Reports of boos at the film's debut at Cannes are more understandable now, not because Marie Antoinette is an inaccurate or indifferent look at French history (it is), but because it's self-indulgent shit. Booing - and beheading - are too good for it.

Nothing but a perfect waste of a Friday night. Or a Tuesday night. Or any night of the week for that matter.

Crikey, what a croc o’ shit! But hey, at least the title of this film lets you know exactly where it's heading. So as painful as this movie is to watch, if you willingly buy a ticket, you’re only doing it to yourself.

Even with a look at many of these people's relationship problems, there's nothing remotely interesting to listen to when they talk. In this case, it's the fault of the script, which doesn't provide much of anything interesting to keep it going for as long as it does.

I'm sure the filmmaker would disagree, but, honestly, I don't see the point. It's a visual Rorschach test and I must have failed.

Such garbage that taking a shower at the Bates Motel is a more appealing alternative.

A failure on virtually every level, Peppermint is a slapdash, half-hearted affront to anyone unfortunate enough to get caught in its crosshairs.

Turistas fails in almost every way a movie like this can.

Sadly, the death scenes are so unimaginative and the gore is so minimal that you might miss it if you blink.

Tedious, derivative exercise, stolen from a dozen or so horror/action films.

Its portrayal of Britt-Marie sometimes feels condescending, several of its plot turns make no sense, and its visuals add nothing that wasn’t already there in the original book.

The falling blade is the only element not missing the mark in this film. I wanted to call for the beheading after Act One, and spare the audience instead.

About as much fun as a grouchy ayatollah in a cold mosque.

This tired old pile of garbage will hopefully be chased out of town soon.

Eragon is laughably bad, mind-bogglingly derivative, and easily one of the worst movies of the year.

This is a movie that should have a medical warning in its trailer. Caution: viewing may be hazardous to your filmgoing fun; side effects can include drowsiness, irritation and difficulty swallowing.

Just plain bad.

Another disastrous comedy aimed at second-graders and anyone else who thinks farts are still funny.

It certainly didn't take long for Madonna to ruin husband Guy Ritchie's career.

I had just sat through a comedy that wasn't funny, a drama that wasn't touching and, all told, a mess of a story told by actors making some of either the laziest or most daring of choices, depending on your perspective. Sometimes both.

If only von Trier could work beyond the poster art concept. Antichrist stubbornly fails as a gothic nightmare and meanders as a misanthropic two-character drama.

Such a hopeless mess that there's no fun in tossing insults at its endless shortcomings.

This masterpiece started out at around three stars, but after the credits, it just got sillier and more lurid.

Down With Love has little to offer besides hip sixties references better films have already made and made infinitely more hip.

The able cast can't swim through the muck.

Aside from the pesky problems of tone and lazy writing, the whole move is a little choppy.

It's too mediocre (and PG-13) to be classified as a horror film, too inane to be taken seriously and too uninteresting to be bothered with.

I haven't seen such meaningful insight into the nature of human cooperation since this morning's "Sesame Street."