A case of ho-hum humping leading to boring betrayal. The ingredients are predictable and the snail's pace is punishing. [26 Oct 1990, Daily Datebook, p.E3]

Has many grotesque sex scenes, interspersed with sights of Chong rambling in a dissociated way as she sits in her squalid apartment.

It's a ho-hum-er, almost a complete bummer. [6 Jan 1989, Daily Datebook, p.E1]

Damsel is a misguided exercise, a 113-minute mistake and a waste of time, but it does have a good opening.

Director Q. Allan Brocka loads up the screen with eye-candy for every preference -- no one keeps a shirt on for long. Think Skinemax with a gay twist. But his script overdoses on pop culture references and bitchy wisecracks that his trying-too-hard cast can't quite pull off.

All the movie's narrative gymnastics can't disguise the fact that it's inauthentic at its core and that its story just isn't worth telling.

The jump gimmick sounds as if it might make a cute romantic movie. But If Lucy Fell has so little meat that it plays like a television sitcom that somehow grew into a feature-length movie. It's airy, fluffy and ultimately uninteresting.

A mess.

It isn't simple bad taste that Formula 51 deals in, but a total vacuum of feeling.

Harmon proves that he can act stupid, and that's not enough to make the movie funny… You're supposed to like Freddy (Harmon), and you're supposed to like his brainless students… But you hate everybody. [24 July 1987]

Hernandez's debut feature is a thuddingly slow, often wordless portrait of emotional pain.

Highlander: The Final Dimension is no more compelling than the average pile of bricks.

Numbskull entertainment.

Jackpot! involves a fight to the finish between the abundant charisma and likability of leads Awkwafina and John Cena and the impossible material they were given. The actors lose, because nobody could survive so many jokes based on groin kicks and bathroom humor or a movie premise as lacking in context as it is sky-high in concept.

Extremely boring.

It is a mess of a film, botched but also misconceived, with a central performance by Natalie Portman that evokes nothing about Jackie Kennedy, beyond the stylish clothes and the secret smoking.

There are six standard types of violence in film these days: Tarantino, comic book, Scorsese, martial arts, horror and stupid. For stupid, look no further than Centurion.

Someone should steal this concept and make a decent movie out of it.

In essence, everything good in Self/less was derived from “Seconds,” and everything bad the writers and the director came up with on their own.

The filmmakers offer very few clues, just more aqua filters and low-contrast visuals. And with each new jarring edit, the viewer cares less and less, until the 100 minutes seem to stretch on forever.

None of it works, except for some moody cinematography, the on-screen charisma of lead actor Brad Pitt, moussed to the max as Johnny Suede, and the sheer likability of a few of his co-stars. [05 Feb 1993]

A frustrating movie, a work of immaturity from a director who should be past the empty gestures and self-protective distance of his early work.

Annoying, soporific and singularly humorless.

A movie like this depends on clever bits and incidents, but there's little invention here to disguise the film's formulaic nature.

It’s a clinical product crafted on the assembly line of the studio floor with pieces plucked liberally from better movies before it, and crammed so thoroughly with sight gags and wordplay it hopes you won’t notice that there’s no “there” there.

The movie suffers from two fatal ailments -- a dearth of vitality and a story that's shapeless and uninflected.

The bottom line is that the filmmakers are working with nothing here — no characters to speak of, no interpersonal relationships, no story with any suspense or capacity to engage, and no script with any humor or wit. What can they do?

Overall, A Goofy Movie is an incoherent mess that jumps from one unlikely, brainless, crash-bang situation to another, with each element of a protracted father-son bonding story increasingly out of synch with the others.