As Velvet Assassin’s story unfolds, a realization begins to dawn. Events have nothing to tie them together. No overarching plot shapes your gameplay experience. Instead, these are vignettes devoid of character or emotional resonance.

Circle of Doom’s problems all seem so frustratingly obvious the first time you see them that it makes you wonder why they were never changed.

The sad thing is, blasting these hostile extraterrestrial invaders is a thrill-less and somewhat aggravating endeavor...The world would definitely be a better place without it. [Mar 2002, p.85]

Eureka Seven could have been decent if the LFOs didn't feel like they were slliding on thin ice, or the lifting delivered any sensation of speed or excitement. [Oct. 2006, p.100]

I suggest Midway go back to the drawing board and mix realism with its brutal attitude, similar to what it did with "RedCard Soccer." [Oct 2002, p.84]

In all honesty, I enjoyed the main bulk of gameplay about as much as I do that throbbing sensation when a Q-tip is jammed just a little too far into my ear. [July 2003, p.115]

As Velvet Assassin's story unfolds, a realization begins to dawn. Events have nothing to tie them together. [July 2009, p.83]

The game is nothing but an exercise in pressing X at the right time. [Nov 2001, p.110]

Some of the most antiquated and broken gameplay available on modern consoles. [June 2005, p.126]

Many of us lived through the era of video games that was overflowing with bad movie-to-game adaptations, and Crossroads is a pointed reminder of those days, showing just how far games have come since then. It’s a mess of a game that hones in on why the Fast movies are great, but will make you want to put the controller down to watch one of those movies instead.

The entire package, whether it's boring fetch missions or jokes that fall flat, feels uninspired and rushed. [May 2008, p.95]

Some games run into problems trying to be everything to everyone, but SimCity Creator suffers from the opposite affliction. It doesn’t try to be anything to anyone. Well, that’s one thing it does right.

I don’t completely regret playing Goat Simulator, but I also don’t recommend it to anyone looking for more than disposable entertainment involving goats making people fall down and blowing up gas stations. I appreciate that Coffee Stain Studios is in on the joke, but acknowledging a game is bad doesn't suddenly make it good.

Despite debuting as part of PlayStation Plus' Instant Game Collection, the barren lobbies and long matchmaking times tell you everything you need to know about the state of Secret Ponchos. No one wants to play a laggy, imbalanced, and punitive multiplayer-only game, even if it's free.

For better or worse, Rise of Nightmares doesn't support a standard controller. Even if it did, the game would still be just as guilty of blandness. Combine this sin with the constant control struggles, and it's tough to recommend this game for even the most desperate Kinect owner.

The dreary level designs and overly repetitive gameplay sours the overall experience. Also, for the love of God, please stop with the coin collecting. It's over. [Oct 2004, p.136]

Please, just don’t play this.

Some ideas here might have worked well if the developers had honed in on a few systems to perfect. Instead, the game throws so many overwhelming systems at you that many get lost in the shuffle. As much as I like to root for the underdog and want to see niche games catapult to new heights, Mugen Souls needs so much refining that I can't cheer it on.

EA should be ashamed that it’s trying to bilk some kid out of $50 while offering so little in return. I can understand simplifying the controller in an otherwise button-heavy sport, but that doesn’t mean the gameplay itself has to become uninspiring and so lacking.

To say that Over G Fighters is a phenomenally terrible game isn't an exaggeration or a quippy joke. [Sept. 2006, p.97]

The dull, simplistic puzzle-solving relies on a gimmicky control scheme to distract you from the fact that it’s barely a game in any sense of the word.

It's too bad none of this care and effort went into the actual combat engine, which is a simplistic throwback to 8-bit brawlers like "Double Dragon", minus the old-school charm. [Nov 2003, p.167]

The game looks okay, but combat is dull and it doesn't compare to its PC counterpart. [Dec 2004, p.168]

Even though events like a serial killer and political intrigue pop up to break up the action, the day-to-day monotony of the gameplay takes its toll. Content is repeated, and causes the experience to drag on. If the goal was to convey the drudgery of this kind of work, I was sick of it halfway through. It all culminates in one of the dumbest imaginable confrontations.

Silent Hill: Book of Memories devolves from a mediocre dungeon crawler into a frustrating grind over the course of too many hours. WayForward's attempt to do something different with the Silent Hill universe is novel, but the clunky combat and imbalanced difficulty make this impossible to recommend.

Not only does its gameplay come nowhere near replicating the physics and control of rally racing, but it also looks like a chunky ass. [Mar 2003, p.92]

Offers nothing but mindless button-mashing, boring level design, and horrible pacing. [May 2004, p.100]

Assassin’s Creed Chronicles: India is a disappointment. Outside of the gorgeous, painted art style, it has few redeeming features.