So eyeball-gougingly awful that you're tempted to give up movies for Lent.

Three talking critters sing, dance and tell jokes, and I really wish they wouldn’t. Their act isn’t just dull — it’s almost as bad as One Direction’s.

An appallingly unfunny and unromantic romantic comedy.

No, Bratz, an unwitting and witless critique of American consumerism run amok, does not star Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie.

Thoroughly inept in just about every aspect.

Stick a fork in Nia Vardalos. I've been to funerals that were a lot more fun than I Hate Valentine's Day, her second alleged romantic comedy in less than a month.

Another repulsive, fetishistic trawl through the life and crimes of a serial killer.

A witless and vulgar sequel.

From beginning to end, the craft — directing, acting, writing, editing, design — is just not there.

Exploitative rubbish.

Hearing snoring from behind me at a screening the other day, I looked around and noticed four people had dozed off during the prettily photographed, boring vanity project that is Oh My God?

Less funny or romantic than your average colonoscopy, this cringe-inducing bore provides dubious employment for four Oscar winners, two nominees and a raft of TV performers.

An exceedingly dull and stillborn attempt to update the Brothers Grimm.

The race for worst movie of the year is heating up. You could even say it’s hotter than hell, now that Hellboy has taken the lead. This awful, disgusting, unfunny, idiotically plotted comic book flick offends the senses as much as the rankest subway car on the hottest summer day.

Even by the modest standards of the genre, the ending is jaw-droppingly ridiculous.

Ineptly directed by Raja Gosnell -- the genius behind the "Scooby-Doo" features, "Big Momma's House," and "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" -- this cheesy-looking flick has lousy animation, worse special effects and the most headache-inducing, blurry 3-D since "Clash of the Titans."

“I’d rather gouge my eyes out with hot spoons!’’ De Niro exclaims at one point. I’m not sure exactly what he was talking about, but I’d like to think it referred to the prospect of being forced to watch The Big Wedding.

Thanks to the amateurish, spectacularly talent-free quality of its cinematography, direction, writing and acting, Emerald Cowboy is simply impossible to sit through.

Unlike the modern glamour-vamps of "True Blood" and "Twilight," this group of smitten and bitten men are no fun at all. That is, unless you like heavy breathing, underwear sniffing, cringe-inducing blood sucking, murder by stabbing or hanging, plus grainy, underexposed cinematography and stilted acting.

There's something seriously wrong when you assemble actors this good -- and can't believe a single stilted word coming out of their mouths.

Excruciatingly unfunny.

Leave her at the altar! She is “The Bride!,” one of the absolute worst movies I have had the displeasure of watching in this job.

"I need something bad and fast,” criminal Graham Bricke says to a weapons dealer early in The Last Days of American Crime. The Netflix action film definitely fulfills one of those criteria: It is so, so bad — but it is ever eye-gougingly slow.

An excruciating indie knockoff of "Training Day."

That this exercise in vulgarity was made at all is shameful. Dark Crimes is punishing to watch.

I have zero reservations about telling you how much I loathed New Year's Eve, a soul-sucking monument to Hollywood greed and saccharine holiday culture.

The narrative itself, attributed to three former "Seinfeld" writers who also worked on "The Grinch," reeks of desperation.

Based on a video game, far exceeds expectations -- in negative ways that inspire thoughts of less than zero stars.