Ultimately, though, the biggest blow against the game is its brevity. You shouldn't have trouble clearing its single-player mode in two or three hours.

Your time would be better spent by buying that bag of pre-mix concrete and building something useful - and it would probably be more fun.

This is probably the worst racing game (motocross or otherwise) that I have ever played. It plays bad, looks bad, and I'm sure if I sniffed it, it would probably smell bad, too.

If you're 12 years old and Mom won't buy you the game with the guns, then this is a relatively nonviolent and enthralling adventure that I think even adults can sink their teeth into.

There is no reason to buy or rent this tragic mess of code, and while it’s not the end of the world, it’s damn close. Evil indeed.

Call of Duty Black Ops: Declassified doesn't just lack a story-it lacks an attempt at a story. It doesn't just lack good multiplayer stages; it lacks stages. It doesn't just have a few occasional bugs; it has entirely too many gltiches, disconnections, and crashes-though I must admit, seeing a chopper spawn inside a house is good for a few laughs.

Every other rail shooter that’s been released for the Wii is better than this one. Target: Terror is unnecessarily difficult and every bit as hollow as it is ugly.

Though the game is in 3D, you cannot move the camera at all. It just tracks Bruce and zooms in and out randomly. Half the time you'll be fighting a guy standing off screen. Not that it matters, though, since the enemies are morons who simply perform the same attacks over and over again.

Unfortunately, while its developer can roll out a patch to improve its performance, it can’t roll out a patch that will increase its player-count. With that being said it is impossible to recommend Rekoil, a game which is swiftly heading towards stagnation before it ever had a chance to prove itself.

To say that its immature and painfully unfunny sense of humor would be appreciated by 13-years-olds is doing a disservice to the intelligence of 13-year-olds, as Zombeer makes Duke Nukem Forever look like Withnail & I.

Besides the two seconds of fatality joy, the only other redeeming quality of this game is its price. Major retail outlets tag it at about $20. That’s still about $19 overpriced, but at least they’re not trying to pretend this decorative coaster is anything else.

This gameplay is about as much fun as riding the Monorail.

Its moments of thrilling gameplay and competition-rich multiplayer are sideswiped by bad performance, the poor implementation of Slam, and frequent glitches. The series might have once had potential to be revived, but Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 5 makes sure that all signs of life have been squeezed out of it.

Quality assurance is a beautiful thing, people. It keeps sprites on the screen, weapons able to be picked up when available always, and everything working as they should. I don't know if all was alright in Windows, but playing on a Mac… well, don't bother.

A poor excuse for a kart racer, and a poor excuse for a game. Everything else seems so much sweeter in comparison. A good punch to the face would be like candy to me.

Controls, rather, your body is wonky.

Not only is the movie a copy of another movie, it's now a game which copies a movie which copies another movie. Too much copying means no innovation.

You'll find it almost unplayable thanks to both the worst camera and control in the history of video gaming.

You can turn down the volume, but you’re better off turning down this game. That’s harsh, but so are the graphics, the A.I. routines, the missions, the gameplay, and the characters.

If there ever was a game to be pointed to and laughed at, it would be this one.

My mother didn't like me quitting the piano because I didn’t find it fun anymore, but Rhythm ‘N Notes commits a far worse offense. It takes the joy of music and turns it down to a mute.

I've been sticking my finger in my mouth trying to hurl this filth back up. Maybe I can get KISS to "Lick It Up!"

There’s some charm to the cheesy interviews and the upgrades like the fold-down barbecue grill, but Pimp My Ride is such a flimsy game - so plain, so bare. It's catchy enough to play once or twice, but it can’t hold a candle to Burnout.

In general, playing the game is a sinusoidal process of momentary elation as you uncover a new element, quickly followed by deep disappointment as you discover it’s a piece of crap.

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT under any circumstance give this game as a gift to anyone you would like to stay on good terms with. Not even die hard Survivor fans could possibly enjoy this game. Instead, send a copy to your worst enemy.

To add insult to injury, when Batman gets hurt, his animation is to fall over like a domino. Here you've got a fully equipped destroyer of crime, and he takes punches like an inflatable 'punch-em' clown. This speaks pages for how poorly the rest of the animation fares.

If I can leave you with one thing before you leave this page, it’s that you should not play this game. Don’t spend money on it. It’s meant to be bundled with these consoles for suckers so eager to play with the latest in-home ripoff technology that they’ll spend more money to get games they don’t want with it.

Among my canon of crappy games, this one takes the cake as the most vapidly pointless game yet. Good bye, Angels, I’ll see you in Hell. In this case, Hell being under my mug of java on the coffee table.