Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close is supposed to promote healing, but as they say in New York: close, but no cigar.

A tamer tale of supernatural shenanigans that is far more appropriate for young children than the sometimes too-scary scenes from J.K. Rowling's stories.

Beaches is worth seeing simply for the production number in which Midler puts her bosom to good use, and watching the buck-toothed, flamingo-haired Mayim Bialik perform as Midler at 11 is so realistic one wonders if magic mirrors have been used.[15 Jan 1989, p.6C]

For anyone expecting the second coming of Clouseau, Johnny English Reborn is a karmic catastrophe.

The film makes a few starts in many directions but doesn't go very far in any, and that's disappointing to those of us who thought so much of Soderbergh's previous effort. Oh, well, everyone's entitled to a clunker now and then. [7 Feb. 1992, p.3F]

If all you want from a movie are generous doses of laughs and some tender moments, She's Out Of My League should be right up your alley.

Alba is a showstopper in a fringed cowgirl outfit. But nine years wiser, we know that pretty things aren’t always worth killing for.

A bit slow to get started, and it's nowhere near as funny as "The Hangover." But it'll make you smile.

The settings and supporting roles suggest that If I Stay started out as someone’s passion project, but the final product only requires its star to sleepwalk through buckets of schlock.

The movie version of Fifty Shades is better than the book. It's still awful, but when a filmmaker starts with stupid source material, he's handcuffed.

This is a movie that Holden would have skipped.

THIS odd, anachronistic movie is the story of a couple of white guys (Val Kilmer and Michael Douglas) messing around in 19th-century Africa, and a couple of lions who want to eat them. I kept rooting for the lions. The Ghost and The Darkness is not a bad movie, and the scenes with the lions are fearsome. But it is so old-fashioned in its view of British Colonial Africa that you keep expecting Stewart Granger to wander in out of "King Solomon's Mines" (1950). [11 Oct 1996, p.3E]

An action comedy that works. But it’s also a surprisingly poignant romance. This is the summer flick you’ve been waiting for.

With its nonsensical, confounding story, it might not be for anyone, even if its heart is in the right place.

This droll, leisurely paced movie might alternately be titled "The Only Good Man in Africa." [09 Sep 1994, p.3F]

Unfortunately, not only was I disappointed with the lackluster animation, but I was also bored with the flatness of the characters and story. And if that wasn't enough to throw cold water on warm cartoon memories, screenwriter Dennis Marks forces the audience to listen to a bunch of forgettable, bubble gum tunes by Tiffany, who plays the voice of the Jetsons' daughter, Judy. [12 July 1990, p.6E]

Decent performances from Emilio Estevez and Denis Leary can't rescue this movie from its weak screenplay and predictable story. [21 Oct 1993, p.7G]

Working from a screenplay that he co-wrote with McCarthy, director Ben Falcone (who happens to be her husband) keeps things moving but without much of a spark.

As phony as a poodle-skirted waitress at a mall diner, yet it's as sweet as a malt. A vanilla one.

For sheer waste of talent, if not money, The Burbs deserves to be ranked with Ishtar. A routine slapstick comedy with no cutting edge, and not nearly enough laughs. [21 Feb 1989, p.6D]

In telling a true story about hapless thugs who are the embodiment of Michael Bay fans, the director has made the most fiendishly enjoyable movie of his career.

Kids between the ages of 5 and 10 probably will enjoy this one, and there isn't much (some mild bathroom humor) that parents will find terribly objectionable, except its stupidity. [12 Aug 1994, p.3H]

More damaging is Lurie's conspicuous "red state" rant, as he makes sure that every prominent guy in this film - save for the screenwriter and the black sheriff - fits all of the Southern stereotypes. That doesn't make it a bad movie, just one that is something less than Peckinpah's original.

A textured and unexpectedly entertaining drama about the human toll when racial assumptions crash.

JOE VERSUS the Volcano starts out like a house afire and simmers along quite adequately until about two-thirds of the way through, when it begins running out of fuel. From there, it sputters fitfully and dies at the end. Despite the problems in the third act, this comic fable is, on the whole, quite enjoyable. [9 Mar 1990, p.3F]

There's nothing cinematic about this turgid tearjerker except the slumming presence of movie star Harrison Ford.

The Good Son is cheaply manipulative in a way that can make you angry. [24 Sep 1993, p.3EV]

This is a generic, uninspired and mind-bogglingly boring comic-book movie that’s out to steal your money and time.

Twilight fans who have followed the series will want to see "Breaking Dawn," and like Bella and Edward may find brief moments of pleasure.

