Listless clunker.

Thoroughly obnoxious and relentlessly unfunny comedy.

For a film meant to be a milestone for 100 years of the Walt Disney Company, Wish is a monumental failure.

There is certainly an issue here worth isolating and examining: that of veterans finding their oaths at odds with the state. How the movie considers this theme is dangerous and confusing. It’s an out-of-touch and partisan documentary, wasting its talents to stir mud.

There's too much pretension in this film. Lots of intense stares into the camera. Lots of uncomfortably hip clothes. Lots of pompous names for themselves.

This film is a messy jumble.

Uneven, unfocused and boring. It is listed as a "black comedy" and while there are humorous moments you will not be laughing much.

Deadly Friend hasn’t aged well. In fact, it’s quite crappy.

It will end up frustrating fans of both movie franchises enough to make them wish someone more competent was in charge.

The whole thing feels like a continuation of Lucas' experiments to see how much sh-- his dwindling supporters will take before finally saying "enough" and moving on to adult pursuits.

If you've got the opportunity to have someone as talented and game for anything as Swinton, you really owe it to her to give her a real movie to be in.

Scoop is about 50 minutes of plot padded with 40 minutes of Woody being Woody.

Sadly, the whole affair is little more than ennui with a pedigree.

Q: When is a vampire not a vampire? A: When it goes out in daylight, sees itself in a mirror, doesn’t drink human blood, and still manages to suck.

Cinderella fails spectacularly on just about every level.

More of a hangnail sketch -- no one can come away from this offering with a clue on what makes Wall Street click.

Half Past Dead would’ve been a bad film without Seagal anyways, but he fails long before any of the other parts do.

For the single-digit age set, Godzilla is sure to be the greatest movie of all time.

Step Up doesn't want to be new, original, innovative, or fresh, and it makes a point of practicing that guideline at every chance.

While I can understand and accept poor writing, it is deeply offensive to me that Wittock brushed under the rug the extensive abuse that Jeanne faces from Margarette and Marc. It normalizes non-consensual sexual behavior and parental abuse, both prevalent and very traumatic experiences. Therefore, despite all the good present in Jumbo, it would be immoral of me to recommend it.

Reviewing it is a wholly meaningless exercise, but I do it against my better judgment that anyone even seeks a second opinion before plopping down their hard-earned money for garbage like this.

What you won’t be able to ignore is the ridiculous way Vantage Point’s brings everything to an end.

Its premise may not be particularly original. But with it, Knuckleball could still have made for an effective movie, a horror film that’d also have doubled as a meditation on family. In actuality, however, Knuckleball ends up falling into a subcategory of horror films that I like to call “music-dependent.” Take away Michelle Osis and David Arcus’ scary-sounding score, in other words, and the film’s myriad flaws become woefully apparent.

You won’t want to sit through.

The Meg is simply toothless.

Caught between worlds, Disturbing the Peace isn’t as fun as it begs to be or as eloquent as it’s trying to be.

Despite the bits that work brilliantly, the movie as a whole really only works as an experimental curiosity.

There isn’t much in the way of original content to recommend in this experience beyond the film’s obvious use as easy fodder. The earnestness in which The Church was made ensures its status as an endearing failure, though sadly not as much else.