Like, so lame.

It’s just a waste. The premise is ripe for absurdity and the talented supporting cast have interesting quirks that might have livened things up if Shepard ever gave them the chance. Instead, aside from a few surprisingly gory moments, this makes the original show look good.

What saves the movie is its relaxed sense of self-awareness. Reynolds all but winks at the audience with his collection of Dick Dastardly sneaks and dodges, but holds onto that winning, hangdog warmth that got him to the top of the pile in the seventies.

Despite an intriguing premise, Winchester misses the mark. Its anti-gun message is a shot in the right direction, but lazy fright tactics and a contradictory ending leave it firing blanks.

Ben Barnes as a Colombian? Really?

At once explaining too much and not enough, this middle segment of the trilogy fails to amp up the stranger danger. Perhaps the scariest thing is the end title: To be continued…

Shrek this ain't. A lacklustre effort hampered by limp dialogue and lazy plotting.

About as funny as contracting cancer.

Featuring strong work from LaBeouf, Man Down is a fascinating example of how a powerful performance and good intentions can be derailed by a misguided concept and flawed execution.

Does to the medieval era what Cage's Wicker Man did to Anthony Shaffer. Hokum and not in a good way.

It's not as risqué as it wishes it were, nor as likable as it should be. Butler's rarely been better-cast, but the material's too patchy to support him .

Cute and friendly enough, but for anyone over eight, not recommended.

A spectacular misfire from a director who should have known better.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit meets Meets The Feebles, in a disappointing adult comedy that never lives up to the promise of its premise.

While this may not quite be a stake through the heart, Wes Craven's curious mix of the comic and the horrific is another nail in Eddie Murphy's career coffin.

Starts strong, finishes dull. The original Flatliners should have had a ‘Do Not Resuscitate’ order attached to it.

A toothless, tedious farce which deserves to sink without a trace.

This feels bigger and more cinematic than the first film, and sees a progression in the lives of the characters. But many of the jokes are beyond broad, and the Middle Eastern stereotypes are shockingly cack-handed.

Neither good nor bad. Scales dizzying new heights of okay. Aims for mediocrity... and nails it.

If "Spider-Man 2" is this summer's main comic-book-movie course, Catwoman is clearly the leftovers.

Sounds great, with this cast of men of a certain age on big scary two wheeled monsters. Unfortunately it only pulls it off in places.

Bay’s genuine determination to give you a good time still doesn’t result in fun. Overlong, overstuffed and soulless, for fans who grew up with Optimus and Co, The Last Knight will sting like a bee.

Poor script, poor direction and poor performances mean a dismal 70's disaster movie is the result.

Loud, noisy, flashy but too rarely chilling.

It's loud, it's stupid, yet against all the odds, enjoyable.

Precious Cargo is a film out of time. In the ’90s it would have been a serviceable DTV alternative when the Van Damme/Jeff Wincott flick was out at Blockbuster. These days it is a lacklustre anachronism. Bruce Willis should really know better.

Stereotype-based comedy from Eddie Murphy in a variety of fat suits is just not enough to make a decent film.

No award winner, but at least it delivers the rubbishy goods.

Some outrageous, if hardly original, twists eventually enliven a dreary plot. But even with Margot Robbie in full scheming-vixen mode, Terminal feels interminable.

Incompetent and mostly just quite boring, Assassin Club doesn’t even have the good grace to be so-bad-it’s-good. Rough, rough stuff.

Big sci-fi ideas done on a budget doesn't quite translate into a compelling thriller.

With all these folks in the same movie, there are inevitably moments when Hoffman or Wilson get a laugh, but on the whole it's the same again but weaker and with fewer good jokes. We're too tired of the gag even to think of a 'focker' line to sign off the review.

A dark domestic comedy that continuously shirks the courage of its convictions.

As an origin story that’s all origins and no story, there’s a hollow, stale feeling to this occasionally admirable attempt to Nolanise Marvel’s dysfunctional family.

Jaws but bigger, more mammal, and just plain bad.

