With Heroes, D&D has severed its dorky roots in favor of fast-paced, arcade-style hackin' 'n' slashin'.

A game for those who think they don't make 'em like they used to, but should, Shodown is an exact replica of the classic arcade fighter.

It's too bad that clunky controls and eh game play stay forever buried in a time lock of dull sloppiness.

Stevie Wonder could breeze through this first-person shooter in under five hours.

While the kill-and-kill-again objective may be low in frills, the simple, straightforward action is a welcome break from a sea of complex games that currently take longer to set up than to play.

Though challenging, it's also sometimes pedestrian, with a host of uninspired levels and dim bad guys ruining what could have been the triumphant return of 007.

What’s really shocking, though, is that it plays as well as a regulation tennis game. It has the same responsive controls, and even lets you play online doubles with your friends—assuming they're more likely to chug a Country Club than apply to one.

Most of the game consists of endless management, such as babysitting your kids, managing your dough, and constantly mailing postcards to your friends so they don’t resent your ignoring them.

Decent graphics and gory (if kinda short) game play will keep most players nailed to the controller, but sometimes wretched camera placement sucks harder than the minions of Dracula at a Red Cross blood drive.

If you’re keen on tasteless, tongue-in-cheek jokes, smooth sailing lies ahead.

Now we don’t mean to be football snobs here, but there’s just something wrong when a downfield bomb takes longer to drop than the Goodyear blimp. Just ask the unconscious wide receiver that got clocked by a safety waiting for it to come down.

The concept and play consistently deal a royal flush, just ignore the choppy visuals, which can irritate like a pesky infection picked up at Miss Kitty’s Cat House.

Despite the occasionally clunky controls, Emperor’s Tomb does impress with its hand-to-hand brawls (Ms. Croft would be lost without HER weapons) and the free-range exploration allowed within each level.

Painstaking detail and suspenseful play make this a thinking sofa slug’s delight, though the deliberate pace might frustrate action fans.

This build-your-own-robot game gives grease monkeys a 20-story garage, hundreds of parts, and plenty of time to tinker with and create the ultimate 40-ton rig.

Such virtual destruction may once have seemed innocent, but these days the whole thing hits a little close to home.

We forsee you buying this game, enjoying it at first, getting frustrated at certain parts, then putting it on your shelf after you’re done and rarely playing it again.

Hilariously crude.

We forsee you buying this game, enjoying it at first, getting frustrated at certain parts, then putting it on your shelf after you’re done and rarely playing it again.

Some of the better moves defy gravity and reason—such as the four-man pile driver. The game doesn't reveal who these freaks are or why they're fighting, but extensive research has revealed they're based on a line of rubber toys and a disturbing '80s TV show.

What's really shocking, though, is that it plays as well as a regulation tennis game. It has the same responsive controls, and even lets you play online doubles with your friends-assuming they're more likely to chug a Country Club than apply to one.

It’s all so much like the Xbox version, in fact, that you might wonder why the hell you spent money on it a second time.

But the game's star is really Nevin's cool, morphable costume, which gives new meaning to the phrase "class action suit."

Like the movie, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is quite an ambitious undertaking. Unlike the movie, it doesn’t consistently deliver the goods.

Blowing away targets requires use of annoying lock-on control, but rolling out of harm's way during lead showers and stealthy clinging to walls varies the pace-as do cut scenes dripping with cheezola dialogue.

Welcome to the mile-high club.

The drab pacing isn’t helped by clunky controls and muddy graphics.

The whole shooting match feels kinda Xeroxed, but for fans of the genre, it's worth the rental after a long day at the rock pile.

The only "improvements" consist of a slew of extra outfits, yawn-inducing training missions, and a handful of bonuses that only the most avid Gear geek could appreciate. If that’s you, fine.

Though the tired scenarios prevent this from being a gourmet experience, on the action-starved Xbox it makes for a satisfying lunch special.

Offers enough twists to make us take the bait.

We don’t like how the pesky pedestrians always manage to dodge your cab, but the graphics of the San Francisco–like city are amazingly detailed.

But the game's focus on cooperative gameplay with an AI fighting partner feels more forced than fun. If we wanted to be this bored with another person, we’d have gotten married.

The graphics and sound (enhanced by the actual voices of the movie’s stars) were well-rendered and intricate indeed, but players soon grew bored with repetitive thrusting and parrying against evil Sauron’s monstrous hordes.

