James Berardinelli

This is a competent, technically proficient rendering that may find favor with those who have never seen Romeo & Juliet on the big screen but it's little more than a curiosity for those with a long history of watching Shakespeare's works translated to the cinema.

The problem is that the writing is too weak for me to come close to recommending it.

Ultimately, however, owing to too many derivative elements and an erratic story that runs out of steam about halfway through, Metro is only partially-satisfying. I suppose any viewer's reaction will depend on whether they choose to see this particular glass as half-full or half-empty. Murphy fans and action junkies will probably find enough here to keep them involved and upbeat. Everyone else will likely see this material as disappointingly over-familiar. In the wasteland of early-1997 releases, you could do worse than Metro, but, by year's end, few people are likely to remember the title, let alone the premise.

This is schlock -– by-the-numbers action that ignores character development to the point where we find it hard to care whether L.T. catches Hallam.

Gangster Squad provides a welcome burst of heat and color, even if those qualities are more illusory than real and subject to a fast fade.

Most of their jokes miss the mark and the movie gets lost in action/thriller territory that’s anything but thrilling.

As slasher movies go, Halloween II is far from the bottom of the barrel, but, given its pedigree, one has a right to expect a higher degree of quality that what is delivered.

It's a fast-paced motion picture that fails the "reality test" but maintains a certain intensity for its entire running length. It's entertaining in the same way that an episode of "24" is entertaining.

As much as any other motion picture that employs the preparation and consumption of food as a key element, Mostly Martha provides the perfect blend of cinematic nourishment and gratification.

They could have called this Paranormal Inactivity.

The best I can say is that I was never bored, although I was never overwhelmed, either. There are enough small things to keep it interesting even when many of the big things fail.

Painfully unfunny and unnecessarily long, this movie is the antithesis of its predecessor, the delightfully raunchy "Horrible Bosses."

No one steals scenes from Samuel L. Jackson when he’s in this mode. His entire modus operandi is to be the biggest, baddest motherf... (watch your mouth!) on the planet. Nevertheless, Regina Hall gives him a run for his money – something she does with a lot less screen time.

Its video-on-demand availability makes Anti Matter easily accessible and it will reward those who seek it out.

Here Comes the Boom is stale and vanilla. We know we're in trouble early when the first joke fails.

Tedious and predictable, it employs obvious situations and clichés instead of genuine suspense-building elements.

If not for Bornedal's stylish approach to the material and a couple of effectively chilling sequences, Nightwatch would have been a complete waste of time and effort.

It gets props for kinetic energy, bursts of suspense, and a couple of bravura performances (Will Smith & Margot Robbie). But pretty much everything else is either mediocre or substandard and that makes it hard to champion this bloated and cheerless monstrosity.

By keeping its goals limited, it’s able to deliver what it promises, and that stands for something. I’ll admit I was more entertained by this high-concept sci-fi adventure than half the films I have seen thus far in 2023.

The element of high camp that makes for enjoyable "good trash" isn't present.

Ultimately, however, appreciation of The Phantom of the Opera will hinge upon your opinion of Lloyd Webber's skills as a composer.

The best bits in this film fall short of being inspired, but they are outrageous.

Although Peter Straughan’s stripped-down regurgitation of the story is faithful to Tartt’s narrative in the broadest sense of the word, it lacks elegance and depth. A Dickensian coming-of-age tale, The Goldfinch is at times dull and pretentious and never earns its 2.5-hour running length as an example of either art or entertainment.

Meg 2 (it lost the “The” somewhere along the way) is pretty awful stuff even in comparison to its predecessor.

The Virginity Hit is fresh, unpretentious fun, but the comedy is so raw that it will appeal only to those who appreciate this sort of unfiltered peek into the mind of males in their late teens and early twenties.

It's not a great film, but it succeeds in being both tender and cathartic.

With its blend of existential science fiction and character-based romance, it would seem to be as close to a can’t-miss premise as one can imagine yet, despite that, it somehow does miss – and by a wide margin.

It’s artificial, annoying, and boring.

As the movie approached the end credits, I cared about what happened to these characters, and that made the coincidences and occasional missteps forgivable.

Viggo Mortensen looks the part but never brings it home with great conviction or passion. I never believed in the character and that greatly diminished the film's ability to argue its ethical case.

There's more contrived melodrama in these two hours than romance fans could reasonably hope for.

Much of what's contained in Phantom is at best speculative and at worst completely made-up. But, regardless of the accuracy, it makes for compelling viewing. Phantom is one of the best films of a lousy early 2013 release roster.

Frustrating because it doesn't seem far removed from a wholly enjoyable motion picture, but the tempo's off, beats are missed, and the production ends up sounding out-of-tune.

A feeling of hopelessness pervades Sleepwalking.

By de-mythologizing Alexander, Stone has turned him into an unbelievable individual. We accept great deeds from great people, not from sniveling whiners.

To go with the good, there's plenty of bad, and it comes in the form of countless gags that misfire, far too much flatulence and urine, and (God help us) a buck naked Leslie Nielsen. Admittedly, that scene certainly puts the "scary" in Scary Movie 4.

The story's entire foundation is based upon a plot hole so gargantuan that anyone not suffering a brain cramp will identify it at once.

