Listless clunker.

Thoroughly obnoxious and relentlessly unfunny comedy.

For a film meant to be a milestone for 100 years of the Walt Disney Company, Wish is a monumental failure.

There is certainly an issue here worth isolating and examining: that of veterans finding their oaths at odds with the state. How the movie considers this theme is dangerous and confusing. It’s an out-of-touch and partisan documentary, wasting its talents to stir mud.

There's too much pretension in this film. Lots of intense stares into the camera. Lots of uncomfortably hip clothes. Lots of pompous names for themselves.

This film is a messy jumble.

Uneven, unfocused and boring. It is listed as a "black comedy" and while there are humorous moments you will not be laughing much.

Deadly Friend hasn’t aged well. In fact, it’s quite crappy.

It will end up frustrating fans of both movie franchises enough to make them wish someone more competent was in charge.

The whole thing feels like a continuation of Lucas' experiments to see how much sh-- his dwindling supporters will take before finally saying "enough" and moving on to adult pursuits.

If you've got the opportunity to have someone as talented and game for anything as Swinton, you really owe it to her to give her a real movie to be in.

Scoop is about 50 minutes of plot padded with 40 minutes of Woody being Woody.

Sadly, the whole affair is little more than ennui with a pedigree.

Q: When is a vampire not a vampire? A: When it goes out in daylight, sees itself in a mirror, doesn’t drink human blood, and still manages to suck.

Cinderella fails spectacularly on just about every level.

More of a hangnail sketch -- no one can come away from this offering with a clue on what makes Wall Street click.

Half Past Dead would’ve been a bad film without Seagal anyways, but he fails long before any of the other parts do.

For the single-digit age set, Godzilla is sure to be the greatest movie of all time.

Step Up doesn't want to be new, original, innovative, or fresh, and it makes a point of practicing that guideline at every chance.

While I can understand and accept poor writing, it is deeply offensive to me that Wittock brushed under the rug the extensive abuse that Jeanne faces from Margarette and Marc. It normalizes non-consensual sexual behavior and parental abuse, both prevalent and very traumatic experiences. Therefore, despite all the good present in Jumbo, it would be immoral of me to recommend it.

Reviewing it is a wholly meaningless exercise, but I do it against my better judgment that anyone even seeks a second opinion before plopping down their hard-earned money for garbage like this.

What you won’t be able to ignore is the ridiculous way Vantage Point’s brings everything to an end.

Its premise may not be particularly original. But with it, Knuckleball could still have made for an effective movie, a horror film that’d also have doubled as a meditation on family. In actuality, however, Knuckleball ends up falling into a subcategory of horror films that I like to call “music-dependent.” Take away Michelle Osis and David Arcus’ scary-sounding score, in other words, and the film’s myriad flaws become woefully apparent.

You won’t want to sit through.

The Meg is simply toothless.

Caught between worlds, Disturbing the Peace isn’t as fun as it begs to be or as eloquent as it’s trying to be.

Despite the bits that work brilliantly, the movie as a whole really only works as an experimental curiosity.

There isn’t much in the way of original content to recommend in this experience beyond the film’s obvious use as easy fodder. The earnestness in which The Church was made ensures its status as an endearing failure, though sadly not as much else.

I wasn’t much scared by anything in Final Destination 2 which is silly and illogical.

Little kids should like this film. But the smarter humor and in-jokes from the first are gone, which is going to lose a lot of the older audience.

The movie wastes the talents of its two leads by refusing to take any risks with the material, marching in lockstep to every genre cliché.

The one lesson learned from watching this film is that Canadians can make movies just as badly as anyone else.

Blitz disappoints on nearly every level.

An Italian-British-French-Spanish-Romanian co-production. A better argument against multinational cooperation cannot be imagined.

Writer/director Gary Burns offers a suffocating experience which is too boring to be accepted as a satire, too lame to be accepted as a farce, and too infantile to be accepted as a drama.

Good news is that most of the marvelous English dialogue cast from the Cowboy Bebop series has returned for the film. The bad news is that the heart and soul of the series hasn’t.

