how well Caught Stealing holds together as entertainment; as much as Aronofsky seems incapable of the modulation needed to make a crime caper, he’s also a big part of why this particular variation works anyway.
    • 76 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    It all threatens to resemble a hat on a hat, possibly worn by a snake eating its own tail. Yet Perry isn’t really going for a trippy hall-of-mirrors approach, even when he cuts together multiple performances of songs so that Pavements past, present, and fake-ass trade verses on their catalog of ’90s non-hits.
    • 78 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Sorry To Bother You is often wildly funny, and if its broad arc is familiar stuff about a down-on-his-luck everyman experiencing success but at what cost, at least the plot specifics are unpredictable by dint of Riley’s imagination.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    A relatively straightforward comic love story/environmental parable, it’s a sharper bit of whimsy than CJ7 and less weighed down with mythology than Journey To The West.
    • 78 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Like Disney’s "Big Hero 6," the movie is busy, but not breathless with invention.
    • 83 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Don’t Think Twice is the rare movie that’s immersed in improv as a subject, not a behind-the-scenes technique for goosing laughs.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    What Hill hasn’t yet mastered, despite considerable skill as a first-time filmmaker, is how to impose a narrative more quietly, especially in finding the right ending. He also doesn’t seem to fully trust his sense of humor.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    There’s never a true early-check-out moment of the sort that arrives with such numbing frequency in so many bigger-scale blockbusters; the movie locks in and moves.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Eden winds up yoking Howard’s more domesticated movies with his thwarted-adventure narratives. The suspense lies in whether certain characters will figure out whether they’re on a bold, one-off exploration or the cusp of a sustainable new life—and whether humanity on the whole is any good at telling them apart.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Underneath the expressive voice work, songs, in-jokes, and nonsense cameos, there is some thematic resonance to Lego Movie 2, not fully tapped.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    The quartet of actors lends Song To Song somewhat more focus, but it still finds ways to sprawl.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    It operates on its own little wavelength, rather than broadcasting itself loudly.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Dog
    As a whole, Dog is credible as a small-scale drama with some moments of light, puppyish comedy, from the man and the mutt. Like Clooney before him, Tatum hasn’t quite made his own Soderbergh movie. He has, however, made a surprisingly good one.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 74 Jesse Hassenger
    Even when Creed III treads familiar ground, this series feels like the ideal outlet for the on-screen persona Jordan is building: a resilient man who needs to better understand the power he’s fought so hard for.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 74 Jesse Hassenger
    In its clear-eyed and naturalistic way, Smoking Tigers takes on a surprising fullness. Like other coming-of-age stories, it must leave some matters unresolved; like many of the best, what we’re left with somehow feels like enough.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 74 Jesse Hassenger
    James Gunn’s real superpower is his ability to wear this comic-book nonsense lightly — to take it seriously within the world of the movie without feeling like he’s assigning homework.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 74 Jesse Hassenger
    Its creepy unease lingers, and just as in It Follows and The Guest, Monroe is the face of that unease. That’s the power of a great scream queen.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 73 Jesse Hassenger
    Though their conflicts eventually lead to horror-movie violence, the cruelest fate, the movie implies, may be a professional life consigned to malls, overpriced novelty coffee drinks, and other commercial/cultural remnants of a millennial youth.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 73 Jesse Hassenger
    Eastwood, still so earnestly attuned to the mechanics of personal guilt and faltering systems, finds timelessness in that growing unease.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 73 Jesse Hassenger
    Heart Eyes can’t help but swoon at the rich tradition of slashers serving as first-date fodder. It’s not especially scary, but it’s a thrill all the same.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 72 Jesse Hassenger
    Somewhere Quiet is a thriller, not just a moody exercise; it knows when to step back from the issues it raises and deliver real suspense.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 72 Jesse Hassenger
    Mottola and Hamm don’t seem like they’re trying to rewrite Hamm in Fletch’s image, or vice versa. They look more like they’re making exactly the half silly, half sly movie they personally want to see.