Seagal fans will find that their hero is still in his usual form (his form, like his expression, hasn't wavered since he debuted in Above the Law). The action scenes are adequately directed (by Felix Enriquez Alcala, a TV director making the crossover to feature films), and there's a genuinely tense truck-and-car chase that is worth about 90 seconds of moderate excitement. The rest of the film is all by-the-book stuff, but that's what's expected whenever the name "Steven Seagal" tops the marquee.

National Treasure's storyline isn't compelling or coherent enough to warrant the term "plot."

Only for die-hard Cho fans. Everyone else will be offended, bored, or some combination of the two.

Domino is a lackluster, hard-to-swallow police procedural with soap opera-ish subplots and flat characters.

Aloha is Crowe's worst film-to-date, eclipsing "Elizabethtown" for that distinction and raising questions about whether the director has lost his touch (á là Rob Reiner).

It is now weighed down by a second half that's equal parts incoherent, tedious, and repetitive.

Even though Moore sleepwalks his way through the part, making it apparent that he should have departed two films ago, and Tanya Roberts can't act to save her life (although she certainly can scream), we're back to a more conventional, straightforward Bond than the convoluted mess of the previous movie.

The script is a problem. It's mundane when it should be magical.

Jupiter Ascending feels like a truncated, Cliffs Notes version of something that might have worked a lot better as a mini-series. Two hours is too short for this tale and the end result suffers greatly because of that restriction.

A few months from now, no one will remember it, but Homefront isn't made for the long-haul. It's assembled simply for the 100 minutes when the viewer is in theater and, on a certain level, that's sufficient.

The special effects are suitably impressive and mostly understated (or at least as understated as is possible for a high-tech spy thriller) and the stunts are expertly executed. But it’s all in the service of a generic package.

On balance, Man on a Ledge is fun, but I left the theater feeling disappointed and cheated, as if the filmmakers set me up for something great they ultimately couldn't deliver.

Kids might think the snowman is cool, and some adults might be mildly amused by some of what transpires, but, on the whole, Jack Frost is far too superficial to be affecting, and its facile resolution to the loss of a parent borders on insulting. This is the kind of film that will leave most viewers cold.

Unfortunately, an A-list group of actors doesn't mean a lot when there isn't much of a script.

Wild Wild West isn't just a bad adaptation of a TV series; it's a bad film.

It lacks the simple elegance and intelligence of the earlier film, and employs special effects and pointless action scenes to replace passages of dialogue.

Although Spiral pretends to mine the trope of one good cop investigating department corruption, that’s really just an excuse to present long, lovingly-filmed instances of sadism and torture.

With a script that waffles between being hilariously absurd and insultingly stupid, and action scenes that won't cause anyone's pulse to skip a beat, Paycheck is less appealing than a lump of coal in a Christmas stocking.

6 Below is meant to be inspirational and, although it’s not specifically designated as a faith-based movie, it often feels like one.

Beastly was made with tween girls in mind. It's the kind of love story a viewer can believe in when she is indiscriminating enough to ignore bad acting, bad writing, and mediocre filmmaking.

Although the action scenes are competently executed, there's nothing here to raise the pulse.

There's no fun to be had here and if an action movie doesn't make the grade as escapist entertainment, what's the point?

Instead of being respectful of Bram Stoker's creation, it attempts to remake him as a tragic figure with superhero powers.

The result makes the movie seem assembled from bits and pieces of other superhero yarns rather than existing on a plane of its own.

It's an excursion into a melodramatic morass that occasionally becomes difficult to sit through because it's so cloying.

Distilled to its basics, it's little more than a sit-com that has been tarted up with scenes of projectile poop, odd sexual fetishes, and knife wielding babies. It all seems a little tired and, more importantly, not as funny as it should be.

Swing Kids has a multitude of problems, the most glaring of which is its loose treatment of history and the Nazis.

It's a calculated formula for success, and makes for entertaining viewing, but those expecting something with the spark of the first two pictures may be disappointed.

A cheesy production with underdeveloped characters that feels more like a TV pilot than a self-contained motion picture.

It's only possible to have the time of your life once, and, for this franchise, that was in 1987.

The tone and pacing of Dead Man Down have a distinctly European flavor, which may explain why American viewers, used to having background and exposition pared down and cleanly delivered, may feel adrift at the outset.

This is sit-com level material and, as such, there’s not much new or interesting that De Niro can bring to the proceedings.

Clash of the Titans is a flawed but mildly entertaining regurgitation of Greek mythological elements, but it's also an example of how poorly executed 3D can hamstring a would-be spectacle.

For a while, the movie looks like it’s going to go dark but then chickens out and leaves the viewer with a palpable sense of dissatisfaction.

Even as a mindless diversion, it's weak.

Having funny lines and amusing gags is only half the battle. The rest is in the delivery, and that's where the trio of Martin, Latifah, and Levy excel.

Director Scott Waugh’s intention may have been to elevate my pulse, but the only thing at which he succeeded was getting me to check my watch repeatedly.

Designed for and targeted at prepubescent girls, the holiday-themed fantasy adventure drowns in CGI, underdeveloped characters, and a plot utterly devoid of energy and excitement.