The few Jewish characters are cartoonishly evil, but even the Palestinians are sketchily dramatized or, in the case of a terrorist, clumsily legitimized.

On Stranger Tides has the fishy smell of something washed ashore and sold as new. But this shipwreck isn't worth a wooden doubloon.

In addition to starring, Jolie Pitt wrote and directed By the Sea. She has given herself relatively little dialogue, but stuck her husband with lines like “Stop acting like this!” and “You resist happiness!”

A movie with no surprises at all, a streamlined chase flick that is running on the fumes from recycled fuel.

Like the middle-aged dads in this flaccid fiasco, Hall Pass is a decade behind the curve of what's happening.

One can’t help but feel that the man himself — grill and all — is so much more fascinating than this rote representation.

The zombie scenes are startling, but only PG-13 horrifying. That will probably be just fine with most Jane Austen fans.

Initially, the puzzle structure and a pair of Oscar-winning actresses distract us from the dark vacuum at the center of this enterprise, but when it implodes, it doesn't reverberate.

Director Susan Seidelman becomes heavy-handed on occasion, but mostly the comedy works to perfection. [10 Dec 1989, p.7DZ]

For the rest of his life, Spencer Susser can brag to the other ditch diggers that he persuaded two of the best young actors in Hollywood to star in one of the worst movies ever made.

If Midler weren't involved, and if she weren't surrounded by a good ensemble, the whole enterprise probably would fall into a watery grave. But Midler carries off the role. [2 Feb 1990, p.5F]

Clearly, this is a star vehicle — and the eminently likable Johnson is unquestionably a star. Through sheer force of personality, he elevates Rampage into something reasonably entertaining.

If your inner amphibian craves a wave, you have the right kind of brain to appreciate the elemental story and scenic backdrops. But advanced mammals might smell something fishy.

It’s too cheesy and predictable to be a real miracle, but by Vegas standards, it’s a winner.

Jim Belushi can be a pretty funny guy, but this time he should have heeded the old show-biz warning about staying away from animal actors. [02 May 1989, p.4D]

The more suitably antic Robert Downey Jr. and Johnny Depp were considered for the part before Franco wandered into the picture with his stoner grin.

Nothing more than uninspired mushiness.

’Round these parts, when a movie promises a million laughs but only delivers a dozen chuckles, that’s a hanging offense.

Warlock is one of those awful movies that serves a purpose: On a rainy day it's a way to keep dry, and most of the film is so dark that it's easy to nod off during the duller parts. [06 Mar 1991, p.5E]

Hill fans - and I'm one - should find Last Man Standing intriguing, but it's certainly not among his top four or five works. [20 Sep 1996, p.3E]

It’s downright depressing to see Oscar winners Hunt and Hurt struggling to make something meaningful out of their superficially written characters.

May be one of the most fun-free, angst-ridden teens we've seen on the big screen in a long time.

Tickets to Pacific Rim Uprising should come with a package of aspirin.

Parillaud is a pretty good actress, handling a comic line with aplomb and displaying a proper amount of je ne sais quoi. The movie, on the other hand, is overdone, overblown, overlong and last but certainly not least, over-gory. Michael Wolk's screenplay and John Landis' direction belabor the obvious and the bloody to the exclusion of all else. [25 Sept 1992, p.3F]

Sitting through A Good Old Fashioned Orgy is like being monopolized by the most irritating person at a really boring party.

It requires a mild suspension of disbelief to accept that slacker David would suddenly intervene in so many lives, pretending to be a good Samaritan.

Plays as if Tillman studied the works of director Michael Mann ("Heat"), but got a C on the final exam.

Not a great comedy, or even, much of the time, a very good one, but the few belly laughs and the relationship between the two stars make it worth seeing. [16 May 1989, p.4D]

Not all of it makes sense, but for disaster movie fans, Into the Storm has enough destruction to go around.

The problem with Mel Brooks these days is the same one Woody Allen would have if he kept making Bananas over and over. [30 July 1993, p.3F]

We're the Millers is nothing but stems and seeds, with less buzz than a bag of oregano.

Winona Ryder, who stars as brooding teen Dinky Bossetti, is the one good thing about ''Roxy.'' She has talent enough to transcend the script: I actually cared about the ending, when Dinky finds out whether Roxy Carmichael is her real mother. If only getting there had been more fun. [18 Oct 1990, p.6E]

It's clear that Phillips is betting heavily on funnymen Jeong and Galifianakis to hide his creative bankruptcy.

As potential blockbusters go, Batman v Superman is neither as stupid nor as stupendous as it might have been.