    • 80 Metascore
    • 72 Jesse Hassenger
    Working with fellow directors Ophelia Harutyunyan and Suzanne Hillinger, Gibney has delivered a swiftly paced chronicle of history in the making, rich in both immediacy and uncertainty.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 72 Jesse Hassenger
    The triptych of dark, minimalist fables that comprise Kindness share actors, an unnerving Twilight Zone tone, and a series of rhymes and echoes that sometimes feel like a chorus repeatedly transposed into different keys. But they most immediately, obviously share a lack of interest in being liked.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 71 Jesse Hassenger
    Men
    Men is a horror film operating largely under nightmare logic and allegorical rumbling, and in a broad sense can’t offer many true surprises.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 71 Jesse Hassenger
    Sly
    Perhaps the most endearing aspect of Sly is how it re-emphasizes that the real Stallone is, in fact, a pretty chatty, even loquacious guy. Even his references to his own limitations name-drop enough artists to undermine that lunkheaded image.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 71 Jesse Hassenger
    On its terms, and especially with an ending I read as ambiguous, The Woman in the Yard is also unflinching enough to maybe count as daring, and maybe Sollet-Cerra’s most viscerally moving film. It’s also among his least playful, least comforting. Your anxieties can’t follow you around if you can barely make it out of bed.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 71 Jesse Hassenger
    Antebi sets his own tone and masters it. The movie has the rush and the desperation of a fresh start.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 71 Jesse Hassenger
    More casual viewers’ mileage may vary on which stunts are laugh-out-loud funny and which are abjectly horrifying, and the rickety carnival rollercoaster ride works better when the other passengers—whether fellow audience members or the on-camera talent—are screaming and laughing along in equal measure.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 71 Jesse Hassenger
    Revived and pumped up for the sequel, Wan’s synthy semi-psychedelia still makes for a delightful trip, but maybe Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom could have used a little fresh air; for all of the eye-popping colors, creatures and action flourishes he engineers in and around the sea, there isn’t a single sequence as front-to-back satisfying as the surface-world rooftop chase in Italy that popped off the screen in the first movie.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 71 Jesse Hassenger
    There are hints of The Life Aquatic, which Baumbach co-wrote with Wes Anderson, with its absentee father who may not be a great artist either, as well as Anderson’s train-set Darjeeling Limited. Gorgeous as Jay Kelly is, and as funny as it is in moments, it can’t help but feel a little minor by comparison – a little easy, even, on its man-who-wasn’t-there protagonist.
    • 79 Metascore
    • 71 Jesse Hassenger
    Throughout all the chatter, some naturalistically repetitive and some more philosophical, is a sense of characters searching, whether that’s communicated through acting advice, relationships to vices (“How can it be bad for you? It’s just food”) or musings on the shortness of life.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 71 Jesse Hassenger
    In Water has more of a sad-sack quality than the semi-spirited chattiness of In Our Day, yet its images of young people wandering around in search of inspiration, artistic or otherwise, also have a shivery, ghostly edge that makes the melancholy feel earned.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 71 Jesse Hassenger
    Drop is ultimately a nice movie about an abuse survivor being terrorized by seemingly omniscient forces, loaded with moments that don’t really hold up to scrutiny and well-sold by Fahy’s performance.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 71 Jesse Hassenger
    Where 2022’s Scream showed how the series could keep adapting and changing to fit new cinematic trends, this one hints at how unsustainable franchise maintenance can feel over the long term, even for a series that’s enjoying its deserved resurgence in creativity and popularity.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 71 Jesse Hassenger
    Cold Storage makes horror-comedy look as easy and appealing as it’s supposed to be.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 71 Jesse Hassenger
    What sometimes resembles a goof on Stephen King becomes a form of tribute to the author’s ability to mine terror from the mere facts of living.
    • 87 Metascore
    • 71 Jesse Hassenger
    This is a striking introduction to Donaldson’s unflinching eye.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 71 Jesse Hassenger
    God’s Creatures doesn’t have quite the same enchanting, unnerving mystery of The Fits, where a girls’ dance troupe begins to suffer unexplained seizures. The hardscrabble working-class details here inevitably feel a bit more familiar, whether from American kitchen-sink indies or Irish plays.