Most of the laughs are unintentional, but the result is absurd and laughable.

Cloying and at times annoying, Life as We Know It is egregiously manipulative, whoring itself out for a few unearned tears.

For 60 minutes, the movie appears to have found the right tone and approach, then everything goes wrong. It's rare to see a production that starts so strongly finish so weakly.

By any standards, Silk is a bad movie: pretentious, stillborn, devoid of emotion.

In the end, I was more letdown by the movie’s inability to draw me in than impressed by its offbeat premise.

This movie isn't bad just because it follows a formula slavishly but because it does so without verve or passion.

This is far from the worst horror movie I have seen. In fact, it’s not even the worst Exorcist movie. No, it’s not scary. It lacks suspense and tension. But the first hour isn’t half-bad and there are isolated moments when Green seems to be onto something.

Although Paul Blart is by no means great cinema, there is amusement to be uncovered as we watch Kevin James bumble his way through actions oh-so-similar to those navigated with more blood, sweat, profanity, and dead bodies than Willis. Too bad there's no "Yippekayay...."

I suppose it’s possible to argue that The Darkest Minds can be enjoyed for what it is. Unfortunately, that “what” refers to something incomplete.

Nevertheless, given Washington's presence and the promise of a virtual reality action story, Virtuosity has some appeal -- provided, of course, the viewers aren't selective.

The movie wallows in remorse. Not only is the main character paralyzed by it but the filmmakers seem to believe that every Caucasian member of the audience should face up to White Guilt for the way in which the Industrial World has encouraged unrest in Africa so resources could be strip-mined. How's that for an uplifting action movie premise?

This is one of those nearly unwatchable movies that becomes an endurance contest for any thinking adult.

A huge disappointment -- the kind of motion picture that makes you actively angry at the filmmaker for subjecting you to it and stealing two hours of your life.

Hitchcock does a masterful job blending all of Vertigo's diverse elements together. It's a love story, a mystery, and a thriller all rolled into one. It deals with issues of obsession, psychological and physical paralysis, and the tenuous nature of romantic love. Vertigo should really be seen more than once to be fully appreciated. Many of the darker, deeper aspects only begin to bubble to the surface on subsequent viewings. [Restored version]

The Other Woman ignores dozens of potentially edgy possibilities to tell the most banal story imaginable - and to do it badly.

A clumsy motion picture that strives so hard for the perfect romantic ending that it triggers a gag reflex along the way.

The Sitter is sort of an "Adventures in Babysitting" with a potty mouth.

Tammy is a road trip movie and, like many road trip movies, it embraces a meandering, aimless tone. It's often said for films of this sort that it's the journey that matters, not the destination. Unfortunately, in this case, neither is worth the price of admission.

Aside from the inept "August Rush," there probably isn't a more clumsily manipulative motion picture out there this holiday season than P.S. I Love You.

It’s fast paced but goes nowhere new and the film’s “bigness” makes it hard to remember what an amazingly unexpected treasure The Curse of the Black Pearl was.

here’s a dissonance between the film’s darker subjects and its seeming desire to offer something uplifting at the end. The coda feels dishonest and makes it as difficult to root for the film’s success as it does for the main character.

When compared to the recent influx of musical biopics, this one sits somewhere in the middle; there is too little depth to elevate it to the top, but the soundtrack is too strong to let it sink to the bottom.

The fact that Reign of Fire does what it sets out to do is a cause for celebration amongst those who like special effects-laden action movies featuring fire-breathing monsters and mayhem.

The only thing of interest is the zany, over-the-top and against-type performance by Dennis Quaid, who shows what happens when “ruggedly handsome” gets an infusion of a diabolical Dirty Harry.

Quickly causes viewers to lose patience, then interest.

The Lucky One delivers what's expected from it: a heartfelt romantic melodrama with attractive actors in the lead roles; gauzy, moody photography; a saccharine score; and all the heat that a PG-13 production can muster.

This is a rare time when young ones will get more out of a Sandler movie than their parents, who may have grown up with him when he was on "Saturday Night Live."

After the Sunset is a mess, but it's a breezy, fun mess.

Those who like stale, formula-driven comedies with sickeningly-sweet happy endings, not to mention unbelievably-contrived plots, will find Sister Act 2 an example of good entertainment.

Like Nicolas Winding Refn with The Neon Demon, Tipping approaches it all with deadly seriousness, convinced he’s delivering a profound statement when in reality he’s just serving up an overwrought, futile mess.

The quality of the writing is more than a notch below that of our show. Most of the jokes aren't as witty, and the laughs come less frequently. Maybe it's because so many of the things they do in the movie are lifted directly from the show, but a lot of stuff seems stale.

The short running length is a benefit because it means that Mile 22 doesn’t stick around long enough to wear out its welcome – a too-often evident problem in films of this sort.

The film delivers with enough consistency to warrant a qualified recommendation for those seeking a few extra scares at this time of the year.

The movie voids a lot of good will with a cheesy ending. This is just the kind of denouement I was hoping Taking Lives wouldn't sink to, yet it does.

Too often, it simply makes no sense.