Although the ratio of comedy to drama becomes increasingly weighted toward tearjerking, few of the emotional moments are realistic or effective.

There are some laughs in The Bronze, but more time in which we might wish it would end already. When it does, just like on Hallmark, lessons are learned. Perhaps for Rauch, the lesson is to write herself a better movie next time.

Whether you're betting on action or laughs, this is a lose-lose scenario.

The geography and some of the coincidences are as baffling as the messaging. The 96-minute runtime feels cyclical and endless.

The movie goes on a little too long, partly because of one of those we're-not-finished-yet second endings that seem obligatory these days. But, as mindless comedy, the movie is highly entertaining. [10 June 1994, p.3H]

A bland family-feud potboiler with no sign of the cook.

This amiable, poky one-joke movie - Bill Murray is saddled with an elephant - gets brief jolts of comic energy when Matthew McConaughey shows up as a manic truck driver. Otherwise, it's got a few laughs, and could use a few more. [02 Nov 1996, p.51]

"Star Trek V'' begins and ends well, but is something of a muddle in the middle. [9 June 1989]

The special effects and especially the 3-D are top-notch.

A well-made, strong three-generation saga that deals with a number of interesting - and sometimes uncomfortable - topics. [27 Oct 1989, p.3F]

Taken as mindless entertainment, "Chain Reaction" is a cut or two below "Independence Day" and a couple of cuts above "Fled." It's a little better than "Eraser," not as good as "The Rock." [2 Aug 1996, p.3E]

The movie would have been slightly better if the relationship had remained one of professional respect and personal friendship. But that would not have solved the problem with the movie's pace and suspense. Action-adventure movies should have, well, action and adventure. [12 Feb 1992, p.4F]

Mainstream audiences will note that Hudson has never been better and that the tearjerking taps into something universal. For audiences seeking shelter from superhero carnage, Wish I Was Here is a lovely place to be.

The richly constructed first hour is so superior to any feat of sci-fi speculation since "Minority Report" that the bland aftertaste of the chase finale is quickly forgotten.

Falls into that middling ground of horror film: neither scary enough to be exciting nor campy enough to be amusing.

Fulfills its mission, which is to be a crowd-pleasing tearjerker.

A SURPRISING number of good, long, serious, thought-provoking movies have opened in the past few weeks. This isn't one of them. But if you're looking for a break from heavy fare, this fluffy serving of junk food might be just right. [12 Nov 1993]

Needful Things is the best Stephen King movie in years. It is, in a sense, a black comedy, but you have to be a little sick to laugh. I laughed. [27 Aug 1993, p.3F]

Reilly is very funny as the sarcastic mentor, and director Paul Weitz strikes a loopy tone in the scenes at the freak encampment.

A splendid murder mystery, but one with as much gore and steamy sex as I've seen in a long time. [20 Mar 1992, p.3F]

If you'd pay to see a film called "Hotel Rwanda: Maniac Manager," you might be receptive to this mixed-message movie, but skeptics should keep one eye on the exit.

Anyone who has ever loved or said goodbye to a pet will be able to relate to this heartfelt story, adapted by Cathryn Michon from a best-selling novel by W. Bruce Cameron. Director Lasse Hallström uses real animals and limited CGI, so the actors’ interactions with the pets are believable.

Has a welcome message of personal growth and racial tolerance. And it's ably made, with evocative Memphis locations. But in the final sermon, it proffers some plot twists that are supposed to be miraculous but may strike a doubting Thomas as lame.

In the end, audiences will be neither shaken nor stirred. Just bored and confused.

Young kids will like this movie but pre-teens and older will recognize it as a Free Willy ripoff. [17 May 1996, p.3E]

This party is a dud.

Once we've quickly digested the fortune-cookie message that modern women are as bound by obligations as their grandmothers were, all we can savor is the scenery.

Yet so much about The Lovely Bones is so skillfully orchestrated, from the chillingly methodical villainy to the thrillingly paced manhunt, we can accept that we're in the hands of a higher power.

There is such a thing as an infinitely bad movie, and this is it.

Even after all the problems are discussed, a de Palma thriller at less than full speed is as good or better than most directors can turn out with their foot to the floor. [11 Aug 1992, p.4D]

While the cast is filled with award winners, writer-director Daniel Barnz is a dunce who can't construct an argument without employing flimsy logic and cardboard characters.

An ambitious movie, but ultimately there’s too much “artificial” and not enough “intelligence.”

As a critic who complains about painless and brainless action movies, I hoist a glass of mead to the men and maidens of Ironclad.

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