Another soulless, pointless rip-off, this doodles around the plot parameters of John Carpenter's Halloween movies with only Pleasence, who died during production, and Carpenter's theme tune as links to the series' beginnings.

On paper, fine; on celluloid, a Rocky Horror Show of nightmarish proportions.

Double the dads, but half the laughter.

As a subversive take on Milne, it’s achingly banal. As a rural horror film, it’s more inept than the most wretched Wrong Turn sequel. As a would-be cult classic, it commits the ultimate sin of being no fun at all. This bear is sh*t in the woods.

Limp jokes, bad chemistry and the least believable onscreen fraternal bond make for a very lacklustre viewing experience. Even a late appearance from Christopher Walken can't save the day.

A needless threequel. Note to director: avoid 'rise of the' titles.

Safe when it's ripping genre jokes word for word, this pallid pastiche never goes for the jugular, the heart, or any other part of the audience, for that matter. It breezes by like the tamest of ghosts, almost unnoticeable.

Blue Iguana grates on pretty much every level, a misjudged hodge-podge of ill-defined characters, tired filmmaking licks and an air of general unpleasantness. It also contains one of the worst shootouts in recent memory.

Disappointing.

Dismal, cliché-ridden stuff.

The three stories do not make a whole in this disappointing arthouse film.

All-in-all a fairly unpleasant experience for most audiences.

The cinematic equivalent of being teabagged without your consent.

Boring and Silly, Ronin is a better example of Frankenheimer's direction.

Absolute tosh. A ridiculous, unerringly tedious plot is weighed down by listless performances from a cast who clearly wished they were somewhere else, despite the sumptuous locations.

A cool idea rapidly falls apart. A completely missed opportunity.

Bad film fans will think Christmas has come early, everyone else should ask for the receipt.

Predictably awful fourth installment.

About as funny as contracting cancer.

Technically competent, but essentially a fantasy movie that mistakes industrial light for magic. As dragon movies go, Dragonslayer, Reign Of Fire and even Dragonheart can rest easy.

Lacking a single honest laugh, this is shoddy by comparison with the other Scary Movie sequels… which throws it in a pit with Transylmania, Breaking Wind and Stan Helsing.

The first film to be based on a line of toys, this might not be the last, but it'd take something awful to replace it as the worst.

Smug and lazy comedy that barely raises a chuckle.

Significantly worse than the rest of the series, this film is one of the worst flops in recent cinema.

Ugly in more ways than one.

Hogan proved himself a better actor when pretending that American wrestling is a real sport, and the production team that brought you the Mannequin movies can add another excruciating dud to their CV.

This deeply disappointing new Fear Street instalment leans too hard into worn-out tropes and excessive gore, at the expense of fun, engaging characters or any genuine scares.

Rubbish. Irish eyes will be hard pressed to grimace, let alone smile.

As it is, an unbearably irritating, shouty, gurning Affleck takes the anaemic script and injects it with strychnine.

The bastard offspring of a charmless romcom and a toothless political satire.

Incompetent and mostly just quite boring, Assassin Club doesn’t even have the good grace to be so-bad-it’s-good. Rough, rough stuff.

Waters' attempt to reach a bigger market sees him lose his own unique identity.

An unfunny, unfocused sub-SNL baseball comedy that makes the likes of Joe Dirt and Deuce Bigalow seem vintage.

Van Sant's film is cold and the gallery of eccentrics merely come across as vulgar caricatures.

A bizarre, hopelessly muddled fantasy that's likely to induce utter bewilderment in its target audience.

It's incredible that a film could be so closely patterned on Carpenter's still-thrilling original movie and yet be so stupid, unscary and plodding as Halloween 4 is.

A turkey in crow’s clothing.

The lesson to be learned here is that movies are far more complex than music videos. Most videos require little or no thought of plot, structure or characterisation, but look great. Which is probably why Williams is so good at them.

Setting out to be a killer-cop satire for the social media age, the result makes Paul Blart look like Taxi Driver. Unfollow immediately.

Don't bother.

Unsurprisingly this film is weak. The final film in a weak trilogy, filled with weak characters, who have weak dialogue and feature in a, you guessed it, weak plot. Thankfully Travolta's next film would be Pulp Fiction giving his career a well-needed boost, it's a shame the same couldn't said for Allie.

Okay, a couple of sniggers sneak out, but on the whole the effect is stone cold.

Long-delayed. Arguably not long enough.

A lowest common denominator spoof.

A toothless, tedious farce which deserves to sink without a trace.

In this stereotypically-fuelled moralistic gangster movie, the plot is poor, the acting worse and standing at three hours, proves about three hours too long.

This hastily-produced sequel ignores the dreamstalking premise that had made A Nightmare on Elm Street successful and reverts to the overfamiliar possession story.

Stereotype-based comedy from Eddie Murphy in a variety of fat suits is just not enough to make a decent film.

Unengaging, uninspired and unwatchable. A criminal waste of time and talent.

Though Species II is far from serious and aimed squarely at the hairy-palmed, it really didn't need to be quite this rotten.