It's a little too low-key to be an effective romance and a little too soft to be anything more ambitious. Ultimately, it's neither offensive nor horrible; it's just another unspectacular, uninspired entry on Nora Ephron's erratic resume.

If nothing else, Entourage (the movie) can be considered a faithful follow-up to Entourage (the TV program). That's good news for anyone who enjoyed the series up to the end and not-so-good news for those who lost interest along the way or never were interested in the first place.

The best one-liners, like the best fight scenes, are reserved for Schwarzenegger. It's too soon to tell whether Terminator Genisys will have a catch phrase like "I'll be back" or "Hasta la vista, baby" but there are several candidates. Much of the film's comedy results from The Terminator's failed attempts to emulate human behavior.

Little of the film is new or innovative and, although director Ang Lee can boast some interesting choreography with one of the fight scenes (something involving the use of a motorcycle as a martial arts weapon), his inventiveness doesn’t extend to the tired storyline, which feels like recycled pulp material.

It's hard to imagine anyone having the patience to sit through this movie except perhaps a handful of 11-year old boys seeking vicarious wish fulfillment.

This lame animated fable, despite having "direct-to-video" written all over it, was released by Disney, in an act of unparalleled greed and desperation, into multiplexes.

The only thing as bad as bad comedy is bad action. Bad Boys II has plenty of both.

At long last, someone has crafted a worthwhile superhero spoof.

Men in Black International is more than just an afterthought; it’s an unfortunate afterthought. Popular interest has long since evaporated and providing a new paint coat (courtesy of stars Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson) can’t change that foundational fact.

Of the two timelines, the one featuring the teenage Diana is more involving than the one featuring the adult version. Both lead actresses give fine performances, but Thurman has less material to work with.

No Escape is a throwback to an era when movies of this genre were defined by suspense and tension. Dowdle isn't interested in providing a safe harbor for those who want a comfortable way to spend two hours. His vision is edgy and exhausting and, for the most part, his execution breathes life into it, tossing a firecracker into the sleepy post-summer movie doldrums.

An offbeat romantic comedy that almost - but not quite - works. The characters and situations are a little too quirky for their own good.

It has been a long time since I came as close to walking out of a movie as I did with Confessions of a Shopaholic. Not only did I find this production to be irritating, unfunny, and lacking in entertainment value, but I found its underlying slavishness to a culture of consumption to be morally repugnant.

The November Man feels like just about every B-grade spy thriller that has ever been committed to the silver screen.

At best, Gibson’s direction could be considered pedestrian. He fails to generate much tension prior to the climax and the characters never do enough to engage the viewer. The protagonists are bland and the villain lacks charisma.

On autopilot from beginning to end, Lay the Favorite feels like sitcom blown up to big-screen proportions. The laughs aren't raucous or numerous, the character development is sketchy at best, and the insider's perspective on bookies and gambling is superficial.

It's refreshing to find a horror movie interested in more than slashing and gashing.

Laws of Attraction is a standard-issue romantic comedy that's missing a key ingredient: the attraction.

As unlikely as it may sound, 2004 is the year when directors Kevin Smith and Garry Marshall have made virtually the same movie...Nevertheless, it's impossible to deny that Raising Helen is a near clone of "Jersey Girl."

One has the sense that if the level of violence had been ratcheted up a little, Paparazzi might have been more of a guilty pleasure and less of a chore to watch.

Ultimately, as things develop, this becomes less about revenge than it does about escaping a set-up. A successful production of this sort needs to constantly elevate the stakes as it builds suspense. Seeking Justice fails and that failure makes it a dubious movie-going choice best suited to the low expectations of a video release.

At its best, Bad Santa 2 feels like an echo of its predecessor. At its worst, it’s unfunny, crass, and uncomfortable (not in a good way).

12 Rounds is the unholy stepchild of "Die Hard with a Vengeance" and "Speed," starring a man whose lack of range makes Steven Seagal seem nuanced by comparison.

Sliver will surely be among 1993's worst.

When I watch a comedy, I want it either to present endearing characters in fun situations or to make me laugh frequently. BASEketball accomplishes neither objective.

August Rush isn't just a bad movie - it's an aggressively bad movie.

With A Rainy Day in New York, Allen is spinning his wheels – revisiting familiar themes and ideas from other, earlier films that were presented to far better effect the first time around.

This movie only takes a few minutes to crash and burn, but more than an hour and a half to realize it.

The unfortunate ending, which wallows in artifice, is superficial and saccharine, and unworthy of the material that precedes it.

In fact, there are times when this movie feels like the latest installment in the over-milked Home Alone saga.

More bland than bad, And So It Goes is being dumped into a crowded mid-July schedule in the hope that someone tired of noisy blockbusters might see it. The problem is, as antidotes go, this one is most likely to induce sleep as a means of relief.

If you want daring or original, Fools Rush In isn't the movie to see. Like 90% of all romantic comedies, it follows a time-honored formula that allows little room for variation.

The film’s depiction of cataplexy is a reasonable representation considering how it’s being used (sufferers may understandably disagree). It’s too bad that so many of the screenplay’s other elements – like its treatment of basic human emotions – are badly mishandled.

Since the stunts are sub-par and feature considerable computer help, the movie gives the impression that it's trying too hard to be campy and silly.

