The final scene is so foul that even ya-hoos have trouble mustering much applause; it's the kind of film that makes you feel dirty. As for Bronson, whose box-office appeal has faded as the viciousness of his films has increased, Ten to Midnight is a kind of milestone: It's time to write him off. [22 Mar 1983, p.B5]

For a movie that's all about camouflage, this sketch comedy epilogue turns out to be its most creative disguise: a thin coating of humor slapped on an otherwise ponderous film.

The Dungeonmaster is a low-budget fantasy from 1984 on which no less than seven directors labored, and in vain. Each of the seven took one "sequence" in a series of ill-explained jousts between a computer wizard and a caped character called Mestema, who turns out to be Satan himself. Each of the "sequences" is uniformly shoddy looking. [14 Aug 1985, p.D5]

Zapped strains for laughs with a few weak attempts at film parody. The references here are to Star Trek, Taxi Driver and The Exorcist (in this context, flying vomit is supposed to be funny). They only make us wish we were watching a different movie. [09 Sep 1982, p.C7]

Johnny Be Good -- hah! Johnny Be Terrible is more like it. This dopey football comedy loses major yardage in the first scene and never recovers. Scene one: A high school coach turns a prayer for a state championship into a foul-mouthed speech so loathsome that you expect the Almighty to smite him. If only He had, film goers would have been spared this hell of a movie. [29 March 1988, p.B6]

An homage to the original so shabbily made and so witless that we can only hope it disappears into history -- and fast. [06 Apr 1984, p.D1]

A sluggish, soporific dud, the dreariest big-budget science-fiction adventure since "Dune."

The Mangler is one of the worst movies we've seen in years, and we've seen a lot of movies. [6 Mar 1995, p.5C]

Teen Wolf Too is a relentlessly idiotic sequel to 1985's Teen Wolf. [1 Dec 1987, p.B5]

The most astounding thing about this abysmal comedy -- aside from the fact the studio actually allowed critics within a mile of it -- is that it's so ghastly it is beneath even the meager dignity of Paris Hilton.

Beyond the anemic script, though, Caddyshack II fails because Dangerfield fits the character better. His bulging eyes and neurotic demeanor fuel his lethal jabs. Even though he's still the stand-up comic, his well-established routine makes it easier to believe him. [27 July 1988, p.D1]

There's a crude energy to the opening scenes of this film, suggesting that the director might one day find a trade. The rest of it is the worst kind of trash, being not just vicious but stupid, too. Peter Fonda appears in an expanded walk-on as a pimp, his "special appearance." Fonda, O'Neal, Cara and the aforementioned Blakley; it is a long fall indeed. [6 March 1985, p.5]

It's hard to dislike Cheech and Chong, even now, in the wake of the most tedious 90 minutes of "feature" film in 1983. "The boys" have been at work on their curious subgenre -- drug references and large breasts in ceaseless combination -- for far too long now, and you can tell, watching them sleepwalk through the material, that they're tired. [10 May 1983, p.B5]

Smokey aims very low and still doesn't hit. [17 Aug 1983, p.D4]

The movie generates suspense by keeping its focus on the detective and the attorney, two professionals trying to do their jobs the best they can. They just happen to be required to confront unspeakable evil, try to understand it, stare it in the eyes.

In the guise of a loving homage, Making Contact manages to steal shamelessly and for the most part ineptly from its betters -- Close Encounters of the Third Kind, E.T., Poltergeist, Carrie. There is barely an original moment in the film, which is nonetheless almost incomprehensible. [02 Sep 1986, p.B5]

This is also the first of the s-and-s films to give sex nearly equal time with disembowelment, a story concept we can only cheer. [6 Sept 1983, p.B5]