It’s unashamedly of the B-movie variety — a quick and easy time-killer.

"Beverly Hills Chihuahua," we owe you an apology. Among talking-dog movies, Marmaduke is the runt of the litter.

Between the carefully trained animals and their computer-animated mouths, the movie doesn't have much room for realism; but the 3-D effects are surprisingly effective, and this playful pic earns a pat on the head.

Nobody escapes unscathed, except, of course, for Sandler, who co-wrote the infantile screenplay.

In a way, Stonewall is proof that the gay community has fully made the transition to the mainstream. It’s now subject to the kind of Hollywood nonsense that was previously reserved for heterosexuals.

This stinker is only good for endless laughs.

There is a lot of sex along the way, but I found very little of it exciting, or even sensual. Madonna never seems to be having any fun, nor do her sexual partners, either in action or when they talk about it later. [15 Jan 1993, p.3E]

Such a sorrowful attempt to resurrect the marketing magic of "Twilight" that it ought to be titled "Career Eclipse."

Sparks would be delighted if this movie were compared to his other story about reunited lovers, but compared to “The Notebook,” The Best of Me is the coffee-stained outline of a sales pitch for sleeping pills.

Weaver is a natural as the imperious Ramona, but the rest of the cast is flattened by the script, particularly White, who is just window-dressing in a movie that could use the rude humor she's displayed elsewhere.

Return to the Blue Lagoon is just a lamer rehash of the 1980 movie, which starred Brooke Shields and Christopher Atkins. And that ''classic'' actually was just a remake of the 1949 Jean Simmons version. Except that in the latest sequel, there isn't even the dopey innocence that was present in the Shields-Atkins saga. It's just dopey. [06 Aug 1991, p.4D]

To paraphrase a classic of Reagan-era cinema, A Good Day to Die Hard is a bad day to stop sniffing glue.

SHAQUILLE O'NEAL: Don't give up your day job. After a lackluster outing as a genie in "Shazam," the LA Lakers star does little to put any shine on "Steel," a movie that draws its laughs from lots of rock-em-sock-em pyrotechnics and comic book visuals.[15 Aug 1997, p.3E]

It’s nearly tragic to see America’s Greatest Living Actor on the guest list for The Big Wedding, the latest limp comedy about seniors behaving badly.

The best that can be said for this film is that it’s short.

Mired in phoniness up to its neck. And above that, there's nothing.

Long before you’ve gotten a nickel’s worth of entertainment out of this dumb, unfunny flick, you’ll be wishing for the flashing sign that says “Game over.”

The movie is going to make a lot of people mad, too - the ones who liked the book. If you missed Tom Wolfe's scathingly satirical best seller about the greedy society of the 1980s, you will probably find yourself bored by the tepid, badly miscast screen version. You may leave the theater a little confused as to why there was so much controversy during the filming of what turns out to be a silly, almost innocuous Hollywood farce. [21 Dec 1990, p.3F]

Despite the best efforts of McCarthy, and a winsome Maya Rudolph as Phil’s 1940s-style secretary, Bubbles, The Happytime Murders is more like the “Boringtime Slog.”

Sex and the City 2 will never be compared to "The Godfather, Part II." But it's everything a fan could want in a sequel.

Given the creator and the cast, "Morgans" is as drearily predictable as a plague of locusts.

This is Bay’s world, and when faced with the end of the world, there’s only one message to be gleaned from this supposed finale of the “Transformers” franchise: The Mack trucks and the muscle cars will outlive us all.

If instead of story and characters, your movie wish list includes projectile vomiting and erection gags, this lump of coal has your name on it.

AS cotton-candy, pap movies go, Look Who's Talking Now! offers plenty of smiles, a few laughs and a terrific pair of talking woofers. Not since Mr. Ed have animals with a verbal attitude been so engaging. [5 Nov 1993, p.10E]

LARGE GROUPS of highly paid Hollywood people spend a great deal of time deciding on titles for new movies. Rarely do they succeed as well as with ''Split Second,'' whose title perfectly describes the length of entertainment in store for the moviegoer. [1 May 1992, p.3G]

Freelance is this incredibly goofy jumble of tones, a movie that doesn’t know what it is or what it wants to be, flailing about as it far overstays its welcome.

Yet if you’re old enough to read this and you find yourself at a screening, try thinking about the munchkins who worked so hard on the psychedelic scenery.

A generally effective revenge thriller. [12 Jan 1996, p.3E]

It's a breezy piece of fluff that moves along rapidly and has a few good twists, the kind of comedy that would have been called a summer movie not too many years ago. It also has Paulina Porizkova, who adds a lot of charm, a winning smile and an adequate delivery in a role that is so implausible as to be ridiculous. But if you look at the actress and don't try to make sense of her actions or her lines, that's enough suspension of disbelief to make Her Alib' almost work. [3 Feb 1989, p.3G]

The message that needs to be posted at the theater door is "No trespassing."

Collateral Beauty is based on a premise so preposterous that the film shouldn’t work. But the illusion of credibility is sustained just well enough to keep things from falling apart.

In Couples Retreat, it's Favreau, not Vaughn, who is wound up, and this vacation comedy goes nowhere.

Perhaps tracking down the folks responsible for this film should be Milo's next assignment.

The sanitized setting and sappy script are so littered with cardboard characters and crass product placements that you'll mourn for the muggers and porno theaters that De Niro cursed in "Taxi Driver."

Mostly "Hoodwinked Too" is playing to young video gamers, with overblown action sequences and slangy 'tude.

Where the original play "La Ronde" was a social satire about the transmission of venereal disease, 30 Beats is a sickly stepchild.

A toxic potion that will put children to sleep and kill his (M. Night Shyamalan) career.

With few exceptions, the dialogue's high point is when it's only dull. [15 Apr 1989, p.4D]

Old Dogs is so oafish, when it tosses us a biscuit, it feels like we've been smacked with a newspaper.

A FEW mildly erotic soft-core sex scenes separated by long stretches of very pretentious, bad dialogue and some travelogue shots of Carnival in Rio: That's about it for Wild Orchid. [25 May 1990, p.6F]

There are good movies to be made about romantic obsession, but the premise doesn't work if the crazy stalker isn't juxtaposed with a sympathetic victim.

This send-up of current horror movies is a go-for-broke hoot, a hot mess of a comedy that doesn’t have a lick of sense. And knowing that going in adds to the often knee-slapping laughs.

Calling it "idiotic" would be unfair to all other idiotic movies. Find a word that combines moronic and malevolent. [14 July 1993, p.3F]

Nothing But Trouble may be the stupidest movie ever made by anybody you ever heard of. [22 Feb 1991, p.3F]

Comedies, in general terms, are easy to evaluate. If you laugh a lot, it's good. If you don't, then it isn't. Well I didn't and it wasn't. [02 Feb 1994, p.6F]