In general, parodies may not rely overmuch on plot, but they need more in this department than Death to Smoochy possesses.

The Pink Panther is supposed to use humor to uplift. Instead, I departed this movie feeling depressed.

There's enough compelling drama here to overcome elements of artifice. Men, Women & Children feels meaningful although perhaps not profound.

Enough things in Crossing Over work to keep the film from becoming a bore, but this is a definite step down from Kramer's past efforts, "The Cooler" and "Running Scared."

An amateurish effort that boasts direct-to-video characteristics, the latest version disappoints in almost every production aspect.

Dominion argues that not even the return of three beloved characters can rescue a franchise that has fallen and can’t get up.

There is no truth to the rumor that free frontal lobotomies will be performed at the entrance to all theaters showing Eagle Eye.

Nearly every role is miscast, which is rather amazing. Christoph Waltz and Judi Dench (as an abbess) are perhaps the exceptions.

Here’s a rare example of a Netflix prestige film that neither runs too long nor overstays its welcome. While some of the A-list directors working for the streaming distributor have taken the opportunity to meander and add bloat to otherwise worthwhile projects, Ron Howard has developed this project exactly as he would have made it if it had been intended for a traditional release.

Unlike most comedies, the jokes succeed more often than they fail, except perhaps during the concluding fifteen minutes, when the movie runs out of gas.

Take away the film's attitude, and you're left with "Son of Van Helsing."

The movie mandates complete gullibility and vacuous attention in order to work on any level.

A plot that insults, betrays, and cheats every member of the audience. Stupidity to a degree can sometimes be forgiven. Stupidity to this degree can not and should not.

It’s generic but not so bad that it becomes unwatchable.

The performances, excepting perhaps Olivia Wilde's odd turn, are solid, and the central story never loses our attention, but there's a lingering aftertaste of vague dissatisfaction.

A prefabricated example of shoddy workmanship.

This movie was made to be shown to junior high history classes, not audiences in a movie theater.

From the start, it's obvious that this is a vehicle for his comedy, and it mostly works -- for about ten to fifteen minutes. After that, Carrey's act gradually grows less humorous and more tiresome, and the laughter in the audience seems forced.

Striptease is a curious mix of eroticism, comedy, and drama that, instead of blending into a pleasing whole, has a tendency to separate and curdle.

Trespass is a home invasion movie, but not a clever, taut one; it's sloppy and obvious, with curves so un-serpentine they might as well be straightaways.

When a movie wants to be sold as a spectacle, it had better deliver something more spectacular than this.

It's amazing how boring an action movie can be when there's absolutely no point to all of the sound and fury.

This isn't as much a movie as it is a recipe for a cinematic casserole in which the ingredients are clichés and rip-offs.

P2 doesn't crash and burn, but its finale is more generic than what the effective first hour leads us to hope for.

The waterlogged end product is an example of lazy writing and direction with the vague hope that perhaps the involvement of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson will attract viewers.

The biggest flaw can be summed up in a short phrase: lack of excitement. Thrillers are supposed to be crammed with thrills (hence the name), but Anaconda is relatively barren of them.

This is a sit com. An ‘80s-style sit-com. A bad ‘80s-style sit-com.

A hard-to-swallow drama about sibling rivalry, mental illness, and bad therapy. Cobbled together using clichés and contrivances, Brian Shoaf’s feature debut perceives mental illness more as a personality quirk than a sickness and treats it almost as a kind of magical realism.

The best way to sum up Freddy Vs. Jason is: good concept, mediocre execution.

Lacks both a focus and an edge, making it an amorphous mess.

Serenity is a peculiar, niche production with minimal mainstream appeal. It will find its greatest favor with those who value oddball movies that take chances (regardless of whether they work or don’t).

As preposterous wannabe Hitchcockian thrillers go, this one is adequate.

To work, The Professor demands that the viewer believe in Richard and, from about the 15-minute point, I didn’t.

Yes, the film is interesting, but it doesn't work.

One can give Ice Cube props for attitude, but not much more.

For those with a burning curiosity to know how "The Lord of the Rings" as directed by Michael Bay might look, Wrath of the Titans provides an idea. This is epic fantasy for teenage boys as only Hollywood can do it: with plenty of grotesque monsters and big explosions replacing characters and narrative.

Though the story is mostly faithful to the established origin of the character, it's not until the last 15 minutes, when "The William Tell Overture" arrives in its full glory, that this starts to feel a little like The Lone Ranger. But that's too little, too late. And when The Ranger (played here by Armie Hammer) finally shouts "Hi-yo Silver," the moment is spoiled by turning it into a joke.

Amusing in pieces but, taken as a whole, it offers little, and the morality lesson is galling.

Clumsily incorporates elements of "Ghost," "The Sixth Sense," and "Field of Dreams."

Miracle at St. Anna is overlong and poorly focused. It tends to meander, the military context is not well established, and too much time is spent on interaction with underdeveloped secondary characters.

Schumacher doesn't leave an imprint on the film -- it could be the work of any second-rate director.

The result is an atrociously unfunny, unromantic, and unpleasant product.

