It may be mindless and sexless and humorless, but Jumper jumps.

Sets up a situation so weird, it's almost weirder that Rob Reiner directs it as a cookie-cutter romantic comedy.

Revenge of the Fallen almost feels like it's signaling an end-game for blockbuster movies: all sensation, no content, catastrophic expense.

An endearing romantic comedy that pokes fun at the ridiculous things people do for love.

Scooby-Doo is bad. Let's just get that right out of the way. Filled with unclever quips, tired humor, a lazy silliness and bland execution, the picture is a tedious puff of nothing.

Kind of a drag.

With limited means, Westby makes excellent use of Portland locations and cinematic references to make Film Geek a mostly spot-on, sometimes hilarious character study. His greatest asset is Malkasian, who gives Scotty the prototypical geek attributes.

A tepid disappointment that contains one mediocre chase scene and a lot of wasted talent.

The stifling piety of this film -- which regards anything old and vaguely arty as next to sacred -- needs some serious airing out.

There are a few chuckles, a few head-scratches and, thankfully, very few missteps. It charms.

If an eardrum-damaging score and people getting routinely slammed into stone walls at a 100 miles an hour without so much as chipping a tooth is your idea of a good time, then Van Helsing won't disappoint.

It's not confusing, it's just slow. Very slow. Glacial.

Of course, expecting Super Mario Bros. -- a live-action version of the kid-addictive Nintendo game -- to be a complex experience is like looking for Pauly Shore to win appointment to the Supreme Court. Plenty of talented people obviously worked hard on Super Mario Bros. to create something they hope will seem imaginative. But they're all trying to breathe life into a marketing decision. [31 May 1993, p.B04]

The deadly dull action-comedy Identity Thief is an infuriating waste of time, on all sides of camera and screen. I did not know I could yawn angrily. This movie somehow proved it possible.

So often out of control that it becomes absurd and exasperating.

A flawed fable but an intriguing one nonetheless. It's "Splash" gone existential. How many films can you name like that?

Hollow, frequently boring picture.

It's "Ocean's Eleven" for people who can't count past six.

Seeing Hitman isn't like playing a video game or even like watching someone else play a video game. It's like watching someone stupid play a bad video game.

If the plot unfolded in a less formulaic way, this could have been an impressive dark-tinged comedy. But in the end, it's more a case of talented actors trying to find something fresh in a fairly stale tale.

The script is atypically bland for Heckerling.

We're talking mediocre-to-bad. Still, the film has at least two bits that are funnier than anything in many better films and a fair amount of mild amusement in between.

It's a handsome film, but the pace is continually gummy and the set-ups stiff and artificial. Most crucially, nothing in it vanquishes the sensation that we're being sold something superfluous -- like a service contract for a carton of eggs.

The special effects and stunts are marvelous, but director Geoff Murphy (``Young Guns II)'' gets only perfunctory acting. No room for nuance at a fast trot. Even the fastest pace gets monotonous when nothing else is happening. 'Round and 'round and 'round they go, getting nowhere but making great time. [20 Jan 1982, p.C06]

Once goateed, acerbic Kingsley vanishes from the screen, he takes any smidgen of life with him.

Dazzling to look at but dreadful to listen to, the film is a tug-of-war of coolness and dreck.

A terrible, terrible movie. Its creators have a swell idea at the core, a wonderful leading lady, and several stalwart comic players in support, and they make of all of that a picture with the wit of an armpit fart, the verve of a boxwood shrub, and the appeal of a long night in an ER waiting room.

Suffers from sludgy pacing, flat writing and acting, and a strange and puzzling fondness for scatology and coarse language.