The Jimquisition's Scores

  • Games
Select another publication »
For 426 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 33% higher than the average critic
  • 5% same as the average critic
  • 62% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 9 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Game review score: 66
Highest review score: 100 Metal Gear Solid Delta: Snake Eater
Lowest review score: 5 The Last Hope - Dead Zone Survival
Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 208 out of 426
  2. Mixed: 135 out of 426
  3. Negative: 83 out of 426
577 game reviews
view
per page
    • 60 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    Alien: Rogue Incursion Evolved Edition
    It’s got “Part One” slapped onto its title, threatening further installments, and it does feel like a threat. My advice? Cut your losses, and I say that to the developers and paying customers. Play Isolation for scares, play Dark Descent for something buggy but unique, play Fireteam Elite for straightforward (thankfully patched) shooting, but don’t bother with this thing. Following the past few years of Aliens games, for all their flaws and foibles, Rogue Incursion is just sad.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 15 Critic Score
    Code Violet
    The dreadful studio that brought you Quantum Error has delivered a game very much in line with its library of shameless trash. It is legitimately sad that not enough people knew of its lineage before Code Violet benefited from a whole lot of ill-gotten hype.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 30 Critic Score
    MARVEL Cosmic Invasion
    At $29.99, the price is frigging obscene for just how little you get, and how little of that is enjoyable....Marvel Cosmic Invasion is a short, flimsy, and overpriced beat ‘em up that offers so much less than its contemporaries in the genre. Skating by on brand recognition, it’s amazing how tired of it you become despite being able to finish the dire campaign in almost no time at all. The game’s barely done wiping its feet on the mat before outstaying its welcome, and it’s ready to leave soon after. Awful shite.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 20 Critic Score
    Sacred 2 Remaster
    I take no pleasure in admonishing this remaster. Sacred 2 occupies a small but precious space in my heart, and I’m shocked to see how disastrously this has turned out. There’s still fun to be salvaged from the wreckage, but I can’t ignore the fact that Sacred 2: Remaster qualifies as a defective product. I have so many questions about how this came out in the state it’s in, but one query stands above them all.
    • 85 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    ARC Raiders
    Enjoyment can be finely sliced off of ARC Raiders like edible shreds from a doner kebab smeared in shit. That these slivers are entirely dependent on its players is hardly a triumph of the base experience, which is generally boring, flavorless, and lacking much of a point. If not for one intensely fragile hook, this is a sub-mundane peashooting box breacher that, despite a lack of originality or quality gameplay, still needed help from an algorithm.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 45 Critic Score
    Double Dragon Revive
    The word “slop” has recently been overused to the point of death, and that’s a shame, because I’d very much like to call Double Dragon Revive slop. It baffles me how you can put out something this ugly and unenjoyable without attaching an apology to it instead of a price tag, but that's videogames for you.
    • 78 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    Pokemon Legends: Z-A - Nintendo Switch 2 Edition
    If you took out the branding and populated it with generic creatures instead of marketable pocket monsters, Pokémon Legends: Z-A would be rightly seen as a sub-mediocre and sloppy RPG, the kind with 115 "mostly negative" user reviews on Steam. Game Freak knows how much grace the public affords Pokémon and has taken the absolute piss with it, churning out a cheap budget game with a premium price, expensive DLC, and a ten buck markup to get a decent framerate...The audacity of this exploitative cash-in is honestly quite disgusting. At least Ekans is in it.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 20 Critic Score
    Tamagotchi Plaza - Nintendo Switch 2 Edition
    I smiled when I first started playing this thing. I was directly controlling Unimarutchi, exploring the world with literally my favorite character, but my smile faded within seconds of realizing what Namco had dared to shovel in front of people and charge for. There’s nothing to explore, nothing to enjoy, just the grinding menial filth of a game that doesn’t give a f.ck.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 20 Critic Score
    MindsEye
    Poorly made and ineptly designed, MindsEye cosplays as an open world game to its own detriment. The lifeless cardboard realm we could generously label a "world" is aggressively closed off, its sandbox appearance nothing more than desperately shallow dressing for a cover shooter so bereft of features it’s bloody embarrassing.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 10 Critic Score
    Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour
    This appalling paid-for tutorial is inexcusably lazy on top of being just plain inexcusable to begin with...The only thing Welcome Tour has welcomed us to a brand new breed of garbageware.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 45 Critic Score
    New World: Aeternum
    I’m so tired of this manipulative garbage. I can't wait to stop being addicted to it.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 35 Critic Score
    Transformers: Galactic Trials
    Transformers: Galactic Trials is overpriced and full of nothing. The gimmick of switching between vehicular racing and robotic shooting might have worked if both halves weren’t so thoughtlessly welded together like a shoddy cut-and-shut car. Then again, its meager content and technical sloppiness suggests it never had a chance...Also I’m still seething at the lack of Starscream.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 10 Critic Score
    Funko Fusion
    Cynical doesn’t even begin to describe such a poisonous display of IP leverage. There’s something actively nasty about the thing. It’s a reminder that creativity is not owned by the creators, it is imprisoned by the least creative among us, those of us who force others to dance but can't carry a tune.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 45 Critic Score
    Concord
    To say there’s a lot to hate about Concord implies it has a lot of anything. While not strictly skeletal in content, it nonetheless offers little of note in a market that’s already saturated with similar games all vying to dominate the finite time of their players. Sony’s delivered the perfect picture of a game nobody was asking for, an impeccable example of the nonessential product. Even if I didn’t hate it, I sure as hell wouldn’t find enough to love.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    DOOM + DOOM II