    • 85 Metascore
    • 71 Jesse Hassenger
    At times, The Wild Robot feels almost elegiac – or is that just what happens when DreamWorks drops their worst habits and dedicates themselves to serving as a genuine creative competitor to their old rivals at Disney.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 71 Jesse Hassenger
    Even as it endeavors to ultimately subvert a few Archie Comics tropes and deepen a few of its initial teen-movie stereotypes, The Archies feels reluctant to instigate lasting change in its characters, like a TV series preparing for a long run. Here’s the thing, though: I’d happily spend another two and a half hours with The Archies, so long as it kept the music going.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 71 Jesse Hassenger
    It’s pleasant summer-evening entertainment like something out of 1995, and only occasionally gets too puffed up about what should be modest aims. That’s the advantage of pastiche: It’s hard to do it quite so self-seriously.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    You can feel The Flash wishing it could steal a glimpse into the audience and revise itself on the fly accordingly; no wonder early screenings apparently hedged on an ending until the last possible minute.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    Leo
    Leo looks like the kind of standard big-studio animation Netflix has been regularly knocking off, but it’s far funnier, and more unexpectedly sweet, than the average kid-targeted cartoon. In fact, Robert Smigel, Adam Sandler, and their collaborators have made one of the funniest movies of the year that doubles as a love letter to the complexities of teaching kids, in or out of the classroom.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    The movie’s lack of a clearly defined villain might alienate some genre fans; so might the lack of an easily trackable metaphor. Others will find it a relief. Never Let Go is a horror movie more interested in what it can evoke than what it can state or even imply.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    With its crisply likable leads mixing it up with pleasingly chewy gangster stereotypes, it has the consistency of a good candy bar.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    On a scene-by-scene basis, though, They Cloned Tyrone is well-crafted entertainment, buoyed by its three major performances.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    By laying off the action-movie gas pedal, Plane makes Butler, performing in his native Scottish accent, more warmly likable than he’s been in years.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    A paranoid thriller that sneaks in its character study so stealthily that it takes a while to realize who is actually being studied.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    Stewart and Erskine, on the other hand, are doing work so lived-in, so much more shaded than the nagging wife/girlfriend figures that typically orbit male immaturity narratives, that it’s hard not to wish the movie were about them instead.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    It’s both a canny contemporary riff on the material and a well-made but only moderately scary slasher.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    In movies like these, heartfelt relatability and comic setpieces (or even just consistently funny dialogue) form their own odd-couple symbiosis; Buffett’s movie feels more like a super-lo-fi Bridesmaids without enough of the aesthetic tradeoff that should come from ditching that movie’s generic glossiness.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    If Extraction 2 isn’t necessarily smarter than its predecessor, maybe it’s somewhat less stupid. Its self-conscious action craft puts a little bit of brain behind all that performative brawn.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    The movie works in its moment. It seems to know that an obvious, crowd-pleasing helping of franchise nonsense at least needs to have some kind of meat, however synthetic it may secretly be.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    True to its small, sometimes nearly microscopic, scale, The Adults draws a perfect miniature portrait of a highly specific demographic: People obsessed with doing bits, making up songs, and perpetuating their own inside jokes who nonetheless never turned to a life in the performing arts.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    This film isn’t a particularly astute portrayal of war, but it does ably depict sacrifice — something ultimately missing from the movie-star restoration of Top Gun: Maverick. Comparing the two movies isn’t especially fair, but it’s still worth noting that this smaller production is doing more with less.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    Blended with its 2000s plot points are the expedience, blunt dialogue and noirish venetian-blind shadows of a mid-to-lower-tier 1940s genre picture – with Affleck affecting a ragged, lummox-y dignity in the lead. If this doesn’t sound actually good, well, Hypnotic is a modest picture; that’s part of its appeal, if applicable.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    This sentimentalization plagues so many nostalgia pieces aimed at ex-kids, though at least a movie that ultimately pushes its luck and stalls out befits the high-rolling teenagers at its center. Most of Snack Shack is a winning scheme.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    If it’s no longer surprising that Sandler is a good, steady actor, it’s still fun to find out he can find new ways to play to the cheap seats.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    In its loopy, beguiling, occasionally befuddling way, Three Thousand Years of Longing feels like it’s trying—and sometimes failing—to sum something up about Miller’s own history of loving strange movie magic.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    It’s a piercing portrayal of culturally specific nerd rage in Tomine’s comics; on film, it’s a little talky, and could’ve used more Ghost World-style moments of caricature, like that savaging of Crazy Rich Asians at the opening. But while Shortcomings doesn’t turn Ben into a misanthropic hero or excuse his often-terrible behavior, it does stick to the ethos he espouses early in the picture: This is a movie full of people who are flawed, and real.
    • 83 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    Saint Maud feels like a closed system, more designed than fully felt. Its moments of ecstasy are never as thrilling nor frightening as they should be.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    Mostly, though, the movie’s cartoonishness feels pitched just right, a heightened silliness that the characters’ circumstances keep bringing back to earth.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    There’s something rattling around, somewhere in Heretic, dealing with the power and limitations of belief, a movie that aspires to the deviousness of something like Barbarian, to which its setting bears the mildest of superficial resemblance. At some point, it escapes into the night without much trace.

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