The movie may dole out a few guilty pleasures, but you won’t believe a word of it.

Eddie Murphy’s Dr. Dolittle generated four sequels. On this showing, Downey Jr’s will be a standalone, an uncynical but mostly lacklustre kids’ flick that doesn’t find its voice, animal or otherwise.

Brawny but brainless techno-twaddle.

Unsurprisingly this film is weak. The final film in a weak trilogy, filled with weak characters, who have weak dialogue and feature in a, you guessed it, weak plot. Thankfully Travolta's next film would be Pulp Fiction giving his career a well-needed boost, it's a shame the same couldn't said for Allie.

A botched Guardians wannabe that isn’t half as fun as you’d hope from the punky sci-fi promise of its video-game source material and the presence of Blanchett at the top of the cast list.

Madame Web isn’t much worse than the rest of the SPUMC, give or take, but it’s not really better, either. Its minimal saving grace is that it doesn’t require much familiarity with the wider universe.

Citizens On Patrol might well have been subtitled When The Rot Set In.

Elba's reunites with Luther director Sam Miller to lesser effect in a workaday home-invasion thriller.

A mercenary display of product placement and a bad advertisment for filmmaking.

So the prognosis is generally positive, though there may be a touch too much sugar in this motion picture panacea, which is, in places, shamelessly sentimental to an extraordinarily manipulative degree.

As a throwaway 80's B-movie you could do much worse. Hauer, as is his way, plays the rough and silent type, this time a cop with Scot Duncan as his partner. There is enough gore, monsters and violence to satisfy but a good plot is sadly lacking and worst of all, they even managed to make Kim Catrall look unattractive.

This  Blithe Spirit dilutes the original’s heady cocktail, serving up a sugary punch rather than a dry martini.

Dialogue is all-cliché, a decent cast get not much to go on (if Wonder Woman put Nielsen back on the map, this does her few favours), and even the action scenes have a rushed, unfinished feel.

Every bit as contrived as the leading lady's hairstyles, and rather less technically impressive, this is still trashy fun.

It huffs and puffs to entertain but Five Nights At Freddy’s 2 falls flat on most levels. Animatronic chickens wreaking havoc should be much more fun.

Loopy, film-literate and full-bore, it's a sadistic '70s thriller in modern-day garb.

Megaton’s choppy editing barely disguises his star’s hatred of running, while a brutal 12A neutering lessens what limited fun remains in seeing Oscar Schindler creakily throw a Russian bad ‘un into some supermarket shelves.

Technically ambitious, dramatically basic. Still, it's a major step up from an AvP sequel and delivers all the Saturday night whizz-bang and Sunday morning brain-ripping you could want.

As a last hurrah for a once great action icon, Rambo: Last Blood is a damp squib. Put your headbands at half mast and remember him from his glory days.

Manages to be both very silly and highly forgettable. Only for those who collect killer-children films.

Maybe it’s fitting Playmobil: The Movie is old-fashioned, stiff and only suitable for those between the ages of four and ten, but it sure isn’t much fun.

An unfunny, unfocused sub-SNL baseball comedy that makes the likes of Joe Dirt and Deuce Bigalow seem vintage.

If ever there was lawful impediment for a marriage to not go ahead, it's this mess of a movie.

Driven by cliches and almost completely ignoring the psychological growth of the children coping with the loss of their parents, it doesn't take long for this to descent into meaningless schlock.

Kid-friendly with some neat visuals. Adults will appreciate the dulcet tones of Frasier as the Tin Man.

Sporadically funny, but never more than a sting of crude gags.

There is scarcely a laugh to be had unless you are six years old or immoderately fond of such wheezes as depositing dog poop on a white carpet.

This is simple, lazy storytelling rendered merely functional by appealing leads and the eternal lure of romantic fantasy.

Confusing and uninspired rather than completely inept, it’s still likely to be swiftly struck from the résumés of all involved.

This mess isn’t likely to reboot or revive the American franchise.

Highly-evolved it ain't, but this Stone Age slacker is a lot of fun.

While there are fun moments, the whole is an odd mix of grotesquerie and cutesiness.

Blair Witch with moon rock. Paranormal Activity in space. Contrived, but if you can take one more variant on the formula, it's got its moments.

But O'Keeffe, as Tarzan, has the best part: he never says a word, unless you count 'Aaa-awaa-awaa'. His visual presence is striking enough: Bjorn Borg's head bolted on to Arnold Schwarzenegger's body.

Predictably awful fourth installment.

Even the gratuitous nudity can't quite save a Heathers-goes-to-college horror that's undermined by a silly plot and clunky dialogue.

An unredeemable failure on all levels, other than living up to our expectations.

Almost palatable, with some fast-moving stunts but dreadful dialogue.

What begins as mildly intriguing stuff with some genuinely unsettling moments, quickly melts into a plot so confusing that it almost begins to look as though the editor was taking some mind-altering substance.

Though Clay is unbearably watchable, the mis-cast director means this comedy would be better as an action flick - it isn't funny but the violence is well executed.

Worse than being buried alive in an actual pyramid, if mercifully less time-consuming.

Torture junkies should remember it’s only four months to Saw IV -- so you can afford to avoid Captivity.

Entertaining family movie for rainy nights and Christmas holidays.

You’ll need a magnifying glass to find the jokes in this send-up of other, better Holmes screen adaptations. With stars this funny, there are inevitably some moments of mirth (several of them onion-based), but it falls well short of their previous team-ups.

Speed 2 is a well-above-average armrest-gripper with little in it to upset the children excepting, perhaps, Dafoe's lengthy white teeth, and the fact that UB40 provide onboard cabaret.

A cool idea rapidly falls apart. A completely missed opportunity.

Godsend is based on an intriguing premise. Sadly, it's mangled into an Omen-lite disaster area, thanks to a script torn between making a moral point about cloning and cheap shocks.

There are a scattering of infallibly cringe-making horrors, but on the whole Saw 3D could do with more depth.

A dodgy script and weak direction means the decent performances fall flat.

Former teen idol and sometime rap artist Vanilla Ice made his movie debut in this lightweight tale of young love that serves best as a cinematic interpretation of the photo romances much revered by pre-pubescent pinup magazines.

Purposeless waste of director Walter Hill's energies.

Goofball fun that will have kids - big and small - rolling in the aisles.

The Godfather II of manwhore sequels, this improves upon the original in every way. Especially if you're drunk.

In a month of "A Monster Calls" and "Manchester By The Sea," Collateral Beauty serves up a hollow portrait of grief. Despite its quality cast and slick visuals, the result is sombre and saccharine rather than uplifting.

Overused, hyper-stylised pop numbers aren’t enough to mask the catastrophic misjudgements that Sia has exercised here. Were Music merely hokey it could be forgiven, but its ham-fisted approach to sensitive issues make this a massive misfire.

A case of a missed opportunity. It references all the right films, but The Snowman comes off as a pale imitation.

Blood Wars is tragically bereft of the pulp verve this nonsense needs to be tolerable.

Limp jokes, bad chemistry and the least believable onscreen fraternal bond make for a very lacklustre viewing experience. Even a late appearance from Christopher Walken can't save the day.

Whoever demanded a third installment of Lawrence's mirthless mash-up of weak gags and cross-dressing horrors should be imprisoned and forced to watch it on repeat until they repent. Avoid.

As the bodies pile up amongst this testy crowd of horny teens, there remains a vacant hole were someone scary should be. In a strange way, this film stands unique amongst all slasher films as one where the killer is nearly intangible.

It's a fine line between high art and overblown nonsense. Bizarre accents and annoying camerawork abound in this package of tripe which isn't sure whether it has just left the butchers or is on its way back.

Bad film fans will think Christmas has come early, everyone else should ask for the receipt.

The action comes thick and fast but the storyline is generic and Lutz makes a particularly dull hero. An Erymanthian bore.