There's nothing here to appreciate for anyone who isn't a Sandler fan and, unfortunately, too little even for those who have dubbed themselves lifelong supporters.

It may work for those in search of a good cry but as a story of a damaged woman to touch the soul, it misses the mark.

The problem with all of this is that Are You Here is less than two hours long and, to effectively explore issues and themes of this magnitude would require at least a full season of a TV series. So we're left with half-developed characters and quickly sketched relationships.

Those familiar with the novel will undoubtedly agree that reading it is a more satisfying experience than watching this disappointing film. One expects more - much more, in fact - with a cast of this caliber.

My advice is to wait and see this version of The Beverly Hillbillies the same way that you've seen all that's gone before -- on the small screen. And let's hope that when the closing song chimes in with the familiar "Y'all come back now, hear?", it's not a reference to a sequel.

More galling and tedious than funny.

A genial and unremarkable comedy with its share of tepid laughs. It's a significantly weaker offering than its edgier, livelier older brother.

From start to finish, A Life Less Ordinary feels like a group of sometimes amusing, sometimes clever, and sometimes tedious skits forced to fit together.

Asian horror remakes are typically not screened for critics, and Shutter is no exception. The studios know what they have: watered-down, lifeless shells of motion pictures devoid of characters, drama, or anything remotely resembling horror.

Watching Battle Los Angeles is akin to observing someone else play a video game with top-notch production values. For a while, it's fun, but immersion is born of involvement.

Considering the hype, it’s a disappointment. It might have been better to populate the movie with three unknowns and spend a little more on the screenplay. You can have The Rock, Wonder Woman, and Deadpool, but it doesn’t mean much if they don’t have clever things to say and meaningful things to do.

Insultingly, Frankenheimer concludes the movie with a short sermon about the fine line that separates man from beast. If the director actually wanted to get this point across, he should have worked it into the film rather than tacking it on as an afterthought. It is, after all, an integral aspect of the source material. That it has been so thoroughly excised from the main plot isn't The Island of Dr. Moreau's only problem, but it's symptomatic of the flawed mindset that went into planning this occasionally incoherent and ultimately disappointing motion picture.

As for the movie itself, it’s not worth much ink. A kluge of bad science and worse science fiction clichés, it tries to be atmospheric and scary but succeeds only at being frustrating and tedious.

If the idea of spending 90 minutes in a movie theater seeing gorgeously rendered versions of a hugely popular gaming world and its characters going through the motions appeals to you, then The Super Mario Galaxy Movie will scratch the itch.

Cutthroat Island is a mindless diversion. If, for whatever reason, you decide to go, maintain low expectations. Hoping for more than a bunch of loud bangs and ridiculous dialogue will rob Cutthroat Island of its amusement value.

At an exceedingly long 135 minutes, the film needs more than what might result from the explosion of a Crayola factory, and Speed Racer has nothing extra to offer - no heart, no excitement, no moments to cherish.

Seven Pounds works better the more the viewer feels and the less he/she thinks. On an emotional level, one could decree that the movie is satisfying. On an intellectual level, it's disappointingly shallow.

Ron Livingstone plays his part relatively straight, and, as a result, comes out unscathed.

Undemanding movie-goers on the lookout for a movie featuring pretty people in a vapid rom-com that might find this movie to their liking. For everyone else, this is decidedly not “all that.”

The movie falls into the category of something a viewer is likely to stick with once sitting there but it lacks anything sufficiently unique or compelling that would make it worth seeking out.

The criss-crossing between drama, thriller, and horror is nothing if not arresting. It is also unsettling.

Where's John McClane when you need him? If nothing else, the main character from the two Die Hard films would have livened up proceedings in this pathetically inept psychological thriller.

The ideas underlying Aeon Flux's plot are the film's strength, and the filmmakers deserve some credit for doing more than paying lip service to them.

It's amazing how a lifeless, pointless remake can provoke pangs of nostalgia about a mediocre movie.

It succeeds in many of the ways a sports movie should, and, by employing a slightly different viewpoint for most of the production, manages a sense of freshness.

With the flat characters and lifeless performances, it's a wonder that anyone in the audience can stay awake all the way through this dull and dreary production.

Disney has struck once again, taking a passably entertaining cartoon and turning it into a motion picture so lifeless that it's almost unwatchable.

Want to see a movie where almost everything takes place on a bus? Try "Speed." Jeepers Creepers 2 isn't even worth a peek.

Effectively paced and nicely choreographed, the fundamental letdown of the ending results in a mild sense of dissatisfaction.

Unfortunately, the final act (the Mexico sequences) illustrate where to take a ghost story if you want to exchange old-fashioned horror for a grilled cheese sandwich.

The Canyons is a sleazy soap opera that fails primarily because it gives us no one to care about and no reason why we should be interested that we don't care.

Although A New Legacy runs at least a half hour too long and generates zero tension with the central “basketball” game, it’s not without its share of small pleasures.

A lame collection of dumber-than-dumb gags, the quality of Big Fat Liar is on par with that of the worst television sit-com gorged to four times its normal size.

It's not just about a disaster, it is a disaster.

Watching a misfire like Thunderbirds illustrates how impressive the "Spy Kids" movies are.