But the game's star is really Nevin's cool, morphable costume, which gives new meaning to the phrase "class action suit."

If sending a single bullet through someone’s head thousands of yards away sounds like a good Friday night to you, then Silent Scope is right up your alley (and therapy might not be a bad idea, either).

The scares happen early and often, so we strongly recommend you play this one with the lights turned down and the volume turned up. Just make sure you have a diaper on.

This confrontation between Crash and his massively noggined nemesis, Dr. Cortex, is the most innovative yet.

Not everyone’s cup of vino, but a true toga party for fans of the franchise.

A letdown for NRA enthusiasts, surely, but they will enjoy the best spy perk of all—a license to kill.

Maybe they should change their names to something catchy, like Fuzzy or Chi-Chi, so we can remember who the hell they are.

The game’s lack of realism (your cars can’t get damaged or dirty) takes away from that devilish feeling that you’re doing something naughty with the family car.

Like most outings with the little lady, this one gets tired, but ample eye candy—and violence—ensure that Eve is one traditional kiss good night that occasionally slips you the tongue.

Fanatics will tweak tire pressure, suspension, and build dynasties, alliances, and sponsorships; rookies can learn the nuances of drafting, passing, and holding position on dozens of real-world tracks.

Like the comic books that inspired it, Freedom Force features slick animation and plenty of boffo, whiz-bang special effects.

The concept and play consistently deal a royal flush, just ignore the choppy visuals, which can irritate like a pesky infection picked up at Miss Kitty’s Cat House.

You'll add valuable mech piloting skills to your résumé in punishing combat situations that are as close as you'll ever get to the real thing...were these machines not totally fictional.

The unique fighting system keeps things lively—martial arts and gun battles play out by aligning "moves" on an action bar—but whether or not there are enough Matrix fans out there to populate this huge, lush world remains to be seen.

While not the deepest racer, the game has speedy thrills and frantic multiplayer action that help bring Sonic's usual racing antics and signature speed to the sky.

Unfortunately, figuring out how to work the controller is absolutely infuriating, meaning you go into firefights against stealthy Charlie with no knowledge of your environment, opponent, or weapon.

To say you need quick reflexes to survive this would be an understatement—it’s almost like you need to use a mystical, ambivalent power to help guide you through it. Sort of like the movie.

The multiplayer is engaging and the storyline suitably absurd, but in the world of PC games the first-person shooter bar is set high, and with Half-Life 2 out there, it's hard to imagine choosing this shorter, less clever game instead.

An adventure game that looks and plays shamelessly like "Tomb Raider," only without the oversized breasts.

Warning: Tenchu 2 requires a lot of patience and exploration, so if you’re looking for a mindless contest, maybe you should turn on a Presidential debate instead.

It's too bad that clunky controls and eh game play stay forever buried in a time lock of dull sloppiness.

Though challenging, it's also sometimes pedestrian, with a host of uninspired levels and dim bad guys ruining what could have been the triumphant return of 007.

While the tough, stealthy game play won’t grip you in a chokehold of novelty and surprise, it flashes a lethal look and feel.

We forsee you buying this game, enjoying it at first, getting frustrated at certain parts, then putting it on your shelf after you’re done and rarely playing it again.

At last you’ll infiltrate the secret lair, where you’ll discover…you’ve been playing a very standard-issue game.

Decent graphics and gory (if kinda short) game play will keep most players nailed to the controller, but sometimes wretched camera placement sucks harder than the minions of Dracula at a Red Cross blood drive.

Despite the occasionally clunky controls, Emperor’s Tomb does impress with its hand-to-hand brawls (Ms. Croft would be lost without HER weapons) and the free-range exploration allowed within each level.

If you want a glimpse of what the NBA might look like if Vince McMahon were the commissioner, then you owe yourself a look at NBA Hoopz.

The game’s pace rarely manages to grind past second gear, making this a much longer haul than it really should be.

Though challenging, it's also sometimes pedestrian, with a host of uninspired levels and dim bad guys ruining what could have been the triumphant return of 007.

While not the deepest racer, the game has speedy thrills and frantic multiplayer action that help bring Sonic's usual racing antics and signature speed to the sky.

It all adds up to a decent shooter with 30 weapons to keep you trigger-happy while alternating between single- and four-player "Deathmatch" and "Last Man Standing" modes.

While the graphics are different from previous Taxi incarnations, the goal of this romp is the same.

Ultra-deep.