The actors do what they can, but even the talent assembled here can’t help getting swallowed up in the Shyamalan vortex of nonsense.

In order to spare you the trauma of this cinematrocity, I'll go ahead and tell you how the film turns out. Who killed the General's Daughter? The filmmakers did.

Nary a moment rings true, nary a moment elicits anything close to chills or dread – or, at the very least, unintentional laughs.

Not since "Peacemaker" have we witnessed such a battle of wits.

Dark Water isn't a bad horror movie, simply because it isn’t horror at all: a full hour passes before anything remotely scary occurs, and all the suspenseful scenes take place in the final ten minutes (and are all fully shown in the trailer). What's left is tedium and a seemingly endless build-up to nothing much at all, making it a bad movie. Period.

A Wizard’s Tale is blandly animated, badly edited, terribly, terribly written and its dearth of creativity hurts its core conceit. While most of the voice actors try their best, it is all for naught.

Perhaps it is a shame that no one thought of digitally restoring and theatrically releasing the sex videos that Crane made with the many women he pleasured...that would have been far more entertaining than anything found in Auto Focus.

Nothing here is left to the imagination, Pesce running down the list of clichés and ensuring he includes every single one. Once the realization that this is yet another cheap-o retread settles in (about 10 minutes in), the rest becomes agonizingly painful to sit through.

A mildly stylish feature without any clear vision or purpose.

The movie contains not one surprise, not one shock, not one scare, not one bit of interest for any moviegoer over the age of ten (mentally or physically).

I'm sure that an interesting film could easily be made about girl surfers, this just ain't it.

A film that normally someone like Adam Sandler would star in, but for some reason Matthew McConaughey decided to star and show that he's still not funny.

Emily Blunt’s Victoria and Rupert Friend’s Albert come across like museum mannequins – utterly devoid of any genuine passion.

From its unimaginative opening, involving a dumb tourist falling to her death to the anticlimactic day-lit finale (if you get this far, you deserve some sort of Steve Irwin award), Black Water: Abyss will make you want to Crawl back into Lake Placid. To reiterate: if you’ve come for the croc, you’ll be sorely disappointed. If you’ve come for anything else… well, why did you come at all?

A sour attempt at making a Farrelly Brothers-style, down-and-dirty laugher for the female set.

Every modification fails to improve the tale, and the whimsy and wonder of fairy tales are missing. It does not honor the original but shuns it instead.

Alyssa Milano is a delight, but her ten to thirteen minutes of screen-time mark her as more of a distraction than substantiation.

This is yet another example of the Big Studio pushing out a film for the sole reason that they own the intellectual property and believe that we, like sheep, will see it because… well, we’ll see anything because we’re desperate for content.

Yes, the film is an allegorical modern fairy tale with plenty of pretty obvious social commentary, but if I can't identify with one character or be made to care, then what's the point?

Even understanding the audience for which Kicking & Screaming is aiming, it's hard not to notice the flaws.

There is potential that elevates The Luring from traditional small-budget horror output on a visceral level, but sadly there are no amount of balloons that could elevate this to a recommendation.

Ice Road: Vengeance hits all the beats of a standard action movie as subtly as an out-of-control vehicle tumbles down a precipitous incline before crashing and bursting into flames. There’s nothing fun or exciting or even interesting here.

The result was one of the worst films I've seen in a long, long time as this entire movie proved to me is that it's never too early to start the race for next year's Golden Razzies...

An almost constant misfire. From its paper-thin plot to the utterly flat script, virtually nothing works.

The supporting characters suffer from excruciating one dimensionality since none of them really have anything to do but look forlorn and opine about days past.

The only mildly interesting bit of casting comes from bringing Cartwright back (as one of Bennell’s patients).

Overall, the film is lost and never found. In her first shot as director, Hunt seems direction-less.

An inkling of an inventive concept lurks somewhere deep within the murk. Unfortunately, you'll be hard-pressed to spot it amidst all the meandering diversions, prepubescent humor, imbecilic dialogue, and curious casting choices.

Its cardinal sin is a complete, total, utter, extreme lack of originality. The title does it justice, really. Sacrilege will most likely be viewed as such by horror film aficionados.

