Even the most brainless of braindead fare can aim higher than this rat-hitting-the-feeder-bar inanity. You deserve better.

When you're not wrestling with its cumbersome online machinations, Deadliest Warrior: Legends is an absolute treat. It possesses a number of potent improvements over last year's model, resulting in a fighter that's cerebral, satisfying and deep -- and, in the moments when it is not those things, absolutely hilarious.

These superb touches only serve as a reminder of how good the game could have been, and how thoroughly its been spoiled by its one defining flaw: It tries to find a happy medium between two genres, but sadly fails to capture the essence of either.

It could have been an addictive mission-based multiplayer title perfect for a portable platform, but with its limited content and quickly tiresome combat, Mercenaries 3D is little more than a fully-priced proof of concept.

I fell in love with this game, immediately. It's got a funny script, it's easy to learn, and I can complete a whole quest while I wait for my tea to steep.

There's nothing wrong with a short game that feels complete, but Dark of the Moon feels half-finished.

Fear is intrinsically a solitary emotion, but the only worthwhile experiences you can have with FEAR 3 require the participation of a friend or three. With that kind of congregation, any chance for terror is completely diminished; but your chances for excitement are dramatically increased.

It's just a shame the co-op isn't better implemented -- without a compelling multiplayer component, Dungeon Siege 3 lags behind its role-playing competitors.

A campy, silly and over-the-top adventure. It's certainly pleasing to annihilate demon hordes, but the real drive of Garcia's "road movie" is to see what weird and wonderful thing pops up next, be it a friendly demon with a southern drawl or an unexpected series of 2D shoot-em-up levels.

Like Costume Quest and Stacked before it, Trenched is one of those downloadable games that almost makes you feel like you're getting away with robbery for paying $15 for it rather than full retail price.

It sets a new standard for modern remakes of past-generation titles, proving that there's absolutely nothing wrong with a publisher capitalizing on gamers' nostalgia, so long as they can find a developer who loves the source material just as much as -- if not more than -- we do.

With all of its expansion packs, the first game has greater card variety; but if you're looking for some innovative changes to the classic gameplay formula, Planeswalkers 2012 deserves your attention.

Some players may be hung up by its brevity, but if its extension would have depreciated how breathtaking the rest of the game is, I don't think I'd have it any other way.

It's just a pity that a title inspired by some of the most outlandish and inspired works of literature has to live with some of the driest tropes that the game design textbook has to offer.

What has, at long last, been committed to a disc and placed into a box might have been alright a dozen years ago, but by today's standards it simply doesn't hold up.

Infamous 2 tows a perfect line between too-strong and too-puny, between human and superhuman, between risk and restraint. It halfheartedly delivers on a few of its promises, but its shortcomings are far outweighed by this one stellar achievement: It knows how to make you feel powerful.

Ultimately, one of Hunted: The Demon Forge's biggest strengths is also its biggest weakness -- there's just not much there. Yes, its constituent components are polished and impeccably streamlined, but after a few hours, there aren't any surprises in store.

Red Faction: Armageddon manages to strip most of what was good about Guerrilla and fill the vacuum left behind with only mediocrity and a cool magnet gun.

Describing the opening moments of The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings as a "trial by fire" is almost too trite to bear, but don't tell me it isn't accurate.

Despite all the problems, DOA Dimensions is fundamentally a good fighter, and a great DOA. The controls don't really require an arcade stick or six face buttons, and therefore translate nicely to the 3DS; the graphics look slick, especially the huge, interactive environments; the counter-heavy battles are as quick as ever. I can't ignore the egregious missteps made, but there's a lot to enjoy about the game despite those.

Shmups are hardcore enough, but Bangai-O HD: Missile Fury somehow feels like a niche unto itself. At least death is served up à la carte, so you can move between stages at will if you die three times.

It's not just a bad game, it's a terrible use of Wizards of the Coast's timeless license. Even when boiled down to its core combat mechanics, D&D is cerebral, challenging, intense, and infinitely rewarding. Dungeons & Dragons: Daggerdale is just a game about hitting monsters until treasure falls out of them.

It has the capability to convert people who aren't particularly interested in rally racing to addicts who need just one more race or Gymkhana event. It would seem that Codemasters' love for the sport is infectious.

L.A. Noire may not always be "fun" in the traditional sense, but it's also unsatisfied with being "merely fun," and the result of that aspiration is something that no one who cares about video games should miss.

Brink's artistically compelling soldiers can sail effortlessly over obstacles, landing acrobatic maneuvers never before seen in the genre with effortless poise -- unfortunately, just about everything else lands flat on its face.

There's only one 4-minute bit in the entire thing that was fun to play, and that was tailgunning in the spaceship. So at least the whole review wasn't negative, amirite?

Darkspore doesn't exactly redefine RPGs as we know it, but there's no other action RPG around that allows this much control over the look of your characters. There's a lot of room for improvement, but the living loot system and Hero Editor help Darkspore stand out among other hack-and-slash games.

When I see Fancy Pants Man, the game's scribbled but charming protagonist, I see Tom Cruise sliding down the hall in his underwear. This entire game feels extrapolated from that iconic, underdressed celebration in the absence of authority.