The only thing about Victor Frankenstein worthy of praise is the set design. Visually, the movie is impressive but pretty pictures are better left to postcards.

As a race-against-time, Jason Bourne-inspired adrenaline cocktail, Criminal offers a couple of hours of popcorn-munching entertainment.

LaBute has transformed the eerie, disturbing psychological thriller into an unintentional comedy. At times, The Wicker Man is hilariously bad.

Actually, the more distance the studio places between the two films, the better, because the 1997 production can't hold a candle to the 1973 release, and an attempted comparison only makes the new Bruce Willis/Richard Gere vehicle look worse.

Designed with Underworld fans in mind. Others need not apply.

Two fundamental problems afflict Sex Tape (aside from the fact that it's not consistently funny): a shocking ignorance about the state of modern technology and a mistaken belief that the subject matter is inherently edgy.

Be advised, however, that the idiotic ending doesn’t redeem the uneven middle portion.

The film fulfills its limited mandate of providing fast-paced adventure and some nice eye candy without adding anything memorable to the tale of The Boy Who Can Fly.

Its failure to live up to even modest expectations is a blow. There's nothing righteous to be found here.

Obtuse, narratively incoherent, and ultimately frustrating, it stands as another example of how hard it is to make a good mainstream movie out of a popular computer game.

This is as pure a narrative-based film as one is likely to find; the men and women populating 6 Days exist primarily to move the story along.

The 2011 version of Conan the Barbarian looks cheap and feels rushed. The few good elements are dwarfed by a generic, nonsensical plot and shoddy storytelling.

This is sloppy filmmaking, and it's likely to wipe away whatever luster still remains to Shyamalan's reputation.

It's the Judd Apatow syndrome and there are times when the blend of romance and raunchiness threatens to curdle. In the end, however, the "love conquers all" mentality wins out.

Various subplots are given short shrift and the whole thing feels more like a Cliff's Notes version of a longer piece than an actual finished motion picture.

The Watch is a studio turd marinated in eau de skunk that stinks worse than week-old fish.

Starts out as an effective little horror movie before devolving into an incoherent mess during its final 30 minutes.

The Thirteenth Floor shows what can happen when film makers fail to recognize that they need more than a concept to establish a full-length motion picture.

It's hard to say what is more responsible for the film's utter failure: Hopkins direction, the editing, or the screenplay. The result is such a muddle that one assumes each aspect deserves part of the blame.

Whatever the reason, the waning months of 2014 have brought us the follow-up to 1994's "Dumb and Dumber", but the lengthy gestation period hasn't resulted in an appreciably upgraded experience.

The recycling goes as deep as the dialogue, which is a mangled and blended refrain of clichés.

Sadly, about the nicest thing I can say about What Happens in Vegas is that I didn't hate it - although I suppose that's something.

The breath of fresh air, to the extent that one can be identified in the staleness of this recycled refuse, is John Cleese.

There are a lot of other bad things I could talk about -- the overblown score, the silly portrayal of the police, the bad dialogue, the poor lighting in almost every scene -- but I think it's pretty clear how few virtues Striking Distance has. In fact, one of the movie's few positive aspects is that it's too loud to fall asleep during, which is surely what most people would do if their attention was based on story and character.

Overlong and at times tedious; the taste is gritty and lingers unpleasantly.

I suppose there are reasons to see That Darn Cat, but only if you're under twelve and desperate, or accompanying someone in that category.

I'm almost embarrassed to admit that I liked parts of Bordello of Blood -- it is, after all, a pretty sick motion picture. Alas, the sense of bloody good fun gets stretched too thin. There's not enough material here to sustain the running length, and the film goes through dead patches (most of which occur when Miller isn't on screen). All of the stuff with Chris Sarandon is a waste of time that should have been relegated to the cutting room floor -- except that would have trimmed Bordello of Blood to an unacceptably short sixty minutes or so.

Johnny Mnemonic is brash, flashy, and loud, but it lacks a few key ingredients -- namely heart, soul, and intelligence.

It's a depressing experience to view something like Saw IV. It's not just the soullessness that's dispiriting, but the lack of invention. When a movie does little more than repeat what its predecessors accomplished with grotesque effectiveness, it's past time to tip this corpse into its grave and bury it.

The strength of Push is its relentlessness. The movie doesn't pause for anything and, when it provides exposition, it does so without bringing the action to a grinding halt.

At times dull and plodding and at other times cartoonishly silly, Kin rarely works and, when it does, it’s often for the wrong reasons.

A godawful teen-magnet utterly devoid of entertainment value beyond the lure of its popular, photogenic cast and the dubious attraction of playing the “guess who gets it next” game. The little bit of cleverness that ends the film comes far too late to save this movie.

The problem with The Affair is that once the World War II segments have ended, the movie loses its momentum and ability to balance both sides of the romance.

By cramming far too much material into 114 minutes, The Huntsman: Winter’s War feels rushed and incomplete. It doesn’t help that the screenplay is at times awful, forcing accomplished actors to recite excruciatingly bad dialogue while maintaining a straight face.

On balance, I think I'd rather have seen Rocky 15.

Feels jumbled and disorganized. It's not altogether unpalatable, but that doesn't present it from being a mess.