But for all her slinky, undead-chic looks, Beckinsale can't carry the film on curves alone and there's not much else here worthy of attention. Evolution's action sequences are as horribly bungled as its plot, resulting in a string of repetitive confrontations that feel toothless even by the last movie’s standards.

In the title role, newcomer Smith shows vestiges of an intuitive and moving performance, but he's swamped by a veritable tsunami of sentimentality and hamstrung by cute dialogue.

Designed to showcase Culkin at the expense of everyone else, this will have trouble appealing to the adult contingent of the family audience it's aimed at.

Proof that when you aim for the stars, sometimes you find a black hole. Hopefully just an anomaly for the usually wonderful Gervais.

Ultimately, BMX bikes and Day-Glo elbow pads just ain't cool. One best left to fond memory.

Whoever demanded a third installment of Lawrence's mirthless mash-up of weak gags and cross-dressing horrors should be imprisoned and forced to watch it on repeat until they repent. Avoid.

An unredeemable failure on all levels, other than living up to our expectations.

Dodgy on every level.

The Beverly Hillbillies turns into possibly one of the worst transitions ever. With a cast full of nobodies (who are nobodies for good reason, except Eleniak and that's for her breasts) and an uninspired script the whole film is a considerably patchy affair.

As bad as cinema gets.

Better avoided unless you're doing a study on vaguely titillating rubbish 80s animation.

Worse than Scary Movies 1 through 3… And they were terrible.

A pallid shopfloor fairytale with absolutely no magic to speak of, other than the spark in Kim Cattrall's eyes.

Really, really bad. Production company-destroyingly bad.

Nielsen's performance is truly dreadful, yet somehow it seems strangely fitting for the movie, which is unlikely even to engage the younger audience for whom it is so obviously intended. When even the outtakes you see over the end titles don't raise a single titter, you know you're in trouble.

If ever there was lawful impediment for a marriage to not go ahead, it's this mess of a movie.

A damp squib of a movie.

On paper, this could have been excellent; as it stands, it’s painful and futile for all involved. Much like the Afghan conflict itself.

A disjointed mish-M.A.S.H. of cliched comedy and misplaced observational wit.

However you dress it up, laughs where there should be frights is patently piss poor.

More terrible and tacky than one could have imagined, it will soon be forgotten and consigned to the True Movies channel to play alongside television movies about Karen Carpenter, Jayne Mansfield and Jackie Kennedy.

No doubt its small fans are thrilled, but even young kids will have to be pretty undemanding to enjoy this mess.

Could have been T2 with seraphs, or Assault On Precinct 13 crossed with Revelations. Instead, it’s a lazy genre bore. Doesn’t bode well for Priest, the next Stewart/Bettany film in the pipeline.

Non-Stop is weak sauce, a cheapie snoozer that not even heavyweights like Neeson and Moore can save.

A forgettable fantasy cheapie whose gruff earnestness feels hollow thanks to the unforgiveable thinness of its story and the weakness of its grip on its source material. Oh, and a note to whoever came up with the title: neither Arthur nor Merlin are knights of Camelot.

Irresponsible, exploitative trash.

Whatever it is they do so successfully on TV clearly fails to translate to the big screen, particularly when saddled with a script that does no one any favours. Sinbad, as an Afro-heavy 70s throwback, does his best to elevate things, but this stodge is beyond help.

It would miss the point to complain that the plot is nonsensical drivel peopled by paper-thin characters and a paucity of ideas.

Witless, charmless, teen twaddle. Let's take all prints off the film, and bury them. Don't bother marking the spot with an X.

Really, really bad. It's not good on any level. Not a good horror, not a good revenge flick, it's poorly constructed and has absolutely nothing to say or offer. Utter shit.

Very, very low-brow.

This is probably worse than you’d expect, even from a sequel to a sequel to a sequel to a sequel to a sequel.

Despite lashings of bright red gore and the obvious enthusiasm of its gibbering hordes, Redcon-1 is a hard slog. Nearly two hours of grunts vs zombies feels punitive.

Just no.

Pretty terrible sequel in every respect.

The kind of film the tabloids will call to ban. Don't take that as a reason to see it.

Blood Wars is tragically bereft of the pulp verve this nonsense needs to be tolerable.

An absolute shambles of a fantasy folly. Overlong, undercooked, and clogged with enough clichés that even its teen target audience will feel disrespected.

While it's tempting to sum up in thumbs down emoji, when they go low, we go high. So let's just say, abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

Another reason to avoid films endorsed by the US military, this is sub-propaganda tosh that inadvertently plays like Hot Shots: Part Trois.

A risible attempt to modernise classic science-fiction by adding WhatsApp and political chicanery. This thin, frenetic, soulless adaptation is misguided moviemaking cubed.

Cheap and cheerless, Norm’s appeal melts faster than the polar ice. With characters so completely devoid of charm or entertainment value, even David Attenborough would call for a cull of this lot.

All told, a fairly shameful enterprise, displaying a breathtaking paucity of imagination.

Like, so lame.

A mercenary display of product placement and a bad advertisment for filmmaking.

Dreadful.

Energetically humourless, with travelogue and circus footage inserted between the dog-piss and big boob jokes.

Re-prehensible, re-heated, and certainly not re-commended.