While playing, we began to wonder whether it would be cooler if the bad guys won? We tried joining forces with them, but died each time. Way to be cliquey, guys.

The sequel features even more happy, shiny, Hello Kitty!—style idiocy. But peel away the idiocy, and you'll find the same dull, creatively bankrupt ball-rolling mini-game as the original.

Much of the run-and-gun action is marvelously good but whenever we were just starting to get comfortable with a level or a particular set of weapons, the game was already zipping us off to someplace new.

And speaking of those late stages, don't plan on seeing them. Ever. This game is so controller-bustingly hard that even the one guy in the office who beat "Ninja Gaiden" ended up wetting himself, then shivering in a corner of the Xerox room all afternoon. Which is a real shame, because behind that near-impossible difficulty there's a big, beautiful action game here.

Just like our last girlfriend, the game does a little too much hand-holding for our tastes. And any gamer worth his beans won't be challenged by Sly 3 until the excellent final levels.

Except for the cuts that play during the menu screens, the game features absolutely no music. Now that's hardcore, baby!

Much of the run-and-gun action is marvelously good but whenever we were just starting to get comfortable with a level or a particular set of weapons, the game was already zipping us off to someplace new.

Indeed, the game requires constant shouting into the mike; so you can forget about ever playing this cart on public transporation... unless of course you don't mind being mistaken for an insane person.

Indeed, the game requires constant shouting into the mike; so you can forget about ever playing this cart on public transporation... unless of course you don't mind being mistaken for an insane person.

The long load times and pesky bugs, which vexed Tribes 2, are there to once again wreck havoc on our fun, so you need to download the necessary patches.

Indeed, the game requires constant shouting into the mike; so you can forget about ever playing this cart on public transporation... unless of course you don't mind being mistaken for an insane person.

Much of the run-and-gun action is marvelously good but whenever we were just starting to get comfortable with a level or a particular set of weapons, the game was already zipping us off to someplace new.

Buy with the knowledge that even the multiplayer mode can’t save some environments from growing stale.

Buy with the knowledge that even the multiplayer mode can’t save some environments from growing stale.

Using the various bio-augmentations is a hoot (one makes you invulnerable, another slows down time, etc.) Unfortunately, the developers were damn stingy with the save points, which means you'll be replaying some levels more times than you'd like.

Using the various bio-augmentations is a hoot (one makes you invulnerable, another slows down time, etc.) Unfortunately, the developers were damn stingy with the save points, which means you'll be replaying some levels more times than you'd like.

This edition costs only $30, but you essentially get one game, with a lot of variants, for the money. If you want to go retro, you should pick up "Midway Arcade Treasures" for more 2-D bang for less buck.

The developers have managed to squeeze some extra mileage out of the tired "extreme sports" format with a solid racing engine and a trick/combo that will have you linking more tricks together than a prostitute at Charlie Sheen's Playa's Ball.

Sneaking up on unsuspecting monkeys, cracking them in the head with your stun club, then scooping them up in your net, we confess, is still as much fun as drinking six happy hour-priced banana daiquiris.

There is never a break in the action, and even with the obvious emphasis on ESP, the bullets never stop flying.

There is never a break in the action, and even with the obvious emphasis on ESP, the bullets never stop flying.

The baseball action, even sans the MLB license (it belongs to 2K Sports, now), is still the best in the business.

It gets off to a promising enough start, but then it stumbles, then trips over its own feet, then chokes on its own vomit, then dies a slow, miserable death.

There is never a break in the action, and even with the obvious emphasis on ESP, the bullets never stop flying.

The baseball action, even sans the MLB license (it belongs to 2K Sports, now), is still the best in the business.

While some of the mini-games are curiously compelling—one had us actually blowing into the NDS microphone to snuff out a series of marching candles that were about to set a group of people on fire—there's no reason to ever play it again once the LSD wears off.

The irreverent, goofball sense of humor from the show is intact, which makes up for the sometimes iffy controls.

All in all, it seems like Activision has missed the boat. Instead of going the "Prince of Persia" route, taking a nostalgic title and darkening the action while beefing up the story, Lost Expedition wallows in mediocrity like a large, pink sow that uses words like mediocrity.