The promise of an intriguing premise results in expectations that the film, which rarely diverges from the familiar feel of a post-apocalyptic road movie, is unable to capture.

Plastic characters, chaotic camerawork, lots of things blowing up, and an incredibly dumb screenplay. In short, it represents a great time at the movies for anyone who has recently undergone a frontal lobotomy.

The Clone Wars is the last nail in a coffin that has been propped up ever since George Lucas sold his creative soul in the quest for a few more pieces of gold.

To the extent that Venom works, it’s as a comedy not an action/adventure superhero film.

70 minutes into the 90-minute process, I was engaged. Then it all collapsed.

Liman applies the same frenetic approach to action scenes that made "The Bourne Identity" such an engaging and exciting affair.

An unfocused mess, with poor chemistry all around and an ending that's as firm and satisfying as an overcooked noodle.

I didn’t laugh once and the movie’s stylized and satirical tone defused any connection I might have felt for the characters. Perhaps if the proceedings hadn’t dragged on well past the two-hour mark, it wouldn’t have seemed like such a chore to sit through.

The storyline is so infantile that it will appeal to young kids.

Captures the essence of its TV inspiration, which is to say that it's not nearly as clever as it thinks it is. It also feels very, very long.

It is a ghastly experience, and I left the theater feeling as if I had waded neck-deep through a stream of raw sewage.

This film mistakes action for energy, ridiculous circumstances for comedy, and a mismatched male/female pairing for romance.

There's nothing remotely memorable about this walk.

To work, The Host would have required a visionary interpretation rather than the mundane telling that Niccol opts for.

Halloween II is an affront to Halloween and horror fans. It's the kind of cataclysmic misstep from which a franchise cannot recover. It has transformed Michael Myers from an iconic movie monster into a laughingstock.

Half of what's going on is never explained, and what is explained, doesn't make much sense. And that's just the beginning of the problems encountered in director Paul Anderson's ("Mortal Kombat") poorly executed endeavor.

The end result is something that feels like it should have been much better than it is.

Post Grad isn't funny, surprising, or insightful enough to provoke more than a ho-hum reaction. It's not bad in the way that many failed comedies are bad; it's simply uninspired.

There are quite a few unintentionally funny moments, although the overall experience was too intensely painful for me to be able to advocate it as being "so bad, it's good."

Kids will probably love this film but, to be frank, most children aren't that discriminating (apologies to the few who are). There's nothing in the film that's reprehensible (although some may find the concept of a one-hundred five minute commercial for a game offensive in itself), but I find it hard to believe that many adults accompanying their youngsters will be entertained. In general, about the best recommendation I can come up with regarding this movie is to turn on the Nintendo and play a game yourself. You'll have more fun, spend less money, and it will be over a whole lot faster.

This feels a lot like some of the recent, unwatchable Adam Sandler offerings: boorish, unfunny comedy colliding with saccharine, quasi-dramatic filler.

It will bore you.

There's no compelling reason to see Deal. Everything it offers is familiar to the extent where even though it's not a remake, it feels like one.

Morbius is the kind of bland, by-the-numbers origin story that shows comic book movies at their least innovative.

With each death, the film becomes less interesting. By the end, it's just a routine slasher flick with a too-predictable final "twist."

Isn't worth the time, money, or effort. For Stephen King aficionados, it's just the latest cinematic nightmare.

Although the movie has a conventional structure, the straightforward chronological approach works for this material, allowing the viewer to come to know Cabrini and become invested in her efforts to develop an orphanage, first in New York’s Five Points slum then in rural West Park.

A tepid affair, distinguished by bland character development, uninspired and insipid dialogue, and a nonexistent plot.

For a mostly brainless movie, The Expendables 3 has a surprisingly dense plot, which is part of the problem. The 2-hour running length is unnecessarily long.

Would probably have been more enjoyable if Berkowitz was less irritating. As a character, his only redeeming quality is his self-deprecating humor.

The energy is missing in the remake because the techniques, which are replicated in a straightforward fashion, are stale.

Misses the mark.

Instead of being truly awful, it’s simply mediocre, although one could argue that’s the last word a comic book movie wants to have applied to it.

The gore is so badly done that it's borderline comical and poor lighting passes for "atmosphere."

By the end of the film, I was hoping everyone on two legs would die, preferably suffering as much on screen as I was in the audience.

There’s only so far you can take a slasher series without doing something truly off-the-wall. Since the studio refused to attempt a radical refit, we’re left with this: a franchise-charring dumpster fire.

With its cheesy special effects and blasphemously imbecilic storyline, one wonders whether the celluloid version of Ghost Rider will find an audience.

By trying to satisfy every kind of viewer, it's possible that Sphere may end up pleasing no one.

This is probably Murphy's best comedic performance since "Bowfinger." The adrenaline is pumping and the outrageousness is dialed all the way up. Murphy is often funny, and occasionally hilarious.

The Wedding Ringer is imperfect but its imperfections are tolerable because they're accompanied by a dollop of drama, a measure of laughter, and an oversized helping of Kevin Hart.

Sixteen years after her death, Princess Diana is still capable of generating interest, which is probably the only reason why this dull, pointless movie was greenlighted.