    It should be nigh impossible to f.ck up releasing Doom at this point, but trust this collection of utter clowns to find not just one, but several ways of doing so. DOOM + DOOM II oozes carelessness and ineptitude all wrapped up in an attitude of apparent contempt. Still, the remixed soundtracks absolutely slap.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 35 Critic Score
    Anomaly Pools
    Anomaly Pools has jumped on the liminal bandwagon with a game best released under the guise of a freebie “experiment” rather than a game that charges too much even at $1.99...Sorry. Having finished critiquing this, I feel like I’ve wasted all our time.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Critic Score
    The First Descendant
    The First Descendant is the last thing I want to play right now, nauseated as I am by how much of a swindle it is. Designed entirely to frustrate and trick money out of players, it gives nothing in return but the same “live service” mundanity that’s soaked the market in an ocean of filth...It’ll probably be dead within a year like so many of its sordid ilk. That would be a genuinely good thing for the industry and for the players it’s trying to scam. I hope it dies on its toxic vine.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    Garten of Banban 4
    With an actual hint of production value, Garten of Banban IV is better, but it’s nowhere near acceptable. The larger environments lead to obscene amounts of backtracking, while the story and scares are as sad as ever. It is every bit the ugly, exploitative commercial its predecessors were.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 10 Critic Score
    Garten of Banban 3
    They say familiarity breeds contempt, and the more time I spend in this series’ dismal world, the more relatable a statement that becomes.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 15 Critic Score
    Garten of Banban 2
    Puzzles are more tedious, scares are more pitiful, and for all its expanded gameplay, this sequel manages to be no better than the last.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 15 Critic Score
    Garten of Banban
    Ugly and threadbare, both mechanically and aesthetically, Garten of Banban has spread its lumpy legs and given birth to one of the most cynically manufactured franchises of all time.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 5 Critic Score
    Star Wars: Hunters
    How f.cking dare Star Wars: Hunters? I really hope it becomes yet another “service” game that’s been shut down in less than a year. It deserves to be burned to nothing.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Critic Score
    Puppet Master: The Game
    Can we turn one of these 80s horror films into something with some substance now? This asymmetrical online shit has clearly reached the barrel’s bottom if this is what we’re getting.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 20 Critic Score
    Sker Ritual
    Terribly balanced, broken in several ways, and barely able to support the online mode it’s pushing, Sker Ritual is a waste of time. If you like Maid of Sker you don’t need this poor follow-up, and if you like COD: Zombies you don’t need this poor facsimile. Nobody and nothing needs Sker Ritual’s bullshit, least of all Sker Ritual.
    • 86 Metascore
    • 30 Critic Score
    Dragon's Dogma 2
    Dragon’s Dogma 2 is outwardly hostile to its audience, embracing everything that made the original such a hassle to enjoy. A game designed with the purpose of wasting a player’s time, which makes Capcom’s “time saver” microtransactions all the more sickening. It’s a glorified xerox that you will adore if you believe Dragon’s Dogma was literally perfect when it released in 2012 and absolutely none of the progress within games development in the past twelve years meant one fucking thing. Indeed, if your idea of a good time is having a terrible time, you’ll love this malignant resurrection of ideas and implementations that should have stayed long dead.
    • 82 Metascore
    • 35 Critic Score
    Helldivers 2
    Helldivers 2 struggles to appeal after stripping out so much of what made its prequel memorable, and if that’s all that was wrong with it I’d be sadly grateful. Miserably, it’s such a wreck of a product that it spends significant amounts of time in a near-unplayable state while the rest of the time is typified by frequent crashes and other technical difficulties. You're supposed to expect a certain level of quality in a Sony-published game, and Helldivers 2 is a reminder that such expectations are naive as all f.ck.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Critic Score
    Gangs of Sherwood
    By selling Gangs of Sherwood, Nacon is robbing from the gullible and giving to the inept. I’d have worked on a better closing analogy, but this game isn’t bloody worth it.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 20 Critic Score
    Jurassic Park: Classic Games Collection
    Jurassic Park Classic Games Collection is really rather sad. It looks and feels cheap, the drought of available options is stark, and the fact they couldn’t even include save states or rewind options without being extremely frugal about it is audacious at the very least. To top it off, all six games - masquerading as seven - are garbage. Pure, utter garbage. Yes, even the ones you remember...Especially the ones you remember.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 30 Critic Score
    The Walking Dead: Destinies
    GameMill Entertainment continues its run of rushed, cheap, utterly contemptuous scam jobs. Yet another game where you can see how the developers at one point hoped to make something good until reality hit them in the face, forcing them to spray some vomit onto storefronts and call it a day...It’s only marginally better than Skull Island: Rise of Kong because I can f.cking laugh at it.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    Skull Island: Rise of Kong
    I’d call Skull Island: Rise of Kong embarrassing, but I’m not sure you can be capable of feeling such an emotion if you’re able to sell this thing. Ultimately, Skull Island is a scam. It’s not even bad in a funny way, it’s just insulting - it’s not been finished, it was roughly stitched into the vague shape of a videogame and given the price tag of a legitimate product...It’s the kind of game that makes the case for some sort of independent trading standards body in the game industry. I say this with all due gravity - The Game Mill should not have been allowed to sell Skull Island: Rise of Kong. In an industry with adequate customer protections, it should be recalled.
prev
Page:

Top Trailers

See all »
See all trailers »