Tons of tracks, events, and online races give Revenge plenty of variety, but it's the blinding speed and the velvety smooth controls that make this the best racing game of the year.

It’s about time someone used an SUV for more than hauling brats to soccer practice.

More than the type of senseless video game violence that keeps Hillary Clinton up at night. A sequel to Ghost Recon 2, this stealth challenge offers a harrowing third-person shooter in which you're always outnumbered, and sometimes outgunned, and thus have to rely heavily on cover instead of ammo.

Verbose cut scenes threaten to stall the mayhem, but two elements save the day: playable legends like Andre the Giant and "bra & panties" matches featuring such divas as Stacy Keibler and Trish Stratus. A little thong goes a long way.

If you have an urge to knock some balls around during the winter, then Tiger Woods might be able to help you out.

Played as both a sword-wielding samurai and a warrior monk who swings what looks like a table leg, Genji is mostly a button masher, but one that requires good timing to pull off its truly brutal (and life saving) moves.

You can bludgeon guys with pipes, chuck them into moving traffic, or even mash them face first into sides of roasting beef. What more could a wrestling fan possibly ask for?

What truly sticks out about this real-time strategy game is that it never lets its engrossing depth create a dull moment.

With its tongue-in-cheek take on street life, this consummate B-baller keeps it more real than most of today’s endorsement-whore NBA superstars.

And with the engaging story, plus the graphic-novel presentation (boxes of action and text are constantly popping up on-screen), this truth is worth uncovering.

Nothing jazzes up a sport better than flagrant infractions.

While this Xbox sequel is even quirkier, it’s just as insanely addictive...[and] plays like one big ghetto-fabulous party. Word.

The creators get points for keeping the combos, juggles, air attacks, and instant-kill fatalities, not to mention the chopsocky feel and cameos from familiar faces like Baraka and Reptile.

The game takes hits for its often crappy camera angles. Still, it’ll satisfy your raging blood lust.

Stealing the best gadgets and characters from the movies, NightFire lets you decide how to topple the requisite megalomanical villain: Use stealth and gizmos (like Eurobabe-revealing x-ray specs—thanks, Q!) or go in guns blazing.

Hollywood always screws up a good, cheesy kung fu movie by disrupting it with a plot (Jackie Chan, we’re looking at your outtakes reel), but the B-movie studio in this video game doesn’t make that mistake.

The closest we’ll get to interactive anime, this game couldn’t be more Japanese if it featured a ninja penguin schoolgirl getting bukkaked.

Easy-to-master controls, new camera angles, customizable teams, legendary players like Babe Ruth and Jackie Robinson—don’t wait for Mother Nature’s lazy ass; spring starts now.

Drivables—from hearses to school buses to muscle cars—all handle differently, but their arcade-style ease nicely compliments an overall dumb-ass experience that’s as fun as getting a bellyful of corn liquor and chasing a greased piglet.

If the ensuing police brutality doesn’t mold you into the model Wheelman, then having to endure those whiny English cop sirens surely will.

Deploying psychic powers to solve puzzles further taxes your melon and sets the game apart from feeble-minded run 'n' gunners, earning Psi Ops the coveted Best Carrie-Meets-Rambo Game of the Year Award.

But it also has a compelling Story mode, written by former Hulk scribe Paul Jenkins, who gives the big guy a reason to use his considerable crushing skills.

Adding live online support and a fantasy-league “Mogul” mode that lets you trade players, track stats, and haggle over TV rights? OK, we’re really psyched.

Set up like Grand Theft Alien, there are tons of missions to complete, though you can also just roam around, killing filthy humans and destroying their stuff.

Despite a trick roster with some troubling names (anyone care to attempt a “Rocket Queen”?), this is as down and dirty as they come. Detergent not included.

Amusing.

The sharp graphics and advanced jiggle physics will no doubt prick the interest of lonely gamers, but surprisingly, the game's volleyball action is pretty solid. And that's the most important thing…right?

Twenty-four long trails and endless noodly bike upgrades add variety.