It's supposed to be about a Kafkaesque experience. Instead, it IS a Kafkaesque experience. Why are we here? Is everything absurd? Is anyone in charge?

Anchored by the performance of Shu Qi, who has come a long way from her days as a nudie pin-up. She's a first-rate actress.

A cartoonish, unfocused and mostly unfunny satire.

The Sentinel is so bland that it wants only to be as good as TV. Not as good as good TV, like "24." It merely aspires to be the Regis Philbin of D.C. thrillers. It isn't trying to dazzle you with style, complexity or intelligence.

A great-looking but stupefyingly incoherent supernatural thriller adapted from a popular video game that ransacks the entire catalog of horror film tropes for more than two mind-numbing hours.

Showcases a brilliantly realistic performance by Abbie Cornish as Heidi. She's a provocative mix of naivete and ripe, unbridled sexuality.

There are bachelor and bachelorette parties, as well as much misbehavior, in this glossy and unconvincing little flick, receiving a vanity booking on the way to video.

It's easy to understand why so many people have been obsessed with this story for so long. When the paintings are finally found, the story will make a great Hollywood movie.

Movies don't come any more charming than Mongolian Ping Pong.

Arguably as effective as Ambien at inducing sleep, but possible side effects include uncontrollable laughter.

Scary Movie 4 concludes by satirizing Cruise's couch-jumping orgy on "Oprah." Funny, but nowhere near as hilarious as the real thing.

These films take years to produce, so The Wild isn't exactly a ripoff - but it isn't exactly fun, either.

An above-average entry in this niche genre, wherein groups of working-class people band together against adversity.

The prize for most sick-making movie I've ever seen goes to . . . that Driver's Ed film I saw when I was 16. The psychological thriller Hard Candy is right up there, though. I didn't know whether to applaud or barf.

Disappointingly skin-deep and almost shockingly wholesome, Mary Harron's The Notorious Bettie Page lives up to neither its title nor its advertising slogan, "the pin-up sensation that shocked the nation."

Works its way to an improbably cheerful ending, but getting there is a slow trip.

The film plays like one long commercial. The music's cool, but you're better off buying the CD.

The stunning adventure Mountain Patrol: Kekexili is like a John Ford western set, not in the master's beloved Monument Valley, but in remotest China.

Most of the movie's plot becomes obvious before you even meet the brother, 10 minutes into it. Even the sex scenes turn out to be tasteful and tame. You've seen hotter stuff on Oxygen.

It'll make you want to dig out your Whitesnake T-shirt. It might even convince Tipper Gore that heavy metal thunder is all in good fun.

Similar to the recent Emmanuelle Devos drama "Gilles' Wife," but it's as cool as that one was melodramatic.

Pretentious, stagy and over-the-top update of Chekov's "The Three Sisters."

Corddry leads a game cast, but the film is rough around the edges...It would play better as a TV sketch.

If the film is meant to make us feel good about African justice, it does anything but.

A smug, deliberately convoluted mix tape of Tarantino, the Coen brothers, Guy Ritchie and Hitchcock with (mostly) a cast to die for, Lucky Number Slevin is great fun for, say, 20 minutes.

Sandler's latest ode to projectile vomiting, passing gas, gay jokes and physical insults to the groin is basically a feeble cross between "The Revenge of the Nerds" and "The Bad News Bears."

The film is amateurishly directed and sluggishly paced with an anorexic plot. Even the photography, sound and costumes are substandard.

Johnny can't read, but he sure can rumba - and that's just fine with Take the Lead.