And once you learn to handle swapping positions at the tap of a button, you'll realize that beneath the cuddly, kiddie veneer lurks a fiercely competitive game that's all about spanking the baby powder off your opponents.

The drab pacing isn’t helped by clunky controls and muddy graphics.

The wacky sensibility will give you a few chuckles, while the insane difficulty level takes you on a masochistic tour of your squandered youth.

Despite surprisingly disappointing graphics, RC Revenge Pro takes you back to grade school with more remote-controlled cars than a well-stocked Toys “R” Us.

Unfortunately, figuring out how to work the controller is absolutely infuriating, meaning you go into firefights against stealthy Charlie with no knowledge of your environment, opponent, or weapon.

If the steep learning curve has you hollering "Mayday!" a little too often, you can always switch sides and play as a Japanese pilot—and plan a little do-it-yourself Pearl Harbor.

Difficult navigation and slow play require Zen-like patience, but riches await the persistent. You’ll revel in a bowel-loosening atmosphere, brain-twisting puzzles, and voice acting surpassed in horror only by "My Slutty Wife XIX."

Fanatics will tweak tire pressure, suspension, and build dynasties, alliances, and sponsorships; rookies can learn the nuances of drafting, passing, and holding position on dozens of real-world tracks.

While not the deepest racer, the game has speedy thrills and frantic multiplayer action that help bring Sonic's usual racing antics and signature speed to the sky.

Fanatics will tweak tire pressure, suspension, and build dynasties, alliances, and sponsorships; rookies can learn the nuances of drafting, passing, and holding position on dozens of real-world tracks.

While the tough, stealthy game play won’t grip you in a chokehold of novelty and surprise, it flashes a lethal look and feel.

Despite its replay value, this is little more than a restructured stroll down memory lane. Next time, let's hope Nintendo enters the 21st century and puts this puppy online.

Like the movie, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is quite an ambitious undertaking. Unlike the movie, it doesn’t consistently deliver the goods.

Unfortunately, figuring out how to work the controller is absolutely infuriating, meaning you go into firefights against stealthy Charlie with no knowledge of your environment, opponent, or weapon.

Sharp graphics, explosive action, and an Internet multiplayer mode earn a big ten four.

Sure, Arena Football may look and play almost as good as the pros (featuring all of the teams, players, and fast-paced fury of alternative smash-mouth), but time out here: who cares about the AFL? Oh, that's right—no one.

It’s hard to diss a game that looks so realistic (Iverson’s still rocking ’rows), but there’s just something wrong when the only way to stop anyone from driving to the bucket is by taking away their keys to the stadium.

Keith Jackson is good for an occasional chortle, and brings realism to the game.

It’s hard to diss a game that looks so realistic (Iverson’s still rocking ’rows), but there’s just something wrong when the only way to stop anyone from driving to the bucket is by taking away their keys to the stadium.

Sure, Arena Football may look and play almost as good as the pros (featuring all of the teams, players, and fast-paced fury of alternative smash-mouth), but time out here: who cares about the AFL? Oh, that's right-no one.

Yes, it’s half-amusing to see Marge do a 360 with her beehive do for, oh, about 10 seconds, but really, let’s just keep the skateboarding to experts like Bart and Tony Hawk.

(Like some supermodels), there isn’t much to it beyond its looks.

The ordinary race-and-chaser’s loosely knit compilation of repetitive Mini Cooper showdowns has a recognizable scene or two, but that’s about it.

Too bad repetitive action, mediocre graphics, and a limited kraut’s-eye-view perspective make slaying Private Ryan and company as predictable as an episode of "Hogan’s Heroes."

It’s hard to diss a game that looks so realistic (Iverson’s still rocking ’rows), but there’s just something wrong when the only way to stop anyone from driving to the bucket is by taking away their keys to the stadium.

The ordinary race-and-chaser’s loosely knit compilation of repetitive Mini Cooper showdowns has a recognizable scene or two, but that’s about it.

The ordinary race-and-chaser’s loosely knit compilation of repetitive Mini Cooper showdowns has a recognizable scene or two, but that’s about it.

Though it adds a new playable character, tougher skill levels, and the option to speed everything up 20%, it still has the same annoying and unavoidable music, occasionally stiff controls, and that frustratingly limiting “chose your style of fighting” system that made the original Cry 3 a lot less fun than the first two incarnations.

A little too complicated for its own good.

The moves are so disappointing and ineffective, you’re down for the count before the festivities begin. On the list of failed comebacks, file this one below ALF.