The only steering you'll be doing is steering clear. [Feb 2008, p.113]

Pointless in the xtreme, unless you're interested in war game archaeoogy. [July 2005, p.97]

A cumbersome and confusing affair. Order a full retreat. [June 2006, p.86]

It's almost as if not enough time has been spent on either this or the Combat Upgrade, making it impossible to accept RoTW as it stands. [July 2005, p.95]

The driving model is so bad, it makes you wonder if anyone involved has ever been in a car. [Sept 2008, p.117]

More boring than watching gravel. [July 2006, p.102]

Quotation forthcoming. [Jan 2008]

Quickly repetitive actin, with ultra-violence that soon becomes mundane. [March 2005, p.100]

Generic online gaming with a single, barely attainable good idea. [Christmas 2006, p.100]

Eragon bored me almost to tears, and the limp plot utterly failed to keep me pushing on through the pain barrier. [Feb 2007, p.68]

Predictably poor. Proof that every gaming franchise has its limits.

Appealing alterna-stealth undone by trying to be all things to all men. Specifically, the sexually frustrated teenage ones. [July 2009, p.93]

You're left with Commodore-era finger bruises and PS2-quality graphics, and you don't even get the full complement of Olympic sports. Rubbish. [Christmas 2004, p.122]

Perfect for people who hate helicopters and simulations. [Dec 2004, p.104]

Ridiculously fast, under-developed and frustrating to control. [Christmas 2004, p.119]

The frustration of RTS interrupting RPG is maddening beyond belief, but you won't understand what's going on anyway, so it's not worth the worry. [Christmas 2005, p.102]

Web of Shadows aims for a sandbox GTA-style open environment, but has neither the verve, nor the technical ability to pull it off. [Jan 2009, p.101]

A textbook - not to mention chastening - exercise in making something inherently fun no fun whatsoever. [Sept 2007, p.60]

A waste of time for all involved, go watch paint dry instead. [Aug 2005, p.97]

Messy, clumsy, and deeply unsatisfying beat-'em-up combat. Surpised? Catwoman is a poorly made tie-in game for a rubbish movie. Someone find me a bag and a brick. [Oct 2004, p.96]

Five years ago it might have been average. [June 2009, p.100]

With too much emphasis on the factory insteady of the beauty, this is a game that really is skin-deep. [Sept 2008, p.117]

Dull, dated, and deeply dim-witted. Let's snore together. [Dec 2004, p.104]

Basically it's not a game, it's still just a tech demo, and a pretty unsuccessful one at that. [July 2007, p.64]

Yet another unnecessary and unwarranted poker game. Avoid. [May 2007, p.69]

An Xbox port that looks a little green around the gills. [Sept 2006, p.99]

As an alternative to "The Sims," only the abundance of nipples saves it. [Apr 2005, p.104]

It barely raises a smile, reducing most gamers to a grim comatose zomebie-state, the only sign a life now a dull flicker of hate in their glazed, cold eyes. [Christmas 2004, p.107]

It's an awkward strategy game that tries to step out of the turn-based frying pan and ends up in the unplayable-pap fire. [May 2006]

It wasn't fun. [Jan 2010, p.93]

A perfect storm of cynical derivative design and slipshod implementation. [June 2008, p.102]

We can't think of a time throughout the history of the PC when this might have been considered a well-executed title. [Christmas 2006, p.92]

The game boils down to hammering the hit button until all the identikit bad guys have turned red and vanished. It's cack. Avoid. [June 2007, p.64]

Genuinely uninteresting racing. [July 2009, p.94]

On PC, however, it's an utter travesty. You'd have to be crazier than the Rabbids themselves to buy the PC version of this game. [Feb 2007, p.68]

A sim of Arnie’s election campaign would be more entertaining.

Drivel. [Mar 2007, p.76]

Cheap, tired and dull. Avoid it, and the inevitable fourth sequel. [Nov 2004, p.103]

Is there a form I can fill in to get these hours of my life back? [Feb 2010, p.95]

An ugly WW2 RTS. Full of text-based mission intros and no joy whatsoever. The controls are clunky, the unit models are thoroughly basic and utterly devoid of any graphical niceties. [May 2007, p.68]

Fill your house with treacle and grenades instead. That's actually more fun. [Sept 2005, p.102]

Crude and boring. Stick a cork up Larry's ass and his game in the bin. [Christmas 2004, p.120]

The core game itself can't stand alone and captivate its audience as much as it confuses them. [Oct 2007, p.65]

Cheap, tired and dull. Avoid it and the inevitable fourth sequel. [Nov 2004]

A PS2 port, when there's an Xbox 360 version? This is a dreadful example of shameless corner cutting and an awful game. [Aug 2008, p.107]

An awful port of a dismal console game. Buying this would be a crime-in-itself. [July 2005, p.98]

You can't out-Diablo "Diablo," so don't try. [Oct 2005, p.92]

Go buy the book, it'll last longer, give you more joy and won't make you feel like your brain's leaking out of your ears. [Mar 2007, p.76]

Sonic Riders resembles what I can only imagine Keith Richards' worst nightmares are like, but rendered in 1999-qualitiy Playstation-o-vision. What's more, if you have an ATI card, it's framerate is slower than evolution itself. [June 2007, p.64]

If you find your trigger finger itching, you'd better buy yourself a WWII or sci-fi shooter to sate your appetite, because Kuma/War manages to get it very wrong. In every single sense. [Dec 2004, p.101]

Combine all of this with shocking AI, unfair combat and limited ammo, and you're looking at a veritable festival of the mediocre. [June 2005, p.101]

It looks lovely, but plays like an out-of-tune banjo, thanks to the notorious trial-and-error gameplay. [Sept 2006, p.104]

One of the worst adventures I've ever played. [Sept 2008, p.116]

The only thing you'll be smashing if you buy this game is the area surrounding your PC. It really is truly offensive. [Sept 2008, p.114]

It's as much fun as cycling up the wrong side of the M5. [Sept 2008, p.115]

It makes Doom 3 look like a masterpiece. [Christmas 2009, p.94]

Stunningly terrible. [Jan 2008, p.72]

All the thrill of the hunt, without the thrill or hunt. [March 2005, p.113]

There's so much wrong here, from the Matrix rip-off storyline and painful attempts at imitating "Deus Ex," to the lack of textures and dull levels. [July 2006, p.102]

It's hideous. The graphics are atrocious, the controls are ridiculous, and missions consist of running around the blocky levels, firing wildly until random chance results in you killing everybody. [Oct 2004, p.100]

One of the most incompetent strategy games of recent times. [May 2005, p.104]

A huge, horrible, gut-wrenching car crash, with blood-soaked teddy bears. [June 2005, p.100]

Completely and utterly pointless. [July 2010, p.100]

This game is a shameful dismantling of an iconic (though possibly equally shameful) gaming figure. [June 2009, p.101]