Regardless of the poison of choice, I'm always a little miffed when an actor onscreen is supposedly on a specific drug but too lazy to learn what the actual side-effects are.

Beach House has all the makings of great low-budget horror: limited cast, isolation and a somewhat plausible variable. Sadly, these elements get lost in messy camerawork and a mundane screenplay.

It drags through a slow love story, lacks the original’s dark, gritty atmosphere, and misses the intensity that made the 1994 film a cult classic. Even the crow legend feels like an afterthought, leaving this remake bland and forgettable.

Veers back and forth between indigestibly syrupy romance and vulgar "ethnic" comedy, with healthy doses of Christian proselytizing thrown in for good measure.

It’s a given that Julia Garner can play fear, but Whannel barely taps into her skills.

The story and themes behind The Stepford Wives are way past their time. They’re products of the 1960s.

None of the set pieces are inventive, and the dialogue is either overly serious or hacky ha-has. In addition to the bland everyman at the center of the story, all the supporting characters are soulless mouthpieces.

Banks ends up with a glossy Hollywood flick disguised as a straight-to-VOD grindhouse title. It feels dishonest, forced, and overstuffed.

Lady is more of an ensemble picture, and truly the Cove is the most ethnically diverse and community-minded apartment complex in the continental United States.

The new bad movie from Clint Eastwood which takes Dennis Lehane's best-selling thriller and turns it into an inert mess that clocks in at 137 minutes but feels like 137 hours.

It lacks humor. Unlike "Scream", this film is more of a horror-drama, with everybody taking themselves way too seriously.

It's a damn shame when the dreaded third leg in the franchise feels like a pale imitation of an already pale imitator.

Even though children will probably enjoy the film, without any intelligent humor or surprises, Max Keeble's Big Move will definitely disappoint those who were born before 1988.

The men in this movie are little more than beer ad cliches going through Ford tough motions as though trapped in a bad country music video. There's not a realistic moment or character or performance in the picture.

All of the nutty editing and the loud score just grated on my nerves and failed the story.

Not many actors could do justice to the vanilla story presented by Grogan and screenwriters Scott Frank and Don Roos, but Wilson and Aniston – two of the blandest, most uninteresting actors working today – are just the actors to pull it off.

Kraven The Hunter doesn’t entertain. The only thing it does right is release the hostages after two hours.

This is nothing but an attempt to cash in on the success of “Gettysburg.”

While it would be foolish to expect a completely faithful Shakespeare adaptation from Godard, there is no pleasure in being fooled into thinking that this vague, obscure, annoying, cacophonous wreck of a film is anything but a joke being played by a self-indulgent filmmaker.

Waiting for the Barbarians isn’t a terrible film, it just never delivers on any of its promises.

This movie is plain stupid from the get go, but at least it looks good.

A confused mess.

The title refers to your expected condition when you see this movie. Oh well. It'll be HUGE on video.

A ridiculous messy Z grade film that should have been released straight to video.

Sadly, it seems that the people behind this film saw a quick buck over quality and gave audiences a turkey.

If I had the ability to engage in hyper-time, I would’ve ran up to the box office, snatched my money and left.

There are so many things wrong with Thomas Vinterberg’s It’s All about Love that if I wrote them down, this would be a five page review that would sound like a spiteful rant.

Bad movies are easy to make, but as this overheated and self-defeating propaganda piece shows, it takes a genuinely talented group of people to come up with the most astonishing botch jobs.

Its forced slapstick egregiously mugs the audience for laughs.

While How High could have been a fun comedy college students could watch over and over again, it instead plays like a bad USA movie of the week. The jokes aren't funny, the characters aren't fully developed and poor editing only makes a humorless story confusing.

Simply put this is a TWO HOUR AND 20 MINUTE long documentary that consists of nothing more than millionaire rock stars bitching, whining and complaining about their problems.

Has almost nothing to recommend it.

The film begs for more action, thrills, and jokes, or more dramatic and painful revelations. What we get is an in-between mash of romantic ideals, a botched kidnapping, and